Anna set a plate of pancakes on the table along with a plate for her father. “And he didn’t let me win either.”
Her father put a pancake on Toby’s plate then took one for himself. “I can teach you to play if you like.”
“Really?” Toby asked.
“Yep. I’ll have your mother find the set.”
Toby grabbed the syrup bottle. “Can we play with flapjacks?”
“We’ll save the flapjacks for our bellies.”
Toby giggled and Anna stared at her father in disbelief. He glanced over at her and she mouthed, Thank you.
He gave a slight nod then plopped a dollop of butter on his grandson’s pancake. “Let me show you the right way to eat a flapjack, grandson.”
Anna turned her back to the pair to hide her teary eyes. Strangely enough, her father had never claimed Toby as his grandson so openly. Trying to forge a relationship with her son was one of the greatest gifts her father could have given her.
She cleaned up the kitchen, then glanced at the clock. “Toby. Time to go to school.” She turned to her father. “I’m headed to Starbucks to get a few hours of work in before your physical therapy appointment. Do you need me to do anything before I go?”
The hard shell snapped back into place. “I’m a grown man. I don’t need babysitting.”
“I know, Dad, I…” Her voice trailed off. Some things just weren’t worth the fight. “If you think of something in the next five minutes, let me know.”
He refused to talk to her again before she left, but she made sure he had everything he needed next to his recliner—the TV remote, a fresh cup of coffee, the newspaper, and a sharpened pencil to do the crossword puzzle.
When she and Toby started to walk out the door, Toby stopped in the opening and turned back with a beaming face. “Bye, Grandad! Have a good day!”
Anna’s back muscles tightened and she prepared herself for the brush-off her father was sure to give her son, but instead, her father’s tight jaw loosened and the hint of a smile tickled the corners of his mouth. “You, too, grandson.”
Toby’s smile spread and he bounded out the door, giddy over his newfound superpower—making his grandfather nice.
Memories of her childhood rushed back, when her father had been softer. Her mother had always had a way of taking off his edge, until she’d gone back to work when Anna had been in middle school. That was when she’d become more acquainted with the crabby man he was today.
Anna stopped and studied her father, trying to analyze his change in attitude with Toby, but any hint of his smile vanished and he glared at her. “What?”
Taking a lesson from her son, she gave him a soft smile. “Have a good morning, Dad.”
He seemed surprised and said, almost without thinking, “You, too.”
Anna remained lost in thought as she drove the short distance to Toby’s school. She missed her mother so much. She was supposed to be there helping Anna navigate motherhood. She was supposed to be there, helping navigate her father.
She could hear her mother’s voice in her head, encouraging her to continue to try to knock down her father’s walls. Cracks like she’d seen this morning gave her hope. Maybe Toby was the key.
Chapter Fourteen
I’m a moron.
Maybe it was a moment of weakness. Or maybe it was because this gave him the opportunity to see Anna, but he’d let Ethan convince him to invite Toby to spend the night on Friday. The next thing he knew, he’d pulled Anna to the side at Thursday night’s soccer practice and extended the invitation.
She’d searched his face as though trying to figure out if there was an ulterior motive. “I don’t know.”
“I know Toby’s never spent the night away from you before. And I warned Ethan it might not work out, so don’t feel like you have to say yes. I understand it’s difficult to trust people in this day and age.”
Her eyes flew open and she gasped. “What? No! There’s no one I trust more. It’s just I don’t know how he’ll do. He might want to come home, and I’d hate to disappoint Ethan.”
“How about we try it, and if he misses you too much, I’ll bring him home?”
She frowned. “I couldn’t ask you to do that. I’ll come get him.”
“We can work that part out later. Do you want to give it a try?”
“I’m game if Toby is.”
And of course he was. And now it was five fifty-five, and Ethan was in the living room with his nose pressed to the window, waiting for his best friend.
“Did you order the pizza, Uncle Matt?”
