by Karen Lynch
I rolled off her and lay, staring at the ceiling. My hand sought out hers, and I entwined our fingers as I thought about what I wanted to say to her.
“I’m sorry about what happened before I left. I didn’t handle it well and I hated leaving you upset. I know how important it is to you to find Madeline, and I should have known you’d expect to be there when we brought her in. But I’m also glad I listened to my gut and didn’t take you with us.” I let out a ragged breath. “This was a rough one.”
“I was scared for you,” she said in a small voice.
I turned my head toward her. “That’s how I felt the whole time I was looking for you. I was afraid something would hurt you before I found you.”
Her bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry.”
I didn’t want to make her feel bad. I just wanted to make her see what it was like for me.
“I wish I could explain how it feels, this need to protect you, and how crazy it makes me when you’re in danger. The bond is a part of me – us – and it’s not something I can just turn off. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I’m trying to, but it’s hard. Put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if you suddenly lost your freedom and had people telling you what to do? I don’t want to be pampered and taken care of. I’m not fragile, and I don’t break that easily.”
Her sadness made my chest tighten. I placed our joined hands over my heart to ease the ache there.
“I know you’re not. Your spirit and independence make you who you are, Sara, and I never want to take them from you.”
I understood where she was coming from, and the last thing I wanted to do was change who she was. I’d been training her to be a warrior while asking her to give up the things I valued in my own life.
“All I’ve known for a long time is how to be a warrior and how to command others. That’s worked with everything else in my life. It’s taken me a while to learn that won’t work with us.”
“You figured that out, huh?”
I smiled at her teasing tone because it meant we had passed a big hurdle. We – I – still had a way to go, but this was a big step forward.
“Do you think you’ll ever get past it, this overprotectiveness?” she asked.
I sighed as I thought about how to answer. “I’ll never stop worrying about your safety, but I think it will get easier.”
Her answering smile told me I’d said the right thing. “When I prove I can defend myself, will you treat me like the other warriors?”
I laughed, feeling my chest lighten. “I can safely say I will never see you as one of the other warriors. But I will try to be less of a tyrant. And when you demonstrate you are ready for a mission, I won’t stop you from going on one.” Chris would probably have to tie me down to help me keep that promise. “I guarantee I won’t like it, but I won’t hold you back.”
“Thank you.”
I let go of her hand and put my arm above her head in invitation. She laid her head on my shoulder as I held her against me.
“Do you want to talk about Vancouver?” she asked.
I closed my eyes. “Later. Right now I just want to hold you.”
She snuggled into my side. “Okay.”
* * *
“Nikolas, may I speak with you a moment?”
I looked up from my bike as Desmund walked toward me. He’d been here four days, and in that time, we hadn’t spoken much. I’d been busy with work, and I wasn’t sure exactly what he did when he wasn’t with Sara. Sara was happy to have him here, and Desmund had even been training her a few hours a day. I wanted her to have every advantage, and few people could boast they had trained under one of the greatest warriors of the last five hundred years.
I straightened and wiped my hands on a rag. “What’s up?”
“I want to talk about Sara’s training. She’s not progressing as quickly as she should.” He eyed the black grease on my hands with distaste. “She is afraid of her Mori.”
“She’s not afraid of it, at least, not anymore. She’s just not comfortable with it.”
His brows drew together. “Training is not supposed to be comfortable.”
“I know that.” It was my turn to frown. “She’s been through a rough time the last two months, and she’s made great progress in her Fae and combat training. It’s just taking her a bit longer to get used to her demon.”
“You don’t seem to be in any hurry for that to happen.”
I let out a short laugh. “Trust me, Desmund, if there is anyone who wants Sara to join with her Mori, it’s me.”
More than once, I’d wondered where our relationship would be if she and her Mori were one and she could feel the bond as much as I did. I had a feeling we would have been mated months ago, and I wouldn’t be taking cold showers every day.
“Then you will be happy to assist in the special training I’ve planned for her.”
“What training?” I asked.
“Eldeorin and I had a conversation last night about Sara, and we both feel she would do better with the proper…motivation. Namely you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You and Eldeorin. This should be good.” I couldn’t imagine what the two of them could have cooked up, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.
“It’s quite simple really,” he replied smugly. “But it won’t work without your assistance.”
“What’s the plan?” I didn’t like Eldeorin, but he did genuinely seem to care for Sara. And Desmund wouldn’t do anything to harm her or allow her to be harmed.
“I think it would be more effective if you didn’t know beforehand.”
His sly smile made me wonder what the hell I’d just agreed to. But if it would help Sara, I’d do it.
“Fine. What time?”
He glanced at his watch. “Half an hour in the training room. Eldeorin will join us there.”
“I’ll see you then.”
He walked away, and I crouched beside the bike again. I could have taken the Ducati to a mechanic for a tune-up, but I enjoyed working on it myself. I didn’t think Eldeorin would appreciate me changing the oil in his pristine driveway, not that I cared. I still owed the faerie for taking off with Sara the night of our date.
