“You had whoever you wanted, Daniel.” Chris had to make sense of what was happening. The disappointment in Daniel’s voice caught at him and he looked more closely at the tall man. “There was no way in hell you wanted me like I wanted you.”
“You’re wrong.” Gently, moving slowly and keeping his hands in plain sight, he eased Chris back onto the bed, helping him to scoot up before removing his own clothing quickly and efficiently. Finally he climbed up Chris’s body, marking his passing with sure, sweeping kisses. When he was laid half on top of him Daniel stopped, his lips only a breath away from Chris’s. He just stared, the look on his face thoughtful.
“I have a confession to make,” Daniel said. His tone was gentle.
That was it, Chris knew Daniel had been lying, and now he was going be told. He should just accept it, sleep with the guy and move on, trying to ignore the hurt that cut deep. If only Daniel would stop talking then they could just have sex and he could flush him out of his system once and for all.
“It doesn’t matter what you say now, whatever shit you pulled,” Chris said forcefully. “I don’t care. I just want you to fuck me.” Frustrated, he pushed up against Daniel, his hard dick finding the groove of thigh and groin. “Come on.”
Daniel stilled him, shifting his weight, pinning him to the bed, using one hand to hold himself steady, the other lacing in Chris’s hair. “Wait, you need to know I’m telling you the truth—I didn’t find you at Amelia’s by accident. I tracked you down.”
Chris frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I had made my choices, settled into the work I loved, got past the money and doing-nothing crap. Damn.” Daniel laughed softly. “I guess you could say I had found myself after all this time. And… I talked to your brother.”
“Andy? You—”
“I knew he worked at the Times, guessed he would be easier to track from there.
Googled him, talked to him. Just general stuff about catching up, and he said you weren’t with anyone. I used what he told me about Amelia’s and I went to a coffee shop that is clear across town from my precinct just to see if what I had felt in college was still there.” He dropped a gentle kiss on Chris’s lips and Chris closed his eyes. What Daniel was saying wasn’t—couldn’t be—right.
“Wait.” Chris pulled back against the soft pillows. “You tracked me down like some kind of crazy stalker dude.” Daniel nodded and had the grace to look a little ashamed, spoiled somewhat by the intention flashing in his heated gaze.
“I did, and I can tell you I would do it again, just to be here with you now.”
“Oh.” Chris really wanted to say more, but he had no words in his head. He waited for the anxiety to render him breathless. Nothing happened. He was fully here and completely focused, body and mind. Daniel with the gorgeous hazel eyes and the muscles on his muscles—had found him. Him!
“I don’t want to fuck,” Daniel offered into the silence, and instant disappointment chased away the positives in Chris’s head. A despairing emotion that was replaced almost immediately by warmth that flew through his body like wildfire at Daniel’s next words. “I want us to make love.”
There was sensation like no other, the half dark inviting and welcoming the two men and their need. It wasn’t particularly quick, but neither was it drawn out. It was kisses so deep and so long that they had to split for air. It was touching and tasting and erotic words. Chris was a near-pleading incoherent mess by the time Daniel had prepped him and moved to spoon him from behind. It had been such a long time— months—since he had been with someone, and he had never experienced such gentleness or want.
They rocked in rhythm, Daniel strong and forceful behind and Chris desperate for his lover to touch him. When he was close, the head of Daniel’s dick pressing against his gland on every pass, sending him higher, it was as if Daniel knew exactly when he should finally close his fingers around Chris. The counter-rhythm was incredible and he lost it in an instant, Daniel’s name on his lips and a rush of emotion in his head. Daniel thrust hard once more, then again, and then stiffened behind him, Chris’s name flowing from his lips over and over.
Sleep came so very quickly, and for the first time in a very long time, Chris had no worries or cares that made him wake in the dark.
Daniel had to leave for his next shift at nine in the morning and Chris remained in Daniel’s bed, warm with Daniel’s scent, evidence of their lovemaking and tangled sheets around him.
Daniel had gone with a kiss, a hug, affection and the promise of more, and he added that Chris should get breakfast there and have a shower. After Chris had used the shower and dressed, he decided he really needed to get back to Ame and the shop.
However much Daniel said it was okay, it didn’t seem right for him to be using Daniel’s stuff or eating his food.
Amelia didn’t say anything. She raised an eyebrow when he walked in through the café entrance, which was her way of asking the question. He smiled and then shrugged. Hopefully that was explanation enough for the walk of shame.
Chapter 9
Wednesday, December 12th
“I’m not getting on ice skates,” Chris said firmly. Daniel grinned down at his new lover and decided there and then that he was really pushing this.
“You need to live a little,” he said. Chris frowned at him and then peered back onto the Wollman skating rink with more than a little trepidation added to horror.
“I don’t want to spend Christmas in hospital,” Chris said. He pointed to a group of young girls who were all lying flat on their backs on the ice. “See. People fall over.”
“People also glide beautifully on ice,” Daniel said. He pulled Chris in for a close hug and loved the feeling of Chris burying his face into Daniel’s neck and scarf. It didn’t matter that it was below freezing in Central Park; there was new snow on the ground, the skaters were laughing and happy and the lights reflecting off of the ice were stunning. Grabbing Chris’s hand, he pulled him down the path and to the kiosk to pay and get skates. He hesitated only briefly when Chris tugged back but the closer they got to actual skating, the more relaxed Chris seemed.
