by Jillian Hart
The muted light of evening hazed the town with a Norman Rockwell glow. Sean jumped into the back of the truck, since they’d picked up Cheyenne and Autumn in town. The last thing he wanted to do was to be stuck in the cab with three women bent on talking weddings. Not that he objected to matrimony, but a bachelor was required to avoid the topic. It was the manly thing to do.
“Are you sure you’re okay back there?” Cheyenne peeked out the back window.
“I’m used to being hauled around like a bale of hay,” he assured her. “It’s how my family always treats me.”
“Sure they do.” Cheyenne laughed at him, shook her head as if to say there was no understanding the male species and told Addy to hit the gas.
The truck rolled forward away from the curb leaving the hubbub of the street fair behind. Some vendors had closed up for the day, others were doing a stellar business. In a few minutes’ time, they hit the outskirts and the vehicle gained speed on the country road.
Since he had a moment to himself, he yanked his phone from his pocket. With the breeze whipping his face and hair, he studied the screen. One voice mail, it said. If he pushed the button, then he would hear her voice. He still smarted somewhat fiercely at the thought.
He drummed his thumb on his knee, debating. What did she want? If he deleted it without listening, he would never know. She might have apologized. Maybe listening to something like that would give him closure. Or, he thought with a leap of his pulse, she might want to get back together.
What do I do, Lord? He had moved on without Meryl and he was finally happy. Why mess that up?
Eloise. She was the one he wanted to talk with about this. She would understand. Was it wrong to want to see her? He frowned, belting out a frustrated sigh, angry with himself. After that debacle with the failed kiss, he didn’t think he had the right to count on her friendship. He moved his thumb to the number pad of his phone, wishing he could call her.
He couldn’t.
The truck swept around a long, lazy country corner heading directly into the sun. The shade from the cab fell over him, and his screen glowed brightly like a sign. He would face his problems on his own. He hit the voice-mail call button and waited, palms damp and respiration sketchy. Meryl’s ingenuous alto lilted from the speaker.
“Sean. I know it’s been a while and you probably don’t want to talk to me. That’s fine, I understand. I really do.” Her voice hitched, as if she were in pain. “Please call me anyway. I need you to know how I feel. I made a mistake. A big mistake. Have you ever made one that you feel so bad about you are afraid nothing you can do will ever make it right? Well, that would be me. I’m praying there’s a way to make things right, Sean. God is guiding me back to you.”
A big mistake? He hit Delete. That tore him up. Things hadn’t worked out with the dentist, huh? He was sorry for that, but he felt stirred up. The old wound became fresh.
This was why love was a bad idea. It should be avoided at all costs.
The back window slid open and Autumn smiled out at him. She shone with deep, contented happiness, the kind that polished her from the inside out. True love had done that. He was glad it had worked out for her. Concern creased her brow as she studied him. “Hey, are you all right?”
“I’m okay.” He shrugged, hoping to dislodge the pain. It didn’t work, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it.
“I just heard the scoop about you and Eloise.” She brushed her auburn curls behind her ear as the wind caught them. “I think it’s great, by the way. We’ve all known Eloise forever.”
“That’s the way things go in a small town. People leap to the wrong conclusions awful fast.” He loved this way of life, but he could use a little more privacy, at least where his heart was concerned. He’d taken two blows all in one day, first Eloise’s rejection and now Meryl’s apology, and it was about all he could take. “I’m just helping her with the inn’s horses.”
“It’s so sad about those poor things.” Autumn grew serious. “Is there something I can do?”
“You’ll have to ask Cady. They’re in relatively good condition, considering. No major illnesses, no injuries, and they are being well cared for now.”
“Still, I feel like I should do something. Maybe I’ll swing by the inn and see them.”
“Sure.” Inspiration hit. Maybe he should ask her to take over his offer to help Eloise instead. If Autumn stepped in, he could retreat into the background and keep his distance. It would be safer to bow out. It was a good idea, except for the matter of the quickly approaching wedding. As busy as Autumn was, he figured she would shuffle around her responsibilities.