Twenty minutes later, I went to get cleaned up and headed to the training room. No one was there when I arrived, and I wondered what Desmund had planned for today. Looking around, all I saw was the usual gym equipment.
I was stacking weights when I felt Sara approach. She stopped in the doorway and gave me a puzzled look, but Desmund nudged her into the room.
“Nikolas has agreed to join us today to help with a new training technique I’ve devised for you. We’ll start with our normal routine and take it from there.”
Curious about their training, I walked over to stand near the wall and watch. Sara went to the middle of the room and took a few deep breaths as if she was about to lift something heavy. Her shoulders tensed, and she grimaced as she joined with her Mori.
I tried to imagine what she felt and why it bothered her so much to do something so completely natural to me. She’d described it to me once, but it was still hard to grasp.
Desmund spoke to her, and she bent to lift a pair of forty-pound kettlebells. He walked over to join me, leaving her to her weights.
“She has to stay joined with her Mori for the duration of the exercise,” he explained. “That is the real work out. The weights just give her something to focus on.”
“How long is the exercise?”
“Normally it’s thirty minutes, but she’s barely lasting that long,” he said in a low voice. “Today, I hope to fix that.”
I nodded and watched her switch to sixty-pound weights. So far, she appeared to be doing well.
“So Vancouver was bad?” he asked after a few minutes of silence.
I lowered my voice. “Biggest ambush I’ve ever seen.” I told him everything that happened from the time we entered the house to when we killed the last vampire.
“I’v
e never seen them behave that way. There were enough of them to wipe out several teams.”
He nodded slowly. “It is unusual to hear of that many vampires working together. I am amazed you did not suffer casualties.”
“I am too.” I thought about the way some of the vampires had tried to grab warriors and leave with them. That had been bothering me since the attack. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think they were trying to capture us, not kill us.”
A kettlebell hit the floor on the far side of the room, drawing our attention to Sara. I went to pick it up and bring it back to her.
“Are you okay?” I asked because she looked a little shaken.
She gave me a tight smile. “Great. Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”
I set the weight on the floor and joined Desmund again. We watched her resume the exercise for a minute before he spoke.
“You are fortunate then that help arrived.”
“Yes,” I replied, thinking about the masked man I’d spoken to briefly in the backyard. I was annoyed when he took off, but after I saw the carnage outside, I knew every warrior there probably owed their life to him. “We found almost twenty vampires dead in the street and near the house. I don’t know how he knew where we were, but he’s the reason we didn’t lose anyone. The Seattle team wouldn’t have made it in time.”
Desmund glanced at Sara to check on her progress. “It sounds like you have a powerful ally out there.”
I nodded gravely. “We need one. We are already getting reports of more vampire attacks on our people. The team in Houston nearly lost two warriors last night.”
“Did they get help from this vigilante too?”
“No, but it’s fortunate they were all experienced warriors. The four of them took on nine vampires and killed seven. The last two got away.” According to the warriors, the vampires had seemed more interested in taking hostages than in killing them.
Desmund left me to walk over to Sara, who had set her weights on the floor. She was breathing heavily and a sheen of sweat covered her forehead. A glance at the clock told me she’d been at this for twenty-five minutes.
“You have thirty-five minutes left in this exercise,” he said firmly.
“I can’t last an hour,” she panted. “I can barely do half an hour.”
He waved a hand. “Nonsense. You are stronger than that. Continue.”
It surprised me when she conceded without further argument. Whatever else I could say about Desmund, he was a good trainer.
Instead of resuming our conversation, he and I watched Sara as she struggled to maintain the connection with her Mori.
At least ten minutes passed before she cried, “I can’t.” Her body shook from the effort, and her jaw was clenched when she gave me an imploring look.
“She must learn to do this,” Desmund said in a low voice before I could go to her.
“Am I late?” Eldeorin walked into the room. He looked at Desmund. “Sorry, I was detained.”
“Your timing is perfect,” Desmund told him.
“What are you doing here, Eldeorin?” Sara asked through gritted teeth.
The faerie smiled at her. “Desmund and I talked last night about your training, and he mentioned the difficulties you are having with your demon. We came up with something that will help motivate you.”
She looked at me, but I was as in the dark as she was. I just hoped they got on with whatever they were going to do. Seeing her in pain was hard enough. Not being able to go to her was torture, and I would not be able to stand back much longer.
“We are going to try something new, and Nikolas has agreed to take part in our little experiment,” Desmund said as he walked over to her. “You must stay joined with your Mori until the hour is up. If you don’t we will start over, but I don’t think that will happen.”
“Why?” she asked hoarsely.
In the next instant, Eldeorin was behind me with his hands gripping my shoulders. He was shielding me from the brunt of his power, but an unpleasant tingle spread out from where his hands touched me. It was like a low electrical current, enough to make me grunt in discomfort but not strong enough to cause any damage.
