Aunt Dora nodded in agreement, but there was a subtle doubt in her eyes that I hoped no one else noticed.
“I won’t come back without my son,” I said, regarding the globe as both friend and enemy.
“I know.” Jillian met each of our gazes individually, as if to offer a quiet moment of comfort. “We will use the portal in the Sister House nursery at dusk. Spend your day in preparation.”
“You just said there are endless possibilities in the Netherworld,” Eve said. “How can we prepare for that?”
“Listen to your inner voice. You won’t need food or water, though it may feel like you do at times. Eating is more pleasurable than necessary in the Netherworld. And you won’t need a change of clothing, either. If you get cold or hot, remind yourself it’s illusory. Bring only what calls to you, no matter how silly or strange it seems now.”
Jillian placed the tip of her index finger on the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes shut. “Remember, your thoughts, hopes, and fears will be used against you. Don’t give the Netherworld any extra leverage. Understand?”
We all nodded like obedient children.
“Let go of the past, because there is no past in the Netherworld. And most importantly, remember who you are and your love for one another. Through all the trials that await you, your love will be what guides you back home.” Jillian opened her eyes and shrugged.
“So… do we pack tents?” Paul asked. “I’m guessing there aren’t any hotels in the Netherworld.”
“There is everything in the Netherworld,” Jillian said. “And there is nothing. It is a collection of all planes, dimensions, times, memories, and dreams. From what I understand, each person’s experience is individual, and we have no idea where you’ll end up. That is why attuning is so important, as is staying close together. Some areas of the labyrinth already exist, and some will be created as you go.”
My head pounded from trying to absorb all this information. “A labyrinth? How are we ever going to find Montana? I’m not sure we can do this, Jillian.”
“I am.”
We all turned towards the back door.
Shane Doler stood in the entry, wiping the mud from the bottom of his boots. His face and hands were dirty, as if he’d been digging. His faded cowboy hat was drawn low, revealing soft gray eyes, red-rimmed with exhaustion.
I caught my breath, my heart beating unexpectedly fast at seeing my new husband. I found it strange that I could be filled with such love while still grieving for my missing son.
“You have a dreamwalker and tracker with you,” Shane said, stepping into the kitchen. He put his hat on the counter and washed his hands. “I’ve traveled these landscapes while sleeping. I’ll figure them out when I’m awake.”
“Well, aren’t you the hero?” Michael said.
Shane released me, staring Michael square in the eye. “Someone has to be.”
2
The Magician
“I’m not sure how to repay you, to repay any of you, for coming with me,” I said, taking Shane’s hand. Though he had washed his hands in Aunt Dora’s sink, there was still a layer of grime on them. He offered no explanation, and I didn’t press. He was here now and that was all that mattered.
My husband leapt onto an ancient tree trunk that had fallen across a brisk stream. He reached out his hand, pulling me up to join him. From this vantage point, we could see much of the forest; it was thinner in this region, opening up into many glades. To the east, the ruins of Jillian’s old studio called to me.
I laid my head on Shane’s shoulder, squeezing him tight. The sun cut through the gathering clouds overhead, illuminating us like actors on a stage. For a moment, I was a princess and he was my grimy-handed prince. I had never been a fan of fairy tales, but now I realized the allure of everlasting love.
He kissed the top of my head and ran his hands along my back. “I love you, Maggie Mae.”
“I love you, too Dork,” I teased, relishing even the smallest movements of his hands as they ran over me.
Shane looked into my eyes, one hand now stroking my cheek, the other brushing my hair. He smelled like wet leaves and earth. He was only slightly taller than me but seemed much larger now. My body reacted. I closed my eyes and our lips met.
His kiss was gentle at first, but grew more insistent and demanding. Our bodies were pressed tight and I felt his desire build beneath his jeans. I bit his earlobe as his warm breath tickled my neck. Our hands roamed wildly. Finally, I moaned and pulled away. I didn’t want our first time as a married couple to be under such circumstances.
My child is missing. I looked at my husband apologetically.
