Coates held Adam’s gaze. “You’re like a fish. You want to evolve, to climb onto the land, but the ocean won’t let go of you so easily. The currents of your past would sooner destroy you than let you go free.” Coates smiled again to soften the ominous warning. “Sooner or later, you’ll have to face them. Please accept my gift of the powerful wish that you survive. Carry that with you, along with your own.”
CHAPTER 23
BURIED IN YOUR HEART
Adam woke in an unfamiliar bed. Disoriented, he looked around. The room was not much bigger than a walk-in closet, with nothing in it but the bed, a bedside table, and a chair by a window. Something about the chair disturbed Adam. It was an ordinary old chair with a woven wicker seat and a high, straight back, but set by the window all alone it looked sad to Adam. A steaming mug had been set on the bedside table. When Adam took a sip, he was immediately reminded of where he was. Beatrice, sailing up the coast, the cabin in the woods, meeting Virgil Coates, our conversation by the campfire.
Adam dressed and, after a quick visit to a bathroom at the end of the hallway, made his way downstairs.
The main room looked emptier. Most of the boxes and furniture had been moved out. All that remained was that elusively familiar smell. Adam heard talking from the back porch where the night before he had followed the older man out to the fire. Moving closer to the screen door, Adam recognized Beatrice’s voice.
Beatrice and her father were sitting in lawn chairs, drinking coffee, facing away from Adam toward a breathtaking mountain view. Just beyond the charred remains of last night’s fire, the redwoods descended down the near hillside into a massive valley beyond. Fog filled the lower part of the valley like a milky lake.
“Yes, you were right . . . He is,” Coates was saying in a low voice. “But there’s only so much you can do for him. True understanding is never given; it must be earned. We all abide by the same rules.”
“I know. But to meet him again after all this time and then just walk away doesn’t seem right.”
“It’s a tough one, sweetie. Just don’t forget how hard you’ve worked for this trip.”
“I know . . . If it were anyone but him, it would be so much easier to let go.”
Coates reached over and placed his hand on Beatrice’s forearm. “Do what you need to. If it’s more time, I can always stall for you. Worse comes to worse, I can insist that they take more of my books.”
Beatrice laughed, which gave Adam the opportunity to noisily open the screen door.
“Good morning.”
Coates and Beatrice both turned. Coates returned the greeting, and Beatrice gave him a sunny smile.
“Hope I didn’t oversleep. I’m guessing we probably need to head back soon.”
Beatrice nodded. “Yes, we do.”
Sailing back down the coast toward Mendocino, the waters were much rougher than the previous day. As Paradiso 9 cut through the waves, Adam tried assisting Beatrice as best he could, but she seemed to prefer handling the boat on her own today, no longer the enthusiastic instructor. Adam also noticed that today she had a bit more of the cold park ranger in her voice. Perhaps she was preparing for the inevitable good-bye that awaited them back at Noyo Harbor.
Ordinarily Adam could imagine himself reacting to her remoteness by distancing himself in return. But not now, not with Beatrice. I respect her too much to play games like that, Adam thought. He watched her at the helm, moving like an extension of her boat. Even buried in her ridiculously oversize parka, she was a vision from heaven.
“Thank you for bringing me up to meet your dad,” Adam finally said. “It means a great deal to me.”
Beatrice looked over as if only just remembering that Adam was there. She gave him a quick smile. “Want to take over?”
“Uh, sure.” Adam jumped up to the helm and took hold of the wheel. He felt more confident today, but Beatrice stayed next to him just in case.
“Keep to this course, directly into the waves. Don’t let them get alongside you.”
Adam did as he was told.
“How much do you know about your dad’s research back in the sixties?”
Beatrice considered the question for a few moments. “He poured his whole life into it. Spent close to ten years setting it up and gathering the right group of subjects. Different types of people, but with one important similarity. He called them butterflies. People less bounded by their identity, more naturally inclined to be—as your grandmother put it—open.”
