“It looks worse than it is,” Caleb says and covers the cut with a bandage. “Just stay off it for a bit, if you can.”
“Thanks, but what about my room?”
He takes in the mess and grabs a trash bag from Scarlet’s dresser. “Throw it all away. Solves two problems: there is nothing left for them to find and you don’t have to clean.”
“Is anyone going to mention that someone got into our room? Does that not bother either of you?” Scarlet asks.
“You’re lucky you weren’t in it when they did,” Caleb says and tosses her a trash bag. She glares at him, but shakes the bag open and starts cleaning. It’s tough seeing most of my belongings end up in trash bags, but Caleb’s right. Most of it will only tempt further invasions. The less I have, the less likely they are to return. Whomever they may be.
The three of us fall into a rhythm of tossing almost everything that belongs to me into trash bags. I fight for a few things - primarily clothes and necessities. We manage, however, to take the majority of my life and wipe it from existence. It feels both depressing and oddly freeing. It’s a dark thought, but I’m a little grateful as well. If I die facing Lilith in the end, at least my parents will be able to get in and out of my room without much effort. Soon the material parts of me are stacked in black plastic by the doorway.
“As far as your window,” Caleb says as he moves across the room, brushing the remaining glass into the trashcan. I’m not sure it’s safe for you to stay here.”
“What about me?” Scarlet asks.
“You either. I have an extra room. Why don’t you both-”
Scarlet shakes her head. “No. I will stay with someone on campus. Nora would be smart to do the same.” There is a vehemence in her voice I’ve never heard before. She senses that Caleb is dangerous, but she doesn’t stop me from staying close to him.
Would I be smart to do what Scarlet’s doing and find a friend on campus? Probably. Nevertheless, Alec tasked his brother with my protection and I would feel safer with Caleb nearby. Besides, when he returns, Alec is more likely to find me if I’m with Caleb.
“I’ll stay with Caleb,” I say. “Although I completely understand that you would rather-”
“Just be careful, Nora,” Scarlet says. She is concerned and I feel guilty keeping so many secrets from her. Especially secrets that involve Henry. However, after what happened tonight, it seems best to avoid bringing anyone else into my mess.
Caleb moves the final bag of trash - lucky number ten - to the others and admires his quick work. Sweat pastes his hair against his face and his eyes blaze with energy.
“So, my place?” he asks.
Scarlet’s eyes flick between us and, when I make eye contact with her, she raises an eyebrow. Even with the pervasive risk involved, she can’t deny he’s gorgeous and she nods approvingly after taking in his body. “All right, well, the room looks livable, so I will leave you two to - whatever it is you do. Nora, call me tomorrow? We probably need to fill out some papers or something.” This is Scarlet code, meaning, “Call me as soon as you are not with this chiseled god and tell me details.” I nod and watch her leave, dragging several trash bags behind her.
“How’d you know?” I ask Caleb when we’re alone.
“What do you mean?”
“How’d you know someone got in?”
“I was tasked with protecting you. I have been watching you since.”
“I never saw you,” I say.
“Right. Because I am a good bodyguard,” he teases. “That’s why it’s so important you stay very, very close.” His body moves against mine and suddenly the air in the room is gone. The world shifts and it is only me and Caleb and the renewed sensuality under the surface. I want to do things with him that I don’t think there are words for and I feel his arms tighten around me. My mind is going to places it definitely shouldn’t and I don’t doubt Caleb’s is taking the same tour. He is close enough to kiss and I feel his warm breath tease my lips. Suddenly, though, he backs away and picks up most of the remaining trash. “I’ll be right back. Pack up what you have left and we will bring it to my cabin.”
I’m both stung and relieved. What just passed between us could only have ended one way and, as much as my body seems to want it, I remind myself that my boyfriend is out stalking revenants for me. The memory of Alec as well as what he said about my choices extinguish the fire. I pack my few remaining things in my messenger bag and, when Caleb returns for the last of the trash, I follow him to his cabin. I hope his spare room has a lock, because I feel like I’m walking into an inferno.
****
Living with Caleb is impossible. I want to hate him, to deny what still simmers between us, but he does everything right. For starters, he’s a fabulous cook. On the first morning I stay with him, I wake to find that he’s made me a giant breakfast of French toast and eggs. Since my normal breakfast consists of whatever snacks I can dig out of the cabinet next to my bed, this is luxury. When I return from classes, he already has dinner ready and I wish that my stomach didn’t enjoy his company so much. Of course, he doesn’t eat; I don’t ask where or from whom he gets his sustenance while I am in class. Over the course of a few days and several amazing meals, Caleb becomes a friend. We talk of my studies, of my family, of the weather, and of the ordinary topics that people talk of, with no obligation or expectation. His callousness fades and he starts to show genuine concern for me. When I come in one afternoon after class, he’s waiting by the door and almost knocks me over in excitement.
