by Edd McNair
She wasn’t there for him like before. She didn’t answer his every call. If he came by late, she might be home, or she might not be, but she always came up with some shit. She never told him she was with the next dude, even though he knew. But it was something he buried, convincing himself she was just a fuck. A cool friend he could smoke, drink, and talk with, and fuck whenever and however he wanted.
She never stopped telling him she loved him, she never stopped asking him to marry her again, and she never told him no, no matter what he asked, and always made him feel he was her only one whenever they spoke or were together. So Minke began to take it all as a game in his head.
“So where we going?”
“Let’s go out to Ghent. Grab a bite and talk,” he said, heading out the door.
They jumped in the Lexus and made their way out to Colley Avenue to the bar and lounge.
“So what up with you, Lecia?” Minke asked, putting quarters in the pool table.
“What you mean, Minke?” Alecia reached for two pool sticks then picked up the menu.
“All this missing time, not answering your phone. I come by at night, you ain’t home, and you don’t pick up, and when you do call me back, you on some bullshit. What the fuck you think I’m talking about?” Minke stepped closer, looking at her then the menu. “Fuck you getting?”
“I don’t know. Chicken fingers and fries. You get the buffalo shrimp, so I can try it.” She got the waitress’ attention and made the order. She also ordered their drinks.
Minke liked the fact she handled that shit and she knew him so well, it made him comfortable.
“Talk to me, Lecia.” He cracked the balls.
“Minke, I hang out to keep from being so bored. All I do is work. I got friends, and we just hang out.”
“You must be fucking with them like that. You can’t answer yo’ shit.”
“It ain’t like that. We talk shit, hang out, play cards, but that is it.”
“You over niggas house after twelve, and they ain’t asking for no pussy? You got me fucked up.” Minke looked at her.
“It ain’t like that, Minke. And you ain’t there. Oh! I forgot. You got some other shit in town, with a new bitch staying with you, and you coming at me? Nigga, please. You never answer yo shit. I mean, never. I never know when you in town. Don’t get me wrong. I know you got to make your moves back home and shit, but you said it was me and you, Minke,” she said, moving closer to him.
“Don’t I got you? Aren’t you good?”
“Minke, you were my husband. You always took care of things with money. But I’m lonely. I want somebody to come home to, somebody to go out with, somebody to talk to in the evening and then hold me. I know what that feels like. A man don’t have to have shit, but if he coming with all that, then it’s hard not to try to love him.”
Minke stared at her, feeling her every word, and reached out and took her into his arms.
“I hear you, Lecia. Baby, I’m here, and I’m gonna be here for ya. I love you.”
“I love you too, Minke,” she said, looking at him.
Joy loved him to no end, but he was on another level in the game right now, and he was making money. But he had allowed these bitches to start playing roles and holding shit, and that was a dangerous game, especially when he started fucking them. She tried to believe him, and even though she knew he was fucking up, she always opened her arms and showed him love and allowed her guard to come down.
Minke knew what he was capable of and where to change his game. He catered to her need for attention, her need to be wanted, her need to be shown that she belonged, and again he was back in their house enjoying his woman again.
Her need to want love that bad made her cling to him and bow down to his every need and want, knowing he needed to be loved, that he needed to know that she wanted him in every way. And even though he had a bitch in a crib waiting, she allowed him to make his way into her bed and give her the best love she’d ever had, and in return she gave the best love she’d ever given.
And she felt she was in heaven again, for four days. Then he began the same shit—not answering his phone, not calling for days. Then he would pop up claiming he missed her so bad, and he needed to feel her. And he’d pull her in the room and fuck hard for about twenty minutes and be gone in thirty, leaving no evidence that he was ever there, except for the wet rag in the bathroom, her wet ass, and a hurt heart.
She could never tell him no, no matter how he made her feel, good or bad. And this became their relationship. But anytime Joy was out or had company, she would hear some of the most degrading things come out of Minke’s mouth, making her feel lower than dirt. He would leave her sitting in the house by herself, feeling like nothing.
