by Imy Santiago
“No, I’m on assignment, but when I get back, I’d like to take Catalina−that’s my girlfriend−away on holiday. Hopefully if I have the guts, I’ll ask her to marry me, and hopefully she’ll say yes.”
“Ah, I see. It’s always nerve-wracking, Stryder. Come, dear, let’s look at some options. If you find the one you’re looking for you can order it here, and pick it up at your local shop as we can ship it there too.”
I don’t tell her that I’ve done this before. She doesn’t know why I’m so fucking nervous this time around. I mean, why would she? The first time I did this sort of thing I was blindly in love with Olivia, the woman who betrayed me, and this time around I’m unquestionably and undoubtedly in love with Catalina Pardo. Just thinking about her makes me smile and my heart thud.
“Ah, thinking about your lady, I see,” Ella says, stating the obvious.
I nod. “Indeed. Here’s what I’m looking for.”
I’m walking like a jolly idiot back to the hotel. If it didn’t make me look like a lunatic, I’d probably do a couple of cartwheels and back-flips because the happy buzzing in my heart has me on a natural high. My phone rings in my pocket and I smile when I see who it is.
“Jax! How are you, little brother?”
“I’m good, Captain Chipper. Damn, you sound really happy!” Jackson chuckles.
I laugh at his spot-on assessment. “I’m great, man. I got it. Number three.”
“Umm, not sure I’m following, Jupiter.”
I stop walking. “I got the ring, Jax.”
“Holy shit, man. For real?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been surer of anything in my life. Catalina is the one, Jax.”
“Dude, I’m so fucking proud of you! When are you going to pop the question?”
“I don’t know. I’m going to wait until I get back and pray for the best. How is she?” I ask, and continue my walk towards the hotel.
“She’s good. Cat’s been on top of my appointments and stuff. She’s been super supportive, and she’s doing another piece for Xsports. The girl was moping, but her new hobby is making her really happy.”
“She’s been working out, right?”
Jax laughs, and replies, “Yeah, what else did you think?”
“I don’t know, Jax. You can be cryptic at times.”
“Whatever, man. Less than one week to go. Your dick must be thrilled.”
I sigh, and Jax says, “You’re not coming back on the thirteenth?”
“No . . . Work got extended by a week. I sent Cat a text letting her know when I got the news, but haven’t heard from her yet. Is she up?”
“Nah . . . She is zonked out. I couldn’t sleep so I hit the gym and then called you. She’ll be fine.”
“The gym? You got cleared to do that?”
Jackson chuckles. “Yeah, I did. The doc says I can hit the slopes in a few weeks. I have one more week of physical therapy, and then a follow-up with the medical team. So far, so good!”
I smile, listening to his old bubbly self. “That’s great. I’d love to be there when you take your first ride, and I’m sure Cat would love it too.”
We banter back and forth for a bit and then end the call. As I walk through the door of my suite, I throw my access keycard and cell on my bed. The sun is beginning to set, so I open the glass doors of the lanai. The sky is painted with red, orange, yellow, and blue. In the photography world, this is considered magic hour- the perfect moment to take stunning pictures. Resting my palms against the balcony railing, I close my eyes and point my chin to the sun.
Just be patient, Stryder, it’s only two more weeks. You can do this.
“Simon said you were second-guessing this assignment when it was first proposed to you, Mr. Martynus. I appreciate you coming over here for the competitions. By now you must be homesick,” Mr. Smith says, while puffing on a cigar.
I take a sip from my rye, smiling. “I wasn’t expecting spending an extra week, but the experience has been great. The reason why I made the sacrifice to be here was to work with you, Mr. Smith. It has been a real honor.”
“Well, how can I make up that extra week for you? If you have a special lady, maybe you can whisk her away to one of my properties. You have eleven to choose from,” he chuckles.
I straighten in my seat and say, “Funny you mention that. I’ve been making arrangements but one of the rental properties I was looking at in the Caribbean fell through. There’s this one place I want to take her.”
