by Jordan Ervin
“Where are you going?” Eric asked.
“My Featherweight is having a hard time syncing for some reason. It’s been acting up since Montgomery, but it usually works after a few minutes of me tweaking the system. It’s been an hour since I could get a link and I’m starting to wonder if something might be damaged. I think if I can climb that maintenance tower on the dam a mile back I might be able to link up and get a better idea of what’s going on outside of our camp.”
“I don’t think that’s a wise thing to do,” Eric said.
“Oh, come on,” Trey protested. “We’ve seen nothing but a few other refugees that are just as tired and scared shitless as us since we left Tupelo.”
“Mr. Webster,” Sarah began with both kindness and a no-nonsense tone, “I’d greatly appreciate it if you watched your mouth around my kids. They’ve seen and heard enough foulness over the past few months without your help.”
“My apologies,” Trey replied with a slight bow and hint of sarcasm. “As I was saying, it’s already taken us an ungodly amount of time to get this far and I’d like to figure out what’s going on in Memphis so we can get going as soon as possible.”
“We’ll find out what’s going on in Memphis when I can survey it with my own eyes in a few days,” Eric replied.
“I don’t want anyone wandering off by themselves and I’m not leaving the girls. We can all go in the morning if it means that much to you.”
“What are you afraid of?” Trey asked.
“Only that which I can’t see.”
“There’s nothing out here,” Trey argued. “I didn’t see anything on my Featherweight when we were—”
“You mean that piece of broken tech you were just telling me about?”
“It’s fine,” Judah said, cutting in as Trey was readying himself to shout. “I’ll go with him.”
“Excuse me?” Sarah said, sitting up with a hint of anger masking her face. “You’re staying right here.”
“I can handle myself, Mom,” Judah argued. “Besides, Trey is right. It’s just us out here and we all know it. We haven’t seen anyone since we left the other refugees.”
“Just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there,” Sarah replied.
“That sounds like Christian theology and not factual logic if you ask me,” Trey replied.
“And if you ask me, Mr. Webster,” Elizabeth began, a warm smile on her face and daggers in her eyes, “I pity the man who looks out at the world and thinks it’s all a figment of his imagination because he can’t feel past his own nose.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Trey asked.
“It means a battle between good and evil is clearly being waged in this world right now and you might as well be a blind, blubbering fool if you can’t grasp that.”
“Well, I’m pragmatic,” Trey replied with an irritating grin. “Show me an authentic miracle that can’t be explained without your God and I’ll show you a convert. For now, I’ll rely on my eyes and my tech to see what’s going on.”
“And I’m going to help him.” Judah’s eyes flickering over to Alexandra. She stared back at him blankly, her eyes narrowing as though she were studying him. He firmed his jaw and looked away as he stood up, holding his gun. “We passed the tower coming in and it can’t be much more than a mile back along the dam. We’ll be back in less than forty-five minutes.”
Sarah glanced over at Eric, searching for a rebuttal. Instead, he lowered his head and nodded. Sarah sighed and shook her head. “Judah, I don’t want—”
“Let them go,” Eric said. “Judah’s right and he needs to learn to take care of himself.”
“But he’s just a teenager,” Sarah countered. “Give me a good reason why my son needs to prove anything to anyone in a time like this?”
“Not ours to reason why, but to do and die,” Eric replied, looking up at Judah with respect and sadness in his eyes. “It’s a new world and we all need to learn how to live in it. Besides, they’ll be fine.” Eric walked over to Judah, handing him his advanced self-targeting rifle in exchange for Judah’s weapon.
“You’re giving me your gun?” Judah asked.
“Loaning,” Eric replied with a smile. “Don’t think I won’t be asking for it when you get back. Fire three shots in the air if you need help. Even at a mile I can be there fast. You see anyone and you come right back here, got it? No hero bullshit.”
“Got it,” Judah said, glancing over at Alexandra with an uncertain smile. “We’ll be back.”
Ten minutes later, Judah walked backwards as he watched the twinkling of the campfire finally vanish behind the trees. Judah and Trey were less than half of a mile away from the tower now, having walked the distance without a word. Judah glanced over at the side of the road and paused, smiling as he took three steps and knelt down in the grass. He reached down to his belt and drew the knife his father had given him—reading the inscription on the blade underneath the dim moonlight as he thought back to his father’s words.
“Keep this with you always and remember that I love you, Judah. You are truly your own man now.”
Judah smiled as he thought about his father. Despite the lack of emotion over his father’s death, he caught himself thinking often about his dad ever since his grandfather had died. Though he wouldn’t yet allow himself to display any pain at the loss of his dad, the long hours on the endless road had been full of Judah trying to recall every vague memory he had of the man who had raised him.
Judah reached down with the knife and severed the stem of a brilliant Iris flower. He raised it up with a smile, thinking of Alexandra and how nice it would look in her dark hair, wishing his dad was there to tell him how to talk to a girl. As he turned it over, Judah glanced over at Trey who stopped and now smiled back as he shook his head.
“You’re like a nervous kid looking to roll his house.”
