Stay At Home Dead

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Stay At Home Dead Page 10

by Jeffrey Allen


  “No. He came to see me. Says he’s doing some sort of background check on me but wouldn’t tell me for who.”

  “Probably those ladies at Carly’s school,” he said, a sly smile forming on his face.

  That had definitely crossed my mind. But the time frame didn’t make sense. If the guy was doing a true background check, it would take more than a day or two. The emergency meeting was tonight. He wouldn’t have had the time to get them whatever he was looking for.

  “Doing a background check isn’t illegal, Deuce,” Cedric said, circling the thermos with both hands. “They happen all the time.”

  “I know. It just seemed weird, with everything going on.”

  “You think it’s related to Benny?”

  “Timing of it seems pretty coincidental.”

  He thought about that for a moment, then frowned like he thought I was wrong. “The timing is coincidental. But from a law enforcement standpoint, the only person who’d be looking into your background regarding Benny would be Willie Bell.” He processed his own words, then shook his head firmly. “And he wouldn’t hire that out. There’s no reason. He can do it himself, and he can do it faster.”

  That made sense. And Bell seemed like the kind of guy who would enjoy doing that stuff all by himself.

  “If you’re looking for something to tie it to,” Cedric offered, “I think you’d be better off thinking about your restraining order.”

  “How’s that?”

  He sipped from the coffee. “If somebody is looking to give a restraining order some teeth, they have to go looking for the teeth.”

  “I’m not following, Cedric.”

  He peered over the thermos at me. “The restraining order is only temporary. It will expire. If Shayna wants it to stick against you, she’s gonna need to show cause.”

  I shifted in the uncomfortable chair and watched a few cars drive past us. I still didn’t understand the restraining order, yet I couldn’t get close enough to Shayna to ask her about it. If Cedric was right and she had hired an investigator to cement her claim, then she was serious, which, until that moment, I didn’t think she was. I had played my visit to her house over in my head a dozen times and kept coming to the same conclusion.

  I didn’t do anything wrong.

  “I’m not saying that’s a sure thing,” Cedric said. “But if you’re looking for a reason as to why that little munchkin might be digging in your garden, that might fit.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ll keep an ear open on it.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “Got another question for you.”

  “Good Lord, Deuce. This what stay-at-home dads get to do all day? Go around asking questions?”

  I laughed. “No. You know the guy that runs Tough Tykes? Jimmy Landry?”

  “Little bit. Why?”

  “I don’t know. Not what I was expecting. Met him yesterday. Seemed like a good guy.”

  “What were you expecting?”

  “Not sure. Just not what he was. He offered me a job.”

  Cedric pushed the brim of the hat up a little higher. “Doesn’t he know how busy this job keeps you? Who would I chat with if you took another job?”

  “Coaching,” I said, ignoring the jab. “He’s running some summer football camps, and he asked if I’d be interested in helping out.”

  “Well, that guy’s pretty smart, then.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “If he can put your name on his flyers in this town, that oughta sell out his camps in about three seconds.”

  “I doubt that.”

  Cedric frowned. “Son, I have always appreciated your modesty. Your parents did right by you. But if you think the words Deuce Winters and football don’t still get people fired up around here, you are sadly mistaken.”

  On cue, my knee throbbed and I rubbed it, like I wanted to rub away the memories, too.

  “People will go nut crazy to get their kids on a field with you,” Cedric said. “And don’t take me the wrong way. I think that’s a good thing. Kids would be lucky to have you screaming and yelling at them.”

  It was a nice thing for him to say.

  “Of course, maybe them ladies at the school might try to have you removed from there, too.”

  That, however, wasn’t so nice.

  29

  Carly and I dropped off some clothes at the cleaners, stopped at the bank to deposit a check, and then headed home.

  Billy Caldwell was waiting in our driveway.

  We really needed to look into moving to a gated community. Dwarves yesterday, jerks today.

  Carly immediately recognized him from when he was in our living room several days prior. “That’s that man with the boots.”

  “Yes, it is,” I said, unbuckling her seat belt.

  Her little brows furrowed together. “I don’t like him.”

  “Me either.”

  She jumped out of the car and grabbed my hand. “Let’s go inside, Daddy.” She led me around the van.

  Billy greeted us with a half wave. “Hello, Deuce.”

  “Stay right there,” I said to him as Carly led me in a wide circle around him and up the steps to our front porch. I opened the front door and wriggled my hand free from hers. “I have to go talk to him. I’ll be in in a minute, okay?”

  “I’ll watch from in here,” she said.

  “That’s fine. It’ll just take a minute.”

  “Watch out for his boots, Daddy.”

  I left her behind the screen door, standing there with a serious look on her face, as if she might charge out and bite Billy in the shin if he tried anything shifty.

  I hopped down the stairs and met Billy in the driveway. “What do you want?”

  He looked past me, up at the house. “I was gonna apologize to your little girl, Deuce. For the other night.”

  “She doesn’t like you, Billy,” I said. “She’s a smart kid. She doesn’t need you apologizing to her.”

  His cheeks reddened, and he fiddled with the bright green tie knotted at his neck. The suit today was light gray with pinstripes; the shirt was a light green. The boots were still ugly.

