“She misses Oliver.”
“Yeah, what happened to him anyway?”
One of the ghosts stepped forward to stand beside me. His hands attempted and failed to grip the gate like mine did. I smiled at him, thinking maybe he was here to help make the decision easier.
I was wrong.
He grinned. “Hey, look at me, I’m Everly. Will I go or will I stay? Ah, who are we kidding? Of course I’m not going to go.” They erupted into laughter. So much for my own personal cheer squad. I was surprised they didn’t just hand me a knife so I could be done with it all.
Perhaps they would if they could actually touch things.
“Shut up, all of you,” I begged. They couldn’t hear me over the sound of their own giggles.
It was impossible to stay a moment longer. I had to find Oliver or I was going to be driven mad. If not by the ghosts then by my own mind.
My hands pushed on the gate. It made a terrible squeak as the rusty hinges protested against it. I hoped it wasn’t a warning sign of things to come.
It couldn’t be and I couldn’t think like that. I needed to find Oliver and there wasn’t anything I could do about that at the house. It was the city for me.
I took the first step that would take me over the threshold of safety. It was the first time in almost a year I had left the property. I took another step, and another one after that until I was completely away from the property boundary.
I was in the street.
“She’s doing it.”
“She’ll be back.”
“Give it a few minutes and she’ll come running.”
“Maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll leave us.”
“For good?”
“We can find her, we’re not the ones stuck here.”
“I think it’s good for her.”
“She should leave. It’s not healthy staying here.”
They all had an opinion but none of them followed me. I didn’t dare look back over my shoulder to see them but their voices grew softer the further I went.
Every step away from the house made a voice in my head scream that I should turn around and hurry back. It was warning me that I was going into the unknown. I had no way of predicting what would await me in the city.
I didn’t even know what awaited me at the end of the street.
But I had to keep going.
Oliver was down there somewhere and I had to find him. He had never missed one visiting day since he found me. I couldn’t leave him to languish in the city alone. I had to find him. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t.
My legs were heavy with trepidation. As I passed the last remaining house on the street, I had an overwhelming urge to run back as fast as I could.
But I kept going.
I may have had to wade through what felt like concrete to get there, but I was going to do it. The fear of staying and starving was worse than the fear of going into the city and facing what awaited me.
It had been so long since I travelled this way, I actually had to think about the path I needed to take. It wasn’t like I had a map or GPS. The skyscrapers in the distance were my beacon, the guiding light to lead me into the darkness.
An eerie silence wrapped itself around me. Even the gentle cool breeze didn’t bring any sound with it. What once would have held cars whizzing by and people chattering happily, now only held a deathly quietness. After listening to the forty-three ghosts occupying my home, it was almost too much to bear. I truly felt alone for the first time in a long time.
As I moved, faces would appear at the windows of the houses I passed. I knew they weren’t real, but more dead people. They hid when they saw me, we rarely made any eye contact. If they knew I could see them, I wouldn’t be able to get rid of them. That’s how my house had become so full.
It all started with just one ghost.
Going down the hill was probably far easier than it would be to return again. The road was steep. If I had a bicycle or a skateboard, it would have taken me a fraction of the time to reach the bottom. Perhaps I should have searched around for one? But it would probably have been a waste of time.
The houses started to become more condensed, the first sign I was getting close to the city. The buildings weren’t as small anymore either, proving I was approaching. I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I was going to see, but I couldn’t. It brought back too many memories I would rather forget.
Like seeing everyone I loved die.
A horrible, painful death.
I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. The only way I had been able to cope with it all was to pretend it didn’t happen. If I could squash those thoughts into a tiny little space in my mind and never let it unravel, I could function. If even a tiny corner started to peel back, I commenced my shutdown.
I continued to force my feet to keep going. One step at a time I wound my way through the suburb until I reached the city. It was when the faces started to become real that I seriously wanted to turn back.
I knew these faces weren’t ghosts because they were only children. They peeked out from front doors and behind alleys to stare at me. They were filthy, gaunt, and held a look of sadness so terrible it was heartbreaking.
They each reminded me of Faith.
But she was gone, too.
I locked my eyes on the street and tried desperately not to look to my sides. The dilapidated buildings were almost as sad as the children that roamed through them. Nobody had maintained the structures in a long time, nobody knew how.
Except me.
And I wasn’t helping.
The lump in my stomach lurched up to my throat and lodged itself there. No matter how many deep breaths I took, it refused to budge. But I couldn’t break down. I had to find Oliver, it wasn’t a choice now. My journey into the city would not be in vain. I wouldn’t let it be.
The further into the heart of the city I went, the more apparent it was that the past year had not been kind to it. So many of the houses were burned out, just empty shells that used to hold happy families.
Just one moment was all it took to destroy everything.
