by Taylor Hart
“Oh my gosh, it’s true. You hit on your best friend’s girl.”
“Before they were married.” He shot back.
She laughed. “Wow.”
His look was demure as he took a strand of her hair. “What can I say? I like redheads.”
She laughed.
“And I really like a certain red head sitting in front of me.”
Knowing she would be blushing, she bit the inside of her lip.
“See.” He traced her lip. “There’s that tell again.”
She looked up at him and he looked completely unrepentant for his blatant compliment. “What are we doing?”
He leaned in and brushed her lips, sending warm chills through her. “I don’t know, but I like it.”
She grinned, unable to stop herself. “Did you ever kiss Summer?”
He frowned and leaned back in his chair. “No. Okay, you got me. I am kind of a jerk at times.”
This made her laugh. “No kidding.”
He shook his head. “But I did back off when I saw how serious Hunter was. I just … had to push him.”
“Push him?”
He nodded. “Competition always pushes men.”
Sayla thought of the sports psychology books Rob used to read. “That’s true. Rob always tried to use competition to make the boys work harder.”
Sterling squeezed her hand. “What else did he do?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I figure, if you’re ever going to trust me, you might think about opening up and telling me more about Rob. I know your heart has been broken. Honestly, it’s okay. I’d worry about you if you didn’t feel it.”
How could Sterling see to the quick of her? She looked away. “How do you do that?”
“What?”
“You see me.”
“I’m an actor.” He let the words hang in the air. “And I think about you. A lot.”
She smiled. “You do?”
He played with her hand. “I told you. No masks. I also think about your masks.”
“My masks?” This slightly offended her.
“Yeah. You have them.”
She sighed. “I’ve had to. Survival.”
He nodded. “I know. But not with me. Not anymore.”
Tears filled her eyes. She blinked them back, hoping Sterling wouldn’t see it.
“What?”
She shook her head. “Dang it.”
“What?”
“See, you always do that. You see through me. You said I was the first woman to realize you were playing a character. But you see me too, and I don’t know if I like it.”
He let out a sigh and squeezed her hand. “It’s good for you.”
“Good for me?” She felt like a child when he put it that way.
He softened it by kissing the back of her hand. “It’s good for you to let someone in.” He hesitated. “It’s good for me too.”
She didn’t know what to say. All she knew was she wanted to kiss him again.
He seemed to read her mind as he leaned forward and met her halfway.
They explored each other’s lips. Sayla felt her insides melting.
It really was magical. Movie-like.
At the same time, it was real.
Pulling back, he traced her lips with his thumb. “Man, you’re beautiful.”
She loved how she felt like it was real for him too.
He flashed a grin.
“Plus, you shouldn’t worry about me knowing you. That’s my job—to get in people’s heads.” He shrugged.
“And you want in my head.”
He grinned and kissed her again. “I’m already in your head, Sayla Jones.”
The way he said it was seductive. It lit off little fires inside of her. Her first reaction was to pull her hand back.
He wouldn’t let her go though. He just kept kissing it. Kissing each individual finger. “Would it make you feel better to know you’re in my head too?”
It unnerved her that it did make her feel better. She didn’t answer.
When he turned back to her, she shrugged. “Am I still real if I’m in your head? Because you already said Kim wasn’t real.”
He shook his head, obviously uncomfortable. “I told you. Kim was to sell a movie.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
“It sounds cheap when you say it like that.”
“It was cheap.”
Sayla didn’t know how to make him understand. “It makes you sound cheap because you would do that.”
He stood, looking frustrated. “You don’t know what it’s like. The kind of pressure there is …” He trailed off.
There was no way Sayla was backing down. “Wait a sec, you mean to tell me no one else in the world except movie stars feel the pressure to fit in?”
He crossed his arms. “Not everyone has a Rob, okay?”
Hurt, she stood. “Don’t do that. Don’t use him like he was only a character.”
He stood, reaching for her hand.
She yanked it back.
“That’s not how I meant it.” His voice was soft. He ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry.”
Her heart beat fast, and she felt like she’d just been whiplashed.
“I don’t think you realize how lucky you were. I want … You know what I want? To be someone like that. I want to have something real and meaningful. I want us to have that.” Sterling looked out over the lake. “My life has been about pretenses, Sayla. I don’t want that anymore.”
It was strange to her that she felt so connected to Sterling. She’d seen him on the big screen, and while most Hollywood types didn’t impress her, she’d always thought he was a pretty good actor.
“What?” He pressed her, slowly reaching for her hand.
She let him take it.
“Sayla.”
A million thoughts scrambled through her brain and her greatest insecurities surfaced. “I’ve watched you kiss other women.”
“Oh.” He said it like he’d never thought about it.
“Well?”
“Well.” He broke off, sounding confused. “It’s just …”
“Stop hemming and just tell me.” Now she thought about kissing him and how meaningless it probably was for him. He’d kissed hundreds, maybe thousands of women. Insecurity washed over her. She pulled her hand out of his.
“Sayla. You just got weird.”
It was all happening so fast.
