by Unknown
“Arach, it's a moot point,” I rubbed a hand over my face. “Toby isn't going to be my lover, okay? Whoever this unknown Aether man is, he convinced Toby to leave me.”
“I will concede this for now,” Arach took a deep breath before continuing, “but we will be speaking on it again.”
“Fine,” I nodded. “Now can we get back to the guy who told Toby he was never meant to be with me?”
Implying that this man has plans for you, Faerie mused. So there is another entity interested in you, Vervain. I guess I'm not the only one who sensed your potential.
“Potential for what?” I huffed. “Screwing things up royally? It seems like whatever I do, I bring pain to someone.”
“That's your frustration talking,” Arach took another deep breath, sat back against the luxurious black velvet cushion, and contemplated me. “Remember what I said about owning your decisions?”
“Yeah, I'm responsible, I got it,” I growled. “I wasn't arguing that, I was just saying that I'm responsible for making bad choices.”
“No, they're not bad,” Arach cocked his head in a manner that was completely fey. “You do the best you can and you've always tried to do what you believe is right. That's the most you should expect from yourself.”
“Thank you,” I heaved a breath. I hadn't expected him to be so supportive after nearly getting into a fight with me over one of those recent choices. It was generous of him and I softened my tone to let him know I appreciated it. “You're right, I'm just sad and frustrated.”
“How has this entity gone undetected for so long,” Arach mused.
I could have remained unknown forever, had I wished it, Faerie offered. That's not the question we should be asking.
“Then what?” I asked her.
What does he want?
“Yep,” I nodded, “good question.”
He can't reside in the Aether. The Aether is fey-made and he is not Fey. If nothing else, we know that for certain.
“Can you go into the Aether?” I had a thought condensing in my head.
Yes, of course, she was using my patented duh tone. Weren't you listening? It's fey-made. I'm about as fey as you can get.
“And could you appear in human form there?” I continued.
Yes, her tone changed from condescending to considering.
“So this being really could be like you?” I pressed.
“The consciousness of a realm?” Arach scoffed.
“Why is that so hard to believe?” I asked him. “We are currently speaking to the consciousness of a realm.”
“One that has been evident throughout our entire history,” Arach pointed out.
“But who has just admitted that she didn't have to be,” I countered.
“And what realm would it be the consciousness of?” Arach lifted a brow. “The Human Realm, which we were once connected to? Or the God Realm, which we helped to create?”
“What does your connection or help in creation have to do with anything?”
I believe your husband is implying that I would have sensed this being when I was connected to the Human Realm, Faerie sounded so serious. And that as a fey creation, the God Realm would not create a separate consciousness.
“But it isn't a fey creation,” I thought about it. “The fey showed gods how to build the realm but they didn't actually build it for them. And as far as you sensing anything, you said you could have hidden yourself from the fey. Could you not have hidden yourself from another consciousness?”
Perhaps. If I'd known to hide.
“This is unsettling,” Arach stared out the carriage window, his red brows, like slashes of blood across his forehead, lowered.
You're telling me.
“Oh thank goodness,” I sighed. “I thought you were becoming your old self again for a moment there. All stuffy and prim.”
There is no old or new. I am eternal.
Oh sheesh, there you go again,” I rolled my eyes.
But you're right about one thing, she admitted. There could be a consciousness of the other realms. Possibly of both realms combined. It's also possible that it's stronger than I.
That shut us up.
I will enter the Aether and attempt to locate this being.
“Is that safe?” I was suddenly worried about her. What if this being's whole goal had been to draw Faerie into the Aether?
I am eternal, she said again but this time she sounded less certain.
“At least be careful,” I said.
I will, she vowed, and perhaps it would be best for you to remain here until we find out who this being is.
“That depends on how long this all takes,” I smirked but as usual, Faerie had departed without allowing me the last word.
Chapter Fifty-Four
“Anna!” Roarke's voice shot out of the entrance to Castle Aithinne. “Come back here.”
Then Anna appeared, storming across the drawbridge with her fiery eyes even more fiery than usual. The red stripe in her long, white hair, flapped in the air behind her like a banner of war. I shared an amused glance with Arach as he helped me out of the carriage. Then Roarke came running out of the castle, chasing after Anna.
“You can't expect me to be celibate!” Roarke shouted, his fire eyes completely aflame. “I'm a cat-sidhe!”
“Well if you want this pussy, you'd best neuter yourself as far as other pussies are concerned,” she turned to yell at him.
“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” I cried and held a hand out to Arach to steady myself. “There are so many jokes in that one sentence.”
He laughed and slid an arm around my waist. We stood there casually, watching it all play out. This was the second time within two visits that I'd returned to Castle Aithinne in the midst of fey drama. If this kept up, we could have our own reality show.
“I'm not waiting around pining after you while you make up your mind on whether you want me or not!” Roarke yelled and he actually looked rather handsome when he was angry. It gave him a maturity he lacked when he was his normal carefree self. His black hair looked more striking, framing a face more rugged with the harsh lines of anger added to it. He took a wide stance, setting his hands on his hips, which made his chest look broader, as he continued to yell at her, “I'm King of the Fire Cats, not your whipping boy, and I've had enough of this chase. Either be mine or piss off. Make your choice, Anna, and make it now because I've given you more than enough time.”