Joy sat at the bar beside Lady. They had decided to meet at the Roger Brown’s, one of the new sports bars opened by an ex-NFL player in downtown Portsmouth. Joy wasn’t pressed to go, but Lady assured her it was an event to not miss. Kim was supposed to meet them also, but hadn’t arrived.
“Where Malaina? She coming out?” Lady sipped on her Goose and Malibu, her chill-out drink.
“She with her jump-off. Told her she better slow down. That nigga ain’t got shit to offer her if her husband find out.” Joy said.
“That’s where these hoes fuck up, fucking with these broke-ass niggas. Don’t fuck with shit less than your man,” Lady said, “not even for no dick. Every nigga gots to have potential.”
They both laughed.
“I just need me a man for some dick, conversation, attention. Shit, I don’t care if he curses me out from time to time, but just don’t curse me out and leave.” Joy shook her head. “Stay there and fuss then let’s make up.”
“You talking about one person. You messed up because you allowed Minke to come in your life. No, come back into your life and turn it upside down. You were doing fine. Yeah, I can tell that’s your boo, and every bitch got that dude who does something to them and they just can’t resist. But sooner or later, you as a woman got to realize what’s good for you.”
“Ain’t that right,” Kim said, catching the tail end of the conversation. Looking fly as ever, she hugged Joy and Lady.
“What up, girl?” Joy smiled, glad to see her friend.
“Damn, Kim! That shit hot!” Lady said, admiring Kim’s pants suit.
“Came out tonight on some business shit. I want a nigga talking about money, not ass tonight.”
“Can’t hide those titties,” Lady said. “Don’t even try it.”
They all laughed.
“Order me an appletini. I got to go pee,” Kim said, walking off.
“You heard what I said, didn’t you, Joy?” Lady asked. “I’m tired of you crying and being down.”
“I know, but I feel like he gonna come around. We’ve been through too much.”
“Yeah, but you gave him every opportunity to come in and love you and be there. He takes advantage of the situation. He’s not there for you, except on the money tip, and he gonna continue because of his kids. And if he not, you doing it now, he got you up. Now stay the fuck up,” Lady said directly, as if she had no more to say.
“You right. But I was trying my hardest to pull my family back together. It was my fault our shit got fucked up.”
“Look at me,” Lady said, staring at Joy. “No, the lifestyle fucked it up. How he lived, how his cousin lived, and the shit that came with street life is what caused your life to go the way it did. Sooner or later your views change, you change, and then your life gonna change.”
“Believe me, I’m starting to realize and know what I want and what I need,” Joy said with a crooked smile.
“Do your thing. Get a smile on that beautiful face. You deserve it.”
Kim came back. “So what’s going on? This is all right. I never come on this side.” She stared at her girls. “Why y’all so serious in the club?”
“No seriousness,” Lady said. “Just girl talk.”
“Must be talking about men and
how they be fuckin’ up. A subject that can go on forever, a nonstop conversation.”
As the conversation continued, two men in suits approached Lady.
“Hello,” one of the guys said. “Can I have a dance?”
“I don’t dance. I only two-step,” the other guy said, looking at Kim. “But I’ll dance with you,”
“Naw, I’m all right,” Kim said.
Both of them burst out laughing.
“What’s up, Lady? What the hell you been up to?”
“Nothing. Holding down the shop. Making sure this money don’t stop,” Lady replied. “What up with y’all? And where the fuck is y’all third wheel? Oooh, my bad. Kim, Joy, this Quan and Dwayne. I grew up with these cats,” she said, introducing her friends.
Kim and Joy had no interest in the suit-wearing dudes, so they indulged in their own conversation.
Then another guy came in the door, headed straight toward them. Not saying a word to Kim and Joy, he went straight to Lady. The conversation was short and serious. He stared at the dudes talking to Lady, and they eased away.