He couldn’t ask her. He couldn’t say the words.
Chapter Ten
The Pioneer Days rodeo was in full swing. Eloise eased onto the hard bleacher seat, tucked her cane against her knee and resisted the urge to scan the rest of the arena for a certain somebody. Sean Granger was not on her mind—at least that was her goal.
“Oh, good, we haven’t missed the barrel racing.” Mom twisted open the small thermos she’d brought in a big wicker basket. “Do you want some, sweetie?”
“No thanks.” While she listened to her mom pour a cup of iced tea to share with Dad, she did her best to watch the last of the event on the grounds below. Two riders on horseback swung lassoes after a wily black calf who was good at evading them.
“Oh, ho!” The announcer, Tim Wisener Junior, called out. “Looks like the Walters brothers have to try again.” The speakers blared and echoed as the mid-afternoon heat blazed like an oven.
Just like old times. She found herself smiling. She’d forgotten all the many things she’d missed over the years about small-town life. A hometown rodeo was one of them. Half the county crowded onto the bleachers or milled around on the adjacent street. The wind brought the scents of dust, hay and popcorn from a nearby vendor’s kiosk.
Everywhere she looked, she saw someone she recognized and exchanged smiles. Sierra Baker sat beside her fiancé, Tucker Granger, with her young son, Owen, tucked between them, pointing excitedly to the goings-on below. Sierra’s parents, the Boltons, sat on the bench above. The group made a pretty picture of a family gathered for a fun day together and they weren’t alone. Nearby Frank Granger sat next to Cady, surrounded by his family. Oops—she averted her gaze. Best not to look at that section of the bleachers where Sean was sure to be.
Down the row, she spotted the Parnell girls, all four of them blonde and as golden as could be, and her grandmother’s friend, Mrs. Plum, sitting hand-in-hand with her husband of over fifty years. She noticed Jeremy Miller and his kids. The Bakers, Chip and Betty, looked happy and content surrounded by their immediate family. Their daughter, Terri Baker-Gold, sat with her husband radiating happiness, her hand resting lightly on the small bowl of her abdomen. Word had it their first baby was due in November.
So many happy families. Eloise blew out a breath but it didn’t ease the painful tension bunched up in her chest. Since she knew who and what was responsible for it, she tried to ignore it. Not exactly easy, since every time she took a breath the tension refused to budge.
“Helene.” A friendly woman’s voice spoke from the row behind them. The scent of chocolate-chip cookies filled the air. Eloise glanced over her shoulder to see Martha Wisener holding an open plastic container full of treats. “Would you all care for some? I went on a baking binge this morning and made way too much.”
“They look delicious,” Eloise heard her mom say. “I’m going to get that recipe out of you one of these days.”
“You and everyone else.” Martha laughed. She tipped the container closer. “Eloise, you must have one. I’ve heard all about your quest.”
“My quest? Do you mean finding the horses?” She thanked Martha and took a cookie. They looked buttery and chocolaty. How could anyone resist? She took a nibble and the soft chewy center and melty chips were bliss.
“Everyone’s talking about it.” Martha, who was also the mayor’s wife and the to
wn realtor, was up on all the latest news. She missed nothing. “I hunted down Cady a little bit ago to hear all about it. Abandoned horses. Such a terrible thing. I hear you were the one to find them.”
“Actually, it was the humane society. They called me.”
“Sad. I’m thankful they were found. Can you imagine? You just know God intervened at exactly the right moment. Any longer and who knows what would have happened to the poor things?” Martha tipped the cookie box in the other direction, offering it to Gran. “You have to be proud of your granddaughter, Edie.”
“She’s a keeper.” Gran beamed sweetly. “How many horses are you going to find for Cady, dear?”
“I don’t know. I’ll stop when she tells me to or when the stable is full.” The announcer hollered over the speaker, excited by a time earned by the next team-roping pair to finish—the Granger girls. Eloise turned back to her grandmother. “Knowing Cady, she will simply build another stable and fill that one also.”
