Maybe I will bash his ugly face in and show him and God that I don’t need them and I can do this thing on my own.
Yeah, maybe. Maybe.
I swallow and taste a bitter sort of taste, the kind you have right before hurling. Then I hear my name called. I shut my eyes. I don’t want to do this. I really don’t.
I just want to be away from all of this.
It’s probably the last time the guys and I will hang out at the quarry this summer. The August afternoon is hot, and I’m sitting in the shade watching Frankie and Devon and Barton behaving like idiots in the water. I look at all the people in this swimming hole—the mothers with their little babies and toddlers, the middle school kids just starting to figure themselves out, the couples suntanning for each other. Everybody is acting like it’s just another ordinary day, and it sure feels like it. But part of me wonders if something really, truly has been set in motion. Something awful that can’t be stopped. Or something that can only be stopped by something Marvel is supposed to do.
“Come on in the water,” Frankie shouts to me.
I wave at him, but I don’t feel like it. I’m thinking of all these unanswered strands and wondering what will happen with them.
I think of what happened with Marvel’s father, what he did to their family. She got out only to go live with an uncle who gives her creepy looks and an aunt who doesn’t trust her. I wonder what it’s going to be like when Marvel arrives at school. Who will welcome her (the guys probably) and who won’t (Taryn and her friends).
I think of my ex and dread seeing her and her friends again. It’s been nice to be away, to have a break from all that nonsense. But soon it’ll be back in force. I’ll have to deal with Taryn coming up to me day after day with drama after drama.
I think of Seth and wonder how he’s going to make it through next year. Will the guys get bored with bullying? Normally, guys are too stupid to get bored with doing something bad. I think it’s going to continue. And I think I’m going to keep figuring out ways I can help. Whatever that means.
I wonder when we’ll find out more details about the girl from St. Charles who showed up dead in the river. Is her death connected to Artie Duncan’s? Is there a serial killer on the loose?
Maybe that’s why I suddenly feel so awful, so worried. I’m watching my friends laughing and enjoying themselves, and I wonder what would happen if one of them showed up dead. We all knew Artie, but he wasn’t a close friend. But what if? What if?
I close my eyes for a moment and picture my father. I can still see his smile when I greeted him in our house. He acted nice and polite and friendly, but we both know it’s just an act. I don’t care if he’s gotten some help. He’s not going to change. I could still see it in his eyes, the fire burning. Like a wick always on, always ready to engulf you in flames.
“Get in here,” Frankie calls out again.
Enough worrying and soul-searching and wondering. I can’t do anything about those things now. All I can do is dive into the water and keep living life. And that’s what I’m going to do.
“Hi.”
Marvel’s voice on the line is always a pleasant surprise.
“What’s up?” I ask her.
I’m driving home from cutting a lawn. I was going to see if she wanted to hang out later, whatever that might mean.
“I’m leaving to spend a week in Michigan before school starts.”
“Really? Where?”
“The Grand Rapids area. We have relatives there. My aunt’s taking some time off work.”
“So when do you leave?” I ask.
“In about an hour.”
I laugh. “Wow. That’s sudden.”
“I know.”
“So when do you get back?”
“Sunday.”
“So I won’t even see you before school starts then, huh?”
“I know.” She sounds sad. “I was hoping just to see you one more time.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I see you now?”
I’m a sweaty, grassy mess, but that’s okay. “Well, yeah, sure. Why? Are you okay?”
“Yes. I just have something to give you.”
“That makes me nervous. Like you’re going to give me some kind of special amulet to battle the walking dead.”
“Where do you come up with this stuff?”
“I love zombies,” I say, half joking.
“It’s nothing like that. It’s just—it’s the equivalent of seeing you one more time before school. It’s something I want you to start school with.”
“A Lynyrd Skynyrd T-shirt?”
She laughs. This is record store humor, since we always joke about all the Lynyrd Skynyrd shirts we are constantly selling.
“No, no, it’s not that special,” Marvel says.
“I was driving home. I could swing by your apartment.”
“I can’t leave. But I can at least meet you in the parking lot.”
“How romantic.”
Marvel is wearing cutoff jeans and a T-shirt that says Love Peace Joy. She walks over to my car slowly in her flip-flops. Her hair looks like it’s in braids.
“I have to work on looking different every time I see you,” I tell her. “Just to compete with you.”
“I was bored and my aunt braided my hair.”
“I like it.”
I’m standing by the side of the Honda Pilot I bought from Harry. I’m about to ask if she at least wants to drive around the block or something when she hands me a note.
“Here,” she says.
“What’s this?”
“It’s for you.”
I look at the piece of paper in my hand.
“You could’ve just sent me a text or an e-mail.”
Marvel smiles. “It’s not the same.”
