“Better?”
“Um...” It was the last thing Sky remembered saying before she tumbled over an abyss and fell into the deepest sleep she’d ever experienced. Gray’s arms were around her, holding her safe, holding her together when she felt as if she were being torn apart in slow motion with no way to stop it.
Gray closed his eyes, feeling his worry recede as Sky, even in her sleep, snuggled as deep as she could against him, her breath soft and shallow against his neck. God, this was what he needed, too. He needed Sky. For the rest of his life. Exhaustion claimed him shortly afterward, and Gray slept deeply, the woman he loved like breath itself safe in his arms.
* * *
WHEN SKY SLOWLY AWOKE, Gray was propped up on one elbow beside her, watching her. The tenderness in his eyes made her feel incredibly desired. “What time is it?” she asked thickly, rubbing her eyes.
“6:00 p.m.”
Sky started, but Gray reached out, his hand on her shoulder, keeping her on the bed. “I called your mother and told her you were worn-out. She understood and said for you to come to the hospital tomorrow morning.”
Relief fled through her, and she relaxed. “And Dad? How is he?”
“Improving to the point to where your father’s bitching got him sent out of ICU to a private room,” he said with a grin. “Your mom said the blood clot in your dad’s lung is gone. The doctor wants to keep him in the hospital for another two days for observation.”
It felt as if a huge weight had suddenly been lifted off Sky’s heart. Tears leaked into her eyes, and Gray’s face blurred for a moment. “That’s the best news ever,” she quavered. Her dad was going to live! And then a sob tore out of her, and Sky felt Gray bring her into the shelter of his arms.
“It’s okay, baby, go ahead and get it out,” he urged thickly, kissing her hair and smoothing his hand across her shaking shoulders. He knew her father’s admissions of being in black ops had torn her up. Gray wondered if it had brought back the terrifying memories of her own torture again. Sky looked so damned fragile that it scared the hell out of him, as if she were barely able to hold it together. “It’s going to be all right, Sky,” he rasped against her ear. “Everything’s going to be all right. You have me, and I love you, baby....”
Gray didn’t even realize he’d whispered these words until they were out of his mouth. He doubted Sky heard them; she was weeping as if she’d lost everything. Moving his hand gently up and down her back, he understood that one trauma could domino-effect the inner PTSD trauma in a person. Judging from Sky’s tense phone calls to him last night about her mother and her father, she had been strung too thin. Everyone had a breaking point.
He moved her silky hair aside, kissing the nape of her neck, whispering words he hoped would be healing for her. Gray knew he couldn’t take away Sky’s pain even though he wanted to. Every person had to walk that damn gauntlet alone. What he could do, the reason he came, was to be a safe harbor for her.
* * *
SOMETIME LATER, SHE QUIETED, hiding her face between her hands, nestled against him, her breath jerky. The tension had left her, and Gray could once more feel the relaxation of her shoulders beneath his hand. He kissed her cheek and felt the velvet softness of her fragrant skin. Her scent drove him crazy with need. He wished he could put into words how good, how clean, she always smelled to him. That honeylike sweetness to her flesh. Gray inhaled her fragrance deeply into himself. He gently moved her tousled hair aside, uncovering her face. Sky slowly allowed her hands to drop away, her eyes reddened and swollen.
“Better?” he asked, kissing her hair.
Giving a nod, Sky whispered, “Thank you.... I needed you so badly, Gray. You must have felt me or something.”
He slid his thumb across her damp cheek, drying it. “I heard it in your voice last night, baby. I knew I had to do something. We all need one another every now and then.” Gray slid his finger beneath her chin, lifting it enough so that their eyes met. “I love you, Sky.”
His thick, emotional words fell over her like the warmest blanket in the world. Reaching up, she took his hand, wrapping it in her own against her chest, over her heart. “I love you so much, Gray,” she quavered.
