by Unknown
He hadn't responded to any of my attempts at conversation and when Naye offered to take me on a picnic later, Toby hadn't protested at all. I refused the picnic invitation and left the table in a huff, completely frustrated.
I'd never had to pursue a man before and although this body was bold and full of confidence, I lacked the knowledge needed to utilize it. I tried to get her to reveal to me her secrets on how she seduced so many men but she went quiet every time. I don't think she wanted me to seduce Toby, even though she had an affection for him. Such a strange woman.
I did glean one small bit of information from her though, just a trace of conversation really, where she recalled how Toby had mentioned that he read a lot. It seemed as good a place to start as any. Maybe I could find a clue on how to reach Toby by looking through his books. I went into the living room, where I'd seen a full bookshelf, and went up to peruse the titles.
I'd never read much before but when I had, they were books written by gods not humans. Toby and Naye's books were almost totally written by human authors so I didn't recognize any of them. I truly didn't understand the appeal. What could a human possibly write that would entertain a god? The only thing we needed to know about them were their myths and back when I'd been alive, those myths were handed down orally.
Still, this was the only idea I had to win over Toby. I had to try. I pulled out a book and flipped through the pages, skimming over the content. Boring. I put it back and took another. Confusing. I put that one back too. I picked up a really thick book and flipped it open. It seemed to be a collection of several stories meant to be performed on a stage. I started to read and found the words to be strange, an unusual dialect of English, but the stories were amusing.
I took the book over to the couch and sat down to read it. Hours later, I'd finished a few stories and had gone back to the shelf to find other books to read as well. I didn't want to focus on just one author, there could be helpful knowledge in any of those books. So I ended up sitting in the middle of a pile of them, my feet pulled up onto the couch so I could use my knees to prop the books on.
That was how Naye found me.
“What are you doing?” He sounded horrified.
“Reading,” I frowned at him. Wasn't it obvious?
“Why?”
“Don't you read?” I waved a hand at the bookshelf.
“Those are Toby's,” Naye grimaced. “What do I want with the words of humans?”
“That's precisely what I thought,” I laughed, “but then I started reading these stories. They're imaginative and some are very funny.”
“This is a waste of your time, Ata,” Naye sighed. “Why don't you come have lunch with me out on the ledge? We can watch the sunset.”
“No, thank you,” I went back to reading.
“Ata,” Naye growled.
“Go away,” I waved at him. “Hamlet is about to expose his father's killer.”
“What?” Naye gaped at me while Toby came up behind him.
“The play is the thing,” I pointed at Naye imperiously.
“In which to catch the conscious of a king,” Toby finished with an fascinated expression.
“Yes!” I grinned.
“Ridiculous,” Naye snarled and left.
“You're reading Shakespeare?” Toby wandered in and my heart began to pound in excitement.
“Yes, he's a very persuasive writer,” I nodded. “Though this story about the lovers killing themselves is rather stupid.”
“You think Romeo and Juliet is stupid?” He chuckled as he moved some of the books off the couch so he could sit down.
“Well that boy was so fickle,” I shook my head. “First he loves Rosaline and then suddenly he loves Juliet. That can't possibly be love.”
“Why not?” Toby cocked his head at me. “He kills himself for Juliet.”
“Which makes him an even greater fool,” I huffed. “Love does not flit from one to another so easily.”
“It doesn't?” His voice had gone soft and I felt my cheeks heat.
“Not with just a look,” I stared back at him as I realized the secrets of seduction were indeed hidden within the writings of humans. Seduction, power, fear. Every human experience that could be had were recorded in those stories and reading about them, had helped me to understand them better.
“You don't believe in love at first sight then?” Toby's eyes twinkled.
“No,” I grimaced. “Lust maybe but not love. True love is more than flesh, at least, that's what I think,” I looked down, suddenly shy. I wasn't exactly an expert on love.
“I agree,” his voice pulled my head back up. “And I've always thought Romeo and Juliet was more about the insanity of youth than love.”
“Exactly,” I agreed. “Though maybe I'm a little bitter about that whole line about the sun killing the envious moon.”
Toby laughed and the breath caught in my throat. Had I done that? Had I drawn happiness from him? I don't think I'd ever made someone laugh before. It was an amazing feeling, a lightness in my chest that made me want to laugh too. I couldn't though, I was too in awe of him in that moment.
“You surprise me, Ata,” he finally said.
“That's good, I hope.”
“Yes,” he smile went serious. “I hope so too.”
“I like this one as well,” I held up a book, hoping to dispel his sobriety and regain our previous lighthearted mood.
“What's this?” He did smile a little as he looked at the page I indicated. “Emily Dickinson, There is Another Sky. So you like poetry too?”
“This one makes me a little sad but in a good way,” I looked at the page.
“Sad? Why?” He looked over at me in surprise.
“Well isn't it about death?”
“Death?” He gaped. “No, not at all. I mean, no one knows for sure but she was writing this to her brother, Austin, and I don't think she was telling him to join her in death.”
“Oh,” I frowned. “I thought I knew the garden she spoke of and this other sky. Where else could they be except for Heaven?”
