by Darcy Burke
Damn, that put a damper on his plans. “There’s no one else who can work for you?”
“Afraid not. My assistant isn’t scheduled today, and I think she’s busy anyway.”
He exhaled in disappointment. “Can I at least make you breakfast while you shower?”
She smiled. “That I will take you up on.” She rolled away from him and nodded toward the condom. “Go do your thing first.”
He stood and walked toward the bathroom.
“And, hey, can I have a rain check?” she called after him.
He looked back over his shoulder, grinning in anticipation. “Absolutely.”
She licked her lips, and he groaned before heading into the bathroom.
After pulling on some athletic shorts and a loose T-shirt, he headed into the kitchen to make some eggs and sausage. He hoped she liked sausage. And eggs. These were important things he really ought to know. He looked forward to learning every little thing about her.
Just as he was about to throw the eggs into the skillet, there was a knock on the door. Who the hell would be coming by on a Sunday morning? Maybe Jamie had forgotten something else.
Luke wiped his hands on a towel and jogged to the door. He opened it and froze. Standing on the threshold was the last person he’d expected to see.
“Paige.”
She smiled, and he realized he’d forgotten her dimples. “Luke!” She sprang forward and wrapped her arms around him. Then she kissed his cheek, her mouth lingering against his flesh.
He took a step back and noticed that her gaze was fixed behind him and to the right. Toward the bathroom where Kelsey had been drying her hair and probably hadn’t heard the door. He realized—too late—that the sound of the blow dryer had stopped.
Well, shit.
He spun around and saw Kelsey’s wide-eyed stare just before she recovered.
He needed to think fast, but he couldn’t seem to come up with words.
Damn it.
Except curse words. Those were coming at him in a deluge.
He took a few steps toward Kelsey, putting more space between him and Paige. “Uh, Kelsey, this is Paige. Paige, this is Kelsey—my girlfriend.”
Kelsey’s gaze locked with his for a moment, and her eyes widened again, though more subtly than before.
Paige stalked forward and offered Kelsey her hand. “Hi, I’m Luke’s ex. He didn’t tell me about you when I talked to him the other day. Silly boy.” She laughed and cast him a dark look that didn’t match the jovial response.
Kelsey’s mouth pulled into a tight smile. “Oh, well, he didn’t tell me you were coming for a visit either. I guess his memory isn’t the best. Anyway, I need to get to work.” She went to the couch and grabbed her purse. “Bye.”
She left before Luke had a chance to salvage the situation.
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
Yep, he had plenty of swearwords.
Finally regaining his senses, he ran to the door and dashed outside, just barely catching Kelsey before she drove off. “Wait,” he said as he jogged up to her passenger window.
She pursed her lips and waved him off.
He shook his head and knocked on the window.
After a pause, she rolled down the window. “What?”
“I’m really sorry. Can we talk about this?”
She glanced at the clock on her dash. “I need to get to the library.”
“You have a few minutes. You were going to eat, after all.”
“Luke, I can’t do this right now. Last night was…a big step for me. And to have this thrown at me this morning—” She turned her head away from him.
“I had no idea she was coming.”
She looked at him again, and her eyes were sad. “It doesn’t matter. You need to go deal with that. Listen, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a relationship, and I’m definitely not ready for a guy with baggage.”
Goddammit. He ran his hand through his hair, growing frustrated. “There’s no baggage.”
She tossed an irritated look toward the house. “I’d beg to differ. Please let me go.”
Frowning, he took a step back. “We’ll talk later.”
She rolled up the window and backed out of the driveway. As he watched her leave, he wondered why she was even taking her car since the library was only a few blocks away. Maybe she didn’t plan to come back after work.
A cavalcade of curse words marched through his brain. He turned and stalked into the house, slamming the door after he got inside.
Paige had doffed her jacket and set her purse down and was now stirring eggs on the stove. She smiled brightly. “Can’t let good eggs go to waste. I always loved your scrambled eggs.”
Seriously? “You think I want to have breakfast with you after that?”
She shrugged. “You have to eat. So what’s the story? You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”
“Because I didn’t when I talked to you. This is new.” So damn new it might not even count as official. “You also know how much I value my privacy.”
Her face fell, and he could see that she was disappointed. “I see.”
“Paige, I don’t know what you were thinking would happen by surprising me, but we’re over. We’ve been over for a long time.”
She pulled the eggs from the stove and served them onto the plates he’d gotten out of the cupboard. “Only because you live here, and I lived in California. But I have a job interview tomorrow. It looks promising. We had a phone interview last week, and we really hit it off.”
“I’m happy for you. But you moving up here isn’t going to change things.” While he’d relied on the excuse of the geographical distance for the growing rift in their relationship, he’d also told her he thought it was for the best that they break up.
She dished up the sausage, which she’d also apparently finished cooking while he’d been outside. “How do you know it won’t change things? If we’re together, things might go back to the way they were.”
How could she want that? They’d been happy for a while, but the clingier she’d become, the more he’d pushed her away. She wanted their relationship to progress, and the more she’d told him that, the farther he’d wanted to run. “I don’t want things to go back to the way they were.”
