Ethan sighs heavily, and the chair creaks as he stands.
“Noelle.”
I wait for more, but if it exists, Ethan doesn’t say it.
“I talked to Harmony,” I say, still facing the window.
The silence is oppressive. I close my eyes, wanting to shut off the pain. So much time is passing, so much silence… I can’t bear it any longer.
Just as I turn to face Ethan, he takes a careful step toward me. “Harmony Greggor?”
I nod pathetically. “She told me what really happened that night. She said—”
Ethan puts a hand up, stopping me. His eyes are closed, his nostrils flaring.
“I don’t want to hear any more.”
“But, Ethan, it was a misunderstanding. It was—”
“Leave.” His eyes pop open, but he turns away from me, hiding himself. “Just go, Noelle.”
He walks over to his desk, keeping his back to me as he busies himself with some papers.
“You really don’t want to hear about what happened?”
Ethan stops pretending to be busy and grabs hold of the edge of his desk. His shoulders slump over, his head dropping.
“I have a lot to deal with right now, and this is the last thing I need. Don’t make me tell you to leave again.”
The disgust in his words make me shake. I take a trembling step, then another. I thought Ethan might be angry over what I’d done, but I didn’t think he would push me away like this.
I keep my face turned down as I pass the secretary. The bathroom halfway down the hall is a welcome respite, and I dart in to take a moment to calm down.
Leaning against the sink, I stare at my reflection. Ethan might hate me for what I did, but I can’t. I was trying to help.
But where has my desire to help gotten me? Is he going to end our relationship now? Fire me?
I shake my head against the thought. I need this job. An opportunity like this doesn’t come along every day for someone who’s fresh out of college.
What’s more, I can’t stand the thought of never seeing Ethan again. I like him. A whole lot. Actually, what I feel for him is closer to love. It’s not the giddy, sweep-me-off-my-feet love, but more the tender, sweet kind. Regardless, it’s big. I care for Ethan.
Dabbing mascara away from under my eyes, I go back to my desk. It’s a lonely place to be. Graham’s arrival a few minutes later doesn’t make it better.
“Got a new assignment for you,” he says. “Check your email.”
“Thanks.” I give him a quick smile before turning to my computer and loading my email. He’s still here, though. I can feel him staring me down.
A moment later and he’s taking the hard chair next to me. The one that no one else has sat in since I started here.
“Hey, so I heard something interesting.” He drops his voice on the end of the sentence.
“Uh-huh?”
Graham glances over his shoulder, but no one is paying us any mind. “It seems Mr. Ford has taken quite an interest in you.”
My heart pounds. “What do you mean?”
He waggles his eyebrows. “Oh, I think you know what I’m getting at.”
He’s baiting me, waiting for me to say something incriminating. I just shrug.
“He hasn’t been inappropriate with me or anything, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“Hm.” Graham leans back, still studying me.
“Well, I should check out this new assignment. When is it due?”
“Day after tomorrow.” His raps his knuckles on my desk. “Hey, Noelle… You know we’re friends, right? You can share anything you want to with me.”
Us being friends is news to me.
Graham goes on. “Honestly, if it was me, I wouldn’t mind a little attention from Ethan Ford Jr. The man is a Greek statue come to life.”
“He is pretty cute,” I agree, simply in an attempt to keep my cover going.
“Hmm. Just imagine what he’s got swinging from that tool belt.”
I have the assignment email pulled up now, and I quickly scan it. “What’s the word count for this?”
“Eight hundred.”
“Okay.” I jot that down.
Graham scoots his chair closer. Now I have no choice but to look at him.
“Tell me the truth, Noelle,” he whispers. “Is something going on between you and Ford Jr?”
I swallow hard, but I swear, if anyone can smell fear, it’s Graham. One of his brows rises just the slightest bit, daring me to lie.
“Nothing is going on,” I say. “He keeps calling me into his office because he wants to check my progress on the Zach Garner piece. It’s super important to him, for some reason.”
“Okay.” Graham’s tone of voice makes it clear he’s not satisfied. He leaves, though, finally giving me some peace and quiet.
I want to run and hide in the bathroom again, but I’ve already done that once today. And doing that would solve nothing.
For now, there’s nothing to do but keep pushing forward and hope this whole situation I’ve created isn’t the ticking time bomb I’m terrified it is.
Chapter 17
I peruse what feels like an endless shelf of reds. The bottles all blur together, none of them jumping out at me.
I don’t know why I’m picking up a bottle of wine. Zach probably has a whole secret room in his penthouse full of wine. Still, I just felt like I couldn’t show up empty-handed. Even if my offering is a twenty-dollar Merlot from the sale rack, it’s something.
Paying for the wine, I trudge out into the dark street and to my car. Ten minutes later and I’m in front of Zach’s building, handing my keys over to the building’s valet, who promises to park it in the underground lot. As I step into the lobby, the knot in my stomach tightens.
The ride in the elevator doesn’t help. Each floor climbed creates another twist in my gut. This is it. I’m going to tell Zach the truth.
And maybe lose him.
