by K W Quinn
“Cass—”
“Just do it. No more words. I don’t trust anything you say.”
She opened her eyes, and he held her gaze. He wanted her to look him in the eye while she betrayed him. He wanted her to regret this for the rest of her life. Would it hurt? Min had said it would be the worst pain of his life, but his broken heart already hurt more than he could imagine.
She lifted the knife and held it up to his chest, resting the tip gently against his sternum. The wind that pulled him also tugged at her hair. She was beautiful and dangerous. He took a deep breath, letting his expanding chest press against the blade.
He knew this was insane. Petty. Melodramatic. But he was tired of everyone pulling his strings. Min. Charly. Fate. He would control this. And soulless, he would lead the revolution and let Andy live happily ever after with Dez someday.
“Do it,” he repeated. Even to his own ears, his voice was cold. He didn’t have the energy to stay angry. It had all burned out in a flash. He was just tired.
Her hands shook harder. She drew back the knife, sucking in a breath. Cass scrunched his eyes up tight and waited. So much for looking her in the eyes. He did still fear pain. He waited.
The clank of metal on the porch and the sound of footsteps popped his eyes open. Reyah was running, her braid flying behind her.
The blade gleamed dully at his feet.
“Why didn’t we do this in the first place?” Andy asked as he loaded bags into the van.
“Because things are different and messier now, and I would appreciate it if you would just, you know, I don’t know, get in the car.”
Charly was frazzled. He paced back and forth between the vehicles.
“On the move was safest when you were being chased,” Amel explained. “Now stationary is better, but here isn’t. We need more protection. Art has what we need.” He didn’t take his eyes off his checklist. “Charly, did you get the—oh, thanks.”
“You, at least, should trust me,” Charly said, moving a leather case into the back seat of their car.
“I do. Just checking,” Amel mumbled and moved off to check on other things.
“He worries too much,” Charly said. Andy bit his tongue.
“But Charly, if she left, why are we running away?”
“We’re not running from her. We actually need her to come back. But if we’re trying to build a Mistwalker, it’s going to attract notice. The poor coast has had so much strange weather, I’d be surprised if somebody hasn’t noticed by now. We don’t need that attention, so we’re heading to the mountains. You’ll love it. Very picturesque. You can take long walks. It’ll remind you of home.”
“Just what I needed,” Andy said with an eye roll. “Cass agreed to this?”
“He didn’t object,” Charly said carefully.
“I couldn’t get him to say much to me either,” Andy agreed. “He gets like this sometimes. Inside his own head. He’ll be fine after he’s thought it all out.”
“I hope so. He’s our best chance of success in this lifetime.” Charly sighed. “This whole thing is unfair.”
“Can our moms come too? Can’t Cass’s mom help him learn how to do stuff?” Hope bubbled up in his chest, burning the back of his throat. It left his mouth feeling like ash when Charly shook his head.
“She has some skill, but she’s not strong enough. If we wanted to grow a garden, I’d welcome her assistance. However, we need drought and famine. Her talent will be better used back in Hutchings, warning neighbors. They already trust her.”
“But isn’t she a fugitive too? How is that safe?”
“Complicated layers of glamours and some Spelled objects that make her unrecognizable unless she reveals herself,” Charly said, chest lifted with pride. “She has plans to contact the son of the Mountain, who is apparently deeply involved in the uprooting of the Conglomerate already. They’ll be safe.”
“They’d better be,” Andy grumbled and climbed into the van. A map lay across the dashboard, and Cass stared out the window.
“You ready? Amel is doing his fifth check of his list, but Charly’s ready to get moving.” Andy waited until Cass nodded before turning the ignition. “I hope this Art guy has a TV. What is it with revolutionaries and their refusal to engage in the delights of pop culture? We’re like six episodes behind on all our shows.”
Cass refused to comment. Andy swallowed the rest of his mild grumbling. He’d have to wait this sulk out. Cass had every right to be upset. Andy was still pissed, and he wasn’t the one in love with the traitor.