She’d carried the plates to the table while he’d been thinking and now folded her arms over her chest. “Right. That would be too much effort. I wonder if Kelsey is aware of how little you like to contribute to a relationship.”
“If that’s how you feel, why are you here?”
She dropped her arms to her sides and came toward him, stopping far too close for his comfort. “Because I still love you, Luke, isn’t that obvious? I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t.” She looked away from him, and he could see that she was truly hurting.
Damn and damn.
His ire faded. “I’m sorry. Really. But I can’t change the way I feel.”
When she looked at him again, some of the fire had returned to her eyes. “I hope you’ll be honest with Kelsey. She deserves to know that you have issues with intimacy. Or whatever it is. Don’t let her fall head over heels in love with you while you’re thinking you’d rather just be fuck buddies.”
“Hey, you meant more to me than that.”
“Did I? I’d thought so—once. But now I’m not so sure.” She picked up her jacket and purse. “If you ever felt something for me, please be honest with Kelsey. Or maybe I should tell her what you’re really like.”
The irritation he’d just quashed flared into anger. “Don’t threaten me. I never took you for nasty.”
She averted her gaze again. “I’m not. I’m…sorry.” She shook her head and sent him a sad look. “Tell Kelsey the truth so she can go into this with her eyes open. You owe her that much.” She turned and went to the door. “See you, Luke.”
Literally, if she was going to be working up here. And wouldn’t that be awkward as hell?
“Hey, where’s your interview tomorrow? Maybe I
can put in a good word.” He might be annoyed with her, but at the end of the day, they’d had good times together and he didn’t wish her ill.
“Bellwether—in Salem.”
A good half hour plus away. Yay. “Hmm, I don’t know anyone, but I can ask around.”
“Only if you want. I appreciate it, thanks.” She opened the door, and he walked over to see her out.
“Good luck, Paige.”
She gave him a last, longing look before turning and going to her rental car parked in the street.
Luke closed the door and leaned against it. That had been an absolute disaster. He wanted desperately to talk to Kelsey, but Paige’s words weighed heavy on him.
Did he have issues with intimacy? He knew she meant closeness in a romantic relationship and not just sex. But the sex was a red flag. There’d been an occasion when Paige had asked him to make love to her. Those two words had frozen him—he’d realized in that moment that he didn’t love her, not the kind of love she deserved, and wasn’t sure he ever would. From then on, he’d started to distance himself from her.
Would the same thing happen with Kelsey? He couldn’t know. He hoped not. He cared about her so very much. The thought of feeling that way about her, or rather, not feeling that way made him queasy. He tried to think back and recall if he’d felt that way at the start with Paige. She was the longest relationship he’d ever had. He’d dated someone in college for a year or so, but they’d never been serious.
Apprehension wove through him. He’d been angry with the way Paige had shown up without warning and her feeble attempt at blackmail, but he’d also seen her hurt. He hadn’t meant to cause her pain. When he thought about inadvertently doing that to Kelsey after she’d already suffered so much…
He closed his eyes and knocked his head back against the door. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and went to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast he no longer felt like eating.
He stalked to the bedroom and took in the rumpled sheets. Memories of last night and this morning rushed over him, sparking his desire for Kelsey—both physically and emotionally. He had no idea where they were going, but he wanted to find out.
Chapter Thirteen
Fortunately, the first half of Kelsey’s shift flew by, thanks in part to a five-year-old who’d wanted to have her birthday party at the library. They’d set up in the children’s nook, and Kelsey had read three books of the birthday girl’s choosing. It had been a welcome diversion after the craptasticness of the morning.
Craptasticness?
As a librarian, she was supposed to be good with words. Hopefully that included making them up.
She shook her head, thinking she was more of a mess than she’d thought. And damn, was she a mess. Last night—and this morning—had been so fantastic, and then, in the blink of an eye, it had all gone to crap.
Yep, craptasticness was her new favorite made-up word.
Her phone buzzed again. She looked at it vibrating on the counter in front of her. Tempting as it was to pick it up, she was certain it was Luke. He’d already texted her at least four times, asking if he could pick her up after work, asking if she had time to talk, asking if she was ignoring him.
No. No. Yes.
She’d actually driven her car this morning, which was ridiculous since she’d had to park it almost as far away as she would’ve walked from Luke’s house. But there was something far more dramatic about stalking out of a scene like this morning and getting in a car to drive away. Merely walking down an idyllic street lined with trees turning red and gold just didn’t send the right message.
Had she been trying to send a message?
She had no idea. She’d been surprised and hurt and disappointed. And scared. She knew, of course, that relationships didn’t come with guarantees. She’d been in a relationship that had pretty much scared her off relationships forever. Or so she’d thought.
Luke challenged everything she thought she knew. He was kind, considerate, sexy as hell, and so caring. But it was all so new. This morning had proven that. Apparently, his ex still thought she had a shot with him.