He held up a hand. “You don’t have to say a word. We both deserve better than this. But the second we get back from the Netherworld, I’m taking you on a honeymoon you may never recover from.”
I laughed. “Is that a promise?”
“More like a threat.”
He pulled me into his side, and I felt a surge of pure happiness. “I feel so guilty, Shane. I shouldn’t feel happiness right now.” I looked down at the ground, ashamed. “Right?”
He pointed towards the sky. “Maggie, take any happiness you can find in this world. Happiness is like that sun - we need it to sustain us. Without it, there’s really no point.”
I pressed my lips together, sifting through the guilt. What Shane said made sense. Moments like these were what kept me charged. And if there ever comes a time I can’t remember what the sun feels like, I’ll probably surrender to the shadows.
“Thank you,” I swallowed, my words drying up as I held back more tears.
“Deep breaths,” he said, as I fanned myself.
Jillian had told me to keep a rein on my emotions. So far, I wasn’t doing well. I inhaled and let it go. “Okay. All better.”
He looked dubious but gave an affirmative nod. “We will find Montana, okay? You have to trust me on this. And stop acting like I’m doing you a favor. I blame myself for this entire thing.”
“How can you blame yourself? You weren’t with Montana when he disappeared. Michael was.”
“Yes, but if I hadn’t been… occupying your time, Michael wouldn’t have taken him out of town.”
“Stop it.” I cut him off. “It’s all my fault, although I’ll never admit that to Michael. I knew Larinda was out there. I should never have let Montana out of my sight.” My body trembled and my breath quickened. Control, Maggie. If I couldn’t maintain myself here, how would I possibly deal with my emotions in the Netherworld?
“I suppose we both need to quit feeling guilty,” he said. “The wheels were set in motion long ago, and not even the Council could stop it. Sometimes fate is too strong.”
“Yes,” I agreed, remembering Jillian saying something similar. “Larinda was just waiting for her opportunity. I couldn’t have watched Montana every moment of his life.”
Shane removed his hat and ran his hands through his shaggy brown hair. He looked ruggedly handsome with the new growth on his chin, though he was still thinner than I was used to. “Are you ready to let Michael off the hook, then?” he asked. “He did marry us, after all.”
“I find it amusing that you’re concerned about Michael,” I admitted.
“I’m not his biggest fan. But I do feel a little sorry for the dope. He lost you and his kid… Oh, God, I’m sorry… Maggie. That was completely insensitive.” He looked at me with pleading eyes. “Forgive that comment, please.”
“You’re right.” I slid down from the trunk. The hem of my skirt caught on the bark and ripped, but I didn’t care.
Shane hopped off in one nimble leap.
“I want to forgive Michael, but I can’t,” I said. “Even though it’s illogical, part of me will never forgive him until I have Montana in my arms again.”
“Larinda may have her limitations, but she’s an adept witch,” Shane said, leading me down the narrow path towards the abandoned studio. “There was a reason Sasha kept her around, and it wasn’t becau
se of family loyalty. Uncle Joe and Sasha worried what Larinda would do if she were ever snubbed. They kept a close watch on her. If they were that worried about her, there’s not much Michael could have done.”
“I suppose,” I said, my feet as heavy as my heart. Twenty-four hours ago, life was perfect. Today, there was an emptiness I couldn’t even fathom. When you bring a child into the world, your world becomes your child.
We trekked through the woods, taking turns leading the way. The tree shadows followed, their arms stretched out like the gangly creatures in the crystal ball. The path opened up and we were greeted by a small meadow filled with summer wildflowers. The grass was lush, dotted with jeweled flowers in shades of lavender, topaz, and amethyst. I wrinkled my brow. They hadn’t been here yesterday. But that was how Dark Root worked.
“It seems like the world should stop when you’re grieving,” I said, picking a flower and twirling it in my fingers. “How can everything just go on?”
“When your heart’s broken, it seems a mockery that cows still give milk.”
I laughed so hard I nearly choked. “Thank you,” I said, wiping my eyes. “Your cowboy poetry is just what I needed to cheer me up.”