The boat hit a big wave, and Beatrice reached out to help Adam, but he had already recovered on his own.
“So what happened? Your dad said they made discoveries of some kind?”
“They were experimenting with a variety of disciplines that involved very intense focusing of attention, looking at the link between the subconscious mind and physical reality. They were trying to map out ways to tap into what you might call ‘the subconscious world.’”
“The Hidden Domain?”
“Right, dad’s term for it. Apparently he had this one student in particular that came along, who was able to do some pretty unbelievable things. And then everyone else in the group started advancing exponentially. One of the most important discoveries they made turned out to be purely accidental.”
“What was that?”
Beatrice brushed the hair from her eyes. “They began seeing effects in the environment on campus. Small things at first. Changes in how plants grew in the building they were working out of. A separate lab in the same building saw sudden changes in the behavior of the mice they were studying. The more intense their work got, the more the whole atmosphere on campus started to shift. Of course there were big cultural changes taking place at the time, but this was something else. It was as if the sky above Dad’s building had cracked open, and for a brief window in time, reality itself seemed to be in question. Open and alive . . . but then Adiklein got involved.”
Another large wave hit the boat, shaking it violently. Beatrice quickly adjusted the mainsail, slowing the boat, which gave Adam time to recover control.
“All right?” Beatrice asked.
“Fine.” Adam gripped the wheel firmly. “So what did Adiklein do?”
“He saw a very different purpose for their work. Real world applications. New forms of marketing, subconscious methods of persuasion, the dramatic potential to influence people and control their attention.”
“Like looking at E equals MC-squared and seeing the atom bomb?”
“Good analogy. My dad, of course, wanted nothing to do with it. So Adiklein turned on him and claimed his research—stole it, really. To cover that up, he did some pretty unthinkable things. Corrupting the study by introducing drugs, which led to paranoia and to accusations of abuse against my father. A bunch of the students involved, people who had trusted my dad explicitly, ended up psychologically damaged. Some even—” Beatrice stopped herself. Adam got the feeling that she was being careful about how much to say.
“It got really bad,” she went on. “And it broke my father’s heart, but there wasn’t anything he could do. Adiklein had powerful friends inside and outside the university. They bought people off, manipulated the press, and ended up pinning everything on Dad by making him look like a monster.”
I once tried to shoot him, Coates had said to Adam. Now it didn’t seem so difficult to picture.
“That’s how we ended up on that land below your grandmother’s house all those years ago,” Beatrice said with a smile. “Dad had a connection to Anne, I don’t remember what exactly, but she was one of the few people who didn’t believe all the lies about him. She also understood his work on a level that not many people did. She had a natural connection with the side of the world he was trying to reach. So my parents and a few of their friends, the ones they still had, came up to Little River to try to start over. It wasn’t easy. Especially for Dad. He started writing as a way to cope, and Navigations of the Hidden Domain was the eventual result. But my mother and I left before he finished it.”
“Why did your mother leave him?”
“She hated hiding in the woods. She was angry and she wanted to fight back. I think most of all she couldn’t forgive my father for trusting Adiklein. The more powerful and famous Adiklein got, the more she blamed Dad.”
Beatrice quickly adjusted the luffing mainsail that Adam had been too engrossed in the conversation to notice.
“Thanks.” Adam took a moment to check that everything else was okay before continuing. “But then you reconnected with him, right? He sent you that postcard?”
“Right. We exchanged letters for a while. I was twenty-five when I first went to visit him. I had expected to find a bitter old man, but as you see, he’s anything but.”
“What had he been doing all those years?”
“Continued his work in private with small groups of people. Over time his book found its way out into the world, although Adiklein tried to suppress it. It attracted a community of people from different backgrounds, different disciplines, quietly working together. Scientists, psychologists, doctors, people from various spiritual traditions, all interested in solving the same problem.”
“And what is that?”
“How to break through again, on a global level. How to unlock mankind’s dormant potential, before we self-destruct.”