Kelsey had come out of the bathroom and nearly tripped when she’d seen Paige’s arms around Luke. Then she’d kissed his cheek, and Kelsey’s gut had twisted. There was plenty of jealousy, but also anger. She’d let down her guard and gotten kicked in the face for her trouble.
She straightened her shoulders. Time to stop wallowing and get back to work. She picked up the books she’d just unboxed from yesterday’s late mail delivery and took them to the Spanish-language display she was creating. There were a lot of migrant workers in the area, and Kelsey hoped to encourage them to come to the library. Her Spanish wasn’t great, but she was working on making some signs and flyers and had an old college friend in Washington who was fluent who would ensure she got them right.
An older gentleman who’d been browsing the nonfiction area walked by her on his way to the door. “Don’t know why you need those books.”
She smiled at him as she propped a picture book on the table. “We have a good-sized Spanish-speaking population in the county. I’m sure they’d love to come in and find books in their language.”
He scoffed. “They need to learn English if they want to live here.”
Kelsey’s adrenaline spiked. She didn’t want to have an ugly confrontation, but this guy was a jerk. “They do learn English. They also want to hold on to their culture. I think that’s great. America is a melting pot, after all.”
He rolled his eyes. “You young people and your PC garbage.” He turned and left while Kelsey stared after him.
A couple in their thirties walked up to her. “We overheard your conversation,” the woman said. “You were amazing for standing up to him.”
Kelsey began to relax. “Thanks. I just couldn’t let him say that.”
“We would’ve backed you up if he’d kept on,” the man said, returning her smile. “Good job. And we love the library.”
She’d seen them in here before, usually on Sundays, she realized. “Thanks. I appreciate hearing that. Anything I can help you find today?”
“Actually, we’re looking for a documentary. It doesn’t look like you have it, but maybe it’s checked out.”
“I can certainly look. And I can try to find a copy at another library too.” She turned toward the counter. “Come with me.”
Kelsey immersed herself in work until it was just about closing time. As she eyed the clock, she wondered what she was going to do after she left. Go back to Luke’s? She still wasn’t ready to talk to him. Go home? She could…but more and more, she loathed the idea of spending time there at all. It was just so small and dingy, and after the water pressure at Luke’s house, she thought she might cry if she had to shower at her apartment.
Pulling her phone from her pocket, she texted Gram and asked if she had dinner plans. A few minutes later, Gram responded with an enthusiastic invitation for her and Luke to come eat at George’s with her. Kelsey accepted without bothering to clarify that it would just be her.
At last it was closing time, and she went to the door to flip the sign and lock up. As she got there, the door pushed open, and all she could see was a giant bouquet of flowers.
Luke’s head popped out from behind it, and he gave her a smile that normally would’ve melted her socks. However, her gaze went back to the flowers and stayed. Anxiety curled inside her, and ice chilled her spine.
“I brought you these,” he said, holding them out. “I wanted to apologize—profusely—for what happened this morning.”
She stared at the flowers but didn’t take them. She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Turning, she went to the counter where she had her purse locked up in the cabinet. Her hands were shaking, but she pulled the key from her pocket.
“Kelsey?” He’d followed her. “Are you just going to pretend I’m not here?” He lowered hi
s hand and let the flowers drop so that they pointed to the ground.
“No,” she said slowly, unlocking the cabinet. “I don’t have anything to say.”
“Then you can just listen. Paige is the girlfriend I mentioned to you before. We dated for a few years when I lived in California. Then we tried a long-distance relationship, but it didn’t work out. I guess she’s still sort of hung up on me. I didn’t realize, and I had no idea she was coming this morning. I’m so sorry.”
Kelsey put her purse over her shoulder. “I understand.”
He frowned. “It doesn’t sound like it.”
She walked toward the door. “Luke, I’m on my way out.”
Again, he followed her. “Kelsey, we need to talk about this. Please?”
He was probably right, but she couldn’t do it now. Not with those god-awful flowers. “I can’t right now.”
“You couldn’t this morning either. When would it be convenient?”
She heard the edge to his tone and pivoted to face him. “I’m sorry this isn’t convenient for you. But I don’t owe you anything.” She refused to feel beholden to anyone ever again. Not after Noah. Not after feeling as though her life wasn’t her own.
He winced. “I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated. We had such a nice night and morning, and now it’s all…a mess.” He held the flowers out to her again. “Can I at least give you these?”
“No. You can burn them.” She opened the door. “Please go, I need to lock up.”
He stared at her, and she glanced away, unable or maybe unwilling to look at the hurt in his gaze. Then he turned and walked out. He paused on the sidewalk and waited for her to lock the door. “Will I see you later?”
She pulled her purse strap higher on her shoulder as she stuffed the keys in one of the pockets. “I don’t know. I’ll…text. Or something. Bye.”
She spun around and strode away, feeling his stare burn into her back.
The late afternoon sun was bright and crisp, the breeze light and cool as she made her way to her car. Once inside, she sat there and stared at the park where children played, and a couple sat on a blanket enjoying a picnic. It was an idyllic scene and yet all she could see were the flowers Luke had brought her.