As soon as he was gone, Michelle insinuated herself between Jason and me, and her tone became a lot less friendly. “Did you hear that? I’m the one on the line here, so make me look good, and then I can make good things happen for you.”
Jason managed to extricate himself from her grasp. “Then Natalie and I had better start strategizing.” He guided me away from her, and when we were out of earshot, he said to me, “You heard the lady. Come up with something tomorrow. I’m kind of afraid of what she’ll do to me if I fail her.”
I couldn’t help but smirk. “I don’t know, it looks like it might be something you’d enjoy. Assuming you’re into that sort of thing.”
His eyes went wide. “I’m really, really not. Dragon ladies aren’t my type.”
It was probably the champagne loosening my tongue when I asked, “What is your type?”
He regarded me for a moment, long enough to make me feel a little twitchy. At last, he said, “I’m still working that out. Do you think they have food here? They’ve got to have food.”
That broke the tension, and we set out to work our way through the party. Later, we shared a cab home, and it dropped me off first. “Thanks for the lift,” I said as I got out. “See you in the morning.”
He reached for my hand, holding on to it for a second longer than would be expected of someone who was just a work colleague. “Did you have a good time?”
“I did.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. When I forgot to feel guilty about missing the performance, it had been fun experiencing that sort of party as a guest.
“Good. Sleep tight.”
Inside my apartment, I was about to get in bed when I noticed that I was still wearing the sparkly bracelet I’d put on for the party. I started to remove it, but changed my mind and left it on. Maybe that would help me know whether I was dreaming, in case this crazy thing kept going. The next morning, the first thing I did was check my wrist for the bracelet. It wasn’t there. I searched my bed for it and found nothing. A check of my phone told me that it was Thursday. Maybe it had just been a couple of nights of stress that had set off these dreams.
But which Thursday was it? The one in which I was working on the charity account, or the one following the swanky party?
Five
I wasn’t sure which life I was living until I got to work and checked my e-mail. Janet barely acknowledged me as I passed her in the lobby, but she was signing for a package at the time. I didn’t see Jason or Hadley to see how they reacted to me. But when I found an e-mail from Dan, I knew where I stood for the day. The other life may have all been a dream—or this was—but it had been accurate so far, so I thought I might as well use that knowledge.
I headed for Hadley’s cubicle and asked, “Do you have a beneficiary for that Carlton’s charity drive lined up yet?”
She swiveled her chair to face me and eyed me suspiciously. “Why?”
“I have a pro bono project that might be able to use donated goods—a center for teens who’ve aged out of the foster care system, but who aren’t yet ready to be self-sufficient adults. A lot of them are still in high school. They need clothes for school and job interviews. Some of them need housewares, and I’m sure teenagers would love to get a few expensive luxury items. The Ferris Foundation is supporting it, so I figure we could make multiple clients happy at the same time.”
“I’ll think about it and let you know,” she replied, swiveling her chair away from me.
I refrained from telling her, “Be that way,” before I returned to my desk.
Later that day, I went to the Ferris Foundation’s office for our meeting with Tilly. Dan was already there waiting. He was clean shaven and wearing a nice suit, but he still desperately needed a haircut. I sat next to him so we could strategize without being overheard.
“I’ve got a plan, a proposed news release, and a potential donor all ready to go,” I said.
“Then you do the talking and I’ll back you up as needed,” he replied. “Deal?”
“Deal.” We bumped fists and grinned at each other, then both of us jumped when the receptionist told us that Tilly was ready to see us.
Tilly sat behind a huge antique desk in a room lined with bookcases. I couldn’t help but wonder if she read those books or if her decorator bought them by the yard to add gravitas to her office. “I’m so delighted that you’ve got a plan already,” she said after offering us coffee. “I can’t wait to hear it.”
Dan and I exchanged an uncomfortable look before I launched into my prepared presentation. She listened thoughtfully without interrupting, then sat there for quite a while, mulling it over. Finally, she said, somewhat plaintively, “But I liked the idea of Home for the Holidays. It’s so heartwarming. And the name is catchy.”
Trying to sound enthusiastic and upbeat in a way that might be contagious, I said, “But a big family dinner for kids without families is also heartwarming. And more likely to get media attention because all the kids would be in one place.”
“And nobody has to be with strangers,” Dan added, sounding even more morose than usual.
Tilly blinked at that, like she was realizing something. “I hadn’t thought about that part. While it would be fun to welcome someone into your home, it’s not always as much fun being the stranger, is it?”
“No, it’s not,” Dan said, quite decisively. “So you like the idea of the family dinner?”
“And the open house to recruit surrogate families?” I added.
Tilly studied the two of us, still thinking. Then she got a twinkle in her eye, like she’d just come up with a brainstorm. “I think it’s a wonderful idea. You two are so much smarter than I am. You make a good team. Go, do it, and keep me posted.”
Dan and I managed to maintain our professional demeanors as we left her office. Only when we were well clear of the building did I let myself give a little shout of triumph and turn to hug Dan. It was an impulse, but I was surprised when he hugged me back. Then we both realized what we were doing and took a step away from each other. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him, but I felt strangely self-conscious around him.