  “You don’t need to be like that, Deuce,” he said.

  “I know I don’t, but you just bring it out in me. What do you want, Billy?”

  He reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a folded-up group of papers. He held them out to me. “Shayna’s decided to go ahead with the lawsuit.”

  I took the papers but didn’t look at them. “Julianne will get a kick out of these. I think she’ll be happy, because it might be a chance for her to kick your ass in court.”

  He fiddled with the tie again. “Julianne doesn’t handle civil suits like this.”

  “But you’re special, Billy. She might just do it so she can embarrass you. Would give her a thrill, you know?”

  He stuck his hands in his pockets and shuffled the boots against the driveway. “I’m just here as a courtesy, Deuce. That’s all.”

  “Was the restraining order a courtesy as well?”

  He pursed his lips and rocked on his heels, a tiny spark in his dark eyes. “Shouldna gone botherin’ her, Deuce.”

  “Bull,” I said. “Shayna called me and asked me to come over. It was stupid of me to go over, but she asked. She knows it, I know it, and I’ll bet everything I have that you know it.”

  He continued to rock, giving a tiny shrug, an ambivalent expression on his face.

  “Why’d she file it, Billy? I didn’t do anything, and you both know it. Whatever’s going on here, it isn’t gonna fly. If you think I’m gonna sit around and just take this garbage, you’re wrong.”

  A slow smile spread across his face. “Same old Deuce. Arrogant and determined to right the wrongs of the world.”

  “Same old Billy,” I said. “Jealous and weak.”

  The smile slithered off his face. It had been like that between us for almost two decades. He’d been the quarterback of our team in high school, a position that should’ve been the movie star
role in our town. Billy Caldwell should’ve been the biggest man in town for his three years on the varsity and should’ve been able to run for mayor when he was done.

  Only Billy handled it exactly the worst way you’d want to handle a situation like that. He got arrogant. Didn’t realize that the key to getting the accolades was acting like you didn’t deserve them. He thought he deserved them and told everyone just that. And it was a problem for him because he couldn’t back it up. He was an average football player at best, lazy in his work habits and big in the mouth. It was a combination that didn’t make him popular in Rose Petal and didn’t make him popular in our locker room.

  And when some of us started fielding offers from colleges to go play after high school, it stuck in his gut that those schools weren’t looking at him. Burned a straight line right through him, and he blamed everyone but himself for it. We were stealing his thunder, we weren’t helping his cause, and we were just lucky.

  Twenty years later I could see it in his face. He hated that I had Julianne and Carly and my life. It bothered him. He was a low-rent ambulance chaser, and I wasn’t. It all showed right there on his face in my driveway.

  He pulled his hands out of his pockets and held them in front of himself, palms up. “Say what you want. But I think we can both agree I’ve got the upper hand at the moment.”

  “There is no upper hand, Billy,” I said. “I didn’t kill Benny, and I didn’t do anything to Shayna. And if you think some lawsuit based on something that happened twenty years ago is gonna keep me awake at night, you are very, very wrong. But you keep pushing me and I’m gonna push back. Hard.”

  “Wish I had that on tape,” he said. “Some folks might see that as a threat.”

  “Screw you.”

  “We can settle it all. Right here and now.”

  I laughed, thinking he wanted to fight. “An ass kicking in your thirties isn’t gonna be any different than it was when we were kids.”

  His expression wavered a bit, but it didn’t completely fold. “Not what I was talking about.”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “Shayna would be open to a settlement,” he said.

  “I’ll bet she would be.”

  “Don’t discount it, Deuce,” Billy said. “You can make all this go away. You give me a number and we’ll work from it.”

  “Two,” I said.

  His features scrunched together. “Two? Hundred? Thousand? Two what?”

  “Two seconds to get the hell out of my driveway.”

  He started backing down the driveway.

  “And if you wear those boots over here again, I’m calling animal control.”

  His mouth twitched in anger; he turned on those boots and got in his car.

  A settlement? Did I look that stupid? There was zero doubt in my mind that he and Shayna had something going on and somehow I’d landed in the middle of it.

  As I walked back up to the house and waved at Carly in the window, I was determined to find out what exactly I was in the middle of.

  30

  If I was going down, I was going to go down looking good.

  Staying home with Carly did not call for many occasions to dress myself up. My work attire consisted mostly of shorts, T-shirts, and sandals. I shaved about every third day. The occasional A&M hat on my head. I would’ve looked silly wearing a three-piece suit to the park.

  But I figured I better look like I was taking this whole thing seriously at Rettler-Mott, so I showered, shaved, and busted out the good stuff. The only suit I owned (navy and tailored), a Brooks Brothers pinpoint oxford (a gift from Julianne), a red and blue striped tie (stolen from my dad when I needed one for a dinner at Julianne’s firm about a year prior, and never returned), and shiny black wing tips (knockoffs, not name brands, because dress shoes are stupidly expensive, and if I’m spending money on shoes, it’s going to be on cool-looking running shoes.)

  Dressed to impress.

  I dropped Carly at my parents’ house.