He leaned into her, and she could feel his breath on her neck. He kissed it, and chills washed over her. “I’ve never felt like this before.” He kissed her neck again.
She closed her eyes, sighing for a moment. It was wondrous, being here with him. And yes, still surreal, like a movie. Sayla realized what the problem was. She still hadn’t figured out what kind of movie she was starring in.
He leaned in to kiss her neck again, but she moved away. “Stop.”
“What’s wrong?”
She stood. “I’m kind of tired.” She let it hang there.
He stood too, moving to the screen door and pulling it wide for her to pass. “Okay, let’s get you settled.”
She walked through and stopped, holding up her hand. “I can do it. Thank you for everything, but I don’t need your help anymore.”
Pushing his hands into his khaki shorts, he frowned. “How come it feels like no matter how close I get to you, you move away?”
“Sterling, I’m not moving away. I just … I think we might be too different. The more we talk, and I hear the things you say about your past relationships, I don’t know how what we have can be real to you. How do you know you’re not wearing a mask still? Will the time come when you take this mask off and trade if for another?”
The look on Sterling’s face made her wince.
Defeat. Utter defeat. He took a breath then blew it out, shaking his head. “Seriously, don’t you think the past couple of days have shown you who I am? Sayla, we know each other more than most
couples who have been together a couple years know each other.” He pointed to himself. “And, yes, believe me I was one of the lame people who was one of those couples who didn’t really know each other.” He pushed his hand through his hair.
She felt sympathy for him, but she still wasn’t convinced. He was right, he wasn’t Rob.
No one would ever be Rob. Maybe she still needed to work on being okay with that.
“I’m sorry, Sterling.” She shook her head and tried to move past him.
He moved into her path, blocking her. “Wait. Listen, I know our relationship didn’t start out in a typical way, but I can’t deny what I’m feeling for you. I … I want to try this. To make it work. I’ve never felt this way. You have a depth. You have a sincerity about you that’s been missing from my life. Give us a chance.”
Her heart raced, but Rob’s face flashed into her mind. It still felt wrong to think of herself being with anyone except him. “I just don’t think I can.”
Chapter 16
Uno. Dos. Tres. Cuatro. Cinco. Seis … and so his mind went chanting as Sterling crested the hill on the road that led to Hunter’s property. He’d started this chant when he was in college in Spanish class. He could take it all the way to one-hundred.
He looked around, calculating he’d done fifteen miles. Most mornings he didn’t run this far. This morning, he’d just kept going, and this was the place he ended up.
Running past the trees that guarded the house and seeing the Dallas star above the ranch made him smile. Hunter had definitely made the ranch his own. Although, as he got to the front of the house and took the path around to the sides where the horse stalls, pool, and rest of the property was, he saw that Summer had definitely added her touch. There was a huge sunroom made of glass with a retractable roof. It was her workroom. Essentially, it was a giant sunroom, the perfect painting room. Hunter had let her do whatever she’d wanted. It was miraculous and beautiful, with a little bamboo garden area in the back and a slow fountain where he would see her practicing her yoga if he came early in the morning or too late at night.
Today, he didn’t see either of them.
Granted, it was only seven in the morning.
He hadn’t slept well. In fact, he hadn’t slept at all.
Stopping next to Hunter’s pool, he thought about just jumping in wearing his shorts. He decided not to since he didn’t want to wake Summer if she was sleeping.
He grinned, unable to hide his pleasure that she was pregnant. Good for them.
He liked Hunter. It was true that he liked to harass Hunter to no end, but he took great pleasure in seeing two of his friends happily married. Yes, Summer was his friend too.
Okay, he would have made a real play for her. But once he saw how much she and Hunter were made for each other, he quit trying at all.
He was loyal. His mother had always said that was the best thing about him. Once people were tucked into his heart, they were there for good.
Wincing, he thought of his father and his brother. Except for them. Loyalty hadn’t been something he’d given them.
It made him sad when he thought of Sayla. She felt about herself exactly the way he felt about them.
Could he forgive them?
“What the heck are you doing here?”
Sterling jumped.
Hunter finished opening the sliding glass door and turned, gently putting the door back into place.
“Sorry.”
Swinging back, Hunter put his finger to his mouth. He was in boxers and a cowboy hat. “Shh, you don’t want to wake everyone.”
Sterling frowned. “Forgot your pants, but remembered your hat?”
Hunter glared at him. “For your information I was coming out to make coffee when I saw someone out here.” He shrugged, and a stupid grin came onto his face. “I grabbed my hat from the counter before I came to pound the intruder.” He grinned wider. “You ready to get pounded?”
Sterling put his fists up. “I may not be a soldier, but I played one in a movie.”
Hunter slapped his fists away, gave him a fake jab in the stomach, and then stepped back. “Man, you look like crap. Slept much?”
“No.”
“Gonna be a big movie director soon. What’s the problem?”
Sterling huffed out a breath.
Hunter shook his head. “That woman. Sit down. Tell me about it”
Sterling was still wound up. “Naw, I want you to drive me home.”