“I have information,” he says. I’m immediately swept into his arms and it’s friendly at first; soon, though, the proximity lets it evolve into something else. I want to deny him, to say that it’s wrong, but sadly, when his eyes meet mine, I know that it isn’t. This has been building since we met and now, when his lips brush mine and his tongue explores my mouth, there is no way I can pretend any longer. I would have expected him to be rough, his physicality to match his personality, but he’s nothing like I anticipated. He is gentle and his hands are questioning, waiting for my permission. He does not push or ask for more; if I told him to stop, he would with no argument. No matter what my mind says, though, my body gives in to him and he carries me to the couch. He pulls me down slowly on top of him and I feel him underneath me, hard and ready. My own body reacts and prepares itself for him. Neither us moves to go further, unsure what the next step should be, although we both know what he wants. I wish I could say that I don’t want it as well, but I do. I reach for the button on his jeans, but he holds my wrist, stopping me just as my fingers brush his length under the denim.
“You love my brother.”
“I do,” I admit.
“You will regret this,” he says. He moves so that I’m sitting next to him instead of on top of him. It’s a painful transition, moral and upstanding as it may be. “I was tasked with your protection, not your ruining. I’m not the villain everyone wants me to be.”
“I never said that you were,” I say.
“I know.” He doesn’t elaborate and he doesn’t move to touch me or to push me away. I drape my arm over his shoulders and lean my head against him. It’s comforting; it is also not a move either of us must feel guilty for so we leave it at that. The heat between us continues to flicker, but we ignore it.
“Your news?” I ask, bringing us back to the present.
“I think I may have found something that could help us track Lilith,” he says.
“Lilith. Right. Your mom. The first demon.”
He sighs. “I really hate your kind. Everything is always demon, angel, vampire. Why are you all so keen on labeling everything? Lilith is our mother, as we are in this form. Other than that, she was just a mistake, an abomination.”
“Why?” I ask. “What turned her?”
He pauses. “I don’t know. But obviously she wasn’t meant to-”
“Exist?”
“Are you feeling sympathetic toward her?”
“I don’t know. I
t’s just... I believed you were evil because you were hunting Alec. But you’re not so bad. Maybe Lilith has her reasons, too.”
“Maybe. And maybe the revenants are forming a boy band.”
“Sarcasm looks good on you,” I smile.
“You’re flirting with me,” he replies. “It’s dangerous. I may just fall for you.”
There is nothing to say in response. With Caleb, it is a constant struggle to walk the line. Now, I step back behind it again. “Okay. So Lilith...”
“Yes. Lilith. If we can stop her, if we can kill her, the cycle is broken. My brother and I become mortal. It means no more curse. It means we can be free to live as we choose.”
“So no one needs to die? I mean, except Lilith.”
“No one needs to die. You save your boyfriend, I can do something with my life other than track my brother through eternity, and the cycle ends. For good.”
“Perfect. Although I have a feeling it’s not one of those things where we just stroll up to Lilith, tell her we’d like to end the cycle, and then she stands by while we destroy her.”
“Right,” he says. “We would need to face her in battle. Also, there’s a catch.”
“Of course there is,” I reply. “Blood of a virgin?”
He looks at me. “We’d be in bigger trouble if that was the case.”
“Hey,” I pout.
“No, the catch is that we have to make sure there are no others of our kind. Fifty years ago, when my brother and I went to Oxford-”
“I know about Charles and Allen,” I tell him.
“Good. Well, at that point, it was certain there were no others. However, we became distracted, to say the least, and, as you know, the cycle was completed; in the time since, we haven’t been able to find her. We are pretty sure there have been no more, but we must know with certainty.”
“Let’s say you kill her and she did turn others,” I say. “Then what?”
“Then nothing. The cycle continues, but it does so for eternity, because unless we stop it at the source...”
“Got it. So let’s assume she did, in fact, turn others. What do we do?”
“We have to find them and bring them to her, or we must kill them first. Her blood must be intact when she is destroyed; even one drop that has gone missing will mean failure. Lilith must be whole, so all parts of her that have been spread over the earth must either be destroyed or brought together,” he explains.
“And how do we find out if she turned anyone?” I ask, thinking he will go on about some sort of blood tithe to fairies or mermen. Fortunately, his answer is hell of a lot more reasonable.
“Research.”
“Caleb, you just made my night,” I laugh. “I can’t do a thing about vampires or whatever you are, but I can research like you read about.”
“I’ve never read about-”
“Forget it,” I say. “Let’s go.”
10.
The library is surprisingly empty, considering midterms are coming up. Somewhere in the middle of all this, I realize I still need to study for statistics. I almost lose it when I start thinking that I could save the world against Lilith, vampires, and revenants - and yet still not graduate because of that course. Caleb looks at me funny as I tap my fingers anxiously against the wall while we wait for the elevator; I chuckle to myself. Maybe he excelled at statistics in one of his “lives.” I shake my head and lead him into the elevator. The lounge mix version of “Tainted Love” truly captures the moment better than anything has since the instant I stepped into the vampire masquerade. Caleb smiles at me; his messy hair and incredible eyes should be illegal. Damn, he’s cute. Luckily, we reach the stacks before I can consider him further.