Barely a window was still whole, no gardens grew in planters. What was once the main parkland was now just a patch of brown dirt. Everything was a bleak beige or grey. Gone, along with hope, were all the bright colors.
Before I could stop myself, my traitorous feet stopped outside the building I used to call my home. I lived on the third floor of the brownstone apartment complex. My bedroom overlooked the parkland.
Only half of the building remained.
Somewhere in the rubble were the remains of my parents. My precious mom and dad that I had shed so many tears over after the Event were probably no more than bones now. The day I left I promised myself I would never return and I planned on keeping that promise even now. I would never step foot inside that building again.
I couldn’t.
Never ever.
My feet needed to keep moving or I would be stuck, frozen here forever. I had to think of the living and not be tormented by the dead.
It was a mistake to come. Everything only reminded me of what I had lost. The city was my past, I couldn’t take it in now in the present, and it certainly wasn’t in my future.
Perhaps I could find some food on the way back. I didn’t need much, just enough to keep me going for a little while longer. Until I was ready to give up entirely.
I turned back the way I had come. The ghosts would be terrible when I returned to my house on the hill. They would ridicule me endlessly for not being braver, stronger, and more courageous. I would need to find a way to drown them out. I wouldn’t let them get to me. The ghosts were far worse in the city, they haunted me far more than the ones at the house.
“Everly!” The male voice stopped me in my tracks as my mind went blank.
I was frozen on the spot, unsure whether I had heard my name called from the living or the dead. I wished I didn’t have to make that kind of
decision. Life was for the living, the dead should have no place here.
“Everly, you came.” His voice was real, I was certain of it. I turned around and saw Oliver’s face. Relief flooded through me like a tidal wave.
Every muscle in my body wanted to rush at him, wrap my arms around his neck and never let him go. I couldn’t, though. Admitting to that level of caring meant I still had feelings and wasn’t numb like I needed to be. Caring for others was a weakness I needed to expunge from my existence.
“Hey, Oliver,” I replied nonchalantly. My heart raced with him so close and so… alive. He was there, he was okay, he didn’t look to have any cuts or injuries. Oliver was whole, my venture into the city was worth that knowledge alone.
“I’m so glad to see you here,” he started, a grin spread wide across his face. “Are you staying? Please say yes.”
“I ran out of food, I’m only here for supplies.”
The lines around his eyes crinkled with disappointment. I hated doing that to him. He deserved so much more. “I can help you find supplies. But will you stay for a little bit? I want to show you around. You did come all this way, after all.” He smiled hopefully. How many times did I have to knock him down before he remained down?
Obviously once more, at least.
“I don’t want to be gone long. I really just need my stuff and then I’ll leave.”
“How about I do you a deal? You spend one hour with me, doing whatever I want, and I’ll get you food to take back. How does that sound?” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited for my answer.
The decision should have been easy. I didn’t know where I would find food in the broken city and I didn’t know what kind of negotiation was required to be able to take anything with me. Oliver did. I should have been all over the deal and ready to sign on the dotted line.
But I wasn’t.
Staying for even an hour in the city was akin to torture. I wouldn’t be able to ignore all the pain and suffering of the poor children left behind by the Event. I didn’t know if I was strong enough to handle it.
I probably wasn’t.
I would never be that strong.
But I did need food. And a part of me really did want to stay with Oliver and see what was so important he wanted to show me. We had been best friends once, I still felt a traitor by turning my back on him now.
“Deal,” I finally replied, not nearly as enthusiastically as he would have hoped. “But just for one hour. I have to get back.” I didn’t have to get back. There was nothing for me at the house on the hill, but it was far better than staying in the city.
“One hour it is, come on.” Oliver started walking in the same direction he had approached from. I followed closely, not wanting to lose him in the destruction that was once regal buildings.
We took the route that would have once taken us to our schools. In my mind I could picture how everything used to look. Brownstone buildings lined the perfectly tarred street with proud green trees lining the way.
Now, there was rubble to my right and rubble to my left as we walked down the center of the street avoiding loose debris. It was crazy to think so much damage could be done in little more than a year.
It would never have happened without the Event.
“We’re going to the school?” I asked as we entered through the old school gates. One had been torn off its hinges, the other screeched when it moved. If Principal Decky was still here to see it, he would have cried over the conditions. He was always so proud of his school.
“Not the school, but the hall at the side,” Oliver explained. He led me around the building, just like he said. The hall we entered used to be the performance center. It was a large building with a raised stage at one end and not much else. I had played the lead in two dance recital performances there.
Seeing the hall now made me want to break down and weep. There were children of all ages everywhere, somewhere amongst them an infant was crying with high-pitched screams. Makeshift beds and cardboard partitions had been set up haphazardly to give some semblance of privacy.
It didn’t work.
There was no escaping any of it.
