by Ali Parker
I pushed my admonishing thought away when her lips curved into a wide smile. It made the hope in my chest surge and balloon. "What was the manly version of it?"
I was about to argue, to tease her that she made her choice and would now have to live with knowing the answer only to the option she chose, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. The moment was too important.
Remember to always be on the lookout for those moments, Sonny. Don’t miss them. I heard my mom’s voice echoing in my head. It was time to man up and face the moment.
"It would have been a shrug, maybe one accompanied with a nod, or maybe just a yeah. I was going to wing it if you chose that one."
She chuckled softly and scooted a few inches closer to me. "I missed you. So much it hurt. I'm not happy without you either."
The hope inside expanded to an ache. I missed her so fucking much. "I miss you too, Niki."
She chewed on the inside of her cheek and nodded thoughtfully. Her eyes lifted to mine, so soft and warm, and yet so filled with doubt. "Do you still want to be with me?"
I had to stop my jaw from dropping. "Of course, I want to be with you. What kind of question is that?"
"The kind a woman has to ask if the man she wants to be with doesn't happen to mention how he feels," she admitted softly, looking back down at the carpet.
I reached out and gently turned her chin so she would look at me. "Is that your way of saying you want to be with me?"
With my heart banging against my ribs, I wasn't sure I would be able to hear her answer. Luckily, my girl didn't only say it; she nodded as well. "I do. I want to be with you, Sonny. But I need to know everything. If we agree to give this another try, I don’t want to be kept in the dark anymore."
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was so sure I’d blown my chance with Niki to smithereens. I hadn’t wanted to allow myself to hope there was even the slightest possibility of her coming back to me.
Yet here she was, telling me I could have her back. And all I had to do was tell her everything. My instincts warred with my heart, shouting at me to tell her no. For her own protection, I couldn’t give her what she wanted.
My heart though didn’t give a damn about caution. I cared about Niki far too much. Seeing the dark rings under her eyes, matching my own and telling a similar story to my own trouble sleeping, I couldn’t refuse her.
“Okay,” I agreed. There was every chance I was going to hell for being a selfish bastard, but I would go happily if it meant living every day until then with Niki by my side. “I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
The tension eased from her face. The doorbell interrupted us, signaling the arrival of our food. While we ate and drank our beers, I explained everything to her. Her surprise at my explanation of everything that happened in the case morphed into shock, fear, annoyance, confusion and back again several times before I was done.
“And that’s everything,” I told her.
Reaching for her hands, I took them in mine, my thumbs brushing across the backs of her palms. “I understand if you don’t want any part of this. Regardless of what you said earlier, if you don’t want to be with me right now while all this is happening, I won’t hold it against you.”
She frowned and let go of one of my hands. Sure she was about to get up and walk out—again—I sighed and tried to tell myself all I’d need to do was wait until this was all over. Maybe then, we could be together.
It took me a few seconds to register she was moving closer to me, rather than away from me. She cupped my cheek in her free hand, her thumb stroking gently under my eye and tracing down along my cheekbone.
Her eyes tracked the motion of her finger, a hint of tears in them. I sat completely still, feeling as if I were being weighed and measured and about to find out if I’d been found wanting. When her gaze finally snapped to mine, her eyes were bright with tears and alight with determination.
“I still want to be with you,” she said softly, but her voice was filled with conviction. “I feel safe with you, despite the situation we’re in. Plus, I can help you now that you’re on a leave of absence from the station. I’ll be useful. You’ll see.”
“You don’t have to do this.” I brought my hand up to cup hers over my cheek, making sure to keep my eyes on hers. She had to see I was serious. We could always give things another go when the investigation was over and she would be safe. “I don’t know how long it’s going to take before everything gets cleared up, but I’m not going anywhere.”
“Neither am I.” She smiled and brought her nose to mine, bumping gently. “I want to do this with you. Together.”
“Together,” I repeated. Slowly, so she had time to pull away if she changed her mind, I slid my hand to the nape of her neck and moved in to kiss her. She met me halfway, parting her lips to meet mine. The moment our lips met, a jolt of electricity hit me. She moaned and looped her arms around my neck.
Our gentle, exploratory kiss turned passionate the second our tongues tangled. Unleashing the pent-up uncertainty, hurt, and heartbreak of the time it had been since our last kiss, ours turned explosive.
She was in my lap the next second, straddling me.
We stripped our clothes off each other desperately, hungrily. With the sound of our labored breathing filling the air, Niki pressed her hot, bare skin against my chest. I could feel her everywhere. Taste her.
And all I wanted was more.
Chapter Six
Niki
“God, I missed you,” I murmured between Sonny’s kisses, my hands in his silky hair and my body on fire for him.
His revelations about what had happened with the case were mind-blowing. It was going to take me a while to wrap my head around everything that had happened, yet, none of that mattered at the moment.
I knew Sonny and I could figure things out if only we had the chance. With my body humming with need and my emotions pressing against the surface of my skin, I was dizzy with the moment. I was beyond relieved he’d finally told me everything.