Matt grinned. “Yeah, big guy. I ordered an extra cheese and a pepperoni.”
Ethan swung his head around to face him. “Toby doesn’t like pepperoni.”
But his mother does. He gave himself an involuntary shake. Stop. “That’s why we got one with extra cheese.”
“He’s here!” Ethan shouted, pushing away from the window and running to the door.
The boy opened the door and stood in the opening, hanging on to the doorknob. “Toby! Uncle Matt ordered pizza!”
About ten seconds later Toby appeared in the doorway, holding a small duffle bag in his hand. He stopped when he reached the threshold, twisting his mouth into a frown as he stared at Ethan then past him to Matt.
Anna appeared behind him and put a hand on top of his head. “Toby, you ready to go in?”
But Toby hesitated, looking unsure.
Matt walked over, suspecting Toby was having second thoughts. “Hey, Toby,” he said. “The pizza should be here soon. Maybe your mom could stay and eat with us.”
Wide-eyed, Toby glanced up at Matt then at Anna. “Mummy?”
Anna gave Toby a smile so beautiful it stole his breath. “As long as Coach Matt doesn’t mind.” Her gaze rose up to Matt’s face, but he couldn’t read her expression.
“I ordered more than enough,” he said. “And if you’re here, I won’t feel so bad about drinking a beer. After the week I’ve had, I could really use one.” Then he realized he was putting her in an awkward position. “Unless you have plans. Or have to get back to your father.” Oh shit, why hadn’t he thought about her father?
A grin tugged at the corners of her lips. “Dad has a friend bringing him dinner tonight and they’re watching some old war movie. I was going to go see a movie myself.” She graced her son with that dazzling smile again. “But I think I’d rather stay and eat pizza with a few of my favorite guys.”
The tension drained from Toby’s body and a smile lit up his face. But Matt shrugged off the tension rolling up his back. She did not mean him with that phrase.
Ethan grabbed his arm and dragged him into the house. “Uncle Matt got an extra cheese just for you.”
Anna still stood on the front porch and her eyes widened. “I hope you didn’t order a cheese pizza just because of Toby.”
“Cheese is the universal kids’ pizza topping, right?” he asked, slightly unnerved that she still stood on the front porch. “Besides I got a pepperoni, too.”
Hesitation flickered in her eyes. “My favorite.”
“Is it?” he asked, feigning ignorance. “I thought it was the second most popular kids’ topping.”
Relief filled her eyes. “True.”
He moved closer and lowered his voice as he said with an ornery grin, “You can come in, Anna.”
A tiny smile ghosted her lips, and she took a step inside the house. “You really don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” he asked as he closed the door.
“Invite me for dinner.” She waved her hand as she lowered her voice. “I get why you invited me in, and I thank you for that. Toby wants to stay so badly, but he’s also scared. My staying for a little bit will help ease him into it, but I’m sure we can get him transitioned before your pizza arrives.”
“I think it’s good if the boys see us getting along, don’t you think?” he asked.
Her brow furrowed. “I hadn’t realized we’d made them think we weren’t.
” But then she shrugged. “But then again, they probably picked up the uneasy undercurrent. Kids are perceptive.”
“Yeah,” he said, watching her and taking in the jeans that clung to her ass like a second skin and the dark gray Beatles T-shirt that hugged the curve of her breasts. He wasn’t sure what he’d agreed to but the view was distracting.
Glancing around his living room, she smiled. “Your house is lovely.”
He was proud of his house. Kevin had flipped a house last summer and fall and had inspired Matt to buy his own. It had been one more step on the path to the new Matt, the one that accepted that life might not work out as he’d planned, so he’d find a new way. He was proud of the person he’d become.
But Anna was staring at the painted brick fireplace, the new hardwood floors, and the leather sofa.
And Matt was staring at her.
Get your shit together, Osborn.
