Chris lifted his gaze in shock. “Just gay? Not because of… they…” He was near incoherent with the rage that was climbing steadily inside him. “They said they’d found an email which proved I may be inappropriate with the kids—my class—said I wasn’t safe to be with them. Then Whit refused to accept that it was him who had sent the email—”
“Hamilton-Keyes talked about pressing charges for assault—”
“Assault? I’m fucked.”
“Wait. He got a heads-up from the school and has dropped all charges. The school said they would give you a good reference.”
All the fight left Chris in an instant at Daniel’s calm words. He looked Daniel directly in the eye. Daniel held the gaze steadily.
“You managed to talk him down and get a reference for me? It was that easy?” he asked.
Daniel hesitated and briefly shut his eyes.
“I was honest with them,” he said simply. “I may have encouraged their response with a small amount of implied police intervention.”
Chris felt grief wash over him. That was more honesty than he was expecting and warmth filled him at what Daniel had done for him.
“I’m sorry you had to… I don’t want you thinking…” Neither sentence was he able to finish. He was sorry Daniel had to get involved at all. Then he was furious at himself for thinking that Daniel may not see him as a strong man.
“I’m not sorry I got involved. I had no choice at the start, but, Chris, if you’d told me all of this in detail I would have been there for you. I love you.”
Chris closed his eyes and bowed his head. “I love you too." The words came easily after worrying so long about the right time and place to say them. Now was the right time. "That’s why I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry.”
Daniel encouraged Chris to strip to his boxers and then lie back on the bed. He stripped his own clothes and then climbed in the bed behind him. Daniel pulled him close and Chris let himself relax into the strong hold. There was no way Chris could wriggle free even if he wanted to. He tucked his head under Daniel’s chin, inhaling the scent of the cold and snow outside, so many questions in his head, but only one thing he could really say.
“I’m sorry you had to do all that for me.”
“I didn’t do it for you,” Daniel said firmly. “I did it for us.”
Chapter 12
Tuesday, December 18th
Chris surfaced from sleep a second at a time, lazy-slow, warm, snuggled, and held tightly. Disoriented, he tried to move, the weight of Daniel’s arm pinning him to the mattress and his fingers curling into the sheets. The clock showed three am and Chris blinked to make sure he was seeing the time right. Jeez, he’d slept into a new day in the same bed as Daniel, and they hadn’t made love. That was a tragic waste of opportunity and he wriggled again in the hope that Daniel would wake up and take notice. All Daniel did was move his arm, roll onto his back, grunting in his sleep, and pull the quilt with him. Chris smiled. His lover, all bad-ass cop and defeater of evil, looked like a little kid, his hair tangled, and his face as young as he remembered from college.
With Daniel turning at least Chris could now move, and using the bathroom was a definite benefit of that. He tried to settle back into sleep, but there was so much in his head that it just wasn’t happening. Instead, to fill the time, he shuffled back and leaned against the headboard, proceeding to do something he really enjoyed—Daniel watching. He had never had the luxury of watching Daniel sleep before, the other man seemed to be on perpetual alert and so damn aware all the time of what was happening around him.
Watching lasted all of a minute. Then it was impossible not to touch what he was looking at. Daniel had the softest hair, and despite the darkness of the room, Chris could recall every soft chestnut highlight in the dark brown silk. It twisted and caught around his fingers, and Daniel stirred enough to lean into the touch. Chris smiled, emotion swelling inside him, and he traced a path from forehead to neck, scooting down the bed a little so he could follow his fingers with kisses. Daniel murmured and tensed the muscles in his arm under Chris’s touch, still asleep, still quiet. Chris turned on the small bedside lamp, which cast a soft glow around the bed. Carefully, cautiously, Chris pulled the quilt lower, exposing just enough of Daniel’s broad chest to make his mouth water. He focused in on one nipple, leaning over and blowing gently on it before touching the tip of his tongue to the hardened nub.
