In fact, looking back at the past year, I found myself wondering why I’d bothered dating Alistair in the first place. It had been convenient, yes, and comfortable. Easy, in a way, because it meant I was doing what was expected without putting much effort into it.
Get a good career, a steady boyfriend, and eventually get married and have a family. That was the general idea. But ever since meeting Dustin, I’d never really connected with any other guy on the same level.
Which probably explained why Alistair cheated.
No, Alistair is just a shady guy who would’ve cheated anyway, I assured myself, remembering just how capable of passion I’d been with Dustin, a complete stranger.
Only, now, he was somehow more than that, I realized as we left his car behind and headed inside.
“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Hotshot Stuntman,” I told him, attempting to tease a little.
“Anything I can do to make you smile,” he flirted with a wink.
He opened the door and gestured me forward. I walked in to what could only be described as a family diner. I didn’t know how it had managed to survive in downtown LA, but even with the late hour, the place was full of people.
“Dustin, my man! How’s it going?”
The manager greeted Dustin with a handclasp, hug, and pat on the back. Apparently, Dustin wasn’t lying—he was a regular.
“Good, good. Table for two, please.”
The manager turned to me. He had kind eyes and a friendly demeanor that made him seem a lot younger than the head of white hair he had.
“And who’s this lovely lady?” he asked.
“Oh, this is Samantha, an old…friend of mine, from Philly.”
The manager looked between us before reaching out to shake my hand.
“I see. Welcome, Samantha. I’m Ray. Sure is nice to see Dustin bringing a friend.”
“Oh, thank you. It’s nice to meet you, Ray.” I smiled back.
“Come on and follow me, you two, and we’ll get you all set up.”
Dustin gestured me ahead again, with a light hand on the small of my back. His touch sent tingles up my spine, and I had to focus hard on following Ray to a booth all the way in the back of the restaurant.
“Here you are,” Ray announced.
I slid into the booth and Dustin sat opposite me.
“You two need a menu, or you just gonna get your usual?” Ray asked.
“I’ll have a Philly cheesesteak, spicy fries, and a lemonade,” I said before Dustin could answer.
He grinned at me. “Took the words right out of my mouth.”
I grinned back, and Ray left us to fill our orders.
Dustin leaned back against the booth, staring at me.
“What?” I asked, wondering if there was something on my face.
“I’m enjoying this side of you.”
“What side?”
He shrugged, then pointed his finger at me and waved it in a circle.
“The jeans-wearing side.”
I laughed. “Thanks, I think.”
“Just being honest,” he continued, still looking me up and down.
“Right,” I told him. “They didn’t feed us much at the dinner…not that I had much of an appetite.”
“Bad company?”
“You could say that,” I grumbled, then smiled to lighten the moment up. “So, you rescue any cats lately?”
“In fact, three in the last month,” he replied.
“Seriously?”
“I mean, it’s not as exciting as saving people from a fire, but people are usually pretty appreciative.”
“Lot of fires around here?” I asked, fighting the nervous tremble that accompanied thinking about the topic.
“Lately, a lot more wildfires because it’s been pretty dry. We’re in the middle of a break, but the wildfire season can get pretty intense. Saving lots of animals and people, then.”
“Wow.” I shuddered. “It’s definitely a calling, what you do.”
Slowly, I felt myself relaxing more and more as I recalled exactly how much Dustin and I had connected during the mistaken not-quite-blind date five years before.
“So, why was it so important to move here?” I asked. “I mean, if you’re still a firefighter, couldn’t you have stayed in Philly?”
“I could have, sure, but that wasn’t my only dream. I’ll never stop loving my work as a firefighter, but I wanted a career as a stuntman, a way to push myself to different extremes, but also get paid for it.”
“Why not just do that full-time, then?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Because firefighting is good for the soul, you know?” he answered simply.
His words cut to my core, and I was silent for a moment before speaking again.
“I did the opposite, I think,” I told him. “My chosen path meant I pursued a safe, steady career, and I did, but it has nothing to do with my real passion.”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
Now it was his turn to sound curious.
“Well, I guess I, uh, I’ve really always wanted to care for animals,” I blurted.
“Really?” he asked, genuinely surprised.
“Really. I didn’t realize that until just now, I think, when it said it out loud for the first time. But I mean, I don’t even have a pet.”
“Not even a cat?”
I shrugged and shook my head.
Fortunately, a waiter arrived with our orders just in time to save me from trying to answer why I’d avoided getting a pet. Not avoided, exactly. Just put off for some other time, when my career was settled and my life on track—whatever that meant.
“How is it?” Dustin asked.
I took a bite and almost moaned. My eyes widened with pleasure, so I looked back at Dustin and nodded in approval, too busy with chewing to answer.
“I’ll take that as a thumbs-up.”
I smiled around my chewing, but he switched his focus into biting into his own Philly cheesesteak. When I finally got my breath back, I took a sip of lemonade to clear my throat.