Shifting her purse strap on her shoulder, she turned to look at him, and he realized she was expecting an answer. Had she asked a question? The last thing he remembered was her compliment about his house. “I bought it last year and spent my free time updating. The kitchen needs an overhaul, and so does the master bath. Most of what I’ve done has been cosmetic.”
“It’s very…warm and homey,” she said with a wistfulness that filled him with questions.
She glanced into the kitchen and out the back door. “Ethan must love playing in that huge backyard.”
“It comes in handy when he needs to burn some energy.” He paused, wondering if he should bring up her personal life, but now would be a good time to find out if her spirit of openness had been limited to Wednesday night. “Toby said you live in a condo. That must be hard with a small child.”
She grinned. “Toby’s not like most boys. He’s more quiet, more introspective.” She paused and then seemed to consider her next words. “It makes me grateful Phillip has chosen to stay out of our lives. He wouldn’t understand his son. He’d try to make him into…something else.”
That caught Matt off guard, and his back straightened. “Into what?”
Her lips twisted and she shrugged, looking like she regretted bringing it up. “More of a guy’s guy.” Embarrassment washed over her face. “But he leaves us alone and we’re happy.”
Was she happy?
* * *
Five minutes later, they were sitting on Matt’s covered patio, eating pizza, while the two boys talked about a rowdy four-square game at recess that afternoon.
Anna tried to stop herself from stealing glances at Matt, but now that he’d let his guard down, she was more drawn to him than ever.
She should get up and go. That rom com movie started in ten minutes and she could be in her seat before the end of the previews. Toby was comfortable now and obviously happy. He’d be fine if she left. There was absolutely no reason for her to stay, yet she couldn’t make herself go.
Leaning over to pick up her beer bottle, she noticed Matt glancing at her, and the look in his eyes told her that he was facing the same struggle.
How awkward would it be if she just got up now and left her half-eaten pizza slice and a half-drunk beer? That’s what she should do. Just go! Save yourself!
“Tell us about your school, Toby,” Matt said, jerking his gaze to her son.
He scrunched up his face in confusion. “It has an awesome playground, and sometimes a guy walks around in a tiger suit.”
Ethan nodded. “I love that guy in the tiger suit. He roars really loud, but he’s not scary.”
Matt laughed. “That’s the school you go to with Ethan. Your mascot is the Tigers. I meant your old school in London.”
Toby made a face and half shrugged. “It was okay, but this one’s better.” He flashed a grin to Ethan. “I’ve got the bestest best friend in the world.”
A knot of worry lodged in Anna’s gut. A quick glance from Matt suggested he was concerned, too.
“You know we’re only going to be here for another month,” Anna said. “Then you’ll go back to your old school.”
Toby’s mouth dropped open as he shot her a look of disbelief. “Why?”
“Because Grandpa will be better by then.” She hoped. “Because I have to get back to my job.” Before her boss fired her.
Tears welled in his eyes. “I hate your job! All you do is work at your job! I want to stay here where I can see you all the time and have sleepovers with my best friend.”
She gasped, and shame and regret wove through her like a sharp-edged ribbon. She couldn’t deny anything he’d said. But she didn’t know what to do about it either.
“Hey,” Matt said enthusiastically. “I thought we could watch a movie. If you guys are done eating, why don’t you take your plates into the kitchen and go pick one out?”
Ethan glanced over at his friend then his uncle. “I don’t want Toby to go away.”
“He’s not going anywhere tonight, big guy. You can have fun tonight, and we’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.”
The boys picked up their plates and went inside the house. As soon as the door closed behind them, Matt turned to her. “Anna, I’m—”
“Did you mean it?” she asked quietly. “Did you mean what you said?”
His voice turned husky as he kept his gaze on her. “About making the most of their time while they can? Yeah.”
She pushed out a breath and stood, scared she was about to do something stupid if she stayed, scared she’d regret it for the rest of her life if she left.
Matt rose from his seat and moved toward her, approaching her slowly like she was a skittish animal, but then again, she was and so was he. Two wounded people with hearts that had never really mended. She’d tried to date other men, but they had all been a pale substitute for the man she wanted. The man she’d said no to.