Down below, Addy lifted both fists in victory, while Cheyenne coiled up her lasso and rode her horse toward the gate. Apparently the team had won. Eloise cupped her hands to her mouth. “Yay, Cheyenne! Yay, Addy!”
Her call was lost in the crowd, but she was happy for her friends and in that unguarded moment she forgot to keep her gaze averted from the section of bleachers directly ahead of her.
Sean. Her focus zoomed straight to him. He sat one row behind his uncle, his hat shading his rugged face. He was magnificent in a navy T-shirt shaping his impressive physique and jeans. So handsome, he made the knot in her chest multiply and she gasped for air. Time reeled backward and she remembered the moment on the street when he’d leaned in and she’d panicked.
What if she hadn’t stopped him? The thought made her pulse bump to a stop. What if she had let him kiss her? Would he have pushed her away when he came to his senses? When the kiss was done and he stepped away, would he have regretted his impulsive act?
Probably. The sunlight glinted off her cane, propped against the bench beside her. What other outcome could there be?
His head shot up as if he’d sensed her interest and across the arena their gazes fused. The sounds and sights of the stadium faded until there was nothing but the intensity of his bold blue eyes rooting her into place. She could not move or blink, not even breathe. Could she rip her gaze away from his?
No. She felt an incredibly powerful pull on her heart, which felt like regret. She missed him. She remembered his stalwart kindness as he’d tended the starving horses and assisted the vet with competence and compassion. She recalled the strength in his arm when she’d needed to lean on him at the street fair when she’d forgotten her cane. Would his kiss have been gentle?
“Eloise?” Her gran’s voice came as if from a far distance. “Is that Sean Granger? You should go say hi to the boy.”
“N-no.” The word stuck in her throat and sounded unnaturally loud and defensive. Oops, she hadn’t meant to sound that way. She cleared her throat and tried again. “I mean, yes, it’s him, but no, I don’t need to say hi.”
“Sure you do,” Gran insisted. “After all the time you two have been spending together. You don’t want to let a man like that get away.”
“Get away?” She highly doubted she had a chance of ever holding Sean Granger. “He’s just a friend.”
“Famous last words,” Martha interjected. “Although in this case, it might be wise. I hear he’s nursing a broken heart.”
“Eloise, you’ve been spending a lot of time with one of the Granger boys?” Mom sounded bewildered. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“Because it’s nothing.” She wished she could focus on anything else but her gaze remained glued to his. Sean and his riveting blue stare, the strong lines of his face, the cut of his high cheekbones and the unyielding angle of his jaw—she couldn’t see anything else.
They’d had fun together. She wished it could be more. But she had learned a painful yet important lesson from Gerald. Her disability was a liability to men. Hadn’t all her blind-date fiascos proven it? No, she’d been right to stop Sean before he’d kissed her. They had to stay friends.
Tossing him an uncertain smile, she ripped her gaze from his. She felt winded from the superhuman effort that took, and her vision couldn’t seem to focus on anything else. The blur of a horse and rider in the ring below would not become clear.
The barrel racing events had obviously started, but she hadn’t heard Tim Wisener Junior announce it nor could she hear his comments as a horse spun around a barrel and knocked it over. Why couldn’t she concentrate?
Because her attention was still on Sean. She could see him in the corner of her vision. He leaned forward, planted his elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his fists. He looked frustrated. He looked to be thinking. Was he regretting that she’d pushed him away? Or was he glad he hadn’t kissed her?
You’re not whole, Eloise. Gerald’s words rolled up from her memory. Nothing is ever going to change that. I can’t keep pretending it doesn’t matter. I’ve tried, I really have.
She bowed her head, remembering how painful the lesson was. Her pink cane glinted in the sun, a reminder that her condition was never going to improve.
“Next up, we have Cheyenne Granger.” Tim Junior’s friendly tenor blasted across the open-air arena. “She’s riding Dreamer, and she is our returning champion. Eight times she’s won this event. Will she do it again? Here she comes, so let’s find out.”