“Tell me where, and I’ll make it happen.” Mr. Smith asserts.
I can’t conceal my satisfaction as I mark a dramatic ‘X’ over today’s date on my calendar. The sound the marker makes as I snap it shut makes me smile. I am determined more than ever to make the most of my time left in Australia. I don’t know when I’ll be back, and Aussies have been welcoming and have made my stay far more enjoyable than I ever imagined possible.
Part of the assignment has kept me on its Gold Coast beaches which are probably the best for surfing in the Eastern Hemisphere. I’ve made it a point to take small excursions inland on my days off, and even took a flight to Perth to explore that part of the continent. It doesn’t matter where I’ve been, watching kangaroos hop across the arid desert lands, or taking a walk through a vineyard, my mind has kept me far away from where I am. I haven’t heard from Catalina in a few days, and while the time zones keep us far apart, my insecurities take me to that dark place in my mind all thanks to my past with Olivia.
I pick up my phone with nervous hands, and text Catalina.
My phone chirps and my heart drops in my chest when I see it’s her. Olivia.
I look at my phone in confusion, and type up a reply.
There are two pictures underneath Olivia’s latest text. I look at the blurry pictures, and shake my head in confusion. Jax and Catalina are in a tight embrace, and Jax’s face is buried in Catalina’s as if kissing her on the mouth. My hands begin to tremble, and bile threatens to rise.
I want to think that everything isn’t as it seems, but some irrational part of me quickly dismisses the idea. Jackson-motherfucking-Reese. How could he do this to me? The devil’s seed of doubt planted by Olivia many years ago returns full force, and I look at the picture again trying to piece it out. It’s obvious it was taken at a club and Catalina doesn’t dance unless it’s with me . . . so what the fuck were they doing? There’s only one person who can give me answers. Olivia.
I throw my phone on the bed, and stalk towards the mini-bar. I find a slew of miniature liquor bottles and go to town. The burn in my stomach and throat pale in comparison to the pain I feel in my chest. I never imagined they would be capable of doing something like this. Jackson better run and hide because the next time I see him I will snap his fucking dick in half.
Catalina . . . My anger is quickly replaced with heartbreak. Fuck, baby. How could you do this to me?
One by one I throw the empty liquor bottles against the pristine white wall, and the splitting sounds of broken glass ring in the silence of the room. After the last bottle is thrown, I collapse to my knees, and raise my hands to cradle my head against the barrage of thoughts consuming me. These past weeks I’ve spent missing my Raven Girl, counting the minutes until I can be with her again, only to be cheated on. Again.
I cry bitter tears of frustration on the floor of my suite; my drunken state forcing me to curl into myself. A part of me wants to call the airline and get my fucking ass on the first flight out, but I have responsibilities that keep me grounded. As I consider my predicament, a part of me begins t
o reconsider the pictures, and the more I think about them, the more I think I need to calm the fuck down.
As my tears subside I put what few facts I have on a scale, and arrive at the same conclusion every time. Olivia. I contemplate a theory of destruction devised by her. Surely there’s an explanation for the picture, and there’s only one person I need to confront about this: Jax. I glance at my watch; he’ll be asleep. But the more I think about it, the more I know I can’t take care of this bullshit over the phone. I need to see the look in their eyes when I confront them, even if the wait kills me.
Right now I need to calm down, center myself and brace myself for the worst. Until then, I will not contact either of them, or Olivia either. I’m done with her, whatever the truth about Catalina and Jackson. You can only fool me once.
IT’S BEEN A WEEK AND a half since I last heard from Stryder, and I’m starting to believe something is wrong. Since he’s been on assignment, we’ve kept up constant communication and we’ve never gone such a long stretch without talking. All of my text messages and voicemails have gone unanswered. Perhaps he’s too wrapped up moving from location to location. Whatever the case, it disappoints me to have to wait another week to see him again. The last time we spoke was the morning Kathryn and Gregg invited me to Hellbenders. Kathryn says it will help build my self-confidence, or lack thereof, if I dance in a room full of people.