“You like that? I got a slew more pearls of wisdom tucked away in a journal somewhere.”
“No, thank you. I can only digest so much wisdom at once.” I pointed my chin at the ruins that sat in the center of the clearing. The day was passing too fast. I buried my nose in Shane’s neck, inhaling his familiar scent. We trod through the dense meadow towards the studio. It was strange to see this area so abundant with life and magick, while only a few miles away at Harvest Home the world was depleted.
“I can see why you come here,” Shane said, smiling pleasantly. “It’s very peaceful.” He removed his hat and held it to his chest in reverence. The sun caught the highlights in his hair, and he looked like a grubby angel standing beside a place of pilgrimage.
“Look!” I pointed towards a small tree behind the building. “That wasn’t here yesterday!”
“Are you sure?” he asked.
It was a squat tree, only as tall as I was, with a sturdy trunk and thick branches that swooped gracefully upwards. It was in full leaf, perfect and dewy and green. It seemed to glow, as if kissed by a fairy. We circled the tree, neither of us touching it.
“Is it me, or is it growing even as we stand here?” I asked. I stood perfectly still, watching. Yes. It was taller than me now, by a smidgeon.
“This is either the result of a miracle, or a shit ton of magick,” Shane said.
“I’m beginning to think those two things aren’t entirely unrelated.” I continued my inspection, gazing at it as a child would a Christmas tree, freshly doused in lights and tinsel. It was so beautiful, and so out of place. “I feel very connected to this tree for some reason.”
“This ground is very fertile,” Shane said, digging the toe of his boot into a patch of moist earth. “Do you feel that? Its concentrated. I don’t think this is all Jillian’s residual energy, or yours either.” He poked one of the branches with the tips of his fingers and quickly pulled back. “Wow. That must be what it’s like to shake hands with an electric eel.”
I scratched my head, wondering how it had gotten here. Merry had some life-enhancing abilities, but nothing on this scale. Jillian and Dora were essentially out of magick, and hadn’t left Harvest Home in days. Larinda was ruled out as well - green magick is not a dark witch’s forte.
“Hey, Mags. There’s a dark spot near the bottom. It looks charred.”
Sure enough, there was a mark on the trunk, as though it had been singed. I didn’t dare touch it, for fear of damaging the tree further. Just above the burn mark, there was something tucked into the crook of a branch. It was sky blue, and at first I thought it was a small roosting bird. I carefully plucked it from the tree, and rolled it in my hands, hardly able to believe my eyes.
“Mags? Is that the cap Aunt Dora knitted for Montana?” Shane asked.
“Yes!” I nodded tearfully. He was wearing it the day he disappeared. But how did it get here? I held it to my nose and breathed in the scent of my infant son. It suddenly occurred to me he might be nearby, and I immediately raced into Jillian’s studio, half expecting to see him lying on our picnic blanket, just as he had so many times before.
“Montana! Where are you!?” I called out. “Mommy’s here!”
I raced out into the meadow, and then back again, and then circled the building frantically. Eventually, Shane stepped in front of me.
“He’s not here, Maggie. I’ve tried tracking him. He’s not on this plane.”
“But the tree! And the hat! He’s sending me signs, Shane. I know it!”
I returned to the tree, focusing so intently I feared I’d set it on fire. I felt its power, stemming from deep within the earth. I placed both hands on its trunk and braced for the shock. Though the magick was strong, it didn’t repel me as it had Shane. In fact, it felt reassuring.
“I’m Maggie,” I said, feeling a proper introduction was important. The tree’s lower branches rustled gently. I pressed my ear to its trunk and listened. The tree had a heartbeat!
I looked up at Shane with wide eyes, my ear still pressed to the smooth trunk. The steady beat of a small heart echoed from within. I knew that beat. I had listened to that beat many times while Montana slept on my chest.
“He’s in there!” I said, tapping the trunk. “Montana’s in there!”
“Maggie, are you sure?”
“He’s inside the tree!” I said. “I know it’s crazy, but…”
Shane squatted down and put his own ear to the trunk. We stared at each other, listening to the beat together. Our smiles mirrored one another, growing with every passing thump. “He’s in there,” I whispered, giddy.