Eventually, Cass turned from the window and stared out the windshield. “I’m an idiot,” he said finally.
“For so many reasons,” Andy answered. “Which are you referring to now?”
Cass rolled his eyes and brushed shaggy hair off his forehead. It fell right back into his eyes, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I barely knew her.”
“True.” Andy kept his eyes on the road. Cass was like a startled deer or frightened rabbit at times like these. Direct eye contact was too risky. Andy remained calm and steady.
“I didn’t know her at all.”
“Apparently also true. She fooled us.”
“So many people need me.”
“You need you, too, though. Don’t forget that part.” Andy gripped the wheel tightly.
“I don’t know what I need.”
“Well, there are some conflicting opinions on that,” Andy said slowly. “I think you need a snack, a nap, and several uninterrupted hours of video games.”
Cass didn’t respond, and Andy waited before trying again.
“Do you want to be a part of all this? Dez and Amel and all of the revolutionary stuff?” Andy watched Cass out of the corner of his eye and caught a tentative nod. “Do you want to change the weather?”
For the first time all day, Cass showed some hint of his normal brightness. “Honestly, if I could, that would be amazing. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to reach up and shape clouds.”
“So, there’s that part. A silver lining?”
“But be the tool of the revolution? The crucial secret weapon? Some crazy-rare Chosen One out to save the world? No. I don’t want to do that at all. I want the world to be better, but I don’t think I can be the one to make it better.”
Andy nodded and watched the road for several miles. “It’s a lot to ask of you. A big sacrifice. Especially if the witches are right, and it requires you to give up your soul. We’ve been trying to avoid doing that exact thing this whole time.”
Cass shrugged. “I already gave it up for you.”
“Yeah, but you thought you could get out of it. And how many people are gonna put a claim on your soul? I’m still mad that you made that deal in the first place. Thankful, of course. It obviously benefited me, but Cass, you’re worth more than you give yourself credit for.”
Cass smiled and shook his hair out of his face again, the tip of his tongue coming out to wet his lips. “You’re the best,” he said quietly.
“Of course I am. Can’t live without me,” Andy bragged.
“Wouldn’t want to,” Cass answered.
“Never have to,” Andy replied.
Reyah followed from as great a distance as she could manage. She couldn’t let him go. Even as much as she’d failed, she still couldn’t do that. Besides, she’d abandoned her soul blade, and that was unforgivable. If nothing else, she had to get that back.
She’d texted Tarone, letting him know the job was done and asking for a break before the next assignment. He had agreed without pushing, which was a welcome deviation from his normal hovering. She’d figure out what to tell Min later.
The autumn chill became crisp and sharp, biting at her hands and face when she stopped to refuel. On the road, she focused on the trail of her magic. Only that. Not the cold look on Cass’s face. Not the rage in his eyes as he pressed himself against the blade. Not the trembling in her hands and her convictions as she ran away.
She was a
coward who couldn’t finish the job. She would be stripped of her uniform and title. She’d go right back to being little Reyah Doryu, the freak. Tarone would be disappointed. Not even he could save her from this disgrace.
She only had skills for this one job. And if Cass was who everyone thought he was, she wouldn’t be able to do that job anymore. She’d be an outcast along with all the other Sharks and Dragons. Part of her didn’t mind that, though, which only brought more shame.
What else was she fit to do? Abandon her career to travel with Dez, dancing and breathing fire with Cass and Andy? She sighed at how unreasonably attractive the idea sounded. With her Dragon earnings, she could help support them as they made their way. A patron of sorts. They were a good team. It had been such a pleasant lie to live.
Low, wispy fog started to gather beneath the trees, making the landscape look as lonely and empty as she felt. She shook her head. She had to get out of this mindset. She turned on the radio, searching for some bright, meaningless pop song to take her mind off things, but even the radio was conspiring against her. Melancholy ballads and forlorn love songs were punctuated by static and economic talk shows. She turned the radio off in disgust.