I haven’t heard from Ethan since he kicked me out of his office earlier today, and I don’t know if I ever will again. Everything is so uncertain now. My job. My relationships. The rest of the work day was spent on pins and needles, with me expecting to receive word of my dismissal.
But it never came. Unfortunately, neither did a personal message from Ethan.
I hang my head as the elevator opens. I would take anything from him right now—an angry letter, a belittling rant. Just to know what he’s feeling and thinking would be a gift. But instead he’s given me only silence. It’s the worst kind of punishment.
Zach’s place is open, and I go right in. It’s strange to be in his foyer again. The last time I was here, I was reeling from the shock of finding out he wasn’t the person he said he was.
“Hey.” He appears in the doorway to the kitchen, looking fresh in a tight white T-shirt. His whole vibe right now says more ‘Star Quarterback’ than ‘Reclusive Billionaire’.
He’s so perfect I think my heart is about to break in two.
I can’t lose him as well.
“I was just prepping the fish.” He steps forward and gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “Wine?”
“Yeah, it’s probably not that great. Sorry. I don’t know much about wine.”
He inspects the label. I’m sure now that I got the wrong bottle. Isn’t it white that’s supposed to be drunk with fish?
“Come on.” He takes my hand and we go into the kitchen, where there’s a full spread of uncooked fish and chopped vegetables laid out.
“Want me to open this now?”
I set my purse on one of the stools but don’t take my own seat. It doesn’t seem right; I don’t feel at home here. Not with what might be going down soon.
“Noelle?”
“Oh. Um. Sure. I mean, only if you want some.”
He sets the bottle on the counter near the stove and eyes me. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah.” I smile. “Do you need any help with anything?”
�
��No, just have a seat. Everything is about ready to be cooked.”
With no other choice, I do as he says. I can’t stop my hands from twisting around each other, though. In my purse, my phone buzzes.
Ethan?
Telling me that everything is cool between us? Telling me that I’m fired and he never wants to see me again?
“How was your day?” I ask, my own voice sounding incredibly far away.
Zach uses a little brush to coat the fish with some kind of seasoning mix. “Good. I couldn’t wait for it to end, though.” His hand stills. “I kept thinking of you.”
“Me too,” I breathe. “I kept thinking of you.”
He looks at me across the island, hazel eyes on fire. “The other night at the cabin was…” He blows out a harsh breath. “Amazing.”
“It was,” I gush, a mixed bag of emotions rising in me.
“I can’t wait to take you there again. I have some clients coming into town this weekend, but if you’re free the one after that maybe we can head out then.” He gets busy once more, talking as his hands fly. “We could head out on Friday. There’ll be traffic, but at least we’ll get to the cabin with a head start.”
Oh, Zach. Passionate, romantic, intense Zach. I have to tell him the truth now. If I don’t, I’ll chicken out and maybe never do it.
Sitting up straight, I go for it.
“I want to tell you something about the article.”
He briefly glances my way. “How is that going?”
“It’s written, but…it kind of led me down another road.”
“What do you mean?”
“I asked Ethan about what happened between you guys years ago. He said that you stole his girlfriend, but I couldn’t believe that. So I did some digging and I found her. I found Harmony. She… She told me about what happened graduation night.”
Zach stares at me, eyes wide, face frozen.
“I know you’re probably angry at me,” I quickly say, “but I wasn’t trying to infringe on your personal life. I just needed to know.”
The excuse is so pathetic. Of course I was trying to ‘infringe’ upon his personal life. That was the whole point of this. I wanted to know what had happened years ago, wanted to know what kind of person Zach was, what he was capable of. And I wanted to find confirmation that he and Ethan still had a chance of making up. I couldn’t have gotten more into his business if I had tried.
“Needed to know what?” he flatly asks. His voice is emotionless—not cold, but not full of the life it usually contains.
“If it was true.”
“You think I stole Ethan’s girlfriend?”
“No! I… I didn’t know what to think.”
Zach sighs and comes to his side of the island. His shoulders hang heavy and he’s frowning. It’s killing me to see him this way.
“I shouldn’t be surprised,” he says. “You work for Ethan, after all.” He laughs harshly. “Ethan Ford, Jr. Did he put you up to this? Is this part of his plan?”
“What? No!” I lean forward. “Zach, I needed to know what went down that night, why you guys stopped being friends. I couldn’t wrap my head around what I was being told. I think you’re both such great guys. Why would your friendship just end?”
“It wasn’t me,” he sharply says. “It was all Ethan.”
“Yeah, because he didn’t know the truth.”
Zach’s sigh is long.
“Why didn’t you just go to him?”
His jaw twitches. “I tried that.”
“Really? Did you? Because, just judging from the short amount of time I’ve known you, you’re a headstrong guy. I can see both of you just deciding you hate each other and never talking again.”
Zach’s face grows red. I’ve hit the bullseye. I also don’t like seeing him so mad, though—especially when it’s at me. But I have no one to blame for this situation. I knew I was taking a risk diving into this story. It’s time to face whatever comes.
“Did you go to him?” I ask again.
“You didn’t tell me if I’m right…about you doing this for Ethan.”