“Roll a house?” Judah asked, tucking the flower in his vest pocket and his knife in its sheath.
“Yeah,” Trey replied. “You know, tee-pee, forking, pouring flour on someone’s yard the night before it rains. My favorite was always the air horn. We’d take two feet of duct tape and press one end against the side of the can. We’d then drive up to someone’s house, pull the rest of tape tight over the button on the top to make it start howling, and throw the can onto the roof. That sucker wakes everyone up within a mile and who the heck is getting on their roof in the middle of the night to get it down?”
Judah frowned and shrugged as he continued forward toward the tower, shifting his weapon strap back onto his shoulder.
“You mean to tell me you’ve never rolled a house?” Trey asked disbelievingly as he resumed his walk as well.
Judah shook his head.
“Your mom must have had her apron strings tied nice and tight around your…well, I’d hate to say something that might corrupt her child and redden your innocent ears.” Trey smiled, shaking his head as he chuckled.
“I was the son of a congressman and the nephew of a senator,” Judah replied. “My mom tried to keep me out of trouble for their sake.”
“And what about your dad? He never taught you to—”
“My father is dead,” Judah said quickly, reforming his thick emotionless wall of apathy. “Or have you forgotten? He died fighting for this country while men like you played video games, rolled houses, and hacked celebrity accounts to distribute photos you don’t have a right to in the first place. I wonder if all this crap would have still happened to America had everyone as bright as you taken life a bit more seriously.”
“First of all, there isn’t anyone else as bright as me,” Trey replied angrily as he rounded on Judah. “And secondly, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I was fighting for this country well before your father knew there was a war coming.” Trey paused, looking Judah up and down before shaking his head. “Hell, I was fighting for the Reinhart family long before you knew there was a fight coming.”
T
rey shoved Judah and shook his head as he turned back toward the road and continued forward.
“What do you mean you’ve been fighting for my family?” Judah asked after a pause.
“Forget about it,” Trey said without looking back. “I’ll tell you one day and we’ll have a good laugh over fate’s ironic sense of humor. For now, I’m more interested in hearing how you’re going to do it?”
“Do what?” Judah asked.
“Convince that bombshell sitting back there at the campfire that you’re the man of her dreams.”
“What are—”
“Don’t play dumb,” Trey cut in as he looked back. “You’re only making yourself look like an idiot. We can all see it. Hell, even she can see it every time your eyes linger on her. I must say, I find my own eyes shifting her direction and looking her up and down every now and then.” Trey breathed in heavily before exhaling slowly. “What I’d give to have met her when I was fifteen years younger. Oh the things I would have—”
Judah shoved Trey hard in the back, causing him to trip and stumble forward.
“You shut your damn mouth!” Judah growled. “Don’t you say another word about her!”
Trey looked back, his eyes narrowing as he stared at Judah, before letting a smile slowly split his face. He nodded his head and rose, brushing the dirt off his pants.
“So it’s love then, huh?” Trey held up his hands in protest. “A classic knight fighting for the damsel in distress. Just like that skit your sisters were putting on back there. Well, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but it never turns out like the fairy tales. Those are stories and this…this is real life, my friend.”
“You don’t know a thing about her,” Judah said.
“Hey, I’m not here to try and come between you two love birds. It’s okay; she’s all yours, big guy. That is, if she even wants you. But I didn’t mean to offend. Sometimes my mouth and tongue get moving before my mind knows what’s up. I mean, at least I don’t shove a friend in the back when he’s joking around. That would be really harsh.”
“You and I,” Judah began, “we’re not friends. We might be one day, after you give me a real apology and tell me the truth about what you meant about fighting for my family before we met you. Right now, you’re just a prick who’s been around us long enough to think he’s one of the crew.”
“Then why’d you come?” Trey asked. “Why tag along with a prick, as you say?”
Judah paused, glancing back toward the camp and thinking of Alexandra and the flower in his pocket.
“Maybe it’s easier to follow a jerk like you than it is to sit quietly as I try and fail to figure out just what in the world I’m going to say to a girl like Alexandra.”
Trey smiled and shook his head again before turning back to the road as they neared the tower. “Judah Reinhart,” Trey began, “welcome to the lovely and maddening world of women.”
Alexandra smiled as Sarah sang the sad and final ballad to the night’s performance, swaying like a reed in the wind with the melody in the air. She passed her gaze over the three adults and two children that surrounded the dim fire. They had welcomed her into their company when she had no one and for that, Alexandra was grateful.
She glanced back in the direction that Judah had walked, her face expressionless as she thought about the boy that filled her thoughts more often than not. She thought about how he wasn’t much of a boy anymore. After all, he was only a few months older than her and with everything she had gone through, she had a hard time considering herself a girl. They were tried and tested young adults, living in the bodies of teenagers.
The log shifted underneath her as though someone had sat down on it, and she quickly tore her eyes away from the path behind them. She glanced over to see Sarah lowering herself with a smile. Sarah smiled before shifting uncomfortably. She unbuckled the gun belt Eric had given her and set it beside the log, glancing back at Alexandra with a probing stare. Alexandra’s face turned red and she was thankful for the night to conceal the cheeks that gave her away. After a pause, Sarah looked back at the path.