Trying to return to professional mode, I said, “Well, that went well.”
“Yeah, very well. I can’t believe she went for it.”
“I’ve learned that it’s nearly impossible to convince clients that their big idea won’t work unless you can present an alternative for them to consider.”
“Then I’m glad I’ve got a pro on my side.”
“I’ll find out in the morning if Carlton’s is willing to participate, and then I’ll shoot over the final news release for you to look at. Once that’s settled, I’ll make some press calls.”
“Sounds good.” He started to turn away, paused, seemed to start to say something, hesitated, then said, “It’s probably too late to go back to the office. Well, for you. I live at the office. But, well, maybe we could talk some more about the project over dinner—or drinks, or coffee?”
I would have been tempted if I hadn’t had a gig to get to. There was something so adorable about the vulnerability on his face when he made the offer. “I’d love to, but I can’t. I have something going on tonight, and I’d better hurry so I’m not late. But I will definitely be in touch. You’ll probably be sick of me by Christmas.”
“Oh, yeah, of course. Well, see you soon.” He abruptly turned and walked away before I could respond. I started to go after him, but then I checked my watch and realized that I really didn’t have the time. With a sigh, I hurried away to go to my other job.
That night when I got home, I paused before I got in bed, looking at my wrist, where I remembered leaving a sparkly bracelet in the dream—if this wasn’t the dream. Just to test it out, I tied a ribbon around my wrist before I turned out the light. When I woke the next morning, I was wearing a sparkly bracelet, and it was Thursday. Again.
Six
It went on like that, with me living each day twice, but a different life each day. Or possibly dreaming an al
ternate life every night. If it was a dream, the detail was impressive and weirdly accurate. It was so vivid that I couldn’t distinguish between the dream and reality, so I was never sure which life was real.
On the mornings when I woke wearing the sparkly bracelet, I was working on the Carlton’s account, rushing to make it to my evening gigs, or, more and more often, having to call to cancel. Jason and I were spending a lot of time together, working on the project, but also sharing late-night dinners at the office with Chinese delivery or pizza. He never quite crossed the boundaries of office propriety, but he was quite attentive, looking at me like I was important to him and giving me not-quite-casual little touches.
When I woke wearing the ribbon, I met with Dan at the center during the days and spent my evenings singing. On one of these days, I stood by the wall in the center’s common room, watching a television news crew interview him. He wore the suit he’d had on for our meeting with Tilly, and he came across as more upbeat and polished than I’d have expected. When he finished the interview and the crew set up to interview Dwayne, Dan came to join me.
“How’d I do?” he whispered.
“Pretty good. You were on point with the message and said everything you wanted to get across in a nice, concise way.”
“Now they’ll probably edit it to make me look crazy.”
“It’s always the bright side with you, huh?”
“I get a lot more pleasant surprises that way. And fewer disappointments.”
“You should be fine with this. This is a feel-good piece, not a breaking scandal. If you want a worst-case scenario, then someone will blow something up later today and the piece won’t run at all. More realistically, they’ll distill these interviews into a ten-second piece the anchor will read, with one key detail completely wrong. Anything better than that is a bonus.”
“Really? Okay then. I’m good.” He seemed genuinely pleased, not sarcastic at all. I couldn’t help but laugh softly and shake my head. He was definitely an interesting guy.
When I returned to my office, I was bursting to share my triumph, so I stopped to say to Janet, “Guess who got her client on the evening news? That is, if no one blows anything up.” I groaned. “Yikes, he’s rubbing off on me.”
“Wait, who’s this ‘he’?”
“The client. He’s got this weird optimistic pessimism, like if he’s braced for the worst, then everything will be a pleasant surprise, no matter how bad it is.”
“Sounds like working with Eeyore.”
“Kind of. But he’s really not that bad once you get used to him. And on the upside, it’s easy to please a client with low expectations.”
I got back to my desk and sat down to check my messages. Hadley came to stand in my doorway, looking smug. “How’s the pro bono work going?” she asked.
“I had a news crew from Channel Seven there today.”
“Nice. You did get a mention in for Carlton’s, didn’t you?”
“He mentioned it in the interview, and it was in the news release. I can’t guarantee that they’ll use it on the air.”
“I’ll be sure to mention it Saturday night at the party.”
“The party? Another Carlton mansion bash?”
“No, a charity gala at the Plaza. Mr. Carlton bought a table and invited Jason, and Jason’s taking me.”
I tried not to let my panic show. I’d be singing at that gala, which meant my secret would be out. I didn’t know if having a second job was specifically against company policy, but I doubted it would look good. Fortunately, Hadley would have had to actually be paying attention to me to notice anything amiss, so she didn’t note my reaction. It took me a few breaths before I could speak. “Oh, that sounds like lots of fun.” My smile felt like a death rictus, but Hadley still didn’t seem able to tell that anything was wrong.
“I’m sure it will be,” she said before sashaying away.
I lunged for my phone, dialed Alicia, and got her voice mail. Into the phone, I said, softly so it wouldn’t carry within the office, “I may have a problem with Saturday night. Call me. It’s urgent.”
