by Lucy Gordon
‘He hasn’t lost anything,’ Leonid said. ‘He’s simply found something that means more.’
Perdita nodded. ‘If the love is that great, then you’ll do anything to prove it, no matter how difficult, no matter the lengths you have to go to, no matter what may happen afterwards.’
He didn’t reply in words, but he nodded and took her arm.
‘I expect you’re still tired,’ he murmured. ‘You ought to return to bed.’
‘I think you’re right,’ she said. ‘Let’s go.’
Once in her room, he locked the door and pulled her to him for a kiss that was unlike any they had shared before. It wasn’t clear which of them moved to the bed first, but they arrived together and lay in each other’s arms, brooding, wondering, even doubting a little. Had it finally arrived, the moment to which everything had been building since she’d landed at his feet in Paris?
They lay with their hearts beating together. When he moved she responded willingly. At the supreme moment he looked deep into her eyes, asking a silent question. She answered it equally silently, caressing him in a way that reassured him of the truth of her answer, sighing with delight as he moved against her, responding with all her heart and all her body.
After excitement came peace, lying together in contented joy, each knowing that at this moment there was nowhere else in the world they wanted to be.
*
Once Travis and Charlene had decided to take the plunge they arranged matters quickly, setting the date for the following month.
‘Are you sure you’ve got the day correct?’ Leonid asked as they said goodbye at the airport. ‘You won’t let work get in the way and make you late.’
‘I promise,’ she told him for the hundredth time. ‘Now hurry. Your flight leaves before mine. Don’t miss it.’
Reluctantly he left, turning at the last minute for a final look at her before vanishing into the tunnel on the way to the Moscow flight. She stood there for a long time after he’d gone, feeling that the world was terribly empty.
In the month that followed, all her thoughts and feelings were concentrated on him. Her research had told her much about the man the world thought it knew; a man who’d made his fortune from steel, and maintained a steely control on his life. But she had seen beyond steel to another man who sheltered deep inside him: cautious, vulnerable, lonely. She’d had tantalising glimpses of this other self, leaving her eager to reach out, find him, draw him towards her.
If he’ll let me, she mused. But he must. I’ll make him let me.
As before, their emails were mostly impersonal. Leonid’s dictatorial side caused him to book the hotel rooms, and pay her bill in advance without consulting her.
‘I’m going to have words with you,’ she murmured. ‘You’ve got to stop taking over.’
At last the great day arrived when Perdita could return to Los Angeles, and Leonid. He was at the airport, arms open to her. His embrace was so fierce that she gasped, but she was hugging him with equal force.
‘I was afraid you wouldn’t come,’ he said hoarsely.
‘You said that last time,’ she protested. ‘Do you know me so little that you still doubt?’
‘Sometimes I think I know you very well. And sometimes I don’t feel that I know you at all.’
‘That will change.’
‘Promise. Promise that your heart is open to me and always will be.’
She took his face between her hands and kissed him briefly but tenderly.
‘I promise,’ she said. ‘Trust me.’
‘I do. I always will.’
‘Let’s get out of here,’ she said.
On the way into the city, in the taxi, he said, ‘There’s going to be a big family party tonight. We have to be there.’
‘Of course. Has everyone arrived?’
‘Now that you’re here, yes.’ He sighed. ‘We’re going to have very little chance to be alone.’
He was right. Everyone had arrived, including Amos, and the next few hours were filled with family celebrations, which drifted to a close only when Travis said, ‘Charlene and I must go home now. We have a big appointment tomorrow.’ He wrinkled his brow dramatically. ‘If only I could remember what it was.’
The others roared with laughter.
‘Be careful,’ Jackson said, pointing at Charlene. ‘She’s going to make you suffer for that.’
‘No, I just thought I’d vanish without a trace,’ she teased.
‘But that would be the worst suffering,’ Travis said, putting his arms around her. ‘Now, let’s get home where I can keep a firm eye on you.’
There was more laughter and cheers as the family followed the happy couple out into the street and waved them off.
‘She’s perfect for Travis,’ Jackson observed as they went back inside. ‘She doesn’t stand for his nonsense.’
‘And that’s what a man needs in his wife,’ Darius agreed, giving his own wife, Harriet, a conspiratorial look that she returned at once.
That was one of the things that made a happy marriage, Perdita thought: a mutual need that they both recognised and welcomed. Cassie and Marcel were also smiling at each other in a way that excluded the rest of the world.
The same thought seemed to have occurred to Amos, because he was glancing back and forth between Leonid and Jackson to see if either of them was sending out signals to Freya. But Jackson was searching for something in his pocket, and Leonid was looking at Perdita.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, for she had closed her eyes.
‘Just a bit of jet lag.’
‘Of course, you had a long flight. I’ll take you upstairs.’
At her door he paused expectantly, a question in his eyes.
‘Are you really sleepy?’ he asked.
‘What do you think?’ she chuckled. ‘That was just for them. Come in. I have something for you.’
Once inside, she reached into her bag and handed him an envelope. ‘It’s the money for my bill here,’ she said. ‘I told you I’d pay it myself.’