It wasn’t enough; it never was where Daniel was concerned. Chris wanted to taste more and without conscious thought he did just that. He used his teeth to worry lightly at the skin, moving his mouth in a convoluted tasting survey. It became more than obvious that Daniel was now feigning sleep as his breathing quickened. Daniel’s body twitched, and if Chris wasn’t mistaken, that was one hard dick poking at his thigh. He pulled back, but Daniel stopped him, anchoring his fingers in Chris’s hair and holding firmly.
“Don’t stop,” Daniel murmured. “It was a nice dream I was having.”
Chris chuckled. “I just wanted to taste you,” he admitted.
“You just wanted me to wake up.”
“Well I wanted to say thank you properly.”
Daniel stilled momentarily. Then threading his fingers through Chris’s hair, he encouraged him higher to steal a kiss. Chris went willingly, resting his weight half on and half off his lover.
“You never have to say thank you.” Daniel was obviously being serious, and for a split second Chris wanted to see his hazel eyes clearly to judge the emotion in them.
“What you did for me—”
“For us.”
“For us. For me. Jeez, Daniel, I didn’t have the fight in me. So… thank you.”
Concerned about stupid stuff like bed-breath he pushed himself out of bed. He darted into the bathroom and brushed his teeth and smiled in the mirror when Daniel followed him, all sleep-tousled and soft-eyed. Handing him a spare toothbrush, Chris left to climb back under the warm covers. Expectation of what he wanted to do built inside until he was so hard he was cursing the time it was taking Daniel to brush his teeth.
Daniel finally joined him in quilt heaven and they kissed again, tongues caramel-smooth and lazy-slow, letting the heat build gently. Chris encouraged Daniel to lie between his legs and then held him close for as much contact as he could get.
The taste of Daniel intoxicated Chris. It had been so long since he’d connected with anyone, and Whitman didn’t count. The sex with him had been hurried and furtive and tinged with Whitman’s bitterness that he was even doing it in the first place.
He pushed thoughts of his ex out of his head and concentrated on Daniel.
Chris arched up into Daniel’s hold and luxuriated in the feel of the other man hard against him. He’d missed this so much.
“You have beautiful eyes,” Daniel whispered. He kissed the end of Chris’s nose and smiled down at him.
“So do you,” Chris replied. He wasn’t lying. Daniel’s eyes had always been a mystery to him. Sometimes brown, sometimes green, the term hazel didn’t do them justice. They had flecks of amber and a dark black and they were gorgeous.
“Always your eyes,” Daniel murmured. He kissed from lips to throat and then concentrated on mapping a path of heat from nipple to navel and back. Chris writhed under him at the sensations building in his body. God, Daniel was a master at this.
“When we studied and you looked so serious, I would look in your eyes. I don’t think you ever knew how girly I felt staring at you.”
“I-I’m sor-sorry,” Chris stuttered as Daniel’s lips moved dangerously close to his dick. He wriggled impatiently to get his erection closer to Daniel’s mouth but Daniel was chuckling, the fucker, and tasting every part but the very part Chris wanted him to kiss.
“Don’t apologize,” Daniel whispered. He pressed with his hands until Chris widened his legs and then tilted Chris until he could concentrate on kissing and sucking the heavy sacs that were drawing up. Chris was so damn clo
se.
“Please,” he murmured. Pleaded.
“What, Christian?” Daniel teased.
“In your mouth,” Chris managed to push the words out in a logical order. Daniel didn’t argue. He sucked Chris down in a smooth move and then concentrated on
edging Chris until he couldn’t take any more. Every single suck and touch and lick was enough to push him. But he wanted more. This morning he needed more. Reaching down he twisted his fingers into Daniel’s hair and tugged gently until his lover got the point.
“What?” he asked.
“Inside me,” Chris ordered. Flailing at the side cabinet he found the condom left on the side and the lube and dropped both into Daniel’s hands. “Now.”
Daniel didn’t mess around, he had the condom on and was stretching Chris in no time at all. Chris wanted it quicker. He pushed down on Daniel’s fingers.
