The music changed to some classical piece Anna had heard a hundred times but couldn’t name, and Holly moved to the back door. “Anna, it’s time.”
Anna smiled down at Toby. “Just like we practiced.”
Holly opened the door and Anna walked out, holding hands with her son.
The sun had sunk lower in the sky, and the house cast long shadows in the yard, but the candles and torches spread around the arbor gave the backyard a romantic glow. The few people they had invited were sitting in folding chairs, but she only had eyes for the man in the black tux, waiting in front of the arbor. His eyes locked on hers and a huge smile spread across his face. Ethan stood next to him, wearing a black tux of his own. He reached up and slipped his hand into Matt’s.
It seemed to take an eternity to walk across the yard to him, not because the twenty feet was too far, but because she’d waited for over a decade for this moment and she couldn’t believe it was finally here.
* * *
When Anna walked out the back door with Toby, Matt was sure he’d never seen a more beautiful woman in his life. She hadn’t let him see her dress, saying they couldn’t afford to tempt fate, but now he was glad she’d hidden it from him. The lace bodice and full silk skirt were so perfectly her. Her eyes had locked on to his, and she smiled.
Toby clung to her hand, looking equally excited and scared. Before the wedding, he’d confessed he was nervous that so many people would be looking at him, but Matt had assured the little guy that all eyes would be on his beautiful mother, not to mention Toby knew everyone who’d be sitting in the chairs. But when Toby still looked scared, Matt had told him if he became too overwhelmed, to come stand next to Matt and he would keep him safe.
Right now, Toby was plastered to his mother’s side. They had practiced Toby giving his mother’s hand to Matt, but it was obvious he wanted no part of that plan now.
Anna looked down at her son and gave him a patient smile as she tried to pull her hand free, then gave Matt an apologetic look.
Matt grinned and reached for Toby’s free hand, putting him between them.
Anna’s eyes widened in surprise and it took everything in him to resist the urge to kiss her and tell her that this was their life now—love, reassurance, and compromise. Given their circumstances, this way seemed better.
Hand in hand, the four of them walked under the arbor together, Toby between Anna and Matt, and Ethan on Matt’s right side. The minister stared at them for a moment before he started the ceremony. Matt told himself to remember all of this, but the words floated past him. He could only focus on the woman next to him, afraid he would blink and realize it was all a dream.
When it came time for the vows, Matt pulled his hands free from both boys and reached into his pocket to pull out his vows, then stopped. They had been written to Anna, but now he realized they were incomplete.
He wrapped an arm around Ethan’s back and said, “Anna and Toby, Ethan and I welcome you into our family. Our hearts are yours. Our home is yours. We want you to always feel welcome and loved.”
Matt paused and took Toby’s hand in his. “Toby.”
The boy looked up at Matt with so much love and trust, Matt felt his heart break. How much time would he miss with him? What harm would his manipulative father cause? But today was about the blessings he was gaining, not what he was about to lose. “Toby, I’m marrying your mom, but I’m also making a promise to you. I promise to love and protect you, putting your safety and protection, putting your needs above my own.” He paused, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “And though I might not always be there in person, I will only be a phone call away, and I promise if you need me, I will come to you, no matter where you are, I will come. Today, I promise to love your mother forever, but I also promise to always love you.”
Anna lifted her fingertips to her eye, patting a trailing tear.
Matt lifted his gaze to hers. “Annaliese.”
Tears flooded her eyes.
He reached for her hand and grinned, his eyes stinging. “Only happy tears today, beautiful.”
She gave him a watery smile. “The happiest.”
He lifted his free hand to gently brush away another tear. “Anna, I knew you were the one the night of our first date.” He smiled at her, his beautiful bride. “We were like two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. But it wasn’t time, and I lost you.” Her face blurred with his tears before he blinked and sent them rolling down his face. “And then I found you again.”
Anna’s chin quivered and more tears escaped.
“And despite my stubbornness and stupidity, I realized what a blessing I’d been given. How many people wish for a second chance and never get it? Anna.” He grabbed both of her hands. “Every moment with you is a gift. Every. Moment. And I will take them when I can and be grateful that I was given this second chance. Maybe our separation is my penance for not fighting for you before, and I will gladly accept it now.” His throat clogged with tears. “But I’m sorry you and Toby and Ethan have to pay the price.”
Anna shook her head, her face with tears. “Only happy tears today, Matt. Only happy.”
“Only happy.” He smiled, more tears escaping. He pulled her hand and pressed her palm to his chest and covered it with his own. “There’s an empty spot inside that only you can fill. When I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything, because you make me a better man. You make me believe I’m capable of more. So now…” His voice choked. “Now I realize I can’t fix this, and I’m letting you down…”
She shook her head. “No, Matt. No.”
“It’s easy to feel like a good man when things are going well, but your love…it makes it easier for me to handle life when things go south. Because you believe in me, Anna. When I see the love in your eyes, I see the man you see, and you make me want to be him.”
