“They are your parents; of course you love them. That will never change. I won’t take your father’s place in your heart, but I would like it if you could find a small corner for me too, someday.”
“And what of Kassandre? Where is she in all of this?”
“If she could be here, she would.”
“You gave me away! Who does that?”
“It was the hardest thing either of us has ever done in our many thousands of years.”
“I remember you. You gave me away before you were supposedly assassinated.”
“What do you remember?” His eyes grew wide. “We stopped visiting when we thought you were still too young to remember.”
“I don’t know if it’s a memory or a vision, but I was three years old, running on the beach with Lily and Carson, but you and Kassandre were there too, walking in the distance. I ran after you, but you left me!”
“You think we wanted to? We lost one daughter we never knew. We could hardly face it, losing another. If we had raised you, Allie, you would have never had a chance to be the girl you are now. You know what your mother can do—she sees, Allie, she sees everything. We’ve seen your life a thousand different ways, but this was the only version that kept you safe and happy. This was the only version of your life that made sense. We gave you up to give you a better life—”
“To grow up completely ignorant of what I am? So many years? Thinking something was wrong with me! I wasn’t happy. I just … existed, going through the motions of life with little to look forward to and no one who understood me. And then going into an Awakening like that with no idea what was happening?” She took a deep, shuddering breath, forcing her anger back down.
“In this life you will know great sorrow and immeasurable joy. It is worth every sacrifice we’ve made to give you that chance. I cannot give you all the answers you deserve right now, but I promise you will have them in time. Just know that every decision that was made for you was meant to give you the strength and experience you need to face what you must.”
“That damned prophecy?”
“Yes—but the recorded version is false. Your grandmother, Alísun, foretold that prophecy and she knew it would be her own granddaughter to fulfill it. She is the only one who knows the true prophecy. The women of your family have been protecting you for thousands of years, Allie.
“Enough.” She stood to pace. “I don’t want to hear any more—not now.” She took a deep, calming breath. She was in control, but only just.
“It is not safe for me to linger here for long, even in this remote edge of the dreamworld,” Navid said. “If my secret is discovered, I could lose this opportunity to see you and I will not risk your safety simply because it is my deepest desire for my daughter to know me as more than just a family friend. To see her beautiful face—so like her mother’s. To watch her grow into her potential. To have the honor to teach her … to hold her and comfort her when she is upset. I cannot give you the time you deserve, but if you want to see me—if you want to know and learn from me—then we can meet here briefly from time to time, but you must open your mind. Keeping yourself locked up so tightly is only contributing to that rage you feel burning in your core.”
“How will I know when you’ll be here? How can I come here on my own?”
“You wish to see me again?” His green eyes brightened.
“I am angry, Navid. I feel so much anger, directed at everyone and everything around me, but I want to know my father.” She choked on the last word.
“Allie.” He pulled her into his arms and she sobbed on his shoulder. “Deep breaths, sweetheart.”
She’d never felt so close to the edge like this. She had to pull it together before she totally lost it.
“To come here alone, you must study the path that leads you here. As you fall into the world of dreams, focus and you will see. Come alone for now. But you must confide in Aidan. You need someone you trust. Share your secrets with him.”
“I can tell him? About you?”
“Tell him everything, but you must do so in absolute privacy. You cannot risk letting anyone overhear you, but you can’t shoulder the weight of this burden all on your own, either. Keep your mind open to him and I will hear you. I can speak to your mind, although it is difficult, and costs a great deal of strength to do so. When you have need of me, do not hesitate to reach out. I will hear you if you hold on to a thought with me in mind, but I may not always be able to answer. And when you enter the world of dreams, do not ever leave your own dreamscape. This is very important, Allie. This world is infinite and it is very easy to get lost here when you are not a dreamwalker. It could drive you mad if you found yourself trapped in someone else’s dreamscape.”
“How can I come here like this if I’m not a dreamwalker?” Allie asked.
“Because you are my daughter. This is your heritage from me. It doesn’t make you a dreamwalker, but it makes you more susceptible to this world. It is part of you.”
“Is it safe for Aidan to come here with me?”
“He has an affinity for telepathy, so he is able to travel here safely with another telepath, although I don’t think he could manage it on his own. As long as you come here just as you always have, you both will be perfectly safe. But do not speak of this place to your teachers. Not yet. Emma Renard is your mentor, yes?”
Allie nodded.
“She is a formidable woman with a dark past, but you will learn a great deal from her. I could not find you a better example of a woman capable of great ruthlessness as well as great compassion. She may caution you about entering the dreamworld, but she won’t know enough about it to teach you.”
“When can I see you again?”
“We must be cautious, daughter. I will leave a sign for you here and we will see each other again soon. I am delighted you even want to see me.”
“I can’t say there won’t be more screaming, but I need to know you. I need to understand everything happening around me. This is my life, Navid. I can’t have other people deciding my fate for me. Not anymore.”
“I will teach you everything you need to know about the choices we’ve made for you. But you are doing remarkably well, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.”