He also promised not to keep me in the dark anymore. That was all I wanted, after all. To be treated like an equal partner in our relationship. We were far from having all our ducks in a row, but at least we had ducks. And I thought they were at least all in the same pond now that we’d talked.
The rest could come later.
Sonny’s lips broke away from mine to trail kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. “I missed you, so damn much.”
His words warmed me as much as his body did, heat blooming from the inside out. They were only six simple words, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever hear them. Not from him. He was the only person I wanted them from.
“I missed sleeping next to you.” He punctuated his words with kisses to my lips, my neck. “I missed making breakfast with you.”
He kept going, flicking his tongue over my hardened nipple. “I missed the way you taste.”
I moaned, arching my back to press my breasts closer to him. He licked a slow circle around my other nipple, sucking the taut bead into his mouth only to release it a second later. “I missed everything about you.”
“Me too,” I gasped, rocking my hips against him as I tried to bring my body as close to his as humanly possible. His erection was hot and hard as steel between us, sliding between my slick folds as I moved on his lap.
He growled, his hands dropping to my hips and his fingers digging into my skin. “I want you so bad, but we don’t have to—”
I cut him off by kissing him roughly and moving up along his shaft. “I know, but I want to. So unless you don’t—”
It was his turn to cut me off, jerking my hips forward so I was flush against him. His tip strained at my entrance, making me tremble with need as I stared into his darkened eyes. “Do you really have any doubts that I want to?”
I felt his cock pulse against me. We both squirmed as I lifted myself the last fraction of an inch so he was perfectly positioned to slide into me. Teeth sinking into my lower lip, I
was barely aware of the sting as I shook my head. “I don’t doubt you.”
He leaned his forehead against mine, guiding my hips down until he was buried inside of me. Both of us shuddered and gasped, a loud groan escaping at the feel of him filling and stretching me. It was heaven.
“Good,” he said, speaking between gritted teeth. Thrusting up into me, he groaned and worked with one hand to undo my braid while the other moved to my thigh. “Because I’ll always want you, Niki. You feel so damn good. I’d live here if I could.”
“That might make working difficult,” I quipped, but all conscious thought fell away after that. His hand on my thigh stroked circles higher and higher, tightening the knots of need and pleasure in my core.
Lowering my lips to his, our mouths crashed together in a frenzied kiss. I wasn’t quite sure how it happened, but the next thing I knew I was on my back on the rug in front of the couch with Sonny stroking rhythmically into me.
His muscles were tense as he held himself above me, the muscles in his back and thighs rippling under my hands as I ran them over every inch of him I could reach. Between our fervent kisses, the expression on his face was almost pained. He was getting close. The knowledge sent a fresh, almost aching need of my own spiraling through me and hurtled me into a wave of pleasure.
I rode it out, welcoming each crash of skin-tingling bliss as my orgasm built and built. With one last thrust, I went flying over the edge of euphoria, Sonny’s name a ragged chant.
He wasn’t far behind me, his strokes becoming shallower and less rhythmic. When he tensed, I felt the heat of his release deep inside me. His hips bucked into mine as his groans ran into one. “Fuck. Niki. Yes. Fuuuuck.”
Panting as he rested his forehead on mine, he pressed a soft kiss to my lips before he rolled off and lay flat on his back. His fingers slid over mine and laced them together, keeping us connected while we caught our breath.
The more modest part of my brain yelled at me to get up and get dressed, that I was lying naked in his living room. I ignored it. Despite having been apart from him for a little while, I still felt comfortable with Sonny. He never made me feel self-conscious or shy. If anything, self-consciousness dropped away when I was with him. I felt just right.
Rolling over to face him, I tucked my arm under my head, my other hand still in his. “We didn’t even make it to the bedroom.”
He chuckled without lifting his head, opening his eyes to slide them over to mine. “Give me a minute, and we can make the second round the gentle, slow one in bed.”
“Who said I wanted gentle and slow?” I teased, feeling lighter and more relaxed than I had since before I left him.
Out of nowhere, he sat up and hooked his arms around me to pull me closer to him. He had me underneath him and smirked as he dug his fingers into my tummy. “Oh yeah?”
Tickling me until I was gasping for air and laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes, he pinned me to the ground and brushed the hair off my forehead. “Was that more your speed? Cause I would’ve been happy with slow and gentle lovemaking, but if you prefer this—”
He shrugged and started tickling me again, a sly grin stretching across his face.
“Stop! I surrender,” I said.
“Excellent.” He rolled to his feet and held out his hand to help me stand.
Curling my hand into his, I got up on shaky legs. When I was standing, he swept me into his arms. Cradling me against his chest, he carried me to the bathroom. “I knew you’d come to your senses, but first, we shower.”
After a long shower and a slow, sensual dance of madness in his bed, my thoughts spun through the events in my head. My skin was damp as I curled up against his side with my head resting on his chest. His bedroom was dark, but I could tell he was still awake because his breathing hadn’t evened out yet.
I thought back to what he said in the living room, something about slow and gentle lovemaking. What we’d done had definitely been that, but it was the word he used that jumped out at me now. Lovemaking?