Kim and Joy wondered who the dude was with the all-black Prada. They could tell he had money, from the tight European-style clothes he wore, to the Rolex on his arm and the two diamond studs.
“Who you with? I’m ready to chill,” he said to Lady in a low voice, but Joy and Kim overheard him.
“I’m with my girls. Joy, Kim, this is Manolo,” she said loud enough for him to recognize her introduction.
“They on your team?” he asked.
“Yeah! Not like that though,” Lady said.
“Well, what’s up? Let me get a drink. Then I’m outta here. You got me?” Manolo looked Lady in the face.
“Got you, nigga. Holla when you ready,” she said, and Manolo walked off.
“What he mean, ‘on your team’?” Joy asked.
“Naw, he got dough . . . real dough. And he like to parley with girls, and I hold him down. I know girls who waiting to get down and make money.”
“For real?” Kim asked. “You get money too?”
“Yeah, just for setting them up.”
“And you don’t get down?” Joy asked.
“Not usually, but if I do, you better believe that they pay like they weigh. That’s some other shit though.”
Joy and Kim looked at each other surprised. They knew Lady was about her work, but never knew to what extent.
Moments later they saw Manolo look at Lady and head toward the door. Then Lady said her good-byes, gave them hugs, and she was out the door.
Joy and Kim sat at the bar getting nice, both wondering exactly what Lady was up to. They knew she was about her business, but never did they figure she was selling herself or selling the girls in her clique.
The colorful eye shadow, the false lashes, the flawless foundation, and Barbie doll-painted lips, all the revealing gear, the upgrades that really made men look at you started to come into focus, when Kim said it.
“Is your girl selling pussy?”
“I don’t know, but that’s not my steez,” Joy said.
“Well, that’s how dude came off,” Kim said. “Like that money rule her.”
“You’re right. I’m thinking the same thing.” I don’t want to be known as a bitch that chase money, but I don’t wanna be out here and niggas think I’m selling pussy, Joy thought. She never wanted nothing like that to get to Minke.
“So what’s up, girl? This shit ain’t really hittin’ to me. These niggas ain’t truly ballin’ and coming at a bitch tonight,” Kim said.
“Maybe they don’t like fat hoes.” Joy chuckled.
“Shit! What nigga don’t want a big diva? The problem is keeping the nigga, because they always want to shine with a perfect ten, nice slamming body, and cute face. But when it come to sex, we know and they know that they want something to grab onto. You know you ain’t never had no problem getting a man. It’s just keeping him.”
“You right. Unless you find a fine-ass nigga like Booby who love a big girl. He used to just lay around and rub me, just rub all over me, and he made me feel so comfortable,” Joy said sadly, the alcohol fucking with her.
“Don’t start, girl,” Kim said. “He’ll be home soon enough.”
Kim was hoping in the back of her mind that Booby’s time went fast, because that was her nigga too, and what they shared was unheard of. She didn’t realize how close she had gotten to Booby and had started catching feelings from their little sexcapade. She was a woman with a lot of freak in her, and the only man who allowed her to do whatever she wanted was Booby, a man so comfortable with his manhood and with himself that he let her show him how good other things could feel. If it was freakish, he wanted to try it. If she said she’d seen it or heard that it felt good, he was down.
They both sat sipping on their drinks, looking around the club at the scenery, with the same man on their mind.
Joy started thinking about how he was a beast in the bed, and how the nigga slung dick like a porno star, keeping her body soaking wet as he fucked the hell out of her. As the thoughts ran through her mind, her body began to moisten. This was one night she wished Minke would call.
She picked up the phone and dialed him, but no answer. After several attempts, her calls still went unanswered. “Damn! I can’t even get no dick. Bitch need that tonight,” she said, looking through her phone.
“Know what you mean. I’m gonna call my old faithful.” Kim pulled out her phone.
“Who you calling, Kim?”
“Yo boy, big Sizemo.”
“I ain’t know you was still seeing him,” Joy said, with a speck of jealousy and not knowing why.