She could feel him slipping away and was reluctant to let him go. No matter how angry she was, she still loved him, just as she always had when she knew him only as a family friend.
“Goodbye for now?”
“For now.” Navid pulled her back into his embrace and she faded away from the world of dreams.
I love you, my beautiful daughter.…
Her father’s words echoed through her mind.
“Allie, wake up. Please.” Aidan’s warm hand clasped tightly around hers as her eyes fluttered open. Her cheeks were wet with tears. “I came as soon as felt you freaking out. What have you seen?”
“Your music room, in the underground—it’s soundproofed, right?”
“Yes. Darius sealed it himself.”
“Take me there? I’m ready to talk. My thoughts are a jumbled mess right now and I just ... I need to get it all out before I can really let you back in.”
“Let’s go.”
~~~
CHAPTER
ELEVEN
“What’s going on, Allie? You’re scaring me.” Aidan closed the door to his studio behind them and Allie headed to the surround sound system, hoping some music would drown out their voices in case someone happened to overhear them.
“We’re safe here, Lex. No one will hear us. Now, please—”
“I’m a natural born,” she blurted.
“What? How?”
“The usual way, I suppose.” She managed a wry smile. “That's what Gregg told me before we left for Agra this summer.”
“How did he know?”
“It seems he suspected who my real parents were, but wasn’t certain enough to say anything … until I told him Livia was interested in me because of my necklace.” She remembered the way Gregg ha
d looked at her necklace—the one Lily had given her years ago. It was a family heirloom, only she hadn’t realized Lily meant it was from her birth family.
“Who are they? How did he know them?” he asked, but Allie held up her hand to stall his questions.
“Your father and my mother lived as husband and wife for nearly a century before my mother recognized my father.”
“Jeez, Da.” Aidan winced. “It seems he’s been friendly with all my friends’ moms. Come on, I have a feeling this is going to be a long night. We might as well get comfortable.” He grabbed Allie’s hand and towed her to the bedroom, the soft, soothing music still playing.
Allie made herself at home. The night sky twinkling down on them barely registered as a reminder that Naomi had been there.
“Now spill it,” Aidan said as he draped his arm around her and she relaxed for the first time in hours. “How did you end up with Lily and Carson if you’re a natural born?”
“My birth parents chose them to raise me. My mother knew they would die and she knew I wouldn’t be safe, so she hid me in the mortal world.” Allie propped up on her elbow and looked down at him, fearful of the thing she was about to divulge. “Can I trust you?”
“You know better than to even ask that question.” He scowled.
“Can I trust you with my mortal family’s lives?”
“Nothing you say will leave this room tonight. No matter what.”
“Lily and Carson know far more about me than I’ve ever let on.”
“What? How? It isn’t safe for them.”
In that moment, she loved Aidan for worrying about their safety before anything else.
“We’ve danced around the issue occasionally, but they know … at least a little of what I am. There is so much about myself and my past that I don’t understand, but I do know my intuition is something I trust and my intuition has always told me to keep them out of it—to keep them safe. So we ignore the giant, pink, tap-dancing elephant in the room and pretend everything is peachy.”
“Allie—I’m so sorry.” He reached up and brushed her hair aside, cupping her face in his palm.
“We make up trivial things to talk about so we’ll have something to say to each other.” She shrugged. “It’s depressing.”
“How did your birth parents die?”
“Our world thinks they were assassinated nearly fourteen years ago.” She could see the reality of what she said dawning in his eyes.
“No.” He turned toward her, propping up on his elbow to face her. “It’s impossible, Lex. They had a natural daughter centuries ago.”
“Yeah, and then they had me too.” She stared into his dark, worry-filled eyes.
“A second natural daughter?” His worry turned to fear in the span of a heartbeat.
“My maternal grandmother was Queen Alísun.” Her voice shook and she couldn’t look at him, so she stared down at his chest instead. She absently ran her fingertips through the short tufts of chest hair he never bothered manscaping.
“The prophecy?”
“It seems she foretold of my birth and recorded a false version to keep me safe.”
Aidan pulled her against his chest, murmuring words of comfort, but she could feel his anger and his fear—and his relief, too, that the prophecy wasn’t about him.
“How could he keep this from you?” he finally said. “How could Dad let you continue thinking any of this was just chance?”
“Believe me, your dear ol’ da is on my list. But I think he was in denial. Gregg loves me like a daughter; he thought he was protecting me—waiting until he was sure. The necklace was the final clue. It’s hers.” Allie lifted the teardrop pendant from the chain around her neck. The sparkling black stones caught the light from the stars above them and the worn serpentine loop snaked around the teardrop in a figure eight.
“Allie, you’re like … royalty.”
“Screw that, Aidan Loukas,” she snarled, shoving him back.
“Certainly not a well-mannered princess,” he said dryly. “You would be the closest thing we have to true nobility. People would freak if they knew you were Kassandre and Ashar’s natural daughter. They would flock to you like royalty for that alone. If they knew about your connection to the Indriell Queens … you’d never have another moment’s peace.”
