by Karen Lynch
“Nothing?” Roland asked.
“No,” I replied harshly. I softened my tone when I saw the pain in their eyes. “We’ll find her.”
I spent the rest of the night searching the woods. Roland and Peter refused to go home, changing into wolf form to search with me. By dawn, the two of them were exhausted, and I tried to get them to go home, but they wouldn’t leave. Finally, we went back to the Mohiri campsite where the wolves curled up on the ground and were asleep in seconds.
I was standing on the cliff, watching the boats resume their search, when Chris joined me. He’d been out in the woods all night too.
“We’ve covered at least ten square miles of ground so far. Erik rented a boat so he and Raj can search along the shore.”
“Good,” I replied, barely listening to him. I was racking my brain with the same question that had plagued me all night. How had Sara been there one second and gone the next? It didn’t make sense, and I was going to drive myself insane until I had the answer.
Several hundred yards out, the police boat dropped two divers in the water. Chris watched them for a minute then cleared his throat. “Nikolas, we need to think about the possibility that Sara is –”
“She’s not dead, Chris,” I bit out. “I’d know.”
He fell quiet for a few minutes. “We’ve never really talked about… Is the bond the reason you know she’s alive?”
“Yes.” I looked at him, trying not to see the sympathy in his eyes. “When I’m near her, I can sense her. I felt her in the water, and then she just vanished. I know she’s alive because our bond is still there and it doesn’t feel empty. I don’t know how to explain it.”
He nodded solemnly. “How does someone disappear like that? Could it be some kind of magic hiding her from us?”
“I don’t know.”
I’d thought about that and a hundred other scenarios throughout the night, but I couldn’t find any that were plausible. It would take an extremely powerful glamour to block a Mori bond. Other than the Fae, only a handful of warlocks could be strong enough to pull it off.
Trolls were cousins to the Fae, and they had some Fae abilities, which had given me brief hope that her friend, Remy, had secreted her away to help her. But I could scour this area for a lifetime and never find the trolls’ home. They lived in underground caves that were so well warded they were impossible to locate. I also didn’t think Remy would let Sara’s family and friends suffer unduly, not knowing where she was. He cared about her too much.
Chris pursed his lips. “You should get some food and sleep. You were out all night and you’re still wearing your wet clothes.”
“I’ll sleep after I find her.”
“We won’t stop looking. And you won’t be any good to Sara if you run yourself down. You’re immortal, not invincible.”
I knew he was right, but I couldn’t think about sleep. I had to call Tristan and break the news to him. But first, I had to go see Sara’s uncle. I’d promised him I would bring her home, and I’d failed. He deserved to hear it from me, not someone else.
Erik had brought my bag from the safe house, so I was able to change into clean clothes. I needed a shower, but that would have to wait.
Ten minutes later, I parked my bike next to a familiar blue Toyota outside Sara’s building. Roland’s mother, Judith, opened the door and invited me in.
“Nate’s in the living room,” she said in a low voice. “He’s in bad shape. Max came last night to tell him about Sara.”
She grabbed her coat from a rack in the hall. “I need to go to work. I’ll be back later to check on him.”
I went into the living room where Sara’s uncle sat in his wheelchair, staring out the window. He didn’t look my way when I came in.
“I keep expecting to see her walking along the wharves,” he said hoarsely. “She loves it down there.”
“I know.” I’d watched her walk on them many times in the last month.
He turned his head toward me, his eyes dark with grief. “She told me she would be home after she gave him what he wanted. She lied so I would leave. She knew she wasn’t coming home.”
“She loves you and she wanted to keep you safe.” I moved into the room and sat on the couch across from him. “And she will come home.”
He seemed not to hear my last words. “Maxwell told me you were all there when she…. She wasn’t alone.”
“She wasn’t alone,” I assured him. “I don’t think Sara could ever be alone, no matter where she goes.”
He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. “You’re her warrior friend. You were here yesterday.”
I nodded. “Nikolas.”
He gave me a half smile. “She called you a royal pain in the ass. She also said you were a good person. She trusted you, and Sara didn’t trust many people.”
I wanted to tell him to stop talking about her in the past tense, but my throat tightened painfully. It was a minute before I could speak.
“Mr. Grey…Nate, do you think you could trust me like she does?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees. “Will you trust me when I tell you Sara is still alive?”
His eyes widened. It was the biggest reaction he’d made since I’d gotten here. “How can you say that? Everyone saw her get stabbed and fall off a cliff. No one could survive that.”
“Sara did. She’s missing, but she’s not dead.”
“How-how do you know that?”
“It’s a Mohiri thing.” I didn’t think he was ready to hear that his niece was bonded to a male he’d only met yesterday.
Hope flared in his eyes. “Where is she then?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “But I won’t stop looking for her. We have a team of warriors out there searching for her.”
He let out a ragged breath. “I want so much to believe you. When she told me everything the other night, I didn’t take it well. It was a lot to take in…but that’s no excuse. She was upset when she went upstairs. I worked it all out by the time I came home from Portland, but I never got the chance to tell her that none of it changes how I feel about her.”