“You realize you have a really long way to fall when you’re as tall as a tree, Daniel Bailey,” Chris pointed out. He was tying his skates and checking the fit by waggling his foot. He looked so damn serious.
“Is that a height joke? Did you just make a height joke?” Daniel teased. He loved it when Chris smiled. In fact he loved it when Chris smiled, laughed, frowned, or indeed did anything that reflected in his gorgeous brown eyes. I have it so bad, he thought to himself. I just want to be with Chris all the time.
“Not at all, a height joke would be asking you what the weather was like up there.
Now that is a good height joke.” Chris pushed himself to stand upright and held out his hands to balance himself on the matting. There was such a look of triumph in his expression when he remained upright that Daniel couldn’t hold back the laugh even if he tried.
“You look good there,” he said, then stepped as carefully as he could into Chris’s space. Stealing a kiss from snow-cold lips, he pulled back and guided Chris to the beginning of the ice. There was a small step up onto the vast expanse of slippery stuff.
Daniel waited as Chris stopped his forward movement.
“You’ve seen Bambi, right?” Chris said. He was uncertain and staring morosely down at the ice. “You know that scene when the rabbit—”
“Thumper.”
“Yeah, Thumper takes Bambi on the ice and he’s all legs and falling over?”
“It will be fine. I’ve got you.” Daniel stepped onto the rink and centered his balance so he had a firm stance. Then he held a hand out and took the unsteady weight of Chris out onto the ice. Chris glided forward a few inches and Daniel couldn’t believe the sheer terror in the other man’s eyes.
“Relax,” he said. “Look at me.” Chris looked up into Daniel’s eyes and nodded.
“I’ll be fine. Let’s go.”
The first loop around following the other skaters was slow and unsteady. The second was a little faster, with Chris skating less with steps and more with glides. He was concentrating so hard. Daniel needed to pick up a topic of conversation that would take Chris’s mind off what he was doing so his movements became instinctive as opposed to planned.
“Did you ever wonder why English was the only subject I needed help in?”
Chris didn’t reply straightaway but as soon as they were passing the school kids with the penguin gliders he finally replied with a single questioning word. “No?”
“I was so selfish,” Daniel started. “I am sure I took you away from another deserving student in need of support, but I just wanted to spend time with you.”
“You did?”
Daniel was pleased to see that the skating was becoming secondary to Chris’s thinking. He pushed the subject further.
“English never came easy to me. Too many old guys writing stuff I didn’t enjoy.
But I managed steady Cs, you know, enough to get by. When I realized I could get face time with the hottest TA I’d seen I may have fudged some of my essays to get lower grades.” This could go one of two ways here. Chris could get annoyed and huffy that Daniel had kind of lied to him. Or he could see it for what it was—a shameless ploy on his part to spend time with Chris. Thankfully Chris chose the second option.
“Idiot,” he said with affection in the words. He squeezed Daniel’s hand tightly and then stretched his stride so that they were moving faster. With a whoop of encouragement, Daniel stepped up his skating and soon the two of them joined the faster loopers and were able to talk about what they could see: the city lit up in the night sky, the lights, the people and most of all where they were going next.
When they left the rink they were breathless with laughter and Chris was demanding they do it again. Daniel cupped Chris’s face and pressed a kiss to his laugh.
“I’ve fallen in love with you all over again,” Daniel said softly. Chris blinked at him in surprise for a moment. Then he smiled softly and placed his hands flat on Daniel’s chest. Daniel could feel the press of them even through his bulky coat.
“Thank you for finding me again,” Chris said. To Daniel that sounded like a declaration as close to an ‘I love you’ as Chris could get this quickly after meeting again.
He would take the win there.
They followed the path out of Central Park and back into the City proper. The snow was falling again and the lights of the buildings were blurred behind the white curtain.
Daniel didn’t think he’d ever felt happier.
Perfect.
Chapter 10
Saturday, December 15th
Chris couldn’t believe he and Ame had made it through the whole of the rest of the week without too much of ‘the talk’ about spending the night at Daniel’s house more than once in the past week or the fact that he could not stop grinning at random moments when he thought about Daniel. It was ten on Saturday morning that he finally relaxed and felt there wasn’t going to be a Spanish Inquisition-type barrage of questions from his friend. He had just received a text from Daniel and everything was right with the world. It had just been a simple offer to meet up again that evening with an “x” at the end of the message, but it was enough.
It didn’t have to be more. Just to know Daniel wanted to see him again meant that clearly Chris hadn’t blown it with the ‘thank you for finding me’ routine. He just wasn’t ready to say ‘I love you’ when his head was so full of the what ifs in his own life. Daniel hadn’t pushed though, and for that, Chris was thankful. He wanted to spend every waking minute with Daniel, wanted to call him and hear his voice all the time. He was in love and he knew it; only he wasn’t ready for anyone else to know it.