But how would he react to her news, that they were going to have a baby? At the worst, Gray could be upset and walk out of her life. But that didn’t seem likely. A baby changed everything, though, and Gray might not want this new responsibility. Sky felt her stomach tighten with a fear so devastating, it took her breath away. She closed her eyes, burrowing her head against his shoulder, her palm against his heart, desperate for the calm he always fed her.
Gray frowned. “Sky, talk to me,” he whispered against her cheek. “There’s something wrong. I can feel it. What else is bothering you, baby?”
Sky took a deep breath and slowly extricated herself from Gray’s arms. She sat up, her hair tumbling across her shoulders as she crossed her legs. She faced him. “There’s no other way to say this, Gray.” Sky held his gaze and swallowed painfully. She whispered, “I’m pregnant. I found out yesterday at the hospital.”
Gray slowly sat up, his eyes never leaving hers. “Are you happy about it?” he asked, slipping her cold, damp hand into his.
She gave a painful nod, her voice unsteady. “You know how much I love children...the babies...”
He smiled tenderly and reached out, bringing her into his arms. “Then I’m the second happiest person in the world, Sky.” Gray looked down into her eyes that glistened with such love for him. “Must have had a condom accident,” he teased, wanting the fear to leave her eyes.
Nodding, she said, “It must have been.”
“How far along are you?” Gray slid his hand gently across her belly, allowing it to stay there, wanting her to know he wanted her, wanted the child she carried within her.
“I talked to a doctor yesterday afternoon. She said I’m three months along.”
“And you have morning sickness?”
“Yes,” Sky whispered. Searching his face, seeing the curve of his mouth, she asked, “You aren’t upset, Gray?”
He moved his hand tenderly across her belly. “Shocked, yes. Unhappy? Never.” Gray cupped her cheek, guiding her mouth to his. “I love you, Sky. I don’t care when we have children. I always knew you’d be a good mother, and now I get a chance to try and be half as good a father.” His mouth closed over her soft, opening lips. Gray felt his heart expand until he thought it might burst with blinding joy. No wonder she’d been so emotional the past few months. It all made sense now.
As Gray kissed her, he felt her melt into his arms, surrendering utterly to him. She was pregnant. Carrying his child. A flood of raw, jubilant emotions tunneled through Gray as he realized their loving one another had created a new, living being. The child was a symbol of the goodness they had brought to one another, the healthy love that could only happen when you saw the world through the other’s eyes.
“I love you,” he rasped. “Sky, no matter what happens in our lives, you hold on to that.” He opened his eyes, staring into her gold-flecked blue eyes. Now there was happiness glistening in them. The fear was gone.
* * *
LITTLE BY LITTLE, Sky felt life dripping back into herself. Gray had drawn her a hot bath and then carried her down to the bathroom, telling her that he could carry her when she felt tired. And then Gray left for the kitchen and found enough food to make them a late-afternoon snack.
They sat at the table afterward, and Sky could actually feel herself reawakening. It was a strange sensation, one that she’d experienced once after being rescued by the SEALs. She had pulled her hair into a ponytail as Gray served them turkey sandwiches on whole-wheat bread. He’d thoughtfully made a salad, too. Grabbing the chair, Gray sat down at her elbow.
“Did you talk to the gynecologist about prenatal vitamins? What you should be eating?”
Sky smiled a little. “Yes, she gave me some. I told her I’d see Jordana when I flew home.”
He arched a brow and jabbed a finger at the salad beside her plate. “Then all the more reason to eat lots of raw veggies in your diet. Good nutrition in them for you and our baby.”
Her smile widened, and she shook her head.
“What?” Gray teased. “You think I’m going to become a helicopter father hovering around you? Asking if you took your prenatal vitamins every day?”
Warmth flowed through her as never before as she took a small bite of the sandwich. “I wasn’t expecting this kind of reaction from you, I guess.”
“No?” He dug into his salad with gusto. “You were worried I’d walk away?”