She lifted a hand to his face, brushing away his tears. “Oh, Matt. You are him. I wish you could see what I see.” She glanced down at Ethan and Toby then back up at him. “I see a man whose heart is so full of love, he gives it away freely and without conditions. I see a man who puts the needs of a child who is not his son above his own needs, even when it hurts so much…” She took a breath. “When I see you, I see a man who is a role model for my son. A man whose actions speak louder than inflated words and false promises. I see a man who is the true definition of a father.” A tiny sob escaped.
Matt lifted his hands to her face and held her still as he searched her eyes. “No. Happy tears today. I chose this freely, Anna. I was so stupid before, but now I see it clearly. You are my everything. You.”
She nodded and took a breath. “My life has been so empty without you, and it’s about to get empty again, but I will take every moment with you I can get, and thank God for what he gives. Because I’d rather have moments of perfection with you in exchange for a lifetime of emptiness.” She released a tear-filled laugh as she glanced out into the shocked faces of the guests. “So much for waiting to tell them.”
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She shook her head, her eyes burning bright. “I’m not. This is the way it’s supposed to be, especially now. The separation is part of us, it should be part of our vows, too.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“I knew you were the one, too. The night of our first date. And when I let you go, I knew it was the stupidest thing I had ever done, but I also knew it was right. And if I had to do it all again, I would follow the same path, and that makes me feel so selfish, because of the pain I’ve caused you, and the pain I will still inflict. But without that path, I wouldn’t have Toby, and life without him is inconceivable.” Her face softened. “But the pain made me a better person, a more grateful person. I took your love for granted before, but now—because of the separation—I know what a gift I’ve been given. You, Matthew Michael Osborn, are a gift. I’ve never met a man who loves so deeply, so completely, so selflessly.” Her voice choked again and she looked down at Toby then back
into his eyes. “And so I will take the special moments—embrace them and be grateful—because there is only one man I have ever loved…It’s always been you, Matt. Always and forever you.”
Matt leaned over and kissed her, his tears blending with her own.
“We’re not to that part yet,” the minister said.
Matt pulled back and smiled at Anna before glancing over at the confused-looking man. “We don’t seem to do things the typical way.”
The minister grinned. “I can see that. Do you want to exchange the rings now?”
Matt looked at Anna, realizing he’d interrupted her vows, but she nodded. “Yes. Rings.”
The boys each handed them their rings, and Matt and Anna stared into each other’s eyes as they slipped them on their fingers and repeated more vows.
The minister held out his hands. “By the power vested in me by the State of Missouri, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” He chuckled. “Again.”
Matt kissed her with the love he offered today and the promise of tomorrow while their family and friends clapped and cheered.
* * *
The reception was a blur. Anna felt a strange blend of happiness and sorrow, but she told herself to get used to it. This would be her life for the next ten years.
They knew everyone was confused, so before they walked back down the aisle, Matt explained the situation. She glanced down at Toby and Ethan to see if they were upset, but they each clung to Matt and Anna’s hands with a resigned stoicism.
Matt had already told them.
He hadn’t wanted them to find out when everyone else did. He wanted to answer their questions and ease their fears. One more piece of evidence that marrying him was the right thing to do.
Despite their sorrow, they made the reception a celebration of their love. They danced and ate, and after everyone left, they put the boys to bed, tucking them in together. While Anna knew Matt and Ethan would come to London in June, a month and a half seemed like an eternity.
Matt grabbed her hand and tugged her into their room. He pressed her back to the door as he closed it, kissing her with tenderness and longing.
She lifted her hands to his face, drinking in everything she could so she could remember it all and replay it in her head when she lay in her lonely bed in London.
“I love you, Matt. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
He picked her up and carried her to the bed. They undressed each other in a slow, unhurried pace, savoring every touch. Matt laid her gently on the bed and kissed her everywhere.
Soon she was pulling him on top of her. He watched her face as he entered her and they continued their wordless dance, their bodies expressing their love until they came together.
Matt rolled to his side, bringing her with him as he wrapped her up in his arms and his love.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Matt stared at a spreadsheet, working on a bid he planned to present the next day. He and Kevin were working through lunch to put the finishing touches on the proposal, and the numbers were starting to swim on the screen. Anna had been gone three weeks and two days, and it felt like she’d been gone three years.
“Are you sorry?” Kevin asked in a subdued voice.
Matt turned to look at him and blinked, sure he’d missed something. “What?”
“Are you sorry you married her?” He paused and leaned closer. “You’re supposed to be happy when you get married, Matt, not depressed. I know it seemed like a good idea in the heat of the moment, but are you sorry?”
Anger billowed in his chest, pissed that his friend could suggest that marrying Anna was a mistake, but he knew Kevin only had his best interest in mind. Hell, after Matt had dropped Anna and Toby off at the security checkpoint at the airport, Kevin and Tyler had been outside on the sidewalk, waiting to help Matt pick up the pieces of his broken heart.
“I love her,” Matt said quietly. “And I love that little boy.” He sat back in his seat. “Don’t worry, I’m not moping around at home. I wouldn’t do that to Ethan.”