I hadn’t yet disconnected the call when the intercom on my desk phone buzzed. Reg’s voice said, “Natalie? Can I see you in my office?”
I hurried to end my call before saying, “I’m on my way.”
I didn’t wait to get entirely in his office before sharing my news. “I had a crew from Channel Seven down at the Ferris Center. The piece is supposed to air tonight. Tilly should be happy.”
“Great! Good work. Would you mind shutting the door? And then have a seat.” I was a little taken aback, since Reg never closed his office door, but I followed his directions. “I have to say, this is the most enthusiastic I’ve seen you about a client in ages,” he said once I’d taken my seat.
“It’s easy to be enthusiastic about a good cause like this. I guess it’s more immediate than dealing with a corporation.”
“Unfortunately, corporations are our bread and butter. Your heart really isn’t in this business, is it?” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but he didn’t seem to be waiting for a response. “Come on, I can tell. To get ahead in this business, you have to be as cutthroat as Hadley, and I don’t think you have it in you.”
My voice shaking, I said, “Are you saying you have a problem with my work?”
“The work you do is good, but you don’t really put yourself out there to take on more work. I haven’t ever seen you volunteer for an account team. I laid out the Carlton account for you on a silver platter, and you let Hadley take it out from under your nose. You see, the thing is, I’m having to make some cuts, and you’re the employee I could lose almost painlessly. Your workload is small and minor enough to spread it around to the rest of the staff.”
“So I’m being fired?”
“Let’s call it laid off—a reduction in force. You’ll get severance pay and you’ll be eligible for unemployment. It’ll be effective at the end of the month, but since you don’t have a lot to do, you can just leave today and get the rest of the holiday season off.”
“But what about the project I’m working on?”
“We’re not making any money on it, and you already got the press coverage. That’s about all Tilly can expect. Now, there’s some paperwork you’ll need to do in HR, and then maybe you’ll want to wait until after hours to clean out your desk so you won’t have an audience.”
I couldn’t hold back a bitter laugh as I stood. “If I have to wait until people are all gone from this place, I’ll never be able to leave.” Then I thought again and made myself face him, reaching out my hand to shake his. “Thank you. It doesn’t feel like it now, but I have a feeling you’ve just done me the biggest favor you could ever imagine.”
When I stepped out of the elevator in the lobby, my tote bag slung over my shoulder and a cardboard box in my arms, Janet looked at me in alarm. “You’re not leaving us, are you?”
“Not entirely by choice.”
“They let you go?”
“Yeah.”
“Right before Christmas?” The outrage in her voice was gratifying. At least someone cared.
Trying to put a brave face on it, I said, “I get paid to the end of the month, so it’s more like I’m getting an extra-long holiday.”
“Now you can focus on your music.”
“That’s how I’m trying to look at it.”
She took a card out of the business card holder on her desk and scribbled something on it, then stood and dropped it into my box. “Stay in touch and let me know how things work out for you. I’d love to hear you sing sometime.”
“Are you doing anything tomorrow night?”
“No, why?”
“We’re singing at Bryant Park, by the ice rink. You should come and bring your little one.”
My cell phone rang, but my hands were full, so I couldn’t take the call. Janet reached out and took the box from me so I could grab my phone. It was Alicia. “I got your message. What’s up?”
>
“Can you come over to my place? We need to talk.”
“Yeah. When?”
“About half an hour?”
“Sure. I’ll be there.”
I ended the call and put the phone away, then took my box back from Janet. “Thanks. I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Good luck, and do keep in touch!”
Alicia arrived not long after I got home, and she didn’t wait for a greeting before she headed inside after I opened the door. “Okay, so what’s up? What’s the problem with Saturday? You didn’t have some work thing come up, did you?”
“I don’t think work things will be an issue anymore. I got laid off right after I left that message for you.”
Alicia did a fist pump of triumph and let out a whoop of joy. “Yes! My prayers have been answered!”
“You prayed that I’d lose my job?”
“I prayed that you’d get some help making a decision about your life. And now it’s been made for you. Was that why you called me?”
I sank onto the sofa. “No, I learned that right after I left the message.”
“Then what did you need to tell me?”
“I learned that people from work will be at the gala Saturday night.”
“So? That’s a moot point now. It’s not like they can fire you for moonlighting if they’ve already let you go.”
“I think it’s worse now. It’ll be weird having them see me again when I’m wearing a hoopskirt.”
“Why? You look really cute in it. It makes your waist look tiny.”
“That’s not the point. It’s just that seeing my other life would probably change the way they see me.”
“Why should you care? And won’t it show them that you don’t need them? You’ll be fine.”
“But what will I do now that I’ve lost my job?” I tried not to whine, but I was afraid I sounded a little plaintive.
“Sing, of course. We’re booked up for the rest of the month. Some of us have been taking some side gigs during the daytime, and we can open those to you. With you, we can field a couple of quartets, even do a girl group, and believe it or not, we’re still getting calls. And then there’s a jazz festival we can do in January. I need to call the others and let them know.” She sounded awfully excited about my bad news.
Twice Upon a Christmas Page 4