Hesitating briefly, Hunter gestured toward the barn. “The ranch trucks always have keys in them.”
“No shoes?” He fell in behind Hunter.
“I got boots in the stable, genius.” He shook a finger in Sterling’s face. “A simple thank you would suffice.”
They got to the barn, and Hunter slipped into some jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt.
“You keep all this out here?”
Hunter scowled. “Man, you’re such a city slicker.” He went into the office and came out with twenty bucks in his hand. “You’re lucky I’m going to buy you an Egg McMuffin.”
That’s how they rolled through the McDonald’s drive through where Hunter bought them each a breakfast meal. Sterling laughed as he slugged down the hash browns, breakfast sandwich, and orange juice. “Man, this stuff’s greasy.”
Hunter threw his back too. “You sound like a chick.”
“No, I’m talking like my trainer.” He wiped grease off his face with a napkin. “No wonder it’s all banned from my diet.”
Hunter tossed the last of his sandwich into his mouth. “Yeah, but it’s good.” He started up his truck and pulled out of the parking lot.
As they approached Sterling’s house, the tall trees surrounding the driveway and leading to the Colonial type mansion with the black shutters came into view. Seeing it, Sterling precipitously felt even more depressed. “Man, do you ever wonder what it’s all for?”
“What?”
Sterling gestured to the house. “All of it?”
Hunter killed the engine and stared at him. “Dude, this is about Sayla, isn’t it?”
Sterling put his head into his hands. “I know it’s ridiculous. I mean, look at me. I’m a movie star. She was my paid date, and she has issues. She calls me a phony, and I still like her. She told me to go away.”
Hunter grunted. “Sounds like the smartest woman you’ve ever dated.”
Sterling shook his head, letting out a helpless groan. “I know.”
He pushed open his door and got out, feeling a bit sick from the junk food.
Hunter got out too. “Oh, no you don’t. You don’t wake me up at the butt crack of dawn, make me buy you that crap for breakfast, and then get out of the truck before I’m done talking to you.”
Sterling turned to face him. “Dude, how come it feels like I have everything, but nothing?” He shook his head. “Nothing I really want.”
Hunter shook his head and tsked his tongue. “Oh man, am I gonna have to call Cooper for an intervention?”
“Do that and you’ll be the one getting pounded.” Sterling reached out to elbow Hunter.
But Hunter’s reflexes were too fast. He grabbed Sterling and pushed him back, taking care to hold his shirt so he wouldn’t hit the pavement hard. Then he was in his face. “Has she rejected you? Is that what you’re crying about?”
Sterling didn’t try to fight. Sure, he could hold his own in a fight, but not against someone like Hunter. They both knew it. He screwed up his face and wanted to scream. “She told me to get back to my real life.”
Hunter grabbed the fist of shirt tighter and pulled Sterling to his face. “Is that what your gut tells you to do? Leave this woman behind?”
Suddenly, everything became clear. “No, sir.” The 'sir' came out accidentally.
Hunter instantly pulled him up to his feet, setting him straight and dusting off his shoulders. “Then soldier up and go fight for her!”
Sterling felt determination stirring. He felt the energy, the drive, and th
e passion that he would need to make that happen. “Yes, sir.” Dang it! He did it again.
“So what are you gonna do?” Hunter was in his face.
“Fight.”
“What?” He yelled military-style.
“Fight for her!”
Hunter grinned and pulled away, clapping Sterling on the back. “That’s the spirit.” He swung the truck door open. “Now, I better get back to my wife before I get in trouble.” He paused. “But I think for a woman like Sayla fighting might be just showing up. Being there.”
As he drove down the driveway, Hunter rolled down the window and let out a redneck yell.
With a flash of insight. Sterling knew what he need to do right now was go fishing.
Chapter 17
Sayla felt great physically as she walked toward the marina. It was the first morning she’d actually felt back to her normal self. She had an appointment with the doctor tomorrow, and she anticipated being released for travel. She could be in Rome in a week. Henry wasn’t expecting her, but she couldn’t sit around the cabin anymore feeling generally useless. She didn’t need the pain meds any longer, and that felt amazing.
Too bad her stomach hurt for another reason.
Sterling.
The look he’d given her when she’d told him it wouldn’t work out between them.
Darn it all, it confused her even more that she found herself thinking about him. Dreaming about him again.
It annoyed her.
When she walked into the store, Henry sat behind the register, his foot propped on a short stool, a fishing magazine in his hands.
“Well.” He grinned wider than normal for Henry. “About time you made yourself useful.”
She grinned back, knowing she was blushing. Henry had been a saint through all this. He knew how much she hated being vulnerable, so he had to give her a hard time about it.
“Yeah, yeah.” She turned in a circle, checking out the displays that had gone to crap. She started straightening a display with various types of bait. “Looks like you need to fire the help. They’re not doing their job.”
Henry sighed. “Been trying to get rid of her for months now, but she just keeps coming back.”
She didn’t look at him, methodically going through the display fixing all the parts and pieces of it. It felt good to focus on something. To be doing something. To not be thinking about Sterling.