“I trust you won't treat me differently.” The tone of reverence in Aidan’s voice was not something she could take from him. “I swear, I will throat-punch you right here if you don’t snap out of it!”
“You’re still Allie and I’m still Aidan.” He laughed. “You know I will never treat you differently where I can help it. But you are different. Your identity has to remain a secret. It isn’t safe for you—and that will always worry me.”
“People are protecting me, Aidan—have been protecting me and watching over me my whole life.”
“Who?” He frowned.
“My birth parents,” she whispered. “They’re alive.”
“What—how?” he gasped.
“I don’t know how they faked their death … but I-I've known my father most of my life. I always thought he was just a friend of the family. I-I’m not sure about my mother—I think she might not have made it through the assassination attempt unscathed. She must have been taken.”
“You’ve met Ashar?”
“I know him as Navid. It was such a shock when Gregg showed me a picture of my parents. He did it to show me how much I look like my mother, but I couldn’t take my eyes off my father. Gregg doesn’t know. No one can know, but Navid told me I could confide in you—he said I needed to.”
“When? Is he here? Have you seen him?”
“There's a reason I’m a telepath. I inherited it from him.”
“Ashar was— is a telepath?”
“A dreamwalker, actually. He can only speak to me directly with a great deal of effort. He’s spoken to me a few times. Once during my Awakening and then again when Quinn and I were taken. The last time he spoke to me was when Gregg dropped this bomb on me. Since then, I’ve kept my mind locked tight against you, but against him as well. Not on purpose. I was just … licking my wounds, I suppose.” Allie heaved a deep sigh. It felt so good to finally let it all out.
“These last few months, I’ve been so angry,” she said softly, staring up at the twinkling sky above them. “My whole life has been a lie and there he was, all this time, with all the answers. But I need him—there’s so much I have to know.”
“He’s a dreamwalker? So that’s why you wanted me to leave. He came to you there? Ash––Navid?” Aidan’s brow creased in frustration.
She nodded. “We didn’t have long, but we talked. He didn’t have a lot of answers, but I think he will in time.”
“Are you sure you’re okay, Allie?” He turned to face her with a look of concern. “That’s a lot to take in.”
They lay there quietly for a moment in the dim light of the twinkling stars.
“No … but this helps.” She smiled, but her smile wavered. She was so comfortable with him and there was no doubt their relationship was changing—had been changing since Agra. If the intimacy between them continued to escalate, she would either have to break his heart or take a leap of faith. But right now, she didn’t want to put a label on whatever this was.
Aidan absently stoked her hair and kissed her forehead and Allie shoved all of her conflicting emotions into that slightly smaller box in her mind. For the moment, an immense burden had lifted from her shoulders.
“My mother is clairvoyant.”
“An understatement from what I know of her,” Aidan said.
“Navid says they saw hundreds of different versions of my life and this is the one they chose for me.”
“So they’ve manipulated every aspect of your life? That must be a tough pill to swallow.”
“Knowing that my own parents gave me away and strategically planned every moment of my life.… I’m so angry, Aidan. I’ve never felt such rage. My anger scares me.” She held
up her hands so he could see the faded crescent-shaped scabs on her palms. “I feel like I’m losing control of everything—especially my power.”
“That’s not a good sign.” He frowned, tracing the lines on her palm with his fingertip. “We need to work on that.”
“Liam’s been helping me—since the whole Vince thing.”
“You’ve had a shitty few months, Lex.”
She wasn’t sure why she did it; she didn’t even think about it. It felt so natural to tilt her head back, letting her lips find his.
She felt his surprise, but he quickly got over that as his hand slid down to her waist. His other tangled in her hair. The minty, earthy taste of his scent filled her senses. His lips were soft but demanding as they moved over hers.
For once, she refused to think about the consequences. Tonight, she needed his comfort.
Do not overthink this, Lex.
No strings?
It’s just a kiss.
Promise?
Alexis Ann … shut up and kiss me.
~~~
CHAPTER
TWELVE
She shouldn’t have kissed him. She kept telling herself she shouldn’t have kissed him. But over the last week, Allie couldn’t think about anything but that kiss.
It can’t happen again. But she was struggling to remember all of her perfectly reasonable arguments for why kissing Aidan was such a bad idea when it felt so damned right.
The night was late and the music was soothing as Allie attempted to read her book.
Aidan dozed, his bare chest warm and distracting against her back. His lips pressed against her shoulder and his hands began to wander … again.
I am, without a doubt, the biggest dumbass ever. Hands, Aidan!
You have a lovely ass, baby, he murmured sleepily.
Aidan.…
Sorry, my hands seem to have a mind of their own. He pulled away.
You are here in a keep-the-dreams-away capacity. If we are back at intimacy issues, then you might need to go find your own bed for a while. The thought of facing her dreams alone sent a shiver of fear through her.
“It’s much more difficult now that you’re single.” He rolled over onto his back with a stretch. “But I will not shirk my dream duties.”
Emerge: The Judgment: (Book 2) Page 8