“Here,” he whispered and tapped his finger to my chest. “She's talking about finding beauty within yourself, not just out in the world.”
The breath caught in my throat as I stared at him. His eyes seemed so close and his hand was laid right beside mine on the book. Was I bold enough to cross that small distance? To reach for him and possibly be rebuked? Oh these emotions, they were so wonderful but so frightening all at the same time.
“At the moment, I'd rather look out than in,” I whispered and his eyes widened.
“I think you may have a poet's soul, Ata,” he whispered back and slid his hand over mine.
He began to lean forward and I thought he might kiss me then but at the last second, he lifted my hand and laid his lips to my palm. Then he stood up and fled the room.
Chapter Thirty-Five
I was dreaming of a man with black wings and eyes of misty blue. He spoke to me about another me, a me that was missed by many, and he urged me to tell him where I was. I had just uttered Nayenezgani's name when I was pulled from sleep by the man himself.
“Atahensic,” he whispered as he lifted me into his arms. “It's time for us to become one.”
“What?” I blinked away sleep. “Where are you taking me?”
“To the ritual room,” he said decisively. “We're going to join our magics and ourselves.”
“Put me down, Naye,” I said firmly.
“No. I'm sorry, Ata,” he sighed. “Once we're truly reunited, you'll remember how much you love me. You'll see.”
“Put me down!”
“No,” his hold only tightened.
“Toby!” I started to shriek and struggle.
“Stop it,” Naye growled and hurried forward.
“Tobadzistsini!” I cried again and again, my voice echoing off the stone. I was beginning to lose my cool, something which made me panic even more. My magic rose inside me and my skin started to glow but
Naye didn't seem to notice.
He took me through the room which had held my old body but was now alarmingly empty, and out into a smaller room. This room had a window cut into the stone wall and through it I could see the moon. Its light fell directly onto a pallet in the room's center. Around the mattress, a series of symbols had been drawn in sand and there was a large shell with a burning bundle of sage in it. The smell and the moonlight comforted me a little but the panic returned when Naye carefully stepped over the sand and laid me down on the pallet.
“Naye, don't do this,” I tried to reason with him. “I'll never forgive you.”
“You will,” he smiled at me as he undid his pants. “As soon as we're one, you'll have to. It will be like forgiving yourself.”
I fought again but found myself pinned beneath him. His yellow eyes burned down on me with desire and zeal. I thrashed and screamed as he shifted his hips between my legs and tore my underwear away.
“Nayenezgani!” Toby stood in the doorway. “Free her at once!”
“I'm going to complete the ritual, Brother,” Naye nestled in against me and I struggled harder. “It will be better as soon as we've joined.”
“I don't think you heard me,” Toby's face had gone still. “Remove yourself from her now.”
“This is what we've been working towards,” Naye frowned at his brother. “You should be helping me not hindering.”
“We're not rapists,” Toby strode forward, right through the intricate symbols, and scattered the sand carelessly. “This is not what we've been working toward.”
“It isn't rape,” Naye scoffed. “She's my wife.”
“No she isn't!” Toby shouted and shocked us all. The echo of his voice trailed away into silence and Naye just stared up at him in disbelief. “And even if she was, that doesn't make it alright to force her.”
“She is my wife,” Naye finally whispered.
“No, Brother,” Toby said more gently. “She holds your wife's memories but she is not Ata. Her very reluctance should tell you that. Be satisfied that we have her magic back with us. We can still win this battle with the power of the moon beside us. She doesn't have to join with you for us to succeed.”
“Yes, she does,” Naye growled and shoved my hands back against the floor. He shifted his hips forward just as Toby grabbed him around the waist and lifted him from me.
“I can't allow you to do this,” Toby threw Naye into the wall.
Naye growled as he pushed himself back into his jeans. Then he barreled into his brother. The room was suddenly lit as if the sun itself had risen within it but then the sound of rushing water filled my ears and I saw a whirlpool surround the men. Naye was lifted within it and carried from the room, washed away like filth.
Toby ran over to me and helped me up. I launched myself at him and he caught me with steady arms. His heart was beating fast within his chest and his skin was damp. He took several deep breaths and his skin dried.
“Are you alright?” He finally whispered.
“Yes,” I looked up at him. “He'll be back.”
“I know,” he brushed the hair back from my face. “Let's take you somewhere safe until he calms down.”
He lifted me up into his arms and ran with me back through the other room and into the hallway. He turned down a side corridor and took us straight to the tracing room. Then he clutched me tighter to his chest and I felt my body disintegrate, transform into pure thought as we entered the Aether. We reformed on the shores of a wide pool. Far above it a waterfall poured over the side of a cliff. The thick forest at our back was a wall of shadows but the pool was bright with moonlight. Toby took my hand and led me into the water.
“Don't be afraid,” he said softly.
“This body doesn't like water much,” I cringed as the water crept up my thighs. A shivering dread ran through my veins, though I had no idea why.
“I have a private place that can only be reached through this pool,” he explained. “Naye won't be able to find you there. It'll only be a moment underwater.”