“Stop!” Sara yelled, starting toward us, her eyes wide with fear.
Desmund caught her from behind, holding her arms against her sides. My pulse jumped angrily at the sight of her being restrained, and my Mori growled.
“Your life could one day depend on you joining with your Mori,” Desmund said mercilessly. “What if it was one of your friends’ lives in danger? Or his? Could you do it then?”
Sara stopped struggling and glared at Eldeorin. Her eyes blazed so hot I wouldn’t have been surprised to see smoke rising from his body. “Let him go, or so help me…”
Desmund leaned down. “Imagine that is a vampire instead of the faerie. What will you do?”
Sara didn’t respond. Her gaze locked with mine, and I watched her body shake as rage replaced her fear and pain. Being joined with her Mori must be making her feel the bond more intensely. It was an emotion I recognized all too easily, and my heart swelled at the thought of her feeling that way for me.
Eldeorin shifted and sent a small jolt of power into me. I held back my grunt of pain, cursing him silently. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was enjoying this.
Something blurred in the middle of the room, and Desmund slammed backward into the far wall. Eldeorin’s hands were torn away from me as something hit him hard and sent him sprawling ten feet away. I blinked as the blur became Sara, her face a mask of fury as she stalked toward the faerie.
If there was one thing I knew from experience, it was how to calm a Mori rage. I reached for Sara and pulled her back against me, wrapping my arms firmly around her. She tried to break free, and I put my mouth to her ear. “It’s okay, Sara. Calm down.”
Her struggles ceased, and she stood quietly in my arms, her chest heaving and her breath coming in angry little pants. The tension in her body told me she was prepared to attack anyone who came near us.
Eldeorin gave her an appraising look as he leaned against the wall. “Fascinating. Sara, are you still joined with your demon?”
“Yes.”
“Interesting.” Desmund joined us. His hair was out of place, but he didn’t seem to notice as he studied Sara.
“I’m glad I could entertain you guys,” she bit out.
Eldeorin smiled, unfazed by her anger. “You are not strong enough to throw off a warrior or me with your demon strength. You used your Fae magic.”
She huffed. “So?”
“You used it while joined with your demon,” he added with a smug look.
“What?” She trembled, and I pulled her closer, my hands rubbing her arms.
“What does that mean?” I asked the faerie.
“I am not sure,” he replied with a thoughtful expression. “Sara has told me that her magic hurts her demon. Perhaps she and her demon have adapted. Or perhaps her Mori is safe from her power when they are joined.”
Sara had told me more than once she was afraid of her Fae power hurting her demon. I’d been afraid of that too, especially after her liannan. If her power couldn’t harm her Mori while they were joined, there was nothing to stop them from coming together permanently.
Desmund looked pleased with himself. “Whatever the reason, I was correct in my assumption. You think too much about merging with your Mori, instead of just letting it happen naturally. I thought that giving you something else to focus on would make you forget about the joining.”
I had to hand it to him, he’d called this one right. If there was one thing that would make her forget her discomfort, it was seeing someone she cared about in pain. Though I wouldn’t gloat too much if I were him. She’d already tossed him once, and her stiff stance told me she’d do it again with little provocation.
“You couldn’t have explained it to me instead?” she bit out.
He shrugged. “We thought this would be more effective.”
She p
ulled out of my embrace and gave me a look of betrayal. “I can’t believe you went along with this.”
I could have told her the truth, that I’d had no idea what they were planning. But she’d made great progress today because of them, and it was apparent she needed their guidance. Making her angrier at the two of them would not help with her training.
“I didn’t agree at first, but Desmund made me see that you needed incentive.”
She rubbed her arms. “Hurting you is not incentive. It’s cruel.”
I moved to take her in my arms again, but she backed away.
“You know Eldeorin would not really harm me,” I told her, not quite sure I spoke the truth.
“I’m sorry you are upset, little one, but I think you will see this was all for the best,” Desmund said. “We’ve made significant progress in your training today.”
Eldeorin scoffed loudly. “It is no wonder she cannot join properly with her demon, the way you coddle her.”
He walked toward her. “Everything we do is to help keep you alive, Cousin. I won’t apologize for that, just as I did not apologize for our training.”
“Apologize for what?” I asked them. Sara never said much about her sessions with Eldeorin, and his comment made me wonder if there was a reason why.
“Nothing,” she said shortly.
“Sara did not care for my training techniques either at first,” he told me. I waited for him to elaborate, but he left it at that.
I looked at Sara, who was still upset and taking breaths to calm herself. I didn’t like knowing I’d been part of making her this way, even though the exercise had benefited her. Sometimes, it was difficult to separate my trainer side from my mate side. Desmund knew that, which was most likely why he hadn’t told me what he was planning to do.
“I think that’s enough for today,” I said. “We’ll continue this tomorrow.”
Sara practically ran from the room. I wanted to go after her, but I doubted she would want my company.