Sky felt ashamed. “Gray, there were a hundred different reactions you could have had, including that one.” She saw him lift his head, his eyes warm with love for her. How could she have ever questioned Gray about his reaction to her being pregnant? He’d always done the right thing by her. Always.
“I imagine you had a list,” Gray teased her lightly. Reaching out, he grazed her wan cheek. “You’re human, Sky. You went through a helluva lot with your parents before you found out you were pregnant. If I were in your shoes, punch-drunk from so many emotional hits, I wouldn’t be clear about it, either.”
“Right now,” she admitted, “all I want to do is go home and rest. I feel tired to my soul, Gray.”
“You’ve run an emotional marathon by yourself,” he told her quietly. “I’ve already got plane tickets for tomorrow afternoon. What you need is some downtime, Sky. Some fresh Wyoming air, a certain little white wolf to come and lick your hand and then to just lay around with your feet propped up.”
She forced herself to eat for her baby. Sky had no appetite, but she’d seen this pattern in herself before. In time, it would leave, and she was sure she’d start eating for two. “Are you going to spoil me even more rotten than you do already?” she teased softly, watching his grin widen.
“Baby, you have no idea of how much I’m going to spoil you. I want you and our son or daughter to have a peaceful six months.”
“Well,” Sky said, managing a short chuckle, “this happened three months ago, and these have been the happiest months of my life, Gray.” She held his gaze that told her how deeply he loved her. “My parents don’t know yet....”
“We’ll swing by tomorrow morning before we leave for the airport, and we’ll tell them.” Gray saw a little color coming back to Sky’s cheeks. There was relief along with hope in her eyes, thank God. He knew how wicked PTSD symptoms could be. They distorted normal human reality and emotions.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
“How do you think it will affect your father?”
“I think he’ll be happy. He’s desperate to patch things up with me.”
“Nothing like becoming a doting grandfather to strengthen the ties that bind.”
“He’s been a really wonderful dad to me, Gray, except for this one episode. And I know he feels so guilty about it.”
“Then,” Gray said, “holding his grandchild in his hands six months from now is probably going to be one of the most healing things that could have ever happened between you two.”
“It’s already helping me,” Sky admitted. “Now that I understand why I was getting so tired, my breasts enlarging, feeling even more exhausted than usual, I can relax. I thought I was getting some kind of a disease or something.”
Gray chuckled and nodded. “So much for being an R.N., right?”
It felt so good to laugh instead of cry. To hear that rumble in his chest and see that wide smile of Gray’s that changed his face in a remarkable way. “Bingo,” she said, matching his smile. She told him about Christine and how she’d sized up the situation and pronounced her pregnant.
“Christine’s good,” Gray agreed, finishing off the salad and putting the bowl aside. “Really good.”
“The best,” Sky murmured. “She was very kind toward me.”
“You R.N.s are all the same,” he said. “Big hearts and endless love for the rest of us poor bastards.”
Sky laughed again, feeling lightness invading her, chasing away the darkness. “How do you think Iris and Rudd will take all this?”
With a shrug, Gray said, “Knowing them, they’ll feel like cosmic grandparents to our little tyke.”
“But I worry she won’t let me work.”
Gray gave her a flat look. “Baby, you are not working. You’re going to live with me, let me make you happy and pursue hobbies like knitting while you’re pregnant. I don’t want you stressed right now, Sky. You’ve been through enough.” He saw her considering his arguments. “Look, you just got handed a left hook with your father’s two illnesses that occurred months apart. You’re still in the middle of healing from your PTSD. Don’t you think you deserve a little R and R? A chance to recoup?”
“I never looked at that yet, Gray. Being told I was pregnant yesterday threw me into a completely new loop.”
He reached out, covering her hand. “Then let me think outside the box a little for you. I want you focused on yourself, Sky. And our baby. I make more than enough money. And Iris is not stingy when it comes to hiring good people and paying them well for their knowledge. Baby, you don’t have to lift a finger to make another dollar if you don’t want to.”
