by Taylor Hart
When Sayla woke the next morning, sadness had crept over her soul.
Loud knocking signaled the reason she’d woken. Banging would be a better word for it.
Throwing back the covers, she thought about how horrible she felt.
When she got to the door, she heard someone rustling with the key and braced herself for another confrontation with Sterling.
Thankfully, Henry stood there when she pulled the door open.
“Tarnation, what’s wrong, girl?”
Vaguely, she remembered she was supposed to open the marina at six in the morning. “What time is it?”
“Almost eight o’clock.” He frowned, looking her up and down. “What did the doctor say?”
She knew he must think it was bad news from the way she looked. Waving her hand, she moved to the kitchen and opened the fridge, taking out the orange juice. “I’m fine.”
“It would have been nice of you to come by last night.”
Turning back to him, she saw the dark circles around his eyes. Darker than normal. Henry always complained he didn’t sleep well, anyway. Guilt pinged her. “I’m sorry,” she said, quickly taking a sip.
He moved to her counter, holding out a glass.
She poured him some juice.
Henry took a sip and closed his eyes for a second. “Well, it’s a good thing I already knew how you were doing.”
That floored her. “What?”
“Sterling texted me.”
Knowing she should be mad, but seeing Henry with a cell phone in his hand, acting all superior was just too funny.
He frowned. “And he also texted me that I probably wouldn’t see him around here any more.”
Looking away, she moved into the living room where everywhere she looked—the lake, the pictures on her wall, the couch where she’d sat with Sterling—all felt tarnished somehow.
Henry sat next to her, handing her an envelope.
“What is this?”
Henry sighed. “Sterling dropped it off this morning and asked me to give it to you.”
Sayla took the envelope as if it were a bomb. Carefully, deliberately. She stared at it.
“Open it.” Henry commanded.
Slowly, she opened the unsealed envelope. Inside was a plane ticket to Rome, vouchers for tours, and vouchers for restaurants.
“That jerk.”
“What?” Henry asked.
“He paid for my trip.”
Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them back.
“Sayla, go to him.”
She pushed everything back into the envelope and looked at the lake. “He shouldn’t have done that.”
She was empty. Every part of her.
Henry took another sip and let out a sigh to match hers. “I told you my Daisy was the light of my life.”
This was always a strange topic for them. They both knew they had dead spouses, and sometimes, they would share a fond memory, but they didn’t analyze or go into the details. Somehow, they shared without actually talking about it. It seemed that Henry was about to change that though.
“Yes.”
Henry turned to her and the sag in his eyes seemed even deeper. “Sayla, I ain’t gonna lie to you. Daisy was my love, and sometimes I miss her so bad I wonder if I can get through the day. But it’s been four years, and I’ve found myself, well, not thinking about her sometimes. Not that I don’t remember. I do. But when you came to the cabins, it was nice.” He laughed. “It was nice to have someone to share dinner with. Or fish with. Or not talk with.”
She felt her bottom lip tremble. It had been nice to have Sterling there. She wouldn’t lie. “I feel so guilty.”
Henry put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in.
How had she become this crying girl?
She let the tears wash out of her. “I’ve been horrible to Sterling. I … I’m so … awful.” She’d never told anyone the whole truth.
It’d been the first time she’d actually said the truth last night to Sterling.
Henry turned her and put both hands on her shoulders. “Nonsense.” He growled. “You got grit, girl.”
“Henry, you don’t understand.”
“Heck, I don’t. I see the way that man looks at you.”
She was silent.
“Nonsense.” Henry turned his head, and it almost looked like he was tearing up. When he turned back, she saw that he did have moisture in his eyes, but wasn’t allowing any of it to flow out. “I always wanted a daughter, and look at how you showed up in my life. You’ve been a miracle in my life after lots of hardship. Girl, I don’t know why you’ve beat yourself up for so long, but you’ve got to move on. Sayla, the man loves you. Give it a chance. He’s not Rob, but it’s good anyway. Believe me, I, as a general rule, rank movie stars somewhere between lawyers and politicians.”
A soggy laugh escaped Sayla’s mouth. “It’s too late.”
Henry continued. “Someone said to me recently, you can look at everything in life like it’s the end, or the beginning.”
For a few moments, she just sat there.
Henry pulled her into a hug and turned to leave. “I hope you take that trip soon.”
He left, and she watched him go, sitting on a kitchen chair.
The truth of his words hit her. Turning away from Henry, she wiped her face and walked back to the kitchen. The truth of it all practically drowned her. Opening the envelope, she tugged out the plane ticket. It was open ended. It would take her wherever she wanted to go whenever she wanted to go.
The only thing was she realized, now, she didn’t want to go anywhere without him.
An hour later, she pulled into Sterling’s driveway.
The house intimidated her, but she wouldn’t let it stop her.
Taking the golden knocker in hand, she pounded the door hard.
Someone she didn’t recognize answered the door. “Hello.”