The stacks are always vacant since most students use the internet for everything, but I love the smell of old books. It never fails to exhilarate me when I step off the elevator; today is no different. As the doors open, history and stories welcome us back to a world that feels as if it belongs only to me. Sadly, today is not a day for exploring the great number of possibilities that exist in those pages. Instead, I bring Caleb to the antique microfilm machines.
“Really? These still exist?” He asks.
“They do, although no one uses them. Almost everything is online now. But when I Googled Samuels, it was hard to find much. I’m guessing we still have a better shot looking through these.”
We get to work going through half a century of newspapers, trying to trace the path that Lilith took from Oxford. Caleb feels confident that no one was turned since, although we cannot find Lilith, we also can’t find anything out of the ordinary in the papers. I tend to agree that anyone being turned would show up at least in a small sidebar somewhere. However, I’m not the one whose eternity depends on being sure. There is nothing, though, and hours later, our eyes stinging, we head back to the cabin. I should be satisfied, as should Caleb, but neither of us is; something feels off and I don’t like the idea of going after Lilith without knowing. The wrong decision could ruin everything.
“It’s mostly unlikely she turned anyone,” he says, once we’ve returned to the cabin and are sitting in the living room, deciding on a next step.
“Okay, mostly. But if she did, that means you kill Alec - over and over for eternity.”
“There are worse things,” he replies.
“Not for me.”
He reaches out and takes my hand. “My brother knows how these things go. It’s not permanent, you know.”
“Why even do it? What if you just… don’t? Just see what happens?”
He shakes his head. “We tried that. We’ve tried a few things. Shortly after we understood the cycle and its implications, my brother… Well, he tested it, tried to come for me first.”
“It didn’t work?”
“It didn’t work. The Mark stopped him. And, although it killed him - which was going to be the outcome anyway, it also led to a massive earthquake that destroyed three cities.”
“Damn. Don’t mess with you, I guess,” I tease.
His eyes grow dark again. “No, Nora. Don’t.”
I take my hand back and attempt to find the Caleb I’ve been getting to know, the one I had grown to see as someone I cared for, respected. “But that’s still not the same as just not doing anything. Alec killing you - well, that messes with the cycle. Letting the time pass…”
“We were in Italy right before the Renaissance. People were already talking about science, advancements, things that called into question everything faith had taught them. It was an age of doubt, a time to test the rules. We were no different. My brother and I… We let the opportunity pass.”
“And?”
“He died anyway. Of plague. Along with thousands of others.”
“You’re saying you caused the Black Death?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was an unfortunate coincidence. I imagine, however, that you don’t want us to test it again?”
“No. I don’t. But then what do we do?”
“Unless we break the curse, we do nothing. The cycle is fulfilled.”
“What about wiping the world clean of his connections or whatever? Isn’t that part of your debt?” I ask.
He refuses to meet my eyes and I wonder how each brother has kept his own burden and his own secrets for so long. They each tell a different story of how things are and how things must be. “It’s complicated,” he answers after a moment. “There’s only really been one...”
“But it ended badly,” I finish.
“That would depend who you asked.”
“Death tends to be bad regardless of the person you ask.”
“It’s not always as simple as it appears,” Caleb says.
“Have you ever killed anyone but your brother?” I ask.
“Not directly.” It isn’t much of an answer. I consider what that could mean and suddenly something reminds me of the party, of Chloe. Although they don’t kill their prey, could someone be hurt because of them?
“What hap
pens if you let things go too far? When you feed?”
“It’s an unfortunate accident.”
“Have you ever had any ‘unfortunate accidents?’”
“Of course. Although not for a very, very long time,” he answers.
“How long?”
“Longer than you can comprehend.”
“What about Alec?” I ask, although I don’t think I want to know. When Caleb stands up and moves to the kitchen, I definitely don’t want to know. He returns a few minutes later with a glass of water for me, but I wasn’t thirsty and I know evasion tactics well. Changing the subject, I get back to what triggered the line of questioning in the first place.
“Caleb, the party,” I say.
“Yes? They were all clearly pretending,” he yawns. I realize the sun is coming up and I haven’t slept. It looks like I’ll be missing classes today, but thankfully, I only have two and one is mythology. I doubt Henry will mind, wherever he is.
“There was a girl. Chloe.” His eyes look away and his expression confirms what I suspected. “You drank from her, didn’t you?”
“You know our prey must be willing,” he defends himself.
“Right, but something happened?”
“I don’t know what happened. After I ran into you and my brother, I was … shall we say, upset, so I looked for a quick release. She approached me, and she was wild; she said she knew what I was, but I thought nothing of it. The whole party, the mood, all of it - it was easy for anyone to believe she lived in a fantasy.”
I blush, remembering how I felt that night. “So what happened?”
“Everything was fine, just as it should have been. I drank from her, but when I tried to leave, she became clingy. I walked away, as I’ve done so many times before. It didn’t take long before she was screaming. Although there was no reason for anyone to believe her accusations, I felt exposed. I ran away and that was the end of it.”
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