Turning the tiller toward the entrance to Noyo Harbor, Adam felt his heart sink. Waiting for them at the docks was the inevitable good-bye, after which Adam would have to pick up the pieces of his other life, the one he had been avoiding thinking about.
When they pulled into the slip, Beatrice tied up the boat and began taking down the sails. A bit confused, Adam helped her as she started folding up and storing the mainsail.
“I’ve got this, Adam. You do the jib.”
“So, then . . .” Adam started toward the front of the boat. “You’re heading back up there today, right?”
“Not right away. I’ll have to check the tide tables, and it’s late enough so that I may wait to head out until the morning.” Beatrice shot a glance at Adam, sensing his apprehension. “Unless you need to—”
“No. I’d be happy if you stayed.”
“I didn’t mean to assume that you—” Beatrice started to turn away. Impulsively, Adam went straight over and kissed her. Since the night they spent together, Adam had longed to be close to her again, to hold her. And although she had been affectionate, she had kept her distance. Now, though, she clung to him and buried her head in his chest so he couldn’t see her face.
Adam spoke softly into her cold, damp hair. “I want to spend every last second I can with you, but I also know that you have to go. You belong out there with your father. What you’re doing is important, and I don’t want to keep you from that.”
After a moment Beatrice pulled back and looked up at him. Her serious expression slowly gave way to a smile. “I’m staying until morning, whether you like it or not.”
Adam gave her another kiss. “Then until morning I am yours to command.”
“Good,” Beatrice said. Her smile became sinister. “In that case, I’ve got an idea.”
She turned and went below deck, heading all the way down into a storage area in the hull to grab a few supplies she said they would need. While waiting for her in the cabin, Adam briefly considered trying to pet Anush, who was stretched out in front of one of the bookcases, but wisely decided against it. Through the glass doors behind the cat, Adam noticed a new item had been added to Beatrice’s collectables. Squeezed tightly between a bust of Isis and a conch shell was the box of number-two pencils he had given her.
Beatrice emerged from the storage area with a kerosene lantern and a crate of Virgin Mary jar candles. From the harbor they drove to a hardware store in Fort Bragg, where they bought a large shovel and a cheap metal detector. Next they hit a grocery store for picnic supplies: French bread, cheese, jam, olives, wine, and chocolate—and no protein bars. After that they drove down to Mendocino and stopped by the hotel. Up in room 25b, Adam grabbed some towels out of the bathroom and the comforter off the bed. He was on his way out when he realized that they didn’t have any drinking water, so he emptied the minibar fridge.
Adam found a back stairwell and slipped out a side entrance to the hotel. Running over to the car where Beatrice was waiting, he got a few odd looks from tourists as he shoved the stolen contraband into the backseat. “If I get arrested for stealing hotel bedding, I’m going to tell the police you made me do it,” Adam said as he slid into the driver’s seat and quickly started the engine.
Heading down Highway 1, Adam got stuck behind an elderly woman driving an ancient Ford Pinto.
“Pass her, Adam!”
“I can’t go! It’s a double yellow line!”
“Low tide was at three thirty-five P.M. We’re going to miss our chance. Go around her!”
Adam punched the gas and passed the old lady as Beatrice rolled down her window and waved.
Lugging their supplies through the cemetery and the hole in the back fence, they approached the sinkhole. It was low tide, so there was no scary rumbling from below and no waves washing in. After some deliberation they ended up bundling everything into the comforter, like a giant Santa Claus sack, and then using the rope to slowly lower it down into the hole. Once the sack landed, they tied the rope to a tree, and after Beatrice used it to climb down, Adam followed. By the time they both reached the sand, it was almost five o’clock.
Adam quickly downed a bottle of water while Beatrice organized the rest of their supplies. The tunnel that led out to the ocean was still relatively quiet. “Come on, Indiana Jones. Let’s see if we can find it.”