She was disgusted with everything, but herself most of all. What she couldn’t decide was if she was more disgusted with failing as Reyah or as Kaida.
Sacrifice
“You sure you won’t eat?” Charly asked for about the seventh time.
“I’m not hungry, but thanks.” Cass nodded to Art, a tall, bearded man in cliché plaid. He had a face like the side of a mountain, but he’d greeted Charly and Amel with a warm smile and many hugs.
Cass wandered the grounds of Art’s homestead. The house sat in a small clearing surrounded by trees and rocky outcroppings. Cass stepped around rocks and logs, watching little puddles of fog part and congeal in his wake. The mountains were rougher here, unpolished. The valley at home had been scrubbed and sterilized to make it fit for Conglomerate business. This place was raw and wild. Healthy in a way he hadn’t realized his valley wasn’t.
He sent tiny tendrils of Air ahead of him to create swirls in the fog that hugged the trees. It made him smile a little. It was a neat trick. He’d like to show Kaida.
Reyah. His face fell. He couldn’t adjust to her new name. New nature. He felt her absence like a line of fire, burning where she should be. It was awful and ridiculous and totally overreacting. He’d had lots of crushes before, experienced rejection, and been cheated on. Nothing had ever felt like this. She’d been the best and worst he’d ever experienced.
He kicked a log, but it hurt his toes more than it helped his frustration. Anger rattled inside him. Her betrayal only hurt more the longer he thought about it. Had any of her smiles been real? Had everything she’d told him been a lie? Did he know who he was in love with?
He pulled out the blade she’d dropped, fingers lingering where hers had rested. He hadn’t wanted to take it out where others could see, and he wasn’t sure why. He never kept secrets from Andy, but he was worried someone might try to take it away.
Cass needed to hold it. The physical reminder of his pain helped him focus. If he was going to get past this and make himself useful, then he needed this. To cope.
The world wouldn’t wait for him to finish his moping. It needed this revolution. He wanted it too. He just didn’t want to be the one to lead it. He wasn’t a leader. He was gullible and had fallen for the very person he was supposed to be avoiding.
A pile of rocks ahead looked vaguely chair-like, so he sat. He spun the blade in his hands. It wasn’t very sharp. The tip was worn, and he pressed it against his finger experimentally. Nothing happened. The amount of force needed to drive it into his chest the way she’d planned was hard to imagine. He lifted it and held it up to a low, golden sunbeam peeking through the trees. It didn’t shine or catch the light.
Cass wanted to throw it off a cliff. He wanted to bury it to the hilt in a tree. He wanted to shatter it and scatter the pieces. He also wanted to hold it forever, because it had been hers.
The world was waiting for him to give in to his supposed destiny. He still didn’t believe he was that special. Even if he was, was he ready or able to take on the huge responsibility? Who would trust him with that? He was built to be beautiful and insignificant. Reyah had made him feel more than that. That had to be real, didn’t it? Whatever her purpose or path, there was something real in the way she looked at him. He felt it in his soul. His traitorous, twice-claimed soul.
How was he supposed to give up his soul? Did he have to cut it out himself? Where would it go? He lifted the blade and held it against his sternum. It was an awkward angle, so he switched his grip until he could hold it with both hands. It felt lighter than it should. He pressed it gently against his chest, breathing deeply. He remembered the look on her face before he’d given in to fear and closed his eyes.
“Cass, no!”
He lifted his eyes to the sound. Reyah was sprinting at him, jumping fallen branches and rocks.
“What are you doing?” Reyah hissed, reaching for her blade. She could feel her heart pounding in her fingers and hear the blood rushing in her ears. Fear like she’d never known had pushed her through the woods.
Cass twisted away, putting the blade behind him. “What are you doing?”
“Saving your life at the moment.” She tried to catch her breath, but a lump in her throat made it impossible.
“So you can effectively kill me later?” he scoffed.