“Why are you dodging answering the question?” I cry out, throwing my hands up in the air.
Zach drops his head forward, runs his fingers through his hair.
“I called him. He didn’t answer. The next day, he left me a voice mail saying he never wanted to talk to me again. All right? Are you happy?”
I’m anything but happy.
“Speaking of dodging questions…” His eyes shoot daggers my way.
“I care about you,” I whisper. “Please believe me. This isn’t part of some plan of Ethan’s to bring you down. I was never a part of that, and, honestly, I don’t think that’s his intention any more. He told me to write the article however I wanted to.”
We lock eyes, and the emotion that floods me makes me want to fall to my knees. Don’t go, Zach. I need you.
I’m not going to say such a thing. It’s too soon, and he doesn’t fully trust me.
“So what are you doing?” Zach asks. “What are you publishing?”
“I’m going to publish the one based on the questions I asked you the other day.”
“But you’re also writing a second piece?”
There’s no hiding. Somehow, he reads me like a book.
“Yeah,” I admit. “But I don’t know what I’m going to do with it.” My mouth is dry, but I keep going. “I would never publish something without your permission. Please believe that. This—it just has to do with me. I needed to know…”
My words tumble down to the floor, laying there in a useless heap. I feel like half the person I did when we started this conversation. How can I really expect Zach to understand what I’m talking about? He’s so intensely private. He doesn’t care about what Ethan—or probably anyone else—is doing.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
His long and heavy sigh fills the kitchen. “You haven’t hurt me. This has just… It’s a lot to face.” He stares me down. “I like you, Noelle.”
“I like you, too,” I whisper.
Actually, I think I love you.
Zach rubs his eyes and walks around the island. When he takes my two hands in his, I want to start bawling. What’s happening? Is he about to end things with me?
“You are a sweetheart,” he finally says.
“But?”
He looks at me in confusion. “There is no ‘but’.”
“Oh.”
His thumbs rub the tops of my hands. “I understand why you did what you did. It makes sense.” He reaches up and gently cups my face. “You’re just a caring person. It’s what makes you special.”
I feel like I’m going to collapse from relief. I can’t, though, because Zach is pulling me into his chest and holding me close. I squeeze my eyes shut, losing myself in the safe comfort of his embrace.
He nuzzles the top of my head, and I wrap my arms tight around him. This is perfect. This is where I need to be.
Zach pulls back just enough so that he can lower his face to mine. Our lips, perfectly carved for each other, brush lightly. With sure, careful movements, he kisses me.
The heat rises in me, wrapping around us and pushing us even closer. Zach’s hands work through my hair, his tongue sliding across my teeth.
“You’re mine,” he whispers against my mouth.
A shot of happiness zings through me. I’m his. I belong to Zach…
Except I don’t. Not really.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
I pull back a bit more, unable to stop myself from stiffening. “I need to tell you something else.”
Zach’s arms are still on me, and I almost wish they weren’t. When he hears what I’m about to tell him, there’s a very good chance he might change his mind about everything.
I reach deep into the depths of my soul, looking for some courage. There isn’t any there, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve committed myself to full honesty. It’s time to fo
llow through.
“Something happened between me and Ethan…after I met you. After you and I…got together the first time.”
Understanding washes over Zach’s face, and his Adam’s apple bobs.
“More than once,” I continue, inwardly flinching. Although Ethan and I have only had sex once, we’ve kissed—and made plans to rendezvous again. Acting like it was a one-time thing wouldn’t be fair.
Zach looks down, licks his lips. “Okay.”
We didn’t say we were exclusive. It’s too soon for us to commit to each other. I don’t know if you’re seeing anyone else! It’s the twenty-first century; a girl can do what she wants!
So many excuses fill my head, but I don’t give voice to any of them. This is Zach’s time. I need to hear his reaction, and it needs to come on its own, without any badgering from me.
Finally, he looks back up at me. “I know it’s early for us to have this talk…”
“Uh-huh,” I eagerly nod.
“And we never said this was a closed relationship. Or really a relationship at all.”
“We’ve only known each other, like, a week,” I agree.
His gaze pierces mine. “But I want you, Noelle. You’re supposed to be mine. I just know it.”
I want to laugh and cry at the same time. What he’s saying feels so right. But also…confusing.
“Are you angry?” I ask.
Zach rubs my back. “No. I’m not mad. A little jealous, sure. But that’s normal.”
“Okay.” I nibble on my bottom lip. “Have you…?”
“There hasn’t been anyone else since I met you.”
I feel guilty over how good that news makes me feel.
“We’ll figure this out,” Zach says. “That is, if you want to be mine.”
“I do,” I practically sing.
“Good.” His beautiful smile lights up his face. “Every relationship has its own stipulations and lines. I want to create our own together.”
“I do, too,” I whisper.
Not until he said those words did I fully realize how much I wanted Zach. And now that I have him, I never want to let go.
As he pulls me into him once more, though, there’s something else tickling the back of my mind. I want Zach, yes. We’ve fitted into each other’s lives so perfectly. It’s only been a handful of days, but I can’t imagine ever letting him go.
His Eternal Flame Page 55