He looked inside at the international cheque, then folded it and put it into an inner pocket.
‘I’ll wait until I’m alone before I tear it up,’ he said. ‘After all, I don’t want you inflicting “terrible vengeance” on me.’
‘Are you becoming afraid of me?’
‘I could be.’
‘Good. That’s how I like it.’
‘I guess we have a lot of ground to make up,’ he said.
She brushed his mouth with her own, increasing the pressure until she felt his arms go around her, drawing her down so that they were both lying on the bed. His lips moved, caressing her, inciting her, commanding, pleading. Tremors of delight shook her and she increased the urgency of her movements.
‘You didn’t really think I was sleepy, did you?’ she whispered. ‘I only said it so that we could get away.’
‘That’s what I hoped. Do you want to stop now? I warn you, this is your last chance.’
‘I guess I’ll just have to go on then. Lead the way.’
Everything was lovely; the way his kisses and caresses gave and took at the same time; the feeling that she was following his wishes while he was also following hers. She sighed blissfully, wishing it could last for ever.
When they were finished he held her quietly for a moment before kissing her goodnight and slipping out of the room.
Suddenly being alone was unbearable, as though she was isolated, not just in the room but in the whole world. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but the sense of desolation was dreadful.
*
Next day they gathered at the wedding. Watching Charlene approach down the aisle, seeing the look of adoration that Travis gave her, Perdita knew she had been right about them all the time. They had come to the place where they belonged, just as she and Leonid were approaching the same place.
At the reception she saw little of him. He made a speech that drew applause, and raised his champagne glass to salute t
he bride and groom. More speeches followed. Then the reception gradually turned into a party that would last all evening, and at last he drifted to her side, accompanied by Freya.
‘Help, help!’ she murmured. ‘Amos is trying to throw me into Leonid’s arms when he isn’t trying to throw me into Jackson’s. Honestly, I’m getting dizzy from being bounced around between them.’
‘Well, you stick with me,’ Perdita said. ‘I’ll protect you.’
‘Cheers.’ They clinked champagne glasses.
Marcel and Cassie joined them, and there was more clinking.
‘That was quite a speech Father made,’ Marcel said. ‘Considering that he’s as mad as fire about the wedding.’
‘Well, he shouldn’t be,’ Perdita said. ‘They’re a lovely couple.’
On the far side of the room Travis was speaking quietly to Leonid.
‘I’m glad you brought her with you. She’s what you need.’
Leonid gave a wry smile. ‘How would you know that?’
‘Because I know you better than you know yourself. She’ll never gaze worshipfully up at you and tell you you’re wonderful.’
‘Because I’m not wonderful,’ Leonid said with a grin. ‘I don’t need my brother to tell me that.’
‘Nice to see you being realistic. But I meant that she’s a strong woman, intelligent and shrewd. You don’t believe me now, but in the end you’ll find she’s been one step ahead of you all the time. What’s more, you’ll be glad of it. OK, shake your head. You’ll find out. Let me tell you something. Do you know the moment when I realised Charlene was different from all other women?
‘It was our first evening together. We went to a dinner in a Los Angeles hotel. It was a big public event and some people were surprised I was there because there had recently been some damaging stories about me in the press. They were put there by a man called Frank Brenton, because quite simply he wanted to ruin me.
‘When we arrived, Brenton came over, all false smiles and threats. I tried ignoring him, but Charlene faced him down. She told him she always believed the worst of everyone, leaving him in no doubt that she meant him. He escaped fast.
‘I could hardly believe what I’d seen, the way she’d charged into battle for me, and flattened the enemy.’
‘You really must be in love to say such things,’ Leonid said with a wry smile. ‘“Flattened the enemy”. This is a woman you’re talking about, a beautiful, delicate woman.’
‘Yes, it sounds odd, doesn’t it? We’re supposed to be the fighters, defending women. Not watching them defend us. But that’s what happened, and nothing was ever quite the same again.
‘I told her there and then that meeting her was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but it wasn’t until later that I realised just how true it was. I meant she was my friend, comrade, someone who’d fight beside me to the end. The love came later, and I understood that the woman you love needs to be your best friend as well. That’s when it really works perfectly.’
‘If you say so,’ Leonid told him. ‘As long as it works for you.’
‘All right, I understand that look you’re giving me. You can skip the patronising older brother stuff. Right this minute I’m the elder because I know something you don’t. The day will come when Perdita will take up the cudgels for you, and you’ll thank heaven for it.’ He gave Leonid a brotherly thump on the shoulder and said significantly, ‘Just wait and see.’
CHAPTER SEVEN
TRAVIS MOVED ON, leaving Leonid deep in thought. He didn’t take his brother’s words too seriously. Seeing Charlene in this light had clearly worked for Travis, but it could never be right for himself. His own instinct was to defend and protect his lady, as a man was supposed to do, not seek for her to protect him.
It was time for the bride and groom to leave on their honeymoon. Everyone waved them off, then returned to the party. Amos exerted himself to draw Leonid and Freya into the same conversation, which they both endured for a while before making their escape.
‘For goodness’ sake,’ Freya muttered in Perdita’s ear, ‘get your claws into Leonid and run off with him before I do something desperate.’