Then, abruptly, the beating stopped.
Oh, God. I felt panic rise from the pit of my stomach.
Shane grabbed my wrist, trying to steady me. “It’s a sign, that’s all,” he said. “A sign that your son is okay. Hold on to that.”
“But what if something happened to him?”
“I got a read when I heard him. He’s not in there, exactly. But I think this was his way of letting you know that he’s alive and well, for now.”
For now. There’s that line again. Two of the most beautiful - and dreaded - words ever spoken. I prayed Shane was right.
We stepped away from the tree and I cradled the hat in my hands.
“Hang in there, okay?” Shane said, lifting my chin.
“I just want my happily ever after.”
“And you’ll get it. But if you’ve read any of the stories, you’ll remember there are no happily-ever-afters without a fight first. Now let’s get ready for that fight.”
“Take a picture first, please? I want to show Jillian the tree.”
He took several photos from various angles while I massaged the hat, absorbing every bit of my son’s energy. But the tree, or the Netherworld, had already taken its share. The hat was merely a shell now - but it was my shell.
I reluctantly followed Shane into the studio. It was a place where Jillian had painted long ago, and where I had later come to find my own inner peace. Some of my things were still there: a notebook, a pen, candles, flip-flops, and the small blanket I had used to lounge the afternoons away.
“Sit,” Shane ordered, spreading the blanket. He sat down and crossed his legs, motioning for me to do the same, opposite him. As I did so, he held up his hands and told me to press mine into them.
“Slow, deep breaths,” he said. “I can’t lead you through the Netherworld when your emotions and mind are jumbled. If it’s like the dream world, every thought creates or destroys… and can bring chaos or tranquility. Let’s practice.”
After several guided breaths, I felt my body and mind go soft. “Let go of your fears, Maggie. Can you do that for me?”
“How?”
“Fear is a trick of your mind. Ignore it. Montana is linked t
o you, and I won’t be able to find him if your mind is disorderly. So just focus on the good stuff.”
“But every good thought simply leads me back to fear. Fear of what’s happening to my son. I can’t go anywhere in my mind, Shane.”
“Remember our shared dream world?” he asked, setting his hands on his knees.
I couldn’t help but smile a little. Shane and I had carved out our own fantasy world in our collective dream, when we couldn’t have one here. “I’ve never felt so safe or happy as when I was there.”
“Go into those dreams, but this time, create them as you wish.”
“I’ll try,” I agreed, closing my eyes.
Shane spoke, guiding me back to our private world. At first, it was his words.
“You are in a lush meadow, surrounded by trees. Everywhere you look there are beautiful flowers, in colors so bright they are only possible in a dream…”
Soon, my own imagination took over. I smelled the scent of grass and sunflowers. I felt the breeze tickle my cheeks. I heard birds dancing overhead. A white butterfly floated before me, then settled on a pink flower. We regarded one another with happy curiosity.
“It’s all so real,” I said. It seemed as real as anything I had ever experienced.
Unexpectedly, a wash of vibrant pastels splashed the clear blue sky, as if someone had taken a giant paintbrush and hastily added in… A rainbow.
“You couldn’t stay away, for even a minute?” I asked, smiling as Shane appeared beneath the arch of colors.
He grinned as he sauntered towards me. He was no longer in his cowboy hat and grubby clothes, but in a faded pair of jeans and a clean t-shirt.
“Are you really here?” I asked, reaching for him. We had rendezvoused in his night dreams, but never while we were both awake.
“We are linked, Maggie. Your dream world is now mine, and the other way around.” He lifted my hand to show me the ring on my finger. Our wedding ring.
“Is this your rainbow?” I asked.
“No. If this were my work, there’d be a campfire and a saloon. Maybe a few dancehall girls.” I slugged him playfully in the arm and he pretended it hurt. “The rainbow is all you. You can do anything, Maggie Magick. In any world, dream or otherwise.”
The Shadows of Dark Root (Daughters of Dark Root Book 5) Page 3