The spot is a significant one, I guess you could say. In our early high school years, whenever we managed to sneak a bit of liquor from her mom’s cabinet, we’d head over here. Sometimes, we’d meet up with friends, but other times, it would be just the two of us, sipping on forbidden whiskey and watching the moon rise or the clouds drift by.
Thinking about it now, I realize that the times with just the two of us were the best. Despite the pack of friends I surrounded myself with in high school, most of those relationships don’t mean anything now.
But one person still does.
“I’m coming up,” I say, hoisting myself onto the bleachers and taking a seat next to her.
“How nice of you to formally announce your arrival,” she dryly responds.
I nudge her with my shoulder. “You still have your humor intact. That’s good.”
She tries to smile, but it quickly turns into a frown. “I can’t believe her.”
There’s so much pain in her voice, I think just the sound of it is cracking my soul in two.
“Don’t. You don’t need to believe or pay attention to anything anyone else says.”
“She’s my mother,” Violet whispers.
“I know.” I nod, throat becoming increasingly thicker. “She’s surprised right now. Who knows how she’ll feel in a week.”
Violet rolls her eyes. “Probably the same.”
“Violet,” I rasp.
She stares at me. Her tears have dried, but her eyes are big and full of emotion. The reality that she’s carrying a little person we made together hits me once more. It’s still hard to believe.
“What?” she asks.
“I…” I trail off.
I want to kiss you. Want to be everything to you. Want to love you until the day we die.
“I’m here for you,” is all I say. “No matter what, I’m here for you. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, says, or does. All right?”
Biting the bullet, I take both her hands in mine. Fresh tears spring into her eyes.
“Okay,” she whispers.
She goes to wipe away her tears, but I stop her hand.
“No,” I whisper. “There’s nothing wrong with showing you have a heart.”
As the words tumble from my mouth, I realize they’re not just for Violet. They’re for me, as well.
“I love you, Violet,” I choke out.
Her eyes go round, but it’s too late for me to stop now. The truth is barreling this way, and it has the force of years of unacknowledged feelings behind it.
“I don’t just mean as a friend,” I rush to add. “I love you in the way a man really loves a woman. I’m in love with you, Violet. I know that wasn’t part of our agreement at all, that I shouldn’t have fallen for you, but God, it’s hard, okay? It’s damn hard when you’re so beautiful and strong and smart. If this is insane, just tell me, and I’ll shut up. I’ll never mention it again. I’ll still be a good dad, I’ll show up to everything, be there every—”
Violet presses her mouth to mine, instantly ending the speech. Now, it’s my turn to blink in surprise.
I’m only in shock for a moment, though. Violet is kissing me. Does this mean…?
Running my hands through her hair, I give her a long kiss back. Her fingers curl on the tops of my thighs, and her tongue dances across mine.
I could kiss her until the end of time, but there’s talking that needs to be done.
With a gasp, I break my lips from hers. “Violet, do you—”
“I love you too, Sean. I always have.” She frantically shakes her head. “Ever since the day in the cafeteria when you brought me sunflowers for my birthday.”
I chuckle, but it’s a kind of laugh I’ve never heard from myself—one full of heart-stopping emotion.
“You knew then?” I ask.
“Yes,” she whispers, smiling through new tears.
“I think I did, too,” I quietly say, gently holding the sides of her head and looking deep into her eyes. “I was just too dumb to admit it.”
“We needed to grow up. That’s what it is.”
“Yeah?” I run my thumb along her lower lip, and she nods. “Well, thank God we finally have.”
Before she can answer, I take her mouth with mine.
Chapter 22
Violet
Sean’s apartment door opens with a bang, and we tumble through and bump into the wall, hands still on each other. With each inhale I take, his lips are in a new place: my eyelids, my cheek, my neck. I want to breathe him in and keep him with me forever.
“Violet,” he murmurs against my neck.
His soft, hot breaths kiss me as his hand goes under my shirt and lovingly rubs my belly. I open my mouth to respond, but only a gasp comes out. After all this time—all this wanting, those years apart, these weeks walking a thin line and feeling torn the whole time—there are no words.
I love this man with every fiber of my being, and us finally ending up together seems to confirm one big truth: the world is really a wonderful place. All the things that never made sense—my longings for Sean and a family—finally do. My brain kept telling me no, I couldn’t have what I desperately needed. But my mind was wrong. It was my heart that knew the truth all along.
Sean has me up against the wall, one arm pressed into the plaster above my head. I pull at his shirt, bringing him closer to me. With my body fully pressed to his, I send my tongue between his lips, making sure to get a taste of each inch of his mouth.
A pleasurable growl rumbles in his throat, feeding the hunger growing inside me. Seizing me by the waist, Sean turns me around and away from the wall. Not breaking our kiss, he walks me backwards and further into the room. My legs hit the back of the couch, and then start shaking as Sean sucks on the most sensitive part of my neck. I clutch at the couch for support, half-sure my legs are about to buckle.
Opening my eyes for a brief second, I see the open door.
“Are you going to close that?” I giggle.