“Don’t rush. You’ll hurt—” Daniel didn’t finish the sentence as Chris moved again and Daniel’s fingers pressed deeper inside. The sensation was too much and Chris nearly lost it there and then. “Jesus,” Daniel breathed. “I’ve never seen…”
Lining himself up and encouraging Chris to tilt and rest against Daniel’s thighs, he pressed inside. Chris winced at the first intrusion and then pushed past the initial discomfort and rocked forward as Daniel moved deeper. The rhythm they set was hurried and raw but they stared into each other’s eyes during every moment of it.
“I love you. I love you,” Daniel said over and over. He closed his eyes briefly when Chris was coming hard, and then he followed Chris over.
Chris pulled him close, reveling in the warmth and weight of his lover.
“I love you, Daniel,” Chris whispered. He could feel Daniel’s smile against his skin.
* * * *
“So can we stop off for more muffins in the morning?” Alex said.
Daniel laughed. Visiting Amelia’s café had created a monster out of his partner for chocolate chip cookies. They were getting ready to go out on patrol in the dark, Daniel’s favorite way of patrolling the city. Yes, they didn’t cover the high pressure spots but still there was more than enough color this close to Christmas to ensure it would be a varied night.
“I’m guessing we can,” Daniel replied. He shrugged on his jacket and ensured everything was in place.
“Maybe you could introduce me to your guy. Properly I mean.”
Daniel smiled. Hell, he could feel himself smiling and the feeling didn’t leave him even as they went out onto the street. The night sky was clear and the snow that had fallen earlier in the morning covered every piece of gray with a layer of diamond white that reflected street lamps. He loved this City.
“We have a 10-11 at Bakers and Fifth; can you attend?”
“10-4. We’re five out.”
The code for an alarm was nothing new. Alarms were going off in the city all the time—cars, buildings, you name it, if it was alarmed then police wasted time at calls that didn’t come to anything.
Which is why Daniel wasn’t the least bit prepared when it all went to hell.
Ansell Stewart, fifty-three and with a gun, was icy calm. Daniel and Alex had walked into a situation that was likely to get out of hand in a second. Ansell’s wife— soon-to-be ex-wife—was sitting in a chair, sobbing. She was a cleaner at this older-style office building and Ansell had paid a visit after being served papers. Ansell had decided that the only way out of a marriage that had ended badly was to bring a gun to the meeting.
They’d been sitting on the floor with a gun pointing at them for at least an hour.
Daniel wanted to be composed but the very real fear that was digging away at him made it difficult. This wasn’t his first time at the wrong end of a gun but it was the first where there was so much rational decision in the gun holder’s eyes. He wasn’t high or drunk; he was literally dead to emotion. When he said Daniel and Alex should make a final phone call he wasn’t joking, and suddenly Daniel knew he didn’t have the words for Chris, no matter how he said them.
“Hi. I’ve just—jeez—Chris, I just wanted to tell you I love you. Sorry we don’t have more time.” He kept his voice as calm as he could but then he realized he couldn’t say any more. He ended the call. Alex made his call and Chris’s heart nearly stopped when it was Alex’s wife that answered the phone, as evidenced by the ashen look on his friend’s face and the simple “I love you, baby, always tell Em I love her too.” He cut the call and returned the phone to where Ansell Stewart was telling them to put it.
“You should never have come in you know. I didn’t want any witnesses to the end of things with her,” Ansell said calmly. There was no grandstanding or eloquent speeches or anything that gave them a chance to rush the guy. They sat there for an hour, maybe more, with Ansell staring at his wife, absolutely silent and still. It didn’t matter what she said or pleaded or explained, he was unmoved. The precinct had long since tried to establish contact, which could be a good thing. The precinct would know something had gone wrong. Daniel and Alex were listed as missing and their last call in would be the center of a search for them. Outside this place colleagues and peers would be waiting for support in getting their guys out alive. Unfortunately, Daniel couldn’t see being alive much longer as an option. Alex tried talking but Ansell ignored every word. Daniel attempted to talk. Nothing.
Then Ansell made a mistake.