Jackson and I danced a rumba, and it took everything in me not to laugh hysterically at his blatant invasion of my personal space, but that’s the nature of the dance or so I’ve been taught. After we danced, we bumped into Olivia Reese who was home for the weekend, and I have this unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach Stryder’s radio silence has something to do with her. She didn’t say much, but had a smug smile on her face, like the cat that ate the canary. I don’t know . . . Perhaps I’m putting too much thought into it? I’d like to think she’s changed her ways after her brother’s near-death experience, but then again, people don’t change overnight.
I’ve focused all of my frustration into dancing, and it shows. I feel like a different person when I’m on the dance floor, a feeling I’ve experienced before when I snowboarded for the first time. Dancing isn’t as difficult as I thought it would be, and I can’t wait to show off my new skills to Stryder when he returns. I don’t know when he’ll be back, and not knowing has me on edge. He is due to return any day now, and I’d like to think his lack of communication is because he wants to surprise me. I pray with all of my being that’s the case.
“Earth to Catalina!” Kathryn scolds as I miss a step. I raise my head to meet her gaze, and worry my lip in acknowledgment.
“Sorry. I’m just a little out of it today. Can we start again?”
“Come on, girl. Jupiter is due back any day now. We need to get this choreography perfect so you can blow him away with your sexy hips.” Kathryn stands beside me and looks into the mirror. “From the top! One, two, three . . .”
I’m shocked I’m able to finish the class without major incident. I know I could’ve done better, but thinking about Stryder has me off my game. As I’m packing my bags to leave the studio, Kathryn stops me.
“What’s bugging you, Cat? You were out of it today.”
I put my bag over my shoulder and huff. “I haven’t heard from Stryder in over a week. I can’t help but think your sister has something to do with it. I’m sorry if I’m bad-mouthing her here, but I wouldn’t put it past her to fuck with our relationship.”
“Sit down,” Kathryn says, and I do. “Olivia may be many things . . . Manipulative and a total brat, but I think she’s over Jupiter. I mean, she has to be, right? You’re here and part of our family, not to mention Jackson was found thanks to you. I don’t think she’d be dumb enough to stir shit up to put tension between you guys. She’s my baby sister, and naturally I’m going to think the best of her . . .”
I bite my lip.
“Having said that, I also know a desperate woman is capable of anything. Trust me when I say, if she’s up to no good she’ll have to answer to me.”
I nod and exhale a shaky breath. “I hope you’re right, Kathryn. I have a bad feeling about this and I just can’t shake it.” I pat her leg before rising. The chimes on the studio door ring, and Jackson comes in with an ear-splitting grin on his face.
“I got the green light to hit the pow again!” he announces. Kathryn and I look at each other and run to hug him.
“Oh my goodness! That is fantastic news, Jax!” I practically scream. Kathryn follows with a cheer.
After saying our farewells, Jackson and I leave the studio with a skip in our step.
“I’m not going to lie,” he says on the drive home. “I’m kind of shitting my pants here, Cat. It’s one thing to get the go-ahead to snowboard, another to overcome my fear of another avie taking me under.”
I reach out to squeeze his knee as he drives us back to the ranch. I totally understand where he’s coming from. Before we met I was traumatized by the snow, as it was a constant reminder of all that I lost, but it was the same thing that patched my broken heart.
“Jax, you need to go back up there and prove to yourself you can do it. You have it in you to give it your all. For too long I lived in fear so much that it paralyzed me, and I wasted so much time dwelling on the past. I know you know this by now, but you will be fine. I’ll be by your side every step of the way. Just promise me you’ll start slow. No heli jumps until you feel ready.”