The text had been followed up by a call, no more than twenty seconds of ‘hi’s’ and ‘how are yous?’ but it was a connection that Chris realized he had been waiting for as relief flooded through him. They’d seen each other only once or twice briefly over the last few days, but Daniel had pulled late shifts that lasted way past normal, which meant he spent most days sleeping.
“You seeing Daniel tonight?” Amelia caught him staring at his cell phone and her voice held laughter, controlled maybe, but definite glee nonetheless.
“Uh huh, late though, told me he has… work stuff.” Chris gestured with the cell to cover up the lack of knowledge he had on any details. Daniel hadn’t actually explained in detail what was going on at work that caused this shift to be a long one. He just sounded a little harried on the phone, snapped out something about the Christmas season and situations and double shifts, and then hung up.
“‘Stuff’ sounds kinda important.”
“Said he could make it for a coffee in a bit.” He knew he sounded relieved, but he shrugged the emotion away. Ame knew what he was like and she didn’t answer, just nodded in agreement and filled an order. Chris resigned himself to much more teasing.
It was the kind of morning in Amelia’s when there was no time to take a breath or a break. Time just flew past in a blur of coffee and money and tourists looking for local landmarks. It was Chris’s favorite kind of morning, busy and intense and full of shared laughter with Ame and the other staff. To top it all off, everyone who came into the store seemed so happy, shopping and visiting and bringing cold Christmassy air through the door. Or, he admitted, maybe it was just an extension of his own good mood? Whatever it was, Chris loved it. He had skipped lunch, the clock showed two thirty, and the anticipation of seeing Daniel later started to build.
“Christian?”
In a single second everything ground to a sickening halt. That voice, hearing the two syllables, a harsh end to his name, caused emotions to flood him in a crushing wave. Slowly he looked up, temper coiling within him, his hands gripping the counter, and everything around him blurring as he focused on the owner of that voice. Only one person called him Christian with that censorious tone laced with superiority. The one man who took his heart and his affections and stomped them into the mud. Who lied to him, used him, set him up for the fall.
“Whit,” Chris said. Whitman Hamilton-Keyes III. A formidable presence, in a suit.
A suit on a Saturday? With his blond hair scraped back and his arms crossed over his chest, he peered over the counter and cast a quick look at the other staff.
“How are you?” he asked, and Chris rocked back on his heels. How was he? How was he? Everything that had happened was Whit’s fault. How did Whit expect him to be? “Can you spare some time to talk?” Whit was joking right? Chris was in the middle of the afternoon rush, tourists lining up almost to the door behind Whit—of course he couldn’t spare any time. He attempted to form words, a simple no, gripping tight to the edges of his apron, sudden temper twisting in him, disgust rising in his throat.
“We have nothing to talk about,” he finally managed to say and was proud of how he had said those few words without cracking up or jumping the counter and killing the man on the other side of it. Whit inclined his head in acceptance, made to leave, and then stopped and looked back at Chris with determination on his face.
“Five minutes… or even just one minute…”
Chris felt someone step close to him, looked left briefly, and caught sight of the frown on Amelia’s face. She had never met the other man during all of what had happened at Sacred Heart. Of course she knew everything that had happened, over whisky and beer she had prized it out of him. It had been good to share it. More than good, it had been vital, otherwise he swore he would have lost it completely.
“Everything okay here?” She wasn’t really asking Chris, her words were directed at Whit.
“One minute then,” Chris snapped irritably and then pulled off the apron, indicating Whit should follow him to the kitchen. He ignored Ame, couldn’t even look her in the eye, but thank God she didn’t push. He paused momentarily at the curious faces of the two girls on a break and thought on his feet, taking the stairs to his r
oom.
Whit followed and Chris deliberately shut the door on the outside so it was just them.
To give him his due Whit didn’t flinch when Chris stopped right in front of him.
“You have your minute.”
“I… just… I have a lot to say… one minute isn’t enough time to—”
“Fuck. You.” Chris inhaled noisily and then tried to settle his anger; he needed to be clearheaded to handle this. After that morning in the office, he had left with his future destroyed and his reputation shattered. Carefully he measured his next words.
“In less than one minute the board at Sacred Heart judged me as a predator and finished me. So forgive me for matching that time.” Chris was giving no quarter and Whit blanched.
“I didn’t have any choice. Believe me.”
It was completely and absolutely the wrong thing for Whit to say. Rage spiraled so fast in Chris that it was a fire inside his head. He was finding it so hard not to let his need to physically hurt Whit escape to become actual violence.
“You could have told them the fucking truth.”
“I couldn’t.” Whit was evidently horrified at the thought.
“Time’s up,” Chris bit out in response. He opened the door and stood to one side.
He wanted Whit to leave; he didn’t need to stand here listening to this shit.
“Is there anything I can do for you,” Whit finally said, “as my way of making things right?”
Whit looked genuinely confused. Did he not realize what he had done? Just how much Chris’s career was in the gutter? Was he that oblivious?
“You are joking, right? You know what you need to do. Go back to the school. Be honest. Tell them that it was actually us in a relationship, and that I didn’t act inappropriately with my kids. Tell them the email forwarded to them was from you to me, not from me to a child in my care.”
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