“Excellent. Now, Sofie. There’s something we need to discuss.”
“Okay…”
“I’ll be on the set periodically over the course of the shoot.” I didn’t bother to hide my grimace at that. I wasn’t entirely comfortable around Erin. There was something about the brisk way that she talked, the patronizing tone I detected in her voice whenever it was directed at Jackson. She was intimidating and not entirely pleasant.
“But,” she continued, “when I can’t be there, it is very important that you keep me up to date with what’s happening.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t been expecting that. Didn’t she talk to Jackson several times a day? “I can do that.”
“I want to make sure we’re clear.” There was something in her voice I couldn’t read. “If you see anything that I should know about—anything at all—I need you to pass that along.”
This conversation was getting strange. “Like what, specifically?”
“Oh, you know.” She laughed briefly, but it sounded very forced. “I like to know what Jackson is up to. It makes it much easier to do my job. Who he talks to, who he sees, what kinds of topics seem to be on his mind, what plans he makes…” Her voice trailed off.
“You want me to spy on him?” I blurted out the words before I could consider if they were a good idea. And they definitely weren’t. My paycheck came from this woman’s office. Did she have the power to fire me?
“I would never ask such a thing,” she said, her voice stiff and cold. Damn it. Definitely not a good idea. But what was I supposed to say? What she was asking me to do definitely did not feel right. “I’m simply asking to be kept up to date when I can’t be there myself.”
I had to be careful here. There was no way I was going to agree to spy on Jackson. But I also didn’t want to lose my job on my first real day. “If anything comes up that seems important,” I said slowly, “I can let you know.”
“Excellent.” She sounded almost happy now. “Very good, Sofie. Thank you.”
I hung up the phone, feeling more than a little worried. Across the lot, I could see Jackson watching something on one of the monitors. Was this something Erin did often? Had Sonja spilled secrets about him to his manager? I remembered her telling him, back in L.A., that Erin had told her to put a dinner on his schedule. She’d done it without even asking him, and he’d clearly been unhappy about it.
Jackson looked up at that moment, as if he could sense I was watching, and smiled, waving at me.
I waved back, trying to tamp down my discomfort. I didn’t care if Sonja did it or if Erin got pissed at me. There was no way I was going to spy on Jackson.
Chapter Eleven
The next two weeks passed in a blur of phone calls, appointments, scheduling, and movie sets. Just when I would think I had the hang of the job, some new task would present itself. If the daily calls from Erin weren’t intimidating enough, I actually had to call the offices of Giorgio Armani, my all-time favorite designer, to schedule a fitting for Jackson’s tux for a benefit in New York the following month. Most of the time, I couldn’t actually believe that this was my job.
I’d been working for Jackson for about three weeks when Lizzie and Thomas came to town to meet with the contractor who was set to build a new house for the Medinas. During those three weeks, I had barely spoken to my cousin at all. She’d called me several times after our fight, but I used my new job or the baby as an excuse to not talk. We’d never stayed mad at each other for so long.
And Lizzie seemed determined to make sure we made up, first thing.
“Oh, I nearly forgot,” Jackson said to me on the morning of their arrival. “I talked to Thomas last night. He mentioned that they’re in town, and they’d like to have dinner tomorrow. Did Lizzie talk to you?”
I scowled at my window so he wouldn’t see. She was going behind my back now? Setting up a dinner through Thomas and Jackson? Real nice.
“I think I’m busy,” I muttered.
“Oh, really?” He sounded disappointed. “I thought it might be nice.”
I could have cursed. Jackson had very few friends here, outside of me and his co-stars, if you could even call them friends. So far, he hadn’t seemed to be hitting it off with any of them. And here he had a chance to actually get out for an evening that wasn’t work related, and I was going to deny him that because I was annoyed with my cousin.
“You could have the afternoon off,” he offered, “if that would make it easier for you to go out in the evening.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice bright. There was no way I could bring myself to say no when he was clearly so eager to do it. “But I don’t need the afternoon off.”
“Don’t be silly. You never see your cousin. Thomas said she’s been really homesick. You guys should have lunch or something.”
Thanks, Thomas.
I wasn’t at all surprised when Lizzie texted me that evening to say they were home and she looked forward to dinner. And that she hoped we could see each other, just the two of us, in the afternoon. Apparently, Jackson had shared our conversation.
She was already at the house the next day when I returned from the set. Sam’s car was gone, and I fumed as I walked in—I’d been counting on dragging him along to lunch with us. Now there wouldn’t even be a buffer.
She was bouncing Beth around the living room but stopped dead when I entered. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. “Sofie, I’m so sorry.”
I breathed in through my nose and went over to take the baby.
“You’re not even going to talk to me?” she wailed. “When I’m right here in the same room?”
“No, I’m going to put Beth in her bouncy chair so my hands are free.”
“To hug me?” She sniffled. “Or to punch me?”
I smiled in spite of myself. “I haven’t decided yet.”
Once Beth was settled, I grabbed us each a bottle of water from the fridge and went out to join my cousin on the couch. She was still sniffling loudly. “I feel so bad!” she wailed as soon as my butt hit the cushion. “Thomas said I was being just like Maria, and I know he was right—”
I held up my hand. “You were not being just like Maria.” I paused. “A little like Maria.”