‘Get my claws into him?’ Perdita echoed, chuckling. ‘Shame on you.’
‘Anything you like. Just get him out of here.’
‘Ah, I see. Thus leaving you to concentrate on Jackson.’
Freya gave her a glowering look. ‘Not him either. Actually, I’ve got another man in my sights. I may even be announcing my engagement soon.’
‘Thanks for the warning,’ Leonid said, appearing behind her. ‘Remind me to duck before you make the announcement. Bye, Freya.’
Taking Perdita’s arm, he drew her out of the room.
‘Phew!’ she said.
‘You may well say phew!’
‘Is something the matter?’ she asked. ‘I saw you talking to Travis earlier and it seemed to disturb you.’
‘It was nothing,’ he said hastily. ‘One thing that does disturb me is that I have to get another letter from my father, and I’m hoping for your help. After the one you wrote, I had to do another one for him, following your methods.’
‘Wonderful! You see, you don’t need me.’
‘Is that what you really think?’ he asked. ‘Or what you want to think?’
‘I don’t know,’ she admitted. ‘You never really know where the road leads, do you?’
‘No, especially when there are so many roads leading in different directions. And they seem to criss-cross each other.
‘So that it’s easy to lose your way,’ she murmured. ‘Or forget where you intended to be, so you don’t even know where that was.’
‘Or change your mind about it,’ he said.
‘Yes, that can be the most confusing of all.’
‘The fact is—there’s something else as well as a letter.’
He hesitated, and she had the feeling he was struggling inside himself, not even sure that he wanted to say this.
‘What is it?’ she asked.
‘Well—’
‘Leonid, you can’t stop there. Tell me, please. The suspense is killing me.’
He took a deep breath. ‘Will you come to Russia with me?’
She drew in a sharp breath. To be wanted by him was more than she’d dared to hope, but suddenly all the confused criss-cross roads they’d spoken of seemed to whirl before her.
‘But I can’t,’ she said.
He groaned. ‘I knew you’d refuse me. Right, that’s it! Forget it!’
‘No, I only mean that I can’t come right now. I need to get a visa first, which means returning to England to make the application.’
She knew this, having researched the possibility a week ago, hoping that he would ask her. But it would be better for him not to know that just yet.
‘I’d forgotten about the visa,’ Leonid groaned.
‘How should you remember? You never need one. I’ll apply as soon as I get home.’
‘You mean—you’ll come?’
‘If you want me.’
‘If I want you?’ He stared as though unable to believe she’d really asked that. ‘If I want you?’
He looked deep into her eyes.
‘Yes, I want you. I want—’ he seemed to struggle for words ‘—I want everything. Say yes.’
‘Yes,’ she said.
‘Promise?’
But what did that mean? What would she be promising? Where did the road lead from here?
She didn’t care. Wherever that road led, nothing mattered to her at this moment but to travel it with him.
‘I promise,’ she said.
He leaned towards her, but drew back as they heard people coming closer.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ she said.
Once inside her room they threw themselves into each other’s arms for the kiss they had both yearned for, and for which they were both on edge. Her head was swimming from the feel of him, powerful yet tender. He seemed to hold her with a force that
could have defied the world, but would be mysteriously unable to defy her.
‘We must arrange your trip soon,’ he said. ‘I can’t face all those weeks without you.’
‘Hush, don’t think of it. Not yet. Just now, there’s something else—’
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘There is.’
This time there was no doubt or hesitation. Before she knew it, she was lying on the bed, clasped against his body. His face hovered above hers, intense, purposeful, yet still full of a question. Everything in her responded, Yes.
She caressed him, letting him know how willing and eager she was for his loving. He was skilled, but it wasn’t his skill that delighted her. It was his tenderness, his care for her, culminating in the most beautiful moment of her life. The sadness came when his body withdrew from hers, but she promised herself that soon, very soon, she would claim him again. And it would not be just his body that she claimed.
Later that night she lay awake, watching him lying beside her, holding her arm with one hand, as though afraid she would vanish while he slept.
‘It’s all right,’ she murmured. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’
He muttered something, pressing his face closer against her, and she stroked his hair until she fell asleep.
*
Next morning he came in while she was packing.
‘Look,’ he said, ‘why don’t we—?’
He stopped short, nearly tripping over a canvas bag on the floor.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I shouldn’t have left it there.’
Quickly she gathered up the books that had slid out. Leonid stared at them in astonishment.
‘“A Philosophical Reflection on Ornithology,”’ he recited. ‘“Rational and Irrational Theories on Luminosity.”’
‘If you could see your face—’ she laughed ‘—it shows exactly what you’re thinking.’
‘And what do you imagine I’m thinking?’
‘Whatever is this stupid woman doing with philosophical volumes? How could she possibly understand them?’
‘I’ve never thought you stupid,’ he said, reddening slightly.
‘But you don’t think I can understand long words,’ she challenged. ‘Go on, admit it.’
‘I’ve never pretended to understand you. Every time we meet I discover a new side of you that I never dreamed of before. And this—’ He indicated the books, then paused, struck by something.