Anna launched herself at Roarke. Surprisingly, she wasn't attacking him but kissing him. I think Roarke was just as shocked as I was. He just stood there with his hands on his hips and blinked a few seconds before he wrapped his arms around her and started kissing her back.
“Well, this has just become awkward,” I observed and headed for the castle, giving the lovers a wide berth.
“It's about time he made her choose,” Arach huffed and followed me in. “She's been leading him on a merry chase for awhile now.”
“She had to make him chase her,” I smiled at my husband. “Like he said, he's a cat. If he didn't get to chase her, he wouldn't have been satisfied with having her.”
“That's a rather good point,” Arach's eyes went wide, “and an insightful one. You've begun to truly understand our people.”
“Better than you even,” I winked at him.
“Only as far as the new fire cat-sidhe are concerned,” Arach huffed a laugh.
“Yeah, alright,” I stopped walking to stare at Nora as she trudged by us.
At least, I think it was Nora. It was a little hard to tell, what with her hair all messy and hiding her face. Her head was down and her shoulders hunched. She didn't even notice us as she slumped by and Arach made no attempt to reproach her for what was, in a way, a show of disrespect. I turned wide eyes on Arach.
“She's pining for King Guirmean,” Arach said quietly as he followed her progress down the hall with sympathetic eyes. “I remember that feeling so well.”
“You pined for King Guirmean too? I had no i
dea you swung that way,” I teased, trying to ease the seriousness from his face.
“No, for an obstinate, sarcastic woman with bad comedic timing and way too many lovers,” he grimaced.
“Yeah, yeah, watch who you're calling obstinate, dragon,” I took his hand and we started walking again. “You're about as obstinate as they come.”
“So it appears that we'll have a new Queen of Fire Cats,” Arach changed the subject deftly as we headed up to our bedroom.
“Looks that way.”
“Now the fighting will be even worse,” he sighed.
“Arach,” I laughed and hit him.
“Tell me I'm wrong,” he gave me a snide look.
“I can't,” I chuckled. We may have to move them into the wing furthest from ours.”
“A fabulous idea,” he held the door open for me and I walked into our bedroom. “Now, tell me the rest of what happened between you and this Toby god.”
I sighed and went into the center of the room, dropping my head back to stare up at the vaulted ceiling. It was actually one of the numerous mountain peaks that adorned Castle Aithinne. The peaks were steep and spire-like, more architectural than natural. A testament to the fey powers of nature manipulation. There were niches carved out along the sides of the hollow shaft, right up to the tip, and candles were set within them. Some were already burning and for the first time ever, I wondered who had lit them and how. For all I knew, Arach had just breathed on them.
“Vervain?” Arach pressed.
“Alright,” I sighed and looked back at him. “Toby vanquished my magic with a feather and abducted me so that his brother, a sun god, could pour the memories of his ex-lover, a moon goddess and the mother of his twin boys-who happen to be Teharon and his now deceased brother Tawiskaron-into me. They hoped to make me into this goddess so that I would help them lead their people into war against the rest of the United States. I drank all of the blood in Atahensic's preserved body-Atahensic being the aforementioned moon goddess, lost myself to her memories, and fell in love with Toby instead of his brother Naye, thus foiling Naye's plans but actually I made a better pairing with Toby anyway and we did a ritual to combine our powers which worked really well but in the end, Toby was killed by Fallon at a battle with the Native American rebels. Before he died, Toby released me from his feather's power, returning my magic to me and giving me the control I needed to lock away Ata's memories. Then he gave me his feather to vanquish his brother. There, the rest you know,” I took a long breath and let it out.
Arach gaped at me, one hand still on the open door.
“Aren't you going to say something?”
“To what?” He asked with wide eyes. “I could barely understand all of that. “From what I could glean, it seems that you were abducted and forced to become another woman.”
“Kind of, yeah,” I cringed a little at his words because I knew what was coming next.
“So how exactly did you fall in love in the middle of all that?” Arach asked right on cue.
“I don't know,” I shrugged. “A combination of things I guess. I managed to fall in love with you after you abducted me.”
“That was an entirely different situation,” his eyes flashed.
“Was it?” I lifted a brow at him. “You kidnapped me because you felt like chasing a human through the forest again, like back in the good ol' days when the Wild Hunt was able to roam the Human Realm,” I smirked. “Then you found out what I was and abducted me again, stealing my memories and forcing me to become the woman you needed. Now, the only difference I can see is that Toby never wanted to hurt me. In fact, he stopped his brother from harming me on multiple occasions.”
“Are you angry with me over this?” He slammed the door behind him. “I've already repented for my sins and you said you forgave me for them. To bring them back to light and shove them in my face is most vicious and unfair, my dragoness.”
“No, I'm not angry,” I sighed. “I didn't mean to shove it in your face. I just wanted you to see that you're not so very different from Toby. You were both doing what you felt needed to be done.”