She let out a sob. “It was so wrong of me, Sofie. To act like I knew better than you. That’s exactly what the family did to me when I went to London. Everyone, except you.”
“I just want you to trust me,” I mumbled into my water bottle, feeling uncomfortable with the overt display of emotion. I wasn’t much of a crier. I was much more the blow up and yell type.
“I do trust you! You’re the most amazing mother, the most amazing friend. Of course I trust you!”
“But you don’t trust him.”
That shut her up real quick. “I think you were right,” she said slowly. “That I tend to judge the people in Thomas’s line of work. I need to work on that.”
“I know that he seems shallow sometimes, Lizzie. But he’s been really great to me. This job is such a good opportunity. I can save so much money. And he got me out of the house and to L.A. That was amazing, by the way. And I could hire Sam, so it’s helping him, too—”
“I know,” she said. “It’s a great opportunity. I just… I think he likes you, Sofie.”
Jackson’s and my moment on the couch in my room in L.A. flashed through my head, but I didn’t dare tell her how right she was. Or how very mutual the feeling was.
“That doesn’t mean I’m going to make a bad choice.” I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince her or me.
“I know. That’s the thing I was forgetting about. How smart you are.” She offered me a very sheepish smile. “That was really dumb of me. Will you forgive me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I will.”
She launched herself into my arms, and I laughed, hugging her back. “Okay, you’ve been here ten minutes, and you’ve already cried and hugged me. I think we need to get this back onto steady emotional grou
nd ASAP.”
Lizzie wiped her eyes as she released me, smiling sheepishly. “Fine.”
“Did you say something about lunch?”
So I fed Beth, and we bundled her up into the little knitted jacket Lizzie had brought back from London. “Where should we eat?” I asked. “What have you been missing?”
“Coney dogs,” she declared. “Definitely Coney dogs.”
So we went to a little Greek diner down the street and feasted on chili-covered hotdogs and cheese fries while we caught up. Lizzie’s book tour was scheduled to begin in a few weeks, and she was terrified. “It’s already gone out to all the reviewers,” she said, covering her face. “I can’t even think about that. It makes me lose my mind when I think about it.”
“I’m sure they’ll love it,” I told her honestly. I wasn’t much of a reader, but even I could see that Lizzie’s book was fantastic. “Everyone will love it.”
“We have to change the subject,” she moaned. “How do you like working on a movie set?”
So I told her about the shoots and the people I had met. “I still don’t really feel like I know what I’m doing, but I don’t think I’ve screwed anything up yet.”
“And does he like the film?” she asked. “It’s so different from what he’s done before.”
I considered that while I chewed on a French fry, offering Beth her rattle with my other hand. “I can’t tell,” I finally told her. “He has a guard up when he’s on the set. I can’t tell what it means.” I’d seen him talking with a few of the other actors earlier in the week. He was going on about the last beach house he’d rented in St. Kitts. He looked happy enough as he recalled the white-gloved butler service and the amazing furnishings, but there was something off about him. He just didn’t look like…Jackson to me.
“It might be difficult,” she offered. “Working with people he doesn’t know well.”
I nodded. “He likes Jenner, that’s for sure. Did I tell you about the play?”
“No—a play with Jenner?”
“It’s some kind of benefit. For the theater here, I guess. He’s bringing different friends in for limited engagements. Jackson is going to do it for a few weeks after the movie wraps.”
“Wow. That’s pretty cool of him, helping out.”
“It’s definitely cool—it means I get at least two more weeks of work before I’m unemployed again.”
“Hmm.”
I could tell she wanted to say something more, but Beth threw her rattle before I could respond. I found it in the back corner of the booth and cleaned it with an anti-bacterial wipe before handing it to her. She promptly threw it again, this time letting out an ear-piercing scream. I raised my eyebrows at Lizzie. “I think someone is trying to tell us something.”
So we paid our bill and bundled Beth back up so we could head home.
“Thomas is here!” Lizzie said happily as we pulled into the driveway, and I tried not to roll my eyes. She had seen him a few hours ago.
“Where did you guys want to get dinner tonight?” I asked as we made our way into the house.
“Oh, Thomas made reservations. Somewhere he thought Jackson might like, but I can’t remember—”
We both stopped talking at the same time, our mouths gaping open in unison. Thomas was standing in the middle of the living room, but he wasn’t alone. Facing him, barely six inches away, was Jackson. And he had a hand on Thomas’s shoulder.
“What the hell?” I breathed.
“For you to say that,” Jackson was murmuring, his voice shaking. “Did you ever know me at all?”
Thomas held his gaze for a moment before his face broke out into a grin. “Good job, mate! That was much better.”
“Excuse me,” Lizzie finally said, and they both spun to face us, Jackson’s hand dropping from Thomas’s shoulder. “What exactly is going on here?”
Jackson looked horrified, Thomas slightly sheepish. “I was just helping Jackson with some lines.”
Lizzie crossed her arms, one eyebrow raised. “Some lines.”
“Yes. For the movie.”