“On your knees,” he said evenly. Evidently he had decided what he was going to do. Alex looked at Daniel and for a second their eyes met. A wealth of information passed between them. Getting them on their knees was an execution-style killing.
Special Forces maybe? Alex nodded subtly and suddenly Daniel knew what his friend was going to do. As the superior officer of the two, he probably felt it was his responsibility to do something—something that was most likely going to be stupid.
There was no way this would end well. Causing a disturbance, getting the guy’s attention away from them, was going to end with one of them getting shot. Alex was a daddy; hell, Daniel couldn’t leave Emma without her daddy.
Daniel didn’t even hesitate. When he made to move to his knees he stumbled and it was just enough to catch Ansell a little off guard. Suddenly Daniel had his moment. In a second he had his hand on the gun and everything stopped. The bullet left the gun and dug deep into his thigh at an angle, but he had a grip of the gun and was able to
hang on tightly through the breath-stealing pain. When Alex was shouting and helping and pulling him away there was another bullet fired. Daniel couldn’t see what had happened as a mask had fallen over his eyes, and with the single thought for what his parents and Chris would think, he allowed his conscious self to subside.
* * * *
Chris felt tonight had been different. No Daniel, for one. He had been called in early for his shift and never made it home. Chris really tried not to worry, but he had a serious investment in the other man, was emotionally tied to him in ways he had never imagined.
He’d had one phone call. Just past three am, his cell vibrated itself onto the floor before he was fully awake enough to reach for it. Cursing, he grabbed at it, seeing Daniel’s name on the display. He pressed buttons to answer but the vibration had stopped, clearly he was just barely too slow. It was okay, Daniel was probably leaving a message.
He waited until the phone indicated a message and he immediately tried to contact Daniel, but it went straight to voicemail. Damn. He scrolled to his own voicemail and connected: one message.
“Hi. I’ve just—jeez—Chris, I just wanted to tell you I love you. Sorry we don’t have more time.” Daniel’s voice was low and controlled and incredibly calm, but ice shivered down Chris’s spine and in seconds he was off the bed and pulling on jeans. He picked the cell up again, tried keying Daniel’s number, but again nothing, straight to voicemail.
He needed to call someone. Shit, he realized he didn’t even know what precinct Daniel was with, so twisted up in his own problems he had never really asked.
It wasn’t near here, it was on the other side of the city—wait, Daniel had called his brother to find out where Chris was, maybe Andy would know?
Andy’s voice was slurred and sleepy, but within seconds he must have picked up on the confusion in his brother’s voice and then he was lucid and able to give some idea of how to go about finding Daniel.
“Why do you need to talk to him?”
“The message he left me—it seemed wrong.”
The coffee was lukewarm, and the somewhat suspicious looks he was getting from the guy in charge were enough to freeze what was left of the dishwater-strong caffeine in the plastic cup. It certainly wasn’t quality like he would get at Ame’s, but then he wasn’t exactly sitting pretty in the warm coffee shop dispensing caffeine and muffins to New Yorkers. In fact, he hadn’t set foot in Ame’s since he had left on a mission to find out what the hell had happened to his lover.
No one had helped him; no one would tell him anything. He was only informed that “Officer Daniel Bailey was on duty, and when he returned a message would be given to him.” It went from bad to worse when not even the cop he recognized from the second time Daniel visited the coffee shop would look him in the eye.
In the end he slid past busy, rushing cops and ended up in some kind of main office, placing his cell on the first available desk and talking loud enough so the cop flicking through papers actually listened to him.
“My friend left a message for me” was all Chris said, playing back the few words, wanting to shout, see, I’m important to him, but not really clear on how much Daniel’s colleagues knew of him being gay or not. He wanted to demand answers; surely they had some way of contacting Daniel, telling him that his friend Chris was worried. The cop at the desk, Johnson by the name on the badge on his chest, finally stopped filing the papers and glanced up. The entire room had fallen silent, uniformed and plainclothes alike, everyone just stopped. Chris looked around, tension coiling inside him. Something was wrong here. Reaching forward, the cop picked up the cell and then gestured for Chris to follow.
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