“She knows, and she loves you too. I was on the phone with her when Haism called to say he had you. All she could think about was getting to you.” It was hard to talk about that phone call, but if it eased her uncle’s mind, it was worth it.
He gave a jerky nod. “She was so brave when she stood up to those men. Maxwell said she was brave on the cliff too.”
I thought about her standing there, surrounded by vampires, telling Eli she couldn’t wait to watch him die, seconds before she killed him. It took a person with incredible strength to go through what she had and to keep her composure through it all.
“She’s a warrior,” I said proudly.
Nate gave me a strange look, and he seemed to be thinking about his next words. “Can I ask you…? Is there something going on between you and Sara?”
“I care for your niece,” I said with deliberate vagueness. “But we’re not together in that way.”
“Okay,” he said, though he didn’t look like he was convinced.
I stood and pulled a white card from my pocket. “This is my cell number if you want to know how the search is going, or if you need anything at all. I’ll be staying at the Beacon Inn.”
I walked over and handed the card to him. “Call me anytime.”
“Nikolas,” he said when I turned to leave. “Judith brought me one of her breakfast casseroles. I wasn’t hungry before, but I think I could eat now. Would you like to join me? I guarantee it’s better than anything you’ll get at the inn.”
I smiled for the first time since that call from Sara yesterday. “Thank you. I’d like that.”
* * *
An hour later, I stood beside my bike, staring down at my phone, dreading the call I was about to make. With a heavy sigh, I left my bike and started toward the wharves. When I reached the one where Sara and
I had talked on my first visit to her, I walked to the end of it. Then I dialed Tristan’s number.
“Nikolas, I was just about to call you. How’s Sara doing? Is she nervous about today?”
I closed my eyes for a moment, wishing I wasn’t about to kill the happiness I heard in his voice. “Tristan, something has happened.”
“What?” His tone grew sharp. “Is Sara okay?”
There was no easy way to say it. “Sara’s missing.”
“Missing? What do you mean?” he demanded.
“Yusri al-Hawwash’s men got to her. They took her uncle, and she traded herself for him.” Pain lanced through my chest. “I lost her.”
“How could this happen? Where were you? Where were Chris and Erik’s unit?” Tristan’s voice rose with each question until he was almost shouting.
I told him about the frantic phone call from Sara yesterday afternoon, the fight with the vampires on the cliff, her fall into the ocean, and the search that was underway. Reliving the last twenty-four hours was torture, but it was nothing less than I deserved. I’d promised to keep Sara safe, and I’d failed her and Tristan. I never should have entrusted her safety to someone else. I never should have let her out of my sight.
Tristan’s voice was choked with emotion when he spoke again. “Could one of the vampires have taken her? Or more of al-Hawwash’s men?”
“We killed every vampire on the cliff.” I couldn’t bring myself to think we might have missed one. “One of Haism’s men is unaccounted for, a German male named Gerhard. He left Sara’s uncle at the apartment, but he never met up with Haism. Erik’s working with Dax to track him down. We need to put people on Yusri al-Hawwash to monitor his communications and activity. If he has Sara, I don’t think he will harm her. Without the troll bile, he’ll be desperate for a cure and he might think she can help him.”
“I’ll oversee it myself. The sheik and I have some mutual acquaintances,” he replied, sounding like himself again. “I’m sending everyone we can spare to help with the search. What else do you need?”
I needed to hold Sara in my arms and never let her go again. To tell her I was sorry and to beg her for forgiveness.
“Nikolas, are you still there?”
“I’m sorry. Lost in thought.” As I watched several boats head out of the harbor, I wondered if they were going to join in the search. Or the recovery effort as I knew they were calling it now.
He exhaled noisily. “How are you so sure she survived the fall from the cliff?”
“Because I know Sara. She’s strong and resilient, and if anyone is a survivor, it’s her. And…”
“And what? If you know something, please tell me.”
I rubbed my jaw, which was covered in two days of beard. God, this wasn’t something I wanted to tell Tristan over the phone. It wasn’t something I wanted to discuss with him at all, but he had a right to know.
“I know Sara is still alive because I can feel it.”
“Feel it?” he repeated slowly. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying Sara is my mate.”
“What?” He made a few sounds of disbelief. “Mate? Are you sure?”
“Were you sure when you met Josephine?” I asked.
“Jesus! I need to sit down.” I heard him sink into his desk chair. “How long have you known? Is that why she finally agreed to come here?”
I took a deep breath of the salty air. “I’ve known since the night we met. Sara doesn’t know about it yet. She was so set against having anything to do with us in the beginning. I wanted to let her get to know me and trust me before I laid something like this on her.”
“That’s good,” he said, sounding like he was still in shock. “But how is it that she doesn’t know? She should feel the bond by now, if it was there.”
“It’s there. Trust me.” I understood his surprise, but I wouldn’t allow anyone to question my bond with Sara. “I told you her control of her Mori is unlike anything I’ve ever seen. I think she can’t feel the bond like other females because she is suppressing her demon. But her Mori does recognize mine, and I think on some level Sara feels it too.”