“You shouldn’t pretend either,” Kevin said.
“I’m not. I love my life with Ethan and the dogs, even if it feels like half of me is missing. Ethan keeps my distracted. When I come to work, reality hits me.”
Kevin grinned. “So you’re saying I should act more like a five-year-old.”
Matt shook his head and laughed. “Give it a shot.” He turned serious. “Her attorney’s working on changing her decree to let her move out of the country, but the odds aren’t in Anna’s favor. So we’ll make do.”
“Making do is making you miserable. I hate seeing you like this, Matt,” Kevin said.
Matt didn’t like it either, but as far as he was concerned, there was no other option.
His phone rang and he smiled. Anna usually let Toby call him after he came home from school. “I need to take this,” Matt said.
Kevin nodded and moved back to his desk in the corner of their small office.
Matt answered his phone, happy to see it was a video call.
Anna’s face appeared on the screen when he answered and his heart was happy, if only for a few moments.
“I know you’re at work,” Anna said. “I hope we’re not interrupting.”
“That’s the beauty of being the boss,” Matt said. “I can do whatever I want.”
“Says you…” Kevin grumbled from the corner.
“Hi, Kevin,” Anna called out. “From one money person to another, we know the money person is the one in charge, even if the CEO thinks differently.”
Kevin shook his head with a grin as he stood and headed for the bathroom. “Get that woman back here as soon as possible. I need someone on my side.”
Anna heard him and frowned.
“Anna,” Matt said, lowering his voice. “Ignore him.”
“I spoke to the attorney today, Matt.”
He studied her face and felt his heart sink. “Not good news, I take it?”
She shook her head. “He’s still working on it, but he says the courts usually rule in favor of the country the child is currently living in. If only I had gone home to have him—”
“Anna, let it go. Ethan and I are coming in another month for two weeks. We can make it until then.” He gave her a soft smile. “How’s the job search going?”
She frowned. “So far nothing, but I have a head hunter working on it. She found a great job in the Netherlands but…”
“Phillip.” Or Fucker, as Matt had begun referring to him in his head.
“I’ll find something. In the meantime, I get to spend more time with Toby, and I’m getting the condo ready to put on the market.”
Even though she hoped to find a new job in London, she had decided to be prepared to move outside of the city. Matt hated that she’d lost her job and would soon lose her condo, but she insisted everything was fine.
“I might have a buyer. I have a friend who knows a couple who want to move into this building. They’re going to check it out tomorrow before I go to Toby’s Family Day at school.”
“Any word from Phillip if he’s going to come to Family Day or not?”
“No.”
“How’s Toby handling that?”
“He refuses to talk about it.”
Guilt nibbled at his conscience. “I’d come, Anna, I’d come in a heartbeat, but I have this presentation. We’re not the only group bidding, and—”
“Matt,” she said softly, leaning closer to the screen. “It’s okay. It’s just a silly school thing. In the grand scheme of life, Toby would rather have you here for two weeks instead of two days.”
“I know, but still…”
Anna looked over her shoulder. “Matt, I have to go. The realtor’s here to look around in case the deal with Darcy’s friends falls through. Call me later, okay?”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Matt put his phone on the desk, thinking about Toby’s Family Day
and his prick of a father.
Kevin emerged from the bathroom, and they went over their presentation, starting from the beginning. They had just finished when Matt’s phone rang again, this time with a video call from Toby’s iPad.
“Hey, little man,” Matt said in a cheerful voice, then he saw the tears on the boy’s face. “Toby, what’s wrong?”
“He’s not coming.”
Matt had a good idea who he was referring to, but asked, “Who’s not coming?”
“My dad. He’s not coming. He says he has a business lunch.”
Matt sat back in his seat. “Toby, I’m sorry.”
“Why did he make me come back here?” Toby sobbed. “He never wants to see me. He says he’ll come take me to play soccer, but he never comes.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt repeated, unsure what else to say. It killed him to see Toby so upset. Especially when he knew there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to make the little boy feel better. Matt had never felt so powerless in his life. He could only imagine how Toby and Anna were feeling.
“I want you to be my dad, Matt,” Toby said through his tears. “Why can’t you be my dad?”
“I’ll be your dad,” Matt said quietly. “I’ll be your dad, too.”
“But you’re on the other side of the world,” the boy wailed.
Matt felt like crying himself.
“Toby?” Anna’s voice called out from off the screen. “Who are you talking to?” Her face appeared and she looked worried. “I’m so sorry he called you.”
“No!” Matt protested, bolting upright in his seat. “I want him to call me. I want to be one of the people he turns to for help.”
“There’s nothing you can do,” Anna said. “Short of dragging Phillip to this stupid Family Day lunch.” She shook her head. “I have to get back to the realtor. Call me later.”
And suddenly, Matt knew what he needed to do. He grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled Ticket to London for one TODAY, then held it up to his receptionist, out of the view of the screen. “Let me talk to Toby again before you hang up.”
Carly’s eyes widened, then turned to her computer.
Always You Page 26