“Yeah, he finally came clean about his girl, but we still hook up. That big muthafucka will come through, eat this pussy, then bang it up and put my ass to sleep, and he be gone. We both know what it is, and it works. I just got to keep my feelings in order because he that nigga that will get your ass caught up if you not careful.” Kim smiled.
Kim thought she was telling Joy something she didn’t know, but Joy had seen Sizemo run girls crazy. He was the cool-ass, down-to-earth nigga that girls had no problem feeling, but knew what time it was.
Kim sat on the phone for a few, and Joy watched as smiles kept coming across her face as if she was the happiest girl in the club.
“Fuck you keep smiling for? That nigga ain’t sayin’ shit,” Joy said, knowing Sizemo could overhear her.
Kim laughed. “Don’t be mad because my dude whispering sweet nothings in my ear.”
“Sweet nothings, exactly,” Joy said, getting close to Kim’s phone to make sure Sizemo could hear her. “That fat-ass nigga ain’t saying nothing. Not a goddamn thing.”
“Tell her she better shut the hell up before I tell my man to go at her ass for getting out of line and sticking her nose in grown folk business.” Sizemo laughed.
Kim told her what he said, and they all had a laugh.
“Better tell him to come handle his fuckin’ business. Shit! A bitch in need over here.” Joy said with a smirk, but serious as they come. Then she heard Kim tell him she was on her way home and hoped to see him tonight.
Kim hung up and was ready to go, and they made their way out and said their good-byes.
Joy made her way home and walked straight upstairs to take a seat on her bed, deep in thought. She reached over and picked up the el she had sitting in the ashtray. Minke was her only thought as she allowed her mind to flow when she heard her phone vibrate.
She retrieved it from her purse thinking and hoping it was Minke, but to her surprise, it was Omari. She ignored it because she knew if he talked right he would end up in her bed. Only thing was, she knew Minke had a key to her house, and she really didn’t want to give her love to another. So it wouldn’t be good for Omari to come around while she was feeling like this.
Her phone began to vibrate again. She ignored the call but picked it up to call Sizemo. Why? She didn’t really know.
He picked up on the fir
st ring. “What the hell you want?” he answered, hyped up.
“Hi to you, fat boy. Don’t get new,” she said with a smile in her voice.
“What’s going on with you this time of night? And, no, I ain’t coming around there. You belong to my man.” Sizemo laughed.
“Nigga, please, you crazier than a bitch, but know what, Sizemo? I’m getting tired of this shit. This nigga came back to me on that good shit, making me feel like I was that bitch and he was sorry for all the shit he did to me. But now I know that nigga doing his own thing and got me sitting here fucked up. I’m hurting inside, Sizemo, and I’m so lonely, I don’t know what to do, ready to give a nothing-ass nigga some pussy. I’ve tried to play fair, but it’s hard, real hard. I need love and attention too. I’m just talking to you because I have no one else to talk to.”
Sizemo could hear the hurt in her voice.
Over the last several months Sizemo had seen Minke come in and express his love and concern to Alecia then string her along. They’d had conversation in confidence about her and other bitches he’d been fucking around with. He also knew about all the shit Minke had in his head about her, and that he had moved in with another girl because he didn’t feel like he could trust Alecia like he used to, but wasn’t ready to let her go.
He also knew about the Dominican thing in New York that had Minke open, and that she was one reason why he spent so much time out of town. Minke had explained that he loved Alecia like no other woman, but he didn’t ever think he could look at her the same as when he was married to her. Minke actually had more of his heart and trust into his Dominican thing, which actually started off as a jump-off.
And the new thing in VA that he moved in with was a must. He had to have somebody, and somewhere in VA, that would make him feel comfortable, and it wasn’t Alecia. She was mad cool, but she had become more like a friend.
Sizemo always understood that dudes play, but as the years passed, he had become close to girls. So close, he felt bad for playing them, because he knew they deserved better. So he came honest before someone got hurt.