“This is crazy good,” I told him. “I can’t believe it’s been so long since I had one of these.”
“What’s crazy is that you had to come to LA to get one.”
We both burst out laughing. He had a point.
“Maybe I just needed the right company,” I said quietly.
“Well, now that I can definitely agree with,” he asserted.
“How often do you come and get these?” I asked.
“Hmm, good question. Some days I don’t want to cook, so I’ll call ahead and pick one up. Sometimes, I’ll order in from the station, and they’ll make a special delivery. That’s really how they probably got to know me. I don’t actually come and eat here all that often.”
“I see. This must be a special occasion.”
He nodded his head as he looked at me intently.
“It sure it, Samantha.”
And there it was—the blush I’d managed to keep down this entire time. Heat crept across my face as he continued staring at me.
“You know, you’re even more beautiful when you blush.”
His words only deepened the red on my cheeks, making me wonder if my forehead and nose were taking part in the action.
“Thank you,” I muttered.
He continued to stare at me. In an attempt to divert his attention, I tried to change the subject.
“What about you? Does anything make you blush?”
His expression told me he’d never been asked that before.
“Me, blushing… Huh. I guess that depends on what you consider a blush.”
“Are you kidding? It’s when your cheeks get red,” I told him rather haughtily.
He laughed outright, then.
“In that case, I blush every single day, since my face gets pretty red when I work out.”
“Oh.”
He totally had a point.
“See, what I was going to ask before you interrupted me, Miss Samantha, is
what kinds of things make you blush. Then, I could answer your question better.”
His teasing tone made me redden again, and he immediately noticed.
“See? That, there. Why did you blush?”
“Um, I guess, honestly, because I felt a little embarrassed,” I told him.
“But why? Why should anything I say make you feel uncomfortable with yourself?”
He was genuinely curious, but now, so was I.
“You know, I never thought about it from that angle,” I answered him. “I mean, I spend so much time at work pretending I don’t have any emotions, so maybe when I’m away from there and with someone I’m…you know…”
“Know what?” he asked, but it was clear he was trying to get me to admit to both of us that I was enjoying myself sitting there with him.
My flush deepened, making me slightly exasperated with myself.
“Someone I find…interesting,” I finished rather awkwardly.
“So when you’re with someone you find interesting, you blush.”
He drawled his response out, knowing what I was still trying to avoid saying. It wasn’t, in fact, just any interesting person that caused that kind of reaction in me—it was someone I was extremely attracted to.
And, sitting there across the table from him in that diner, I found I was tremendously drawn to him. My pulse hadn’t quite settled down since he’d picked me up in his red convertible, maybe not since the elevator incident.
Plus, my body was hyper-aware of his, as if some electrical current connected us on an unseen level that I felt deep inside of me and had no desire to sever.
Maybe Dustin saw it. Maybe he was just playing with me. But for the first time that night, I hoped he was truly being genuine with me. Because I very much wanted to like him again.
So I decided to be completely honest with him.
“When I blush, it’s usually because I’m feeling self-conscious, because I’m attracted to whoever is talking to me.”
A spark entered his eyes, but he only leaned in closer.
“I think it’s more than that,” he replied.
“What do you mean?” I asked, unconsciously mirroring his movements and leaning in.
“I think you blush when you’re around someone you’re attracted to, who is also pretty into you.”
My face, which had managed to cool, flamed once more. But at the same time, my heart sped up. I hadn’t expected him to put it that way, but he hadn’t hesitated at all in admitting it. Dustin was into me, and now he knew I was feeling the same.
I hadn’t expected that, but then again, I hadn’t expected any of this evening to happen.
Feeling a bit more relaxed, I leaned back and decided to dig a little deeper.
“You didn’t answer my question. Do you ever blush?”
I stared at him, trying not to blink, hoping that maybe his face might redden under his tan.
“I don’t. And I think that’s because I don’t feel regrets with my choices—there’s only me to blame, right? And if I’m attracted to someone, I’m not ashamed of it. Does that make sense? I want to embrace life and every ball it throws.”
“Even the bad ones?”
He nodded. “Even those. It’s how we grow, right?”
“Yeah. I guess I never really thought about it that way. I’ve had some tough times I haven’t quite gotten past.”
He stretched out his arm and laid his hand softly on mine. A frisson of energy quivered through me at his touch. It wasn’t sexual, exactly. More like a feeling of the connection between us tightening.
“Speaking of which, there’s something I gotta get out of the way.”
I remained still. Whatever he needed to say, it was serious. I just hoped it wasn’t another goodbye.
Chapter 10
Dustin
I was alternately amused, then challenged, by Samantha’s question. Our flirty banter had turned unexpectedly solemn when we both examined our reasons to or not to blush.
That was about when I thought that might be a good time to really clear the air between us. But right when I was about to start, a waiter appeared and asked if we wanted refills.
“Sure,” Samantha told him.