I could tell Jackson was mortified so I stifled my laugh. Even though it was pretty funny. “I never knew you guys were so close,” Lizzie was saying.
“Come off it,” Thomas sighed, walking across the room to pull on a strand of her hair. “Like you’ve never helped me with lines before.”
Lizzie laughed, Thomas joining in, but from the look on Jackson’s face, I got the feeling he wouldn’t appreciate me following suit.
“I’m glad you’re here,” I told him, somehow managing to keep my voice steady. I wanted so badly to laugh. They had looked so intense. “There are some changes to your schedule for tomorrow.”
“Okay,” he said, not meeting my eyes.
“And we,” Thomas said, pulling on Lizzie’s arm, “have to meet with the contractor before dinner. And you can stop smirking right now, miss.”
They both bent to say goodbye to Beth, who had fallen fast asleep in the car and would probably now be a grump all afternoon. Once they were gone, I took the car seat up to the nursery and placed it on the floor, not wanting to risk waking her by moving her to the crib.
Back downstairs, Jackson hadn’t moved from his position in the middle of the room. I walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling out my calendar. “So your meeting tomorrow is getting rescheduled. Mr. Kingston will be in New York while we’re there, so we can do it then—” I looked up and saw that he still hadn’t moved. “Jackson? You okay?”
He shoved his hands into his hair. “I wish you hadn’t seen that.”
I studied his face. “You practicing with Thomas? It’s no big deal. It was kind of funny, you know, because it was you and Thomas. That’s all.” But he still didn’t relax. I frowned. Was he one of those totally homophobic guys who couldn’t even stand the suggestion that he might be too close to another man? I really did not have patience for that kind of thing.
“I just… It’s embarrassing, okay?”
“Why? You were acting.”
“I was getting help with my acting.”
I closed the calendar. Apparently, we weren’t going to get very much work done. “Jackson, what’s the matter with you? Everyone needs to practice their lines. I’ve seen you do it a million times—”
“I wasn’t just practicing my lines. He was helping me with the acting.” Suddenly, he dropped into the closest chair and dropped his head into his hands. “Because I am complete and utter crap.”
“What?” I stared at him. “Jackson, come on. You are not crap. People pay you millions of dollars to act in their films—”
His head snapped up. “Yes. And do you think they do that for my talent? Or for this?” He gestured angrily to his face.
I was silent for a moment, unsure of how to respond. I had never heard Jackson complain about his looks before. “I think they do it for both.”
He made a scathing noise in the back of his throat. “I think you’re wrong.”
I hated the bitter, ashamed look on his face. It was so unlike him. I left the calendar on the couch and crossed to him, kneeling in front of his chair. “Jackson, come on. You’re a very talented actor. I love your films.”
He finally lifted his head from his hands, and his eyes searched my face. “Yeah?”
“Of course.”
He blew out a long breath. “This movie has me all turned around, Sof. I’m not up to scratch with these guys. I’m just not.”
“But—”
“To be completely honest with you, I don’t think Jenner even wanted me. I think the studio put pressure on him to hire me once they found out I was interested. Because of my name.”
“I thought it was an indie studio?”
“Even indie studios need to make money.” He grimaced. “And I bring in money. But that doesn’t make me a good actor.”
“This is ridiculous. You’ve been doing this since you were a kid.”
“And I haven’t grown at all.” He smacke
d a hand down on his knee, and I flinched a little. He so rarely showed any kind of temper. “Because I keep doing all the same old shit.”
“That’s why you wanted to work with Jenner? To try something new.”
“It’s one of the reasons,” he muttered, looking away. “And it was pretty obvious as soon as I got on set that it was a mistake.” I thought about how nervous he had seemed when he started. How guarded and unlike himself he’d been on set ever since. Was this what he’d been worrying about?
“I think you’re looking at this wrong.”
“What other way is there to look at it?”
I pointed at him. “You, Jackson, are clearly someone who wants to be better. I think that’s pretty awesome. I think a lot of guys with your level of success wouldn’t even care, to be honest. You’re way ahead of the game already, just because you care enough to worry.”
He made a face. “That doesn’t change the fact that I’m shooting the movie now and I suck.”
“You don’t suck. But it’s never too late to get better, if that’s what you want.”
“And how do I do that?”
“You ask Thomas for help. They’re here all week. You ask Jenner for help—You talk to him after you shoot each scene, right?”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
“So be more detailed. Find out what you can do better.”
He visibly blanched at that.
“I mean, if you’re too embarrassed to man up and ask for advice from an Oscar winner—”
“Excuse me! I am not embarrassed.”
“Then do it. And practice what he tells you. Practice what Thomas tells you. Hell, I’m around all the time. I can go over lines with you.”
For the first time, he didn’t look quite so dejected. “You’d do that?”
“Of course I would.”
“What about now? Because Thomas gave me some tips on this scene, and we shoot tomorrow—”
I was already standing, pushing up the sleeves of my sweater. “What do you need me to do?”
He looked excited as he joined me in the middle of the room. “So, this is the big love scene,” he explained. “And when we rehearsed it with Jane, I’m pretty sure she rolled her eyes when she walked away—”
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