“Okay,” I sighed in resignation.
“Trust me,” he whispered and pulled me against his chest once more.
He kicked us back into the center of the pool and I tensed. We floated there for a moment, weightless in the water, until we sank suddenly. We went straight down and when we came to the pool's floor, we kept going right through it. Then we emerged in a dank cave, the sound of dripping water echoing around us. Little puddles spotted the floor, moss growing at the edges.
He waved his hands downward through the air, outlining my body, and the water in my clothing was sucked away with the movement. He did the same for himself, so we were both nice and dry once more.
“See?” He smiled. “Not so bad.”
“No, I guess not,” I looked around me. “Where are we?”
“Beneath the waterfall,” he took my hand and led me down a tunnel. “It gets better, I promise. This is just the entrance.”
The tunnel dried up as we walked and then it brightened. Magical god-light illuminated an impossible underground garden as if it were mid-day. I followed Toby out into the open space, inhaling the scent of a multitude of flowers and ripe fruit. There were bees and butterflies doing their jobs while little animals scurried through the roots of the trees, scavenging for fallen fruit. In the center of it all was a small pool of clear water.
A memory of a similar pool flashed through my mind. It too was within the bones of a mountain. There was a white tepee and chanting along with drumming. I frowned and went forward to the pool. When I reached the edge, I saw that it was filled with little fish, bright colors flashing off their scales. I turned my head up, expecting to see the sky through a vast opening, but there was no opening. That was a different place altogether.
When I looked back at the water's surface, my face shifted and I saw it painted for war, a ferocious snarl twisting my mouth. I gasped and lurched back.
“What is it?” Toby's hand was on my arm.
“I don't know,” I shivered. “It seems like I'm eternally confusing or scaring myself.
“Ata,” he whispered. “I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. If I free you, your magic will be lost to us and our people may die. If I don't, I condemn the woman I've come to admire to a half-life and you to the confusion of it.”
“I don't know how to counsel you,” I swallowed hard and for the first time I spoke without an ulterior motive in mind. It was simple truth that poured from my lips “I don't want to lose myself but if this isn't really me, then I'm already lost. I just want this struggle to end.”
“Let's just relax here awhile and not think on these things,” he led me to a soft bit of grass near the water's edge.
He sat and helped me down next to him. His hand went to my shoulder and then I was leaning into him, wedging myself between his thighs, my hands on the worn denim of his jeans. The knowledge of this new time was coming to me easier now. I didn't even have to focus anymore or ask this other me, the names of things would just come unbidden. Like those odd trousers Toby wore and the power that had lit those tubes in the Human Realm. Electricity. Light bulbs not tubes. The words were seeping into me as if they'd been there all along. Maybe I was already lost. These memories I had were just a faded copy. An echo of who I used to be.
Toby's fingers started shifting through the length of my hair, separating the strands and easing out the tangles. It was soothing and I found myself closing my eyes, letting go of my concerns. His hands shifted to my shoulders and I sighed, leaning back into his chest. I put my hand over one of his, interlacing our fingers and pulling his hand down into my lap.
His skin was so much darker than mine, even with my odd tan. Who was this woman I inhabited? She obviously wasn't an Iroquois but she did seem to have some type of Indian blood. Not completely of the tribes though, she had strange angles to her face. I wasn't sure what race she was at all. Who were her people? What motivated her? What kind of life did Toby and Naye take her from?
That I even deigned to wonder about her gave me pause. The more important question might be; who was I becoming? I didn't feel like myself anymore.
Then Toby's free hand slid around my waist and it didn't matter. I knew he cared for her, that it was she, he was thinking of when he lowered his lips to my neck. She who filled his heart while his breath heated my skin. But I didn't care. I'd take this happiness and add it to my interloping memories, hold it in this possessed heart, and make it mine. This, here and now, would be all mine. I turned my head and lifted my lips to his.
Moonlight on water. A soft shimmer in the dark. A glinting happiness. That was what we were together. After all, doesn't the moon hold sway over the water? Doesn't it pull the waves to the shore, make the tides rise and fall? I could feel him rising for me, the water within him responding to my call. Then I gasped as the full magnitude of his magic hit me. He wasn't just a god of water but of darkness as well. I'd somehow forgotten that or rather, never realized what it could mean to me. Or for us.
Tobadzistsini. Child of the Water. Lord of the Darkness. My light could not exist without his dark and his night would not be complete without my moon. We were better suited than I could have ever imagined. Two parts of a whole. The sun could love the moon but he could never hold her. They were eternally separated by the sky. Toby was my dark sky and there was no separation between us. It simply wasn't possible.
He pulled back from me and looked down into my eyes, searching for her, I think. What he saw there must have satisfied him because he smiled softly and began to kiss my temples, my cheeks, my chin. He covered my face with kisses while he lifted my clothing away.
The bright sunlight softened to moonlight. It bathed us in silver and Toby smiled brighter. His eyes went liquid and as he laid me back, a tear overflowed and fell onto my chest. I felt the tingle of magic as it sank into me. Into my heart.