“Okay.”
“Plus, I wanted you to see my cool T-shirt.”
“It’s pretty cool.”
Marvel looks at me and smiles. There are a thousand beautiful things behind that look. A marvelous sort of ache that only a few people know about. Some miraculous sort of sorrow she’s managed to walk away from.
There are a thousand things I want to say to her.
“Marvel, I—”
A gruff voice calls out her name. From a doorway, a figure stands waiting for her. It’s her uncle.
“I have to go,” she says.
“I know. The next time I see you will be at school.”
“Will you recognize me?”
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“That’s okay. I’ll be hanging around with a guy named Greg.”
“Ooh—that’s mean.”
“It takes me a while to say what I want to say.”
“Really?” I ask with sarcasm. “I didn’t know that.”
“Stop. That’s why—I just wanted to say this to you. Okay?”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Marvel, right now,” her uncle shouts.
Marvel smiles and turns away.
I wave in her direction one more time, then close the door.
I wonder what she’s thinking. I wonder where she’ll be next week. I basically can’t stop thinking of this marvelous, wonderful, awesome, glorious human being.
I get back in the car and drive till I’m a block from my house, then I stop and I unfold the note.
Brandon:
FYI, I really like you.
I’ll tell you a little secret. God told me to go find the most fascinating thing I could find in Appleton. So when I saw the record store, I knew. I didn’t know what—or who—I’d find, but I went inside anyway. The most fascinating thing I found wasn’t the boy behind the counter but the heart residing deep inside of him.
So I’ll tell you another secret. I’m going to borrow that heart. Just for a while.
Be gentle with me. That’s all I ask, Brandon. Especially when things get rough.
And trust me. They will get rough.
See you soon.
Marvel
> It’s late and I can’t sleep. I can’t do much of anything except think about her.
Maybe once school settles in, my routine and life will become normal again. Maybe this summer will be like some sweet camp experience I’ll remember the rest of my life. Maybe I’m just caught up in everything, especially this girl I just met.
Maybe. But I don’t think so.
Maybe Marvel is right about everything. Maybe she did hear from God and maybe she is going to do something incredible and maybe she’s even going to die in the process.
In the darkness of my bedroom, I can see those eyes and that smile. They make me feel lighter and better. They bring joy and light. They’re just plain good for everything. For a world full of darkness and monsters and evil.
Maybe there are monsters out there, but there are also figures standing in between, like Marvel. Sweet, mysterious Marvel. Smiling when she shouldn’t smile anymore. Laughing when all she should be doing is running away. I still don’t totally know this girl—she’s still this dream who came over me and somehow stayed. But I like the dream. I want to stay in the dream.
Maybe I can stand in the way of those monsters, too.
Acknowledgments
Thanks . . .
To Sharon, Kylie, Mackenzie, and Brianna for putting up with me.
To my parents and in-laws for constantly helping us out.
To my extended family, whom I don’t see as much as I’d like to.
To Meg Wallin, for picking up The Solitary Tales and telling me how much you liked them (thus paving the way for you to acquire this series).
To L. B. Norton, for being so very L. B.–esque and making my writing better in every way.
To Claudia Cross, for staying on this writing journey with me.
To NavPress, for taking a chance on a super-big awesome bestseller like me who will break out in 2026.
To Don Pape and David C. Cook, for taking a chance on the above-mentioned teen series.
To the families who have adopted me recently: the Home Run family, the Celebrate Recovery family, the Owens family, the Masterpiece family, and the Rogers family. I love all of you guys and am thankful to be a part of your lives.
And last but not least, to Chris Buckley, who is just finishing up his first year of college and doing well. For now.
Playlists
A FASCINATION STREET PLAYLIST
“Dazzle” by Siouxsie and the Banshees
“Uncertain Smile” by The The
“The One Thing” by INXS
“Sunrise” by New Order
“Long Long Way to Go” by Phil Collins
“Perfect Girl” by The Cure
“Shake the Disease” by Depeche Mode
“Running Up That Hill” by Kate Bush
“Keep It Dark” by Genesis
“Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police
“That Voice Again” by Peter Gabriel
“Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me” by The Smiths
A PLAYLIST FOR MARVEL
“Counting Stars” by OneRepublic
“Relentless” by Hillsong United
“Running to the Sea” by Röyksopp and Susanne Sundfør
“Hemiplegia” by HAERTS
“Stay Awake” by London Grammar
“Free at Dawn” by Small Black
“Mirrors” by Justin Timberlake
“Falling (Committed to Sparkle Motion)” by Discopolis & Axwell
“Denial” by I Break Horses
“Late Night” by Foals
“Bloodflood” by Alt-J
“Come Close Now” by Christa Wells
Marvelous Page 20