Sean straightens up and looks. His hair is a mess from where I’ve been grabbing it since we kissed on the bleachers, and it couldn’t look any better if he tried.
“Oh. Right,” he answers.
Crossing the living room, he kicks the door shut. By the time he turns around, I have my top off. Eyes on his, I suggestively drop it to the floor. Hunger flashes in Sean’s eyes, and he pounces.
Dropping to his knees in front of me, he kisses my stomach as he works my pants off. I quickly step out of them, wasting no time shimmying from my panties as well. Sean reaches up and unhooks my bra, which also falls to the floor. The slight chill in the room makes me shiver, but I know Sean’s firm hands will be warming me up soon enough.
Spreading my thighs, he moans in anticipation, his warm exhale grazing my opening. I clutch the back of the couch harder as his tongue delicately flicks my nub. The one little touch sends a torrent of pleasure through me. Before I’m done enjoying it, Sean nudges a finger between my lower lips. My body accepts it eagerly, pulling hard at his hand as he continues to gently lick me.
Repetitive hits of ecstasy slam into me, coming closer and closer together. I twist my fingers into Sean’s hair and scream his name as I come long and hard.
My legs are trembling as he stands and presses against me. Our tongues dance together, the slightest hint of my flavor resting on his. With a pop, he pulls his lips from mine and strips completely.
“Finally,” he grins, gaze drinking me up as if it’s the first time he’s seen me naked.
“Mm-hmm,” I agree, too busy running my hands down his torso and wrapping my fingers around his thick length to form any real words.
As we kiss, I gently stroke his dick, enjoying the heat that travels through my palms and all the way into my belly. The taste for him grows stronger, and I slowly get onto my knees and take him into my mouth. Eyes open, I watch Sean’s face as I swallow his full length. His features contort in pleasure, and his hand digs into my shoulder.
&nb
sp; Unable to look away from him, I lethargically bob my head, using my hand for added stroke. Salty pre-cum trickles down my throat, and I can feel my own wetness gathering between my legs.
I give a good, long suck, and Sean stiffens in my mouth before carefully pulling out. Taking my hands in his, he helps me to my feet. Silently, because no words are needed, we walk to his bedroom. Once through the doorway, he helps me onto the bed, where I lay on my back in the center, completely ready to give myself over to him.
Our gazes locked together, Sean slowly lays down next to me, and I roll on my side so I can look him in the eye. His hand sweeps down my hair and over my shoulder, and the intensity of his eyes is so strong it feels like a second touch.
I run my finger over his lips and down his chin, enjoying first the softness, then the hints of rough stubble. My hand lands near his heart, which beats wildly.
Taking my hand, Sean lifts it to his mouth and gives it a languid kiss. The simple action fills my heart with love.
How did I get to this place? And so fast, as well?
All those ‘failed’ relationships, the disappointments. None of them matter anymore. They don’t even need to make sense. The past is nothing but a distant memory, and maybe a dream more than anything else. I have Sean, and soon, we’ll start our own family. Nothing else matters anymore.
We move toward each other as one, our lips falling into their perfect rhythm. Each sweep of his mouth against mine brings me to new highs.
“You’re mine, Violet,” Sean whispers against my open mouth, his hand firmly on my hip. “Forever.”
I moan in agreement, collapsing onto my back. Sean cautiously positions himself on top of me, being careful not to drop his full weight. His fingers intertwine with mine, his body heat covering me like the most perfect blanket. My body is already parting for him, welcoming him in as he pushes deep inside.
My walls stretch around his length, and every cell in my body relaxes. I’m melting away, but Sean is here to hang on tight to and keep me in one piece. His forehead drops to mine, and he rocks deep into me. Pleasure spirals up my core, shooting into my toes and fingers. I feverishly kiss Sean, wanting to show him just how good he makes me feel.
The pleasure pools deep in me, turning into a lake of ecstasy that I sink into. Sean keeps it slow and steady, making the sensations longer and sweeter. When I come undone, it seems to go on forever. I cry out, Sean kissing me deeply the whole time.
With my body shaking from the aftereffects, Sean pumps a little faster. I wrap my legs around his waist, locking him to me as he releases.
Tenderly, I lower my aching legs. Sean drops next to me and burrows his face into the crook of my neck. Our breathing patterns rise and fall together, creating a beautiful song.
Turning my face sideways, I press myself closer to Sean. Every time I blink, my lashes brush against his cheek. With his arm slung over me and his heat and love hanging in the air, everything is perfect. Right. Complete.
I’m dimly aware of the light in the room disappearing, but it means nothing. Right now, anything that doesn’t directly have to do with Sean doesn’t exist.
* * *
After what might be ten minutes or two hours, Sean shimmies slightly back so he can look into my face.
“Damn, you look good.”
Heat pricks my cheeks. “It’s thanks to you.”
His face softens, turning thoughtful. “Do you want to talk about our parents?”
I sigh.
“What is there to say? My mom is going to think what she’s going to think. At least I can hope she’ll come around, one day. I have you.” I splay my fingers across his chest. “That’s what matters.”