“Noted,” Arach took a deep breath.
“I'm sorry I said that.”
“Vervain, I don't want you to have anymore men in your bed,” he ground out and I noticed the tension in his shoulders. It made them look wider, more imposing, and I wondered if he was doing it on purpose.
“Arach, truly, what difference does it make to you? You rarely interact with the others. Our life here is separate from my life with them.”
“What difference?” His brows lifted in shock. “You don't think it makes a difference to me how many men share your bed? You don't think I lie awake some nights, watching you sleep, wondering what you look like in your other bed? With your other lovers. Wondering if you touch them the same way you touch me or if they do things for you that I don't. It's all I can think on sometimes.”
“I... no, I didn't know that,” I whispered. “Arach, I thought you were okay with this?”
“I will never be okay with this,” Arach shook his head and huffed a disbelieving laugh. “I thought you knew that. I thought we'd talked about this enough for you to understand that I put up with this because it's the only way I can have you, not because I'm okay with it. Would you be okay with it? If I had numerous lovers in another realm, would you be okay?”
“No,” I said quietly, my heart beginning to thud painfully in my chest. “No, I wouldn't. I'm sorry, Arach. I don't know what to do to make this right with you. Tell me what you want me to do.”
“There's nothing you can do,” he sighed roughly. “This isn't about forcing you into a choice, Vervain. I just want you to acknowledge that this is not the relationship I'd choose to have with you, if I'd had a choice.”
“You do have a choice,” I swallowed hard.
“Perhaps,” he agreed in a soft voice. “I could choose to cast you out of Aithinne, break my vows to you, and anger my entire kingdom in the process. I could take another lover and never feel your fire on my skin or taste your blood on my lips again. I could force you from my mind and heart and hope that one day I'd forget you entirely. I could do all of that but I would only make myself miserable for the sake of pride. Our relationship may not be exactly what I want it to be but it's still our relationship. I'd rather compromise with you than have my way with another.”
“I don't want you to be unhappy,” I said in a little voice. “I don't want you to feel like you've compromised.”
“I'm not unhappy,” he frowned and then growled, “mostly.” He made a frustrated sound. “When you first came back to me, I was so grateful to have you, nothing else mattered. It wasn't just that I felt real love for the first time, it was the hope you represented for our race. You were a treasure worth sacrificing for. I would have done anything to make it work between us.”
“And now?” I prompted.
“Now, I'm still grateful to have your love and the chance to have a family with you, but I'm a dragon, Vervain,” he huffed. “I was meant to have one mate who would be faithful to me in return. One dragoness to bind myself to forever. A woman who would love me as fiercely as I love her.”
“I thought I did love you fiercely,” I knew this conversation was going badly but I had no idea how to save it.
“You do,” he came to me in a rush and took me by the waist, hands hot on my skin even through the fabric of my dress. “Your love is more than anything I could have hoped for. You've made me feel things I don't think I would have with a normal dragon-sidhe woman. When I'm with you, my dragon roars with joy inside me, but it's that very happiness that makes it so hard to accept the other men in your life. I don't want to share you.”
“You're saying you wouldn't be as upset about the others if you didn't love me so much?” I lifted a brow.
“Yes, I guess I am,” he smiled a little. “I know you can't change things and I'm not asking you to. I understand that it has to be like this, I do.”
“But?�
�� I prompted.
“But I need to feel more present in your life,” he growled. “All of your life. You're my wife and I would never make a big decision without consulting with you first. Yet you do that very thing, quite often, to me. I need to have some say in what you do, some kind of control to appease my beast with. Something more than the illusion of having you all to myself. I want to be able to say no to you and have you respect that. As you do with Trevor.”
“As I do with all of them,” I nodded, “including you.”
“What?” He deflated.
“I should have asked you before attempting to bring Toby into my life,” I slid my hands up his arms. “I'm sorry. I guess I'd thought that it wasn't as important for you since it really wouldn't affect our life here. I won't make that mistake again. You're right, you deserve a say, even if what's happening isn't in this realm. You have a right to make your objections known or give your approval on major decisions in my life, and from now on I will make sure to respect that.”
“Truly?”
“Of course,” I lifted a hand to his cheek. “I love you and I want you to be happy. We'll just have to make sure you answer all mirror summons alone until we know who's calling.”
“I don't follow,” he frowned.
“Well, the biggest reason I don't seek your advice on things going on in the other realms is that I'd have to mirror you to ask it and what with me traveling through time...”
“Right,” he nodded and let out his breath. “I remember talking about this with you now. We feared it would disrupt time if you happened to see yourself or speak with yourself here while you were still there.”
“Exactly,” I smiled gently. “We decided not to risk it. I could mention something that my other self may not know about yet.”
“I'll be sure to answer the mirror alone,” he said with resolve. “If you're in the room, you'll have the chance to leave and not even see yourself in the glass.”
“Okay,” I agreed. “I think that should work. You know, I almost didn't bring Toby back because Odin was actually against it as well but he agreed to a trial period in the end.”