There was silence for a long moment. “I’m sorry. Nikolas. I’m not questioning your integrity. A month ago, I didn’t know I had a granddaughter, and now I find out she is bonded to you of all people.”
I started to speak, and he said, “I mean, you have never made a secret of your desire to remain single. Now after all these years you bond to an orphan, to my granddaughter. Do you…plan to break the bond?”
“No,” I said tightly. “Only Sara can break it.”
He let out a long breath. “I know I’m handling this all wrong. I can think of no one who would make a finer mate for my granddaughter.”
“Thank you.” I stared down at the rippling water. “I know she’s alive, Tristan. Wherever she is, I will find her.”
He sighed wearily. “I know you will. Now please, bring my granddaughter home.”
Chapter 13
“Nikolas, come in.”
I entered the apartment and closed the door behind me. Following Nate into the kitchen, I sat at the table as he rolled his chair to the spot across from me. I couldn’t help but notice his pale skin and the dark shadows under his eyes. He’d lost weight as well. Neither of us was eating or sleeping well these days, but he didn’t have a demon to bolster his strength.
I gave him a hard stare. “When was the last time you ate? Or slept?”
“I ate” – he looked at the wall clock in the kitchen – “five hours ago.” He avoided my question about sleep like he always did.
“Nate, you have to take better care of yourself. What will Sara say when she comes home and sees you like this?”
His green eyes, so much like hers, took on a haunted look. “Nikolas, it’s been two weeks.”
“I know.”
If he asked, I could tell him exactly how many days and hours it had been. I’d spent them searching every stretch of woods and road, every cave and cove for fifty miles. I had driven every street in Portland, praying I’d feel her presence. Our people had used every resource at our disposal, trying to find even a trace of her. It was as if Sara had vanished into thin air.
In the beginning, everyone had joined in the search, despite the tension between the wolves and the dozen or so warriors camping out in town. The pack was upset so many vampires had walked into their territory and attacked someone under their protection. Maxwell had been incensed that the two wolves he’d sent to guard Sara that day had shirked their responsibility, thinking it wasn’t their job to protect a Mohiri. Maxwell had assured me their punishment was severe. Cold comfort.
After the third day, people began to say Sara was dead. Wherever I went in town, I could overhear conversations about “that poor girl who drowned.” It angered me every time I heard them talk about her that way, but I couldn’t stop people from talking.
It was a week before her friends gave up hope. I didn’t see much of Roland and Peter after that because Maxwell had them doing extra training. But the few times I saw them it was clear the two of them were grieving.
“Sara’s not coming home,” Nate said.
“Yes, she is. Don’t give up on her.”
“I want to believe that more than anything, but I have to face the truth, and so do you.” He swallowed hard. “Sara is dead. It’s time we both accept it.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” As long as the bond was alive, Sara was alive, and I’d search for her forever if that’s what it took.
He sighed wearily and looked down at his clasped hands. “Father Glenn came to see me yesterday. He thinks it’s time we let people say good-bye to Sara. We’re having a memorial service for her tomorrow at St. Patrick’s. I thought you might like to be there.”
I pushed my chair back and strode to the window. My fingers gripped the edge of the countertop as I stared at the waterfront and tried to reign in my emotions. I didn’t know where Sara was, but I knew
with absolute certainty she was alive. And no one would ever convince me otherwise.
“You have to let her go. We both do. I don’t know how your people cope with grief, but humans need closure. We say good-bye. Then we try to keep going as best we can.”
When I didn’t respond, he continued. “I know you felt responsible for her, and you blame yourself for what happened. Anyone who’s met you knows you did everything in your power to save her. Sara knows that too.”
The countertop creaked under my fingers, and I released it before I accidentally pulled it from the wall. Turning, I met Nate’s agonized gaze. I didn’t want to add to his pain, but I would never accept that Sara was gone forever. My heart would stop beating before I gave up on her.
“I understand why you need to have the service, but I won’t be there.” My voice was steady, revealing nothing of the storm raging inside me. I walked past him and stopped in the kitchen doorway. “I’m sorry.”
I left the apartment and strode back to my hotel where my bike was parked. A few minutes later, I rode past Nate’s, heading out of town.
Passing the marina, I spotted the large yacht still moored at the end of the main dock. After Sara disappeared, Roland told us the two of them had narrowly escaped Haism’s men and the Hale witch at the marina the night of the storm. They’d gone there to meet her buyer, Malloy, and the men had come after them. He and Sara had escaped by jumping off a boat and hiding under the pier. Roland said he and Sara had honestly believed those men were after Malloy and that they’d just gotten caught up in his trouble.
Chris and I had scoured every inch of al-Hawwash’s yacht for clues, anything that would lead us to Sara. Tristan had sent people to go through the sheik’s house in Portland, along with many of his other holdings around the world. Tristan believed the sheik had Sara stashed away somewhere, and he had Yusri al-Hawwash living under a microscope these days. The sheik couldn’t buy toothpaste without us knowing about it.
I passed the city limit sign, and soon I was on the old mine road. I’d been down this way so many times in the last two weeks that I knew every rock, tree, and bend in the road. I parked in my usual spot and trekked through the woods to the cliff, the last place I’d seen Sara.