  My father looked me up and down as she skittered past him into the house. “You look ready.”

  “I am,” I said, standing tall.

  “I meant you look ready to walk right into the coffin before they bury you. Stay nimble on your feet in case they try to shove you in.”

  Families are so awesome.

  The first thing I noticed about the parking lot at Rettler-Mott was how crowded it was. I didn’t like that. I expected there to be a few folks, but I wasn’t looking to argue this out in front of a huge audience. I imagined most of the folks were simply there to be entertained.

  The second thing I noticed was that Julianne had not yet arrived.

  And the third thing I noticed, unfortunately, was Darlene Andrews.

  She sashayed across the lot in my direction, her hair blotting out the moon and the stars. The only thing I saw in the sky was the giant white ribbon lifting her locks to new, superior heights.

  “Is Julianne coming?” she asked, scanning the parking lot, then lasering her eyes back to me.

  “She’ll be here.”

  “Too bad,” she mumbled.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.” She linked her arm inside mine. “Are you nervous?”

  I thought about uncoiling my arm from hers, knocking her to the ground, and making a run for it. But I was already in enough trouble. “I’m fine, Darlene.”

  “It’s like a snake pit in there,” she said, pushing in closer to me than was necessary. “You remember that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Where Indiana Jones has to go into that hole full of snakes?” She squeezed my arm. “They’re like the snakes. And you are just like Indy.”

  Fantastic.

  We reached the steps that descended down into the school, and I stopped. “I’m going to wait out here for Julianne.”

  The enthusiasm sagged out of her body. Not that anything ever really sagged on Darlene. “Oh. Would you like me to wait with you?” She squeezed my arm again. “For company. Or anything else.”

  “I’ll be all right, Darlene,” I said, disentangling our arms. “Go on in and get a good seat. I’ll see you inside in a few minutes.”

  “Okay,” she said, then pointed a hot pink fingernail at me. “Remember. You’re Indiana!”

  She went down the stairs and disappeared inside.

  I lied to Darlene. I was nervous.

  I paced back and forth to burn off some of that anxiety, waiting for Julianne.

  A few people passed by on their way in, nodding or waving hello. I wondered whose side they were on. Indy’s or the snakes’?

  My cell phone buzzed in my pocket and I answered.

  “I’m late,” Julianne said. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I should be there in about five minutes. Is it crowded?”

  I glanced at the full parking lot. “No. Just the entire town.”

  “You sound nervous.”

  “Well, Darlene just tried to push me down in the bushes and take advantage of me, so that may be it. She’s pretty strong.”

  “So’s her hair,” Julianne said. “Damm red lights. Just relax. It’s going to be fine. I did some reading today.”

  “Reading?”

  “Of the school’s bylaws. They’re going to end up kissing my incredible ass by the time I’m done with them.”

  I had done no looking at the school’s bylaws. I, in fact, didn’t even know what bylaws were. It had never occurred to me to do anything like that, and now my anxiety level was hitting DEFCON 1. I was angry over being called out by the WORMS, but maybe I wasn’t taking this seriously enough.

  I strolled over near a bank of hedges that ran along the edge of the amphitheater. “Jules, I don’t want you handling this for me.”

  “I know that,” she said. “And you take your shot. I’ll only get in the way if I need to.” She paused. “I’m about thirty seconds away.”

  I didn’t want her handling the whole thing. This was my fight and I wanted to de
fend myself, no matter how ridiculous the fight was. But it was good to know I had the best backup in the business if I needed her.

  “I’m turning in right now,” she said. “Where are you?”

  I turned to the parking lot, my back to the hedge. I saw her Lexus coming in at the far end of the lot. “I’m here, in front of you on your left.”

  Her headlights flashed across the lot and hit me in the eyes. I brought a hand across the top of my eyes.

  “Deuce,” she said. “Who is that behind you?”

  “Nobody. It’s the hedge.”

  “No. There’s a person behind the hedge. Who is that?”

  As I started to turn around, something hard and heavy thumped the back of my head. The phone fell out of my hand, and I dropped to my knees, stars dancing in my eyes.

  One more shot to the back of the head and the stars dropped out of my eyes as the pavement came rushing at me before all the light disappeared.

  31

  My eyes opened, and I was looking up at Julianne, Darlene, and Sharon Ann.

  Like Cinderella and her two wicked stepsisters.

  “Don’t move,” Julianne said.

  I pushed myself up to a sitting position.

  “What happened?” Darlene asked, clutching my hand.

  I reached around behind my head. A lump the size of an egg protruded from my skull. A dull throbbing was working its way from the inside of my head.

  “Will you be okay for the emergency meeting?” Sharon Ann asked.

  “Shut up, Sharon Ann,” Julianne said, putting a hand on my back and steadying me.

  Sharon Ann held her hands up, like her question was completely justified and Julianne was snapping at her for no reason.

  I pulled my hand back from around my head and was relieved that my fingers were absent of blood. “What happened?”

  Julianne stared intently at me, concern shaping her entire face. “We were on the phone. I saw someone behind you. You didn’t. Whoever it was hit you with something. I saw it come up as you turned around, but I couldn’t see what it was. Then you went down.”

 

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