“What about when she finds out we’re together now?”
That makes me frown. “Right. I guess she’ll be getting what she wants, then.”
Sean’s laughter fills the room.
“Just don’t dump me because it’s the opposite of what your mother wants.”
“Never,” I promise, smiling.
“So, my mom knew about the clinic, huh?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “My mom told her, and then she kind of cornered me some weeks back. She basically said what you have. Mom will come around…maybe.”
Sean lifts and rearranges my hair across my shoulder. Every time he touches me, I tremble with pleasure.
“What are you thinking?” he murmurs.
My eyes fall on his perfect, green ones. “Nothing. Just feeling…this.”
Sean’s gaze melts. “I’ve been so dumb, Violet.”
“Don’t.” I press a finger to his lips. “That doesn’t matter.”
He gently lowers my hand.
“I’m not going to let you down. I promise. Whatever it is that you and the baby need, I’ll be there to give it to you. Always.”
“All you need is to be yourself Sean, all right? Just be honest with me, and I’ll do the same with you. Beyond that, promises are hard to keep.”
“Not for me,” he earnestly answers. “Have you ever seen me go back on my word?”
“Yeah. When you said this thing…” I gesture between the two of us. “Would be no strings attached.”
He tosses his head back with a laugh. “Okay. One time. That’s all. And that’s because I couldn’t help the way I love you.”
It sounds like a line, but I know it’s the truth, and it makes me smile wide.
“I’m yours, Violet.”
I briefly close my eyes and shake my head. As good as that sounds, I can’t allow Sean to completely put his identity on the line.
“Don’t give yourself up like that.”
“I already have,” he breathlessly says. I open my eyes to see he means it. “This is what I want. Believe me.”
A lump of sweet emotion forms in my throat. “I believe you.”
“I want to be with you.” Sean cups my face. “There’s no going back.”
“No going back,” I repeat with a whisper. I like the sound of that.
He solemnly nods.
“I know I should say that whatever happens between us, I’ll always be there to raise our kid—and that’s true—but, honestly, nothing will tear me away from you. I know that.”
“How?” I press.
His answer comes right away.
“Because settling down wasn’t even part of my plan, and now, here I am, wanting it more than anything else…because it’s with you.”
My heart swells.
“This is settling down?”
“I mean it in a good way,” he says through a pursed smile.
I look down at the comforter, taking a moment to think about that.
“Hey, Sean?”
“Mm-hmm?”
My eyes jump back up to his. “Let’s settle down together.”
Chapter 23
Violet
“Is it too much? All the flowers?” Kaila rearranges yet another bouquet on the long banquet table.
“Too many flowers? No such thing. Besides, we have to represent Flower Power somehow.” I give her a wink.
With the flower situation settled, Kaila turns her frenzied attention on me.
“How are you?”
“Fine.” I shrug. “Why?”
Her eyes trail down to my swollen belly.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you look like you’re gonna pop any second.”
I drum my fingers along my giant baby bump and laugh.
“I’m gonna miss being pregnant.”
“Aw. That’s sweet.”
“But it will be nice to be able to drink again.”
The new bell on the gallery’s front door sings, and we look over to see Sean entering. At the sight of him, my stomach does a cartwheel, just as it always does. It’s been almost eight months since we officially got together, and each day, somehow, I fall a little more in love.
“Hey,” he breathes, eyes on me the whole time he crosses the gallery.
“Hi,” I murmur, turning my face up to accept
his kiss.
With his lips on mine and his hand gently pressed to my belly, I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss on.
“You two are sickeningly sweet.” Kaila’s voice breaks the reverie.
Sean pulls back with a chuckle, though he gives the baby one more loving caress.
“Sorry, not sorry. Where should I put this?” He holds up the cake box, which I somehow didn’t notice before.
“Anywhere on the table,” I instruct.
Setting the cake down, he comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my torso and pressing his cheek to the side of my head.
“It looks great, babe.”
“Yeah,” I slowly agree, taking in the wall filled with my paintings.
Kaila stands on a ladder near the front, pinning the last streamer to the door frame.
All I can think as I stare at my abstract paintings, canvasses colored with all the colors of the island I love so much—blues, oranges, deep and bright greens—is that life really never goes as planned. I figured that, this year, being one of the busiest ones of my life, I’d have no time to paint.
But boy, was I wrong.
Maybe it’s the hormones surging through me, or the fact that I’ve never been happier, but the last six months have been the most creative ones of my life. It’s like I can’t put the paintbrushes down.
“Here they come,” Sean announces.
I look back over to the door to see his parents and my mother coming through. Mom’s eyes light up when she sees me, and she makes a beeline in my direction.
Though things haven’t been perfect between us, life has definitely been easier. We both apologized for the things we said that day at her house, and we’ve come to a kind of relaxed agreement to try to be nice to each other.
I know that part of her coming around has to do with me and Sean being in a committed relationship. Maybe that should piss me off, but honestly, I don’t care. I don’t have the brain cells to be angry about what someone else thinks. I’m way too preoccupied with being happy.
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