“Is Sterling home?” She wondered if he would be at the gallery downtown.
The man’s face clouded. “No, he went away suddenly. I’m sorry. Can I give him a message?”
A million thoughts went through her mind. Did he go to see Harold? Did he go on some movie shoot? “When will he be back?”
“I’m not at liberty to say.”
“Then call him right now.” She demanded, as surprised as the butler was.
“Miss …”
“Please.” She felt an urgency. “Call him.”
The butler cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, Miss, but I can give him a message.”
She turned away. “Never mind.”
Getting into Henry’s truck, she whipped out the phone Sterling had left for her when he’d gone to Alaska.
She found his number and tried to call him.
No answer.
She found Summer’s number and called her.
“Hey, Sayla.” Her voice was warm, just like her season.
“Summer, would you happen to know where Sterling went?”
“You mean after you sent him away?” Her voice took on a sharp edge.
Sayla didn’t answer.
For a moment, neither of them spoke.
Summer sighed. “He was here last night, and he was a mess.”
Sayla felt horrible. “I need to talk to him.”
Summer let out another sigh. “I probably shouldn’t even tell you this, but he got a call from his brother last night. His father took a turn for the worse. Sterling left this morning.”
Sayla thought about the plane ticket back at her cabin and knew what she had to do.
Chapter 21
Sterling stood in the library at the home he hadn’t been back to in two years. Faint music wafted through the cracks of the large library door. He’d been duped.
It had all been a ruse. When he’d arrived that morning, he discovered they’d tricked him into coming. His father was fine. Now he was caught at a political dinner being held for his father’s campaign.
His first instinct had been to
bolt, to run.
Then he thought of Sayla’s words, 'at least you have a father and brother'.
So here he stood. Hiding away in the library. Unsure of what to do.
The door opened behind him. “Sterling, dad is sick. That wasn’t a lie.” His brother Nathan stated.
Sterling didn’t move, not trusting himself to say anything.
Nathan moved next to him. “Dad’s just determined. He’s patriotic. He wants to change the world for the better.”
“Shut up,” Sterling said quietly, putting his glass on the wood coffee table.
Neither of them spoke.
Then his brother was standing next to him. “I loved her too, you know.”
Red was all Sterling could see. Turning, he grabbed his brother by the shirt collar. “Don’t you talk to me about her. Don’t you dare talk to me about her.”
Nathan pushed away, and Sterling let him go. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, okay?” He put his hands up. “I’ve been sorry for a long time.” His voice was quiet, and he turned his attention to the coffee table, picking up Sterling’s glass and finding a coaster to stick beneath it.
The gesture somehow softened Sterling. His mother had always insisted they get a coaster when they put their glasses down.
Nathan caught his gaze and crossed his arms. “I didn’t want to bring you here for this. Dad, he is sick. The doctor told him he shouldn’t be campaigning. He shouldn’t be doing anything like this, but he doesn’t listen.”
Sterling frowned at him. “You helped him.”
Nathan nodded, looking unashamed. He let out a derisive laugh. “I guess I always took Dad’s side, and you always took mom’s side.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“She never believed in him.”
This baffled Sterling. He felt confused. “That woman gave up everything for him. For us.”
Nathan shook his head. “She didn’t want him to run. She never supported him. Just like you.”
Sterling wanted to throw a punch, but he held back. “Do you seriously think the past two years of me staying away was because I didn’t support dad?”
Nathan looked defiant. “Wasn’t it?”
All of Sterling’s control flew out the window. He clutched his hands into fists. “You and dad turned your back on her for an election. For power. You abandoned her. You never cared about her. You never cared about me except as a photo op. Just like now.”
Nathan swallowed hard and watched Sterling. “I’ve tried to reach out to you, to include you.”
“To use me.”
The library door opened, again. “Sterling, Nathan, keep your voices down.” His father moved into the room and shut the door behind him.
Sterling turned to look at his father, who looked a lot like him. Same height. Same dark hair, blue eyes. His father had aged well. Even with the heart condition, he’d been able to pull off politics with his good looks.
Nathan put his hand up. “Let’s get back out there.”
Sterling’s father shook his head and turned to Sterling. “I never wanted to use you.”
Hands still clutched, Sterling held his ground. “You use me, just like you used mom.”
“I loved your mother.” His voice climbed two notches.
Sterling’s heart pounded. He’d been waiting for a long time to ask the hard questions. “After her funeral, I heard you tell someone you would win now because of the sympathy vote.”
His father gave him an incredulous look. “If I said something like that, it was a bad reaction to a horrible situation, but that is not how I felt. You have to know that. I loved your mother, and I love you.”
Sterling could barely control his anger. “You never cared. You wanted to show me off. To put on the mask of being this perfect family. Well, we’re not.”
His father shook his head, sadness washing over him. “It’s true I had Nathan get you back here by telling you I’m not doing well. It’s true though. I’m not doing well.” He blinked. “But I didn’t know how else to get you back.”