Beatrice grabbed the kerosene lantern and the metal detector and walked into the tunnel. Adam followed with the shovel. About halfway in, Beatrice stopped. She held the light up to the ceiling. “Here! See that!” She was pointing to a white, star-shaped rock.
“Some kind of calcium deposit!” Adam said. “Or maybe quartz with some—”
“It’s my marker, silly!” Beatrice punched Adam in the arm before moving toward one of the walls. As she got closer, the lantern light revealed an alcove some four feet deep. “It’s back in here! This is where we have to dig!”
Adam looked skeptical. “You seriously think it’s still here?”
“Should be. It’s surrounded by bedrock.”
Before Adam could say anything, a large wave crashed into the far end of the tunnel. They both watched as the water rushed toward them, then slowed down and eventually stopped about 15 feet away. Beatrice shouted, “Come on! We’ve got to try!”
Adam dug. Even with the shovel, it was backbreaking work. He piled the wet sand on the side of the alcove that faced the ocean, attempting to create a barrier against the water, which was creeping closer with each break. Taking a short rest to catch his breath, Adam leaned against the slippery rock wall. Beatrice stepped into the hole and slowly waved the metal detector over the wet sand.
“Anything?”
“No.”
“How do you know it’s still here? Maybe it got washed out to sea.”
“It’s here!” Beatrice yelled over an approaching wave. “I can feel it!” She picked up the shovel and dug furiously as Adam watched the wave travel down the tunnel toward them. It stopped just a few feet away. Beatrice grabbed the metal detector again and did another sweep. Nothing. But then a faint beep. “Over here! On this side!” Beatrice shouted.
Adam grabbed the shovel, jumped back into the hole, and started digging where Beatrice had pointed. It was hard for him to tell how much progress he was making, since the farther down he dug, the wetter the sand was and the more it caved in on itself. Beatrice did another quick sweep. The beep was louder now.
“Keep going! We’re close!”
Just then a huge wave came barreling into the tunnel with enough force to reach the sand barrier Adam had built at the lip of the hole. Adam started digging like a maniac as Beatrice used her hands to reinforce the sand wall. Just as the
next wave started to crash into the tunnel, Adam heard a loud clink of metal against metal.
“I hit it! I hit it!”
Adam dropped to his knees and dug with his hands. Beatrice watched anxiously as a new wave came roaring toward them.
“Stop! Stop!” she yelled at the water. But this time the wave had enough force to rush up and over the sand wall and into the hole, partially flooding it.
“Damn it! We’re so close!” Beatrice yelled. She was holding up the metal detector and the lantern to keep them out of the water. Adam, still on his knees, clawed at the sand with numb fingers. “No way! I’m not giving up!”
“Adam! The waves are only going to get bigger!”
“No! I can feel it! I can feel the top of the—” Adam’s voice was drowned out by the thundering crash of the next wave.
“Adam! We have to get out of here!”
Adam wrapped his fingers around what felt like a metal handle. He pulled, and it snapped off.
“Shit!”
“Adam!” Beatrice was trying to pull him out of the hole by his jacket when the water reached them, completely flooding the hole and soaking Adam. But he had both hands around the metal box now, and with the water in the hole, it was starting to loosen the sand around it. He tugged with all his strength.
Out of the watery hole he pulled a rusty metal lockbox.
“You got it! Oh my God!” Beatrice screamed as Adam handed her the box. “Quick! Come on!” she yelled, running back toward the sinkhole.
Adam struggled to his feet, grabbed the shovel, and slogged down the tunnel as the biggest wave yet came rushing in. Already back in the sinkhole, Beatrice was jumping up and down, rooting Adam on like a cheerleader. “C’mon, run!”
Adam emerged from the tunnel with water at his heels and fell exhausted into Beatrice’s arms.
Protected on all sides by flickering Ladies of Guadalupe candles, Adam and Beatrice sat, wrapped in towels, on the hotel comforter. The rusty lockbox, unopened, sat across from them like a third guest. “Are you afraid to see what’s inside?” Adam asked.
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