Tears filled her eyes as she looked up at him, and a grin tugged at his lips.
“I’ve missed you, Anna.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
He lifted his hand and brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. “Five weeks,” he said softly. “Give me five weeks to get to know you again.”
“Five weeks to break your heart,” she said.
“Five weeks that will last forever.”
Her chin quivered. “I can’t stay.”
He gave her a lopsided grin, his eyes glassy. “I never asked you to.”
She laughed then leaned her forehead against his chest, the same solid chest she’d taken for granted all those years ago. She’d been young and stupid back then…what was her excuse now?
“I know you’re leaving in five weeks. I know you can’t stay. We’ll worry about that tomorrow,” he whispered. “I want you, Anna. I want every part of you that you’ll share with me before you go. But what do you want?”
The longing in his eyes sucked her breath away. But could she survive walking away from him? “I want—”
“I got the movie, Uncle Matt!” Ethan shouted as he ran out the back door with Toby in tow. “We want to watch The Lego Movie.”
Matt dropped his hand to his side and smiled at his excited nephew. “The Lego Movie! Haven’t you see that about twenty times?”
“But Toby’s never seen it. His nanny wouldn’t let him.”
Anna cringed. How would Matt react to the fact that Toby had a nanny? But he seemed to take it in stride.
“Then I guess we should ask his mother if he can watch it.”
“Please, Mummy?” Toby begged, tugging on her shirt. “Can we?”
She put her hand on top of his head. “Well, after seeing Ethan’s Lego Batman helicopter last week, I think you should see it, don’t you?”
He nodded vigorously. “You’re going to watch it, too, aren’t you, Mummy?”
Her eyes widened. “Oh…This is your sleepover, Toby.”
His smile fell.
Matt turned to her. “I’m not sure what movie you planned to see, but you’re welcome to watch The Lego Movie wi
th us. You should stay. It’s a classic in the making.”
“Please?” Toby asked. Ethan joined in, and they sang a chorus of please’s.
She wasn’t sure she should stay. She hadn’t answered Matt’s question, and she didn’t really have an answer. Leaving him before had been the hardest thing she’d ever done, but to start something knowing it would end? That seemed like emotional suicide.
So why was she considering it anyway?
She looked up at Matt, searching his face.
“Stay,” he said softly.
Her other choice was to see another movie or find something else to do for the next couple of hours so her father could hang out with his friend. But the bottom line was that she didn’t want to go. “Okay.”
The boys broke out into excited shouts, then ran inside with the DVD case. “I’ll get it set up, Uncle Matt,” Ethan shouted over his shoulder.
Matt grinned. “You won’t regret your decision. It should have won movie of the year.”
She laughed. “Now I’m scared.”
“As far as kid movies go, I’d give it a nine point five.”
“So you’re saying this won’t be so bad after all.”
“I promise you won’t regret staying.” Then he gestured to the door.
What did that mean? That she’d enjoy the movie or, after their discussion, that he’d make it worth her while?
But Toby was in the doorway, motioning for her to come inside.
Ethan had put the disc in the player when Anna entered the living room, Toby tugging on her hand. “Where should I sit?” she asked, taking in the sofa, love seat, and chair.
“Anywhere you like,” Matt said from the kitchen.
She heard the microwave turn on and soon the sound of popping popcorn. Toby made the decision for her, leading her toward the love seat and sitting next to her.
Matt joined them within a minute or so, carrying a large bowl of popcorn and several glasses of water on a tray.
“Popcorn!” Ethan said excitedly. “Come on, Toby!”
Toby jumped up and reached for a handful of popcorn.
“Sit with me, Toby,” Ethan said, plopping on the sofa.
Toby sat with him then gave his mother a guilty look, but she smiled. She wanted him to learn to separate himself from her, even if it stung a little.
Always You Page 14