“No, right now, I’m focused on this moment, when you were about to make a very dumb and ineffective suicide attempt.” Angry was better than scared. Angry felt in control.
“That wasn’t . . .” he sputtered. “I wasn’t . . .” Cass looked around at the trees suspiciously. “Were you following us?”
“Yeah. You’re still my responsibility.” She crossed her arms. She needed to resist the urge to touch him.
“Oh, right. How nice.” Cass crossed his arms too.
“And that’s my blade.”
Cass threw it at her feet. “Here. Now you can go.”
“I can’t actually. I need—”
“I don’t want to hear it. Really. I have too many people needing too much from me right now. I need for you to not need anything from me right now.” His voice was sharp, and it hurt Reyah to see him in so much pain. To be so much a part of his pain.
She bent to pick up the blade, giving herself a moment to figure out what to say. “I don’t know what to . . . I don’t have any excuse, Cass.”
“I know.”
“I don’t want this job anymore, but I took the contract. I can’t give it back. I don’t want to do this, but I don’t know how to be anything else,” she explained.
“So how does it work?” he asked, staring at the blade in her hands.
“I don’t know anymore,” she sighed. She tugged her braid and mentally ran through her training. How the blood and ash was she going to finish this job now? How would she deal with the fallout if she couldn’t? How long could she stay a Dragon either way?
“But I have to give up my soul to reach my potential and access my new talents,” Cass sneered. “I’m supposed to surrender. Well, I give up. I give in and give up, and I want to quit. I’m tired.” He slumped against the rocks.
Reyah sat next to him. She listened to the forest and pushed aside all the swirling thoughts that had her tangled up in knots. Breathing deeply, she closed her eyes and sifted down to the basics of this whole flaming mess.
The beginning. “You sold your soul for your best friend. Would you start a revolution for him too?” She opened her eyes and blinked at the bright glow of his soul. It flickered and dimmed, but in between, it was so bright.
Cass shook his head. “I don’t know if I can.”
“But if you could. If you knew that you could end the tyranny and make things better.” It was the question she’d asked herself over and over. “For Andy. For yourself. Would you? If you knew you co
uldn’t fail, would you do it?”
“Of course. I want all of that. I want my mom to be free. I want Mama Yana to be free to leave her flaming worthless husband. I want things to be better.” Cass chewed on his bottom lip.
“If I could help you with that, would you let me?” Reyah asked quietly.
Cass looked up at her, his large eyes dark and deep. She felt the familiar flutter in her stomach. The particular, Cass-caused flutter. Being so close to him when he was awake had a way of messing with her heartbeat.
“Reyah,” he said, and she absolutely did not swoon at the sound of her actual name in his husky voice. “Reyah, I don’t know how to fight this.” He blinked slowly, and Reyah wasn’t sure which this he meant, but she didn’t know how to fight him, either.
He stood suddenly, reaching for her hand and pulling her up to face him. “I’m serious. I need you to do this. I don’t know why, but there have been too many coincidences for any of this to be wrong. Charly says I have to give up my soul to the cause to reach my potential. I don’t think I’m the right person for this job, but I’m the only one there is. For the revolution. For Andy and my mom and his mom and for . . .” He paused and swallowed hard. “For you, Reyah.”
They were face-to-face, nearly nose-to-nose, his long, slender fingers wrapped around her wrist. Could he feel her heart beating so wildly? Would she be able to hold the blade this time? He lifted her wrist, bringing the blade with it. He folded his hand over hers and pressed it to his heart.
“For you,” he whispered.
She trembled but nodded, staring into his eyes. Had she ever noticed how beautiful they were? Like whiskey and amber, framed by his dark lashes. His mouth turned up at the corners, the ghost of a smile, and he nodded back. He closed his eyes, but gently this time. No more tension left.
She knew this was the job. She knew what she had to do. Everything pointed to this moment, even if she couldn’t understand how the voluntary surrender of his soul was any different than cutting it out. There was a bigger picture at work, and she had to trust Fate. Everyone else was. What else was left at this point?