Her world was changing so quickly, Sky couldn’t absorb it all. Threading her fingers through Gray’s, she said, “There’s a lot to think about, Gray. I just need some time to sort through it all.”
“Yes,” he agreed gently. “About now you probably feel like a shuttlecock being batted back and forth in a badminton game.”
She grinned a little. “That pretty much sums it up.”
“First things first,” Gray said. “Finish your sandwich, and then I want you to go lie down and get more sleep.”
“And what will you be doing?”
“Making a few phone calls,” he hedged, giving the back of her hand a kiss, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
SKY AWOKE SLOWLY. Her nose twitched. She smelled fresh coffee. Warm and snuggled into the pillow, she cracked open her eyes. Sunlight was pouring in around the drapes in her bedroom.
Gray?
Automatically, she turned over on her back, her arm moving outward to touch him. His side of the bed was empty. Drowsy and feeling almost drugged, Sky forced herself to sit up, her hair mussed around her face. The clock read 9:00 a.m. She hadn’t meant to sleep that long!
“Hey,” Gray called from the open bedroom door, “want some coffee, sleepyhead?”
Sky instantly relaxed, seeing him lounge casually against the entrance, a cup of coffee in his hand. The sleep must have done her a lot of good because as she gazed over at Gray, who was dressed in a black T-shirt that outlined his broad chest and shoulders, she felt her body grow warm with yearning. Pushing the hair off her face, her voice thick, she said, “That smells wonderful.”
“Figured you’d want some,” he said. Gray entered the bedroom and sat down, their hips touching.
Never had he wanted to love Sky more than right now. Her eyes, once red and swollen, were back to normal. As Gray handed her the cup, he saw there were no longer smudges beneath her eyes. Sky felt solid, like her old self, and he breathed an inner sigh of relief.
He was content to sit there in the silence of the warming bedroom, the song of a robin somewhere outside the open window, which allowed fresh air to flow into the area. Laying his hand on her blanketed thigh, he asked, “Better this morning?”
She managed a nod. “Much.” Drowning in his hazel eyes, the green and gold telling her that Gray wanted to love her, she smiled a little. “I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck. I’m so drowsy. I can hardly ge
t out of that sensation of wanting to sleep more.”
“You slept deep.” Gray looked at the watch on his wrist. “From 8:00 p.m. last night to 9:00 a.m. Thirteen hours.” He slid his hand slowly up and down her thigh, giving her a warm look. “You needed every hour, Sky. You look good this morning.”
“Do you really think I’m going to sleep like this throughout my pregnancy?”
“Well, you do need your rest. You just went through a major life test under your own power, and now you need time to get back on your feet.”
“Mmm,” Sky whispered. “I feel like a boxer that’s gone fifteen rounds—bloody, reeling and stunned.”
Gray smiled a little and nudged some strands of her uncombed hair across her shoulder. The lace of her white nightgown made Sky look so damned feminine. Vulnerable. A Madonna. “I can’t imagine what you went through,” he told her, serious.
“Has my mom called yet? How is my dad?”
“I called her earlier this morning, and she’s fine. She said your dad is starving to death, wanting a big breakfast, but they’re giving him gruel instead.” He grinned a little, watching her eyes alight with relief, the worry dissolving in them. “She said to take your time coming over. Your mom realizes how tired you are from everything.”
Sky crossed her legs beneath the covers, resting her elbows on her thighs, the cup cradled between her hands. “I wonder how they’ll take our news.”
“After getting over the shock, they’ll probably be two of the happiest people on the planet.” Gray touched her chin and leaned forward, grazing her lips. “Except for us, of course.”
Heat skittered right to her core. She felt her breasts growing taut. Her nipples hardened instantly, feeling supersensitive against the soft cotton of her nightgown. Now Sky understood why her orgasms had felt more intense, her nipples far more sensitive to Gray’s touch than normal. “I hope you’re right. I just worry it’s one more shock on a bunch that my parents have had to deal with.”
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