“I can’t help but worry about him either,” Sarah said.
“I never said I—”
“Oh yes, you did,” Sarah replied as she looked back over at Alexandra. “Maybe not verbally, but I seem to remember hearing once that actions speak louder than words.”
Alexandra paused before letting the tiniest of grins find its way to her face. That grin grew into a light chuckle.
“A couple of months on the road together and already you’re reading me better than my own mother ever could.”
“Well, you don’t need to be my daughter for me to recognize the signs that you might be fond of my boy,” Sarah said.
“And you don’t need to be my mother for me to see that you’re not the greatest at hiding your feelings either,” Alexandra replied, glancing over at Eric across the clearing.
Sarah smiled big before looking over at Eric. He was whistling quietly as he walked back to the fire with an arm full of twigs he had scavenged for. He set the twigs down and began to lower himself as he glanced over at them. He paused, half lowered to the log as a look of curiosity and confusion filled his eyes. After a moment, he nodded his head and smiled before lowering himself the rest of the way. Alexandra and Sarah both grinned as they nodded back. Sarah finally looked back at Alexandra, moving in close to whisper in her ear.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Sarah said. “Your secret is safe with me so long as mine is safe with you.”
Alexandra grinned as she nodded her head in approval. She looked back over at Eric as he positioned the branches in the fire. He risked the occasional glance up at them, finally shaking his head and smiling as they watched him. Alexandra smiled and leaned in close to Sarah.
“I will say, he is rather cute.”
Sarah smiled back, though her eyes failed to smile with her before she glanced down at her hands in her lap. Alexandra followed Sarah’s eyes and watched as she turned a golden wedding band on her finger. Alexandra’s smile disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” Alexandra whispered.
“It’s okay,” Sarah said, looking her way. “Adam was a good man and I’ll never stop loving him. But he’s gone now and we’re still here. My life can’t stop just because death succeeded on some level. And as far as Eric…well, my husband would have approved of a man like him.” Sarah paused, smiling as she watched him for a moment. She then looked over at Alexandra and smiled, leaning in close. “You are right. He is quite dashing.”
Alexandra chuckled with Sarah, glancing over at Eric. He shook his head and stood up, brushing his hands off on his cargo pants. She leaned in close to Sarah and spoke.
“What did he mean when he said it’s not ours to reason why, but to do and die?”
“It’s a soldier’s most basic creed,” Eric said, glancing up from across the fire.
“You can hear us?” Sarah asked.
“I might have had my fair share of gunfire and explosions go off too close for comfort,” he began, “but I consider myself one of the fortunate ones who’s managed to retain a heightened sense of hearing.”
Alexandra glanced over at Sarah who now blushed a fiery red that was visible even in the dim light.
“The quote was originally from a poem,” Eric said. “It means a soldier isn’t supposed to question his orders or the reason things are the way they are. He’s supposed to simply be a soldier and charge forward no matter how unreasonable reality becomes.”
“And you think that’s fine?” Sarah asked. “You think we should just obey orders without questioning them?”
“For starters, I don’t think the saying only applies to soldiers,” Eric replied. “I think events sometime occur that are simply beyond our control. When they do, we can attempt to change the unchangeable and rationalize the irrational all we want. In my opinion, all we can do in times like that is charge forward into the chaotic confusion without trying to reason out the madness.”
Alexandra stared back at Eric blankly before shifting her gaze, glancing over at Sarah who revealed as little emotion as she could. Alexandra held tightly to his words, realizing that her family’s death had been out of her control. She knew she could dwell on it or she could accept it and move on with what really mattered to her now.
She never thought these strangers who had become like kin would have ever tried so hard to take her to the last remaining family member that might be alive. Alexandra doubted that Naomi was still alive and living at Harding University; that was a miracle she was afraid to even pray for. Still, she couldn’t help but now wonder how strange the change inside of her had been. At first, she wanted nothing more than to find her sister and cry over the father and brother she had lost.
Now, Alexandra almost hoped they wouldn’t find Naomi at all.
Alexandra knew she had put up a front—trying and likely succeeding in convincing Judah she wanted little to do with him. The ironic reality was that she had become much better than him at stealing glances. Where he would let his eyes linger until he was caught, she would snap quick mental photos when she looked back at him, focusing on those images as she thought about the young man that had seized her attention. Judah was very handsome and courageous, though he continued to try to prove his brevity to her by becoming increasingly reckless. She just hoped he wouldn’t do something stupid to get himself hurt before she worked up enough courage to tell him that maybe she wouldn’t mind sticking around for a while, even if they did find her sister.
“Alright then,” Eric said, looking off to his left, “I’m going to—”
Eric grunted and his eyes closed tightly as two distinct clicks filled the clearing from behind him. He fell forward into the small fire, striking his head on a log as a cloud of sparks rose up around him like a horde of dancing fireflies.