I pointed to the bar. “Can I get a beer? The house special.”
The waiter nodded, filled our glasses, and left to get my order.
“Ooh, must be serious if you need a beer,” she suddenly teased.
“Well, a little extra fortitude goes a long way,” I told her.
“Oh? You need some strengthening up?”
She looked my arms up and down, and though I knew she meant to be playful, a slow flush spread across her neck as she checked me out. I fought the urge to flex my biceps and make her blush even more. I really needed to make my confession.
Fortunately, the waiter was back almost instantly.
“Will there be anything else?”
“I’m good,” I replied.
Samantha shook her head, and the waiter finally left us alone.
“So, what were you gonna say?” she asked.
“It’s not really a matter of what, but how.”
“Sounds serious.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and she gave me a cheeky smile. I decided to just plunge right in.
“Look, Samantha. I know I said I was sorry before, but I really want to apologize the right way.”
She leaned back into the booth and crossed her arms. I kept my gaze firmly focused on her face, but I couldn’t help but notice how her breasts jutted out even further with the motion.
“What do you mean?”
I silently shook myself and dove into the speech I’d practiced saying to her in my head for the past five years.
“Last time, I left things a mess. We connected and I ignored that because I was so focused on myself and what I thought I wanted. But over the past five years, I’ve changed. I wasn’t looking for commitment before, but now…I am. And I’ve never forgotten you. I wished over and over that there was some way I could find you again. And tonight, against all odds, I did.”
At this, she finally smiled at me, with her entire body—just the way I remembered.
“You did find me, even if I was beyond frustrated,” she told me.
“Because of that ex of yours?”
She grimaced. I couldn’t blame her. That guy looked like trouble.
“That’s part of it, yes, but mostly because I had to be around him all day. Not sure how I’m going to handle the entire weekend.”
“Can’t you just avoid him outside your meetings?”
She rolled her eyes up to the ceiling.
“Oh, wouldn’t that just be the easiest thing.” She looked back at me. “The hotel booked us into the same room.”
“Are you kidding?” I asked incredulously.
“I couldn’t make it up if I tried. Apparently, Alistair’s secretary booked a room together because we were dating, even though it wasn’t confirmed that either of us would actually go. When we broke up, Alistair never bothered to try and change it back.”
“He wants to get back into your pants,” I deduced.
“Yeah, I worked that out. It’s kind of awful, really.”
I stretched my arms out across the back of the booth as I answered.
“Well, with a name like that, there’s bound to be issues.”
She giggled for a moment, then her expression grew serious again.
“But that’s just this weekend. Honestly, I’ve been unhappy with my life in general.”
“Why?”
“Um, I guess I think the bigger issue is that I’m frustrated with work in general. I mean, yeah, I run a team, but I still just feel like another cog in the machine, and if I fail, I can be easily replaced. People are sometimes surprised at how young I am to be a senior executive, but it’s just a title. I’ve still got all kinds of bosses, and they don’t really see me. It’s like, I just don’t feel appreciated. In some ways, I’m jealous of you.”
�
�Me?” I asked, surprised. “Because you want to fight fires?”
She giggled and I fought the impulse to do the same. It was an infectious sound, I realized.
“No, silly. It’s because you do something you love, and—like you said—it’s good for the soul.” Her expression sobered. “I want to make a difference, too.”
“You still can, you know. How about volunteering somewhere?”
“I go twice a week to walk shelter dogs waiting to get adopted. But…I can’t make a living off that.”
“True, but you can’t let the fear of missing bills keep you from taking a chance.”
She shook her head.
“It’s easy for you. You dug right into your career and you’re set for life. But I’ve been working at mine ever since I got out of high school, and it feels like, if I quit now, I just wasted all that time, right? I don’t know if I have it in me to start over.”
“Maybe you just need the right motivation,” I hinted.
She smiled at the insinuation in my voice.
“Maybe you’re right. But I’m not used to not knowing what direction to go in. I’ve always had a plan, ever since…well, for pretty much half my life.”
“Okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. But do a little research. See what’s out there. Then, you can make a new plan. Or…”
I trailed off to take a quick sip of my beer.
“Or what?” she prompted.
The impatience in her voice caused me to grin.
“Or you can wing it.”
“Wing it? What does that mean?”
The shock in her voice made me want to laugh, but I held back, wanting her to understand what I meant. About her life. About us, maybe. We’d begun with me winging it, so to speak, which meant she might be open to that idea again.
“It means take a chance. Dive in. Quit your job and see what happens.”
She started shaking her head before I even finished.
“I honestly have no idea if I have it in me to ever do anything like that.”
“Like I said, you just need the right motivation.”
This time, I downright smirked at her, wanting her to know that I could become a big part of said reason to change her life.
“Maybe that’s part of the problem. Yeah, I’ve been dating on and off, but I’ve felt so alone for half of my life that I don’t know how to really let anyone in. I don’t know how to start healing.”
His Eternal Flame Page 7