Eloise swallowed and ate the remaining bite of the cookie before cupping her hands to cheer for her friend. When she was a girl, she used to race barrels and not well, so she knew it was harder than it looked. Cheyenne and her horse worked like a flawless team in a mad dash toward each barrel, each turn neat and tight before the all-out sprint for home.
“A new rodeo record!” Tim Junior proclaimed as the speaker crackled. “With a whole list of competitors to go, this is gonna get real interesting. Up next is Addison Granger. Let’s see if she can steal the title from her big sister.”
“Eloise?” A familiar baritone rumbled next to her ear. A familiar riding boot stepped into view.
Since her palms went damp and the knot sitting against her rib cage tightened, she didn’t need to look to know who settled on the bleacher beside her.
“Are you enjoying the rodeo?” he asked in a low voice, perhaps aware of her family and Martha on the row behind them leaning just a bit to try to listen in.
“S-sure.” The word caught in her throat. “Are you?”
“I always like a good rodeo. Look at Addy go.” He nodded toward the ring where Addy’s dappled gray American Quarter Horse executed a neat, hairpin turn around the second barrel. The crowd went wild as the mare dug in, stretched in an all-out sprint and pivoted around the final barrel. “She just might do it this year.”
Sean’s presence rattled her and she couldn’t concentrate as Addy rode to the finish. Bless him for coming over and making the first move.
“I can’t believe it!” Tim Junior’s excitement echoed across the arena. “A tenth of a second short. Cheyenne holds on to first place, but barely. That was a great run, Addy! Next up we have Ashleigh Parnell—”
“I never apologized to you for the other day.” Sean knuckled back his Stetson. “I should have and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.”
“It is? Whew.”
“Sure.” She wanted those words to be true. She showed how aloof and cool she could be, casual and unaffected. “It was no big deal.”
“I think it was.” He straightened his shoulders as if with an iron resolve. “It upset you and changed things between us.”
“Everything is fine, Sean.” She could practically see Martha Wisener ready to tumble off the edge of the bench straining to hear more. Gran wasn’t even trying to mask the fact that she was eavesdropping.
Great. The last thing she wanted was for everyone to know what had happened. That Sean
Granger hadn’t kissed her. In the ring below, Ashleigh Parnell raced to the finish and Tim Junior belted out her time, the third best, a hair below Addison’s. Eloise glanced down at her cane and wished with all her heart that she could be whole, the way she was before the accident. “Believe me, Sean, I understand completely.”
“That’s a relief. It won’t happen again. One thing about me, I can be taught. I never make the same mistake twice.”
“Then I guess we’re still friends.”
“Sure, you can’t afford to stay mad at me.”
“I wasn’t mad at you.”
“I have a horse trailer, remember? You need me.”
“Cheyenne has a horse trailer, too. I could replace you.”
“Don’t do it. I’m a horse lover from way back. After finding those starved horses, I’m more committed than ever. This cause is too important to me.” Even a lone wolf needed something to believe in and a purpose to his life. Even he needed a friend. As a small smile hooked the corners of her rosebud mouth and she returned her attention to the ring, he felt better. Happier.
Her Stetson shaded her lovely, wholesome face, and looking at her gave him a sweetly warm feeling.
He didn’t want anything serious, so he figured it was wise not to analyze his feelings any further. This was friendship. That was his story and he was going to stick with it. Eloise clearly didn’t feel anything else for him.
Good thing, he thought ignoring a sting of disappointment, the lone wolf he was determined to be.
Tim Junior belted out the name of the next contestant and the noise and commotion of the spectators reminded him they were far from alone. An electronic jingle interrupted whatever it was Sean had been about to say. He tugged his cell from his jeans pocket and answered the call. It was from the ranch. “Scotty?”
“Sunny’s finally decided to have her foal. Of course it’s when everyone but me is away.”
“That’s the way it always works.” A foaling mare he could handle. “Did you call Nate?”