Sterling gestured to the library doors. He felt his hand shake. He had not dealt with all these feelings for a long time. “I came here wanting to forgive you. Make peace with you. But I feel like you always suck me into lies. Everything’s about you running for something.”
Tentatively, his dad took a step toward him. “Son, I want your forgiveness. I want …” he sighed. For the first time, Sterling could see through the political smile his father always had ready. “Son, I thought by serving in the political arena I could do good. I could make a difference, but I’ve given up way too much. I know I haven’t been the father you’ve needed, and I wasn’t the husband your mother needed.” He shook his head and sniffed. “But I’m telling you I’m ready to ask for your forgiveness. I want you back.” He opened his arms.
Before Sterling knew it, he had stumbled into his father’s arms. He was a child, again. Wanting to mend this. Wanting to love his father. Wanting to be loved.
The anger turned to emotion.
He wasn’t sure how it would all be all right between them, but he knew this was a start.
There was a knock at the library door.
Both of them pulled back and wiped their faces.
He turned and saw Nathan crying too. Nathan reached out a hand to him.
Sterling pulled him into a hug.
Another knock.
“Sir,” his father’s butler called out. “There’s a woman here to see Mr. Sterling.”
Chapter 22
Sterling watched her walk into the library. She wore a yellow summer dress with her red hair swooped back into a messy bun. Though she had on barely any makeup and didn’t look like a movie stair date at all, he could honestly say she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
Looking bewildered, her green eyes fell on him. Then on his father, then on his brother.
He walked to her, unable to believe this was real. That she could be here. “Sayla?”
“I’m sorry.” She was wide-eyed and still looking between them, obviously sensing something was happening.
Happiness filled him. He reached for her hand and smiled. “It’s fine.” It was more than fine. To have her here. To have a reunification with his father and brother felt … movie-like.
After brief introductions and the kind of polite pleasantness only his father and brother would be capable of in this situation, they excused themselves.
His father turned back, smiling at Sayla. “I hope you’ll stay for dinner.”
Sterling watched as she nodded and returned his polite smile.
He noticed she appeared healthy. Her face was not as pale as it had been. He couldn’t get over how gorgeous she was. How attracted he was to her.
He found it funny that since he’d met her he hadn’t even thought of or looked at another woman.
She turned to him, looking vulnerable. “Hi.”
He took her hand and led her out of the library. “Let’s go take a walk.”
She followed him out of the library and down the servants’ hall that led directly out to the gardens.
The gardens had been something he’d loved growing up. They were the place he’d spent the most time with his mother, even when she was ill.
He took her to the statue in the center of the garden maze that looked like Venus de Milo.
Looking around, she let out a soft laugh. “I can’t believe I came here.”
He grinned back at her. “How did you?”
“I called Caleb. He called everyone else and set everything up.”
Sterling made a mental note to thank his agent later. “He always does.”
For a minute, they both stared into each other’s eyes. Sterling wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her, but he wasn’t sure. She was here, so that meant she wanted to be with him, right?
“Sterling, I’m sorry.”
This took him by surprise. “For what?”
“For being so horrible.
”
He shook his head. “You’re not horrible.”
“I just didn’t know what I wanted. I … I was telling you the truth. The night Rob died, we fought. I was having female issues, and he told me he didn’t want children anyway. That I should have everything taken out. That the kids he coached could be his children. It made me so mad. I knew he was saying it to make me feel better, but he didn’t understand that I wanted children. I was willing to go through all my female issues because I wanted them. I wanted to be the mother I never had. I wanted to have a family.” She broke off, shaking her head. “I took a different route home that night. And then he died.”
Intense emotion pulsed through him. He took her by the shoulders. “Sayla.”
She blinked and shook her head. “What I want to say is that I don’t know if I can forgive myself yet, but I want this with you.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “I don’t deserve this, but I want it.”
Scooping her up into a hug, Sterling felt her tremble and cry. He held her tightly, his own tears and emotion mixing with the ones from earlier. “I want this too.” He pulled her back and searched her face. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be a certain way. We can be hurt and broken and … unmasked.”
She let out a light laugh. “Oh gosh, the mask again. The land of masks.”
He pointed at her. “No.” He laughed. “The land of no masks.”
She laughed harder. “We’re so pathetic.”
He laughed too, looking at her lips. “Yes, we are. And I like it.”
He paused. “I told you before …” It took everything inside of him to say this. “I can be whatever you need me to be.”
Sayla closed the gap between them, reaching for him. “Everything. Be everything to me.”
He picked her up and brought her lips to his.
It was more than just a kiss of reconciliation. Time and space paused, breathed. It was a moment for appreciating all that is good. A moment that felt like soaring, flying, jumping out of an airplane—exhilarating and terrifying all at once.
The flame of desire spiked inside of him. He kissed her deeply until, gently, he broke away, pulling back and staring at her.
She pulled his head down, and met his lips again.