Jackson nods, but says nothing, not that he needs to. I can tell by the shake in his hands as he death-grips the steering wheel he’s scared shitless. We arrive at the ranch with our hands clasped tightly together. As we walk into the foyer, I notice there’s a suitcase by the door. My heart skips a beat when I see Stryder sitting on the bottom step of the staircase. He has a gloomy face, sunken eyes, and a full beard. My heart stops when our eyes meet. The urge to run into his arms is great, but his body language freezes me on the spot.
“Jupiter! Welcome home, man!” Jackson greets to Stryder.
Stryder rises, and what happens next shocks the ever living shit out of me. He blindsides Jackson with a punch on the jaw the sound of flesh meeting flesh makes my entire body shake.
“What the fuck, man? What’d you do that for?” Jackson exclaims as he cradles his bruised jaw.
“You have the gall to ask me that, you fucking piece of shit?!” Stryder roars, and I jump. “You thought me being across the world was the perfect opportunity to make a move? I just wanted to see if this was true, and lo and behold, you walking through that door holding hands. You two must’ve had a real good laugh at my expense, huh?”
I take one step forward and raise my hands. “What is going on, Stryder?” I whisper as tears fill my eyes.
“Just don’t, Catalina. Don’t you fucking dare! I thought you were different, but you’re just like everyone else,” Stryder spews, hatred evident in his eyes.
“Dude, what the fuck is going on, man? What the hell are you talking about?!” Jackson bellows, heaving with both of his fists balled.
“Wow. It amazes me how stupid you must really think I am. The kiss, Jackson! I’m talking about the motherfucking kiss at Hellbenders, you sack of shit.”
It’s right then and there I realize my suspicions about Olivia were spot-on. She must’ve reported back to Stryder we were at Hellbenders, but we’ve never kissed.
“Clearly your qualm is with me, Stryder,” I state, as I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand.
“Damn straight it is. Save me your tears, Catalina. It’s too late for regrets, sweetheart,” he patronizes, his voice laced with disdain. “I was in fucking Australia counting the days until I could be back here with you, and I have to admit I never saw this shit coming, especially from you. I’m disappointed, Catalina. I really am.”
I step forward in an attempt to look deeper into his eyes, but all I see are hurt and anger. It takes a lot of effort not to take his words to heart. I know we say things
in passion, in the heat of the moment and the majority of the time we don’t mean them, but Stryder is under an illusion I somehow caused him great hurt.
“You think I cheated on you,” I deadpan.
“I don’t think, Catalina. I know.”
“Then show me your proof, Stryder Martynus. Let me tell you, I have done no such thing, and I never will!”
Stryder shoves his hand into the front pocket of his jeans and retrieves his cell phone. After several angry taps, he dumps it into my hands. “Look.”
The images are very grainy. It was obviously taken at a considerable distance, and the zoom feature distorted them a bit. It’s a picture of Jackson and me dancing. It does look like he is kissing me, but that is just the angle. Jackson never kissed me on the lips, and for Stryder to even consider I’d be capable of cheating breaks my heart.
With determined steps, I walk to where Jackson is standing by the staircase. Shaking my head, I give him Stryder’s phone. “Look at this shit.”
Jackson glances at the picture and laughs so hard he almost drops the phone. In the blink of an eye Stryder tackles Jackson and violently presses his forearm against his neck, pinning him against the wall.
“No!” I scream.
“What, Catalina? Are you worried I’m going to break your lover’s face into pieces?” he growls, looking at me square in the eye. He turns his head and focuses on Jackson. “You think it’s funny to steal the love of my life from me, huh? Do you think it’s hysterical for me to be across the world and have to deal with this kind of shit? It’s bad enough I had to put up with your sister’s bullshit, but you, brother? That title no longer suits you. You mean nothing to me! You are dead to me!”
Jackson blinks rapidly, panicked. “Dude, no! I’d never do this to you!” He looks in my direction. “Don’t take offense, Catalina. You’re cute and all, but I don’t like you in that way. Let us explain, man,” he says to Stryder. “It’s not what you think, but you have to let go of me!”
Stryder’s breathing is heavy, and my hands cradle my belly in anxiety. “Stryder! Let him go!”