As in something you did with someone you loved? Does that mean he loved me?
With a silent sigh, I pushed the thought away. Sonny stirred beneath me, stroking my hair. “You okay?”
“I’m fine, just thinking.” Even if he tickled me again, there was no way I was telling him what I’d been thinking about. We’d only just gotten back together, literally hours ago. It was way too soon to ask him about what was probably nothing more than a slip of the tongue or a generic term for sex.
Don’t read into it.
“Uh oh.” He tugged lightly on my hair, so I looked up at him. I could barely make out his eyes in the moonlight filtering in through the window. It was too dark to see any emotion in them, but his tone was cautious. “Care to share with the class what you were thinking about?”
Damn. I didn’t want to lie to him, especially not after making him promise not to keep things from me anymore. But I couldn’t tell him I was over-analyzing his word choices. “I was wondering about us.”
His hand in my hair stilled before he resumed his stroking. “Yeah? What about us?”
“Are we going to be okay?” That was all I could bring myself to ask. It also happened to be the pertinent question—everything did boil down to that in its simplest form.
Pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head, he breathed in and whispered. “I would never let anything happen to you, Niki.”
Not exactly the answer I was looking for, but it was comforting anyway. “I know. I trust you.”
“If I could, I would drop this investigation.” His voice was so soft; it was almost like he was talking to himself. I knew he wasn’t though. I was meant to hear this. “I know being caught up in this isn’t easy for you. It’s hard for me too. My best friend, my brothers Zach, Jeremy, and Tyson, all think I should let it go. Evan and Beau don’t even know what I’m doing, but they would be pissed.”
I frowned, wondering where he was going with this. Planting a kiss right over his heart, I whispered. “I know. It’s not easy, but it’s necessary.”
“I have to find out what really happened with my father.” He sounded so sincere, so torn between what he felt was right and what people expected of him. “I can’t let it go without knowing, especially not now.”
Lifting my head off his chest, I propped myself up on my elbow and looked into his eyes in the smudgy darkness. “I understand, Sonny. More than understand. I support you fully.”
I didn’t have the answers he needed about his father, and I didn’t know whether the outcome of this investigation would crush him or help him, but whatever happened, I would be there for him. “We’ll find out what happened.”
Chapter Seven
Sonny
She’s really here. The slightly surprising thought brought a smile to my lips as I came awake with the feel of Niki’s warm, lush body pressed against mine. For a flash, I thought I’d dreamed everything that happened between us last night.
But it wasn’t a dream. It was real. She was here, and we were back together. Hopefully, that meant she would be back here tonight and every night if I had my way. Elation spread through every fiber of my being as I watched her sleep.
She looked so peaceful, so innocent. The need to protect her was fierce. I would do anything to keep her safe. Except try to hold her back again. That was what had gotten between us, and I had to remember that.
Holding her back only led to her walking away. Yet, if she gave me any indication whatsoever she didn’t want to be part of this, I’d let her go. I had to. There was too much at stake, most importantly her safety.
Last night, she didn’t hesitate. She told me more than once that she was here, wanted to be with me no matter what happened. More importantly, she supported me.
Her words spun through me, lifting me up and giving me strength. She believes in me.
I tightened my arm around her and smiled into her hair. I was so fucking happy to have her back. Niki was simply in a league of her own in ever
y way. If I had any doubts about how I felt about her, they were erased now. What I felt for her was real, and powerful. Nothing would ever change that.
The alarm on her phone blared, an annoying pop tune that would arouse anyone from even the deepest slumber if only to make it stop as quickly as possible. It did its job well.
I tried to reach for it before Niki woke up, but barely two bars into the song, her blue eyes blinked open. They were soft, lazy as they focused on mine. A sleepy smile spread on her beautiful lips. “Good morning.”
“It was until that started playing.”
She giggled, rolling over and reaching out with one hand to shut the alarm off before facing me again. “I’ve been having some trouble falling asleep and then waking up once I did. The internet said that song was scientifically proven to be one of the best to get you up and going in the morning.”
“Look at you being so factual so early in the morning.” The sun was starting to rise in the sky outside, an orange glow still hovering over the horizon. “Want some breakfast?”
Niki wrinkled her nose. “Don’t you want to sleep in some more? It’s not like you have to get to work.”
“Not officially, no,” I told her. Remembering my promise to be honest with her, I added, “I’m going to check on that lead Darren gave me. Besides, I might not need to be up, but you do. No way am I missing our first morning back in the kitchen.”
“So you can backseat egg flip?” A soft laugh fell from her lips at the memory. One morning a couple of weeks ago, she kept scowling at the pan. When I asked her what was wrong, she said my spatula didn’t allow her to flip eggs cleanly over.
“I was merely offering my advice,” I reiterated the same words I’d used that morning.
Niki sat up in bed, smiling as she shook her head. “You keep saying that, but I don’t know. Maybe you should make the eggs this morning so we can see if your advice holds up.”
She was teasing, but I nodded anyway. “Deal. You’ll see, I’ll use the same spatula, and no egg will be broken or folded. You get ready for work. I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”