We walked through as haunted faces stared back at me. Children as young as two and three were fending for themselves. They were far too young to know how to survive, especially in this world. Tears started to sting my eyes but I wouldn’t let them fall. I had to be numb, I just had to be.
It was the only way to survive.
A child of about five almost knocked me over as he ran past. I jumped out of the way and gripped the wall to keep my balance. He disappeared into the crowd just as quickly as he had buzzed by.
“It’s a bit chaotic in here,” Oliver said apologetically. He wasn’t kidding. There were people everywhere. Some were merely sitting in private misery on the floor with their meager possessions. Others were bustling about intent on some task or another. But it was the ones just standing, looking lost, that made my heart contract.
“Do all these kids live here?” I asked, because just the thought of it made me want to run in the other direction and forget everything I had seen.
“Some do. Some are just here for the food or company.”
“Is anyone looking out for the young kids?”
The sad look on Oliver’s face answered me before his words did. “Everyone’s doing their best but nobody was really equipped for this, you know? It’s pretty hard looking after others when you can’t even do it for yourself.”
We passed a set of double doors that were wide open. I jumped when I saw the ghost standing in the space between. She was probably about forty-something and staring intently at a little girl curled up asleep on the floor. The kid was aged about four, maybe five at the most.
I didn’t make eye contact with her, I couldn’t. The moment the woman realized I had seen her she would harass me until I did whatever she wanted me to. I kept walking, trying to take a few deep breaths to stop my shaking hands.
We wove our way through the maze of makeshift beds and people until we joined a long queue. About a hundred feet away I could catch glimpses of the food serving area.
I leaned in closer to Oliver. “Where does everyone get their food from?”
“Here, mostly. Volunteers cook and serve once a day for lunch. After that, everyone is on their own.”
“Where do the volunteers get the food?” If they had a source, I wanted in on it. I wouldn’t take any more than I needed, but I did need something. I couldn’t go back empty handed and waste the whole horrible experience.
Oliver leaned in closer again so we couldn’t be overheard. “Mostly from stockpiles that were found after the Event. Nobody is making any new food so it all has to come from old stock.”
“There aren’t any farms anymore?”
“Who would run them?” It was even worse than I had thought it would be. Of course there wouldn’t be any farms, it was stupid of me to assume children would take over where their parents left off. Kids of farmers had no more obligations than the rest of us.
We spent the longest time possible in the shelter line as we shuffled forward inch by painful inch. I longed to leave and go to my house on the hill. The hall was too noisy, full of nothing but sadness and grime. At least my house only held the endless chatter of the ghosts and not groans from the living.
The smell of food made my stomach grumble loudly as we reached the front of the line. A girl of about sixteen handed me a plate that was half-full of canned vegetables. They were probably stale but they were hot and edible, it didn’t matter what they tasted like. I would have eaten cardboard by that stage.
“You’re not going to eat?” I asked Oliver as he kept by my side, plate-less.
“No, I’m fine.”
“But you waited in line for so long and-” He held up a hand to stop me mid-sentence.
“I’m fine, Everly, really. You eat up while we talk.” He led me out of the hall and down a corridor. We found a patch of grass outside in the
cloudy sunlight and sat down.
I forced myself to eat slowly and not make a pig out of myself, even though I wanted to shovel the food into my mouth as quickly as possible. Soggy, stale carrots had never tasted so good before.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you here today,” Oliver started. I could sense he was only just gearing up for a lecture.
“I told you, I ran out of food.” And I had to make sure he was alive, but I didn’t tell him that.
“These people could really use your help. You’ve seen how bad it is now and this is only the beginning.” There it was, the compliment that headed directly into requesting me to do things I couldn’t do. I focused way too intently on my peas instead of his penetrating stare.
“There are plenty of people here helping. One more set of hands wouldn’t do much,” I replied. I would have told him I had leprosy and was highly contagious if it convinced him to leave me alone.
“You know you would be more than that.”
“Nope, that’s it. Ten fingers, it’s all I have.”
He shifted his weight as he sat and moved his feet so he was sitting cross-legged. “Everly, don’t pretend. You have access to the kind of information they need.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. If you want information, you should go to the library and read a book. I’m sure it would be more helpful than me.”
“You can speak with the dead, Ev.” He paused as my head shot up to look at him. I wasn’t sure if I had heard correctly.
Nobody knew about my abilities.
I certainly hadn’t told anybody.
How on earth did Oliver know?
Chapter Four
I had to protect my secret at all costs. I couldn’t look at Oliver as I lied. “Speak with the dead? Yeah, right,” I said sarcastically, brushing the idea off as ludicrous.
“Come on, I’ve known you forever. You really think you can lie to me?” Oliver laughed and I knew it was impossible to avoid his questions any longer.
But I wasn’t going to give up so easily. “I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“So you can’t see ghosts?”
All The Pretty Ghosts (The Never Series Book 1) Page 3