by Dani René
“Welcome dance?”
“Yeah, it’s all for show. Basically, it’s some form of waltz,” Cassian says, but his focus is on the plate in front of him. He seems so at ease with this, while I’m nervous, and the anxiety that’s slowly twisting in my gut has me on edge.
“I am not great at dancing,” I tell him, honestly.
He stops eating, piercing me with those blueish-green eyes, as he holds onto the silver knife and fork, and grins, before saying, “You haven’t been taught by a Thorne.” Then he continues wolfing down his food.
Guess I’m dancing today.
21
Nesrin
I haven’t needed to touch the box I keep hidden in my bathroom. Damien was right, our night run had given me a feeling of freedom from the anxiety. I can’t describe the lightness in my chest from not being able to think about anything other than making it out of the forest alive and unscathed. Even with the scrapes from the branches, I would do it again.
The moment I step foot into the bedroom, my phone buzzes. When I glance at the screen, my mother’s name glares at me condescendingly. Sighing, I answer, “Hi, Mom.”
“I’ve been waiting for you to respond all morning. It’s almost lunchtime, and I haven’t heard a peep from you.” Her voice is abnormally shrill.
“I’m sorry, I’ve been working with Cassian to learn this stupid dance,” I tell her, but if I had to be honest, I loved it. He’s fun, nothing like Damien, and I enjoyed spending time with him.
“Have you decided on college?” she asks, not bothering to check if I’m okay or what dance I’m talking about. Even if she knew what it was, I would’ve liked her to show interest.
“Not yet, Mother,” I respond, but the annoyance is evident in my voice. I know she’s going to be angry with me, but at this stage, I no longer care.
“I was talking to Bradford, he’s such a lovely man. He suggested you could look at applying to Oxford,” she says, with a squeal in her voice, which is new. My mother’s never been the squeaky type, not like her friends.
“Like… the one in England?” Confusion causes my brows to crease. I wasn’t expecting her to say this, to even suggest me traveling on my own to another country, without her constant advice being whispered in my ear.
“Yes, England. Since Damien will be heading out there to set up the Thorne Corporation in London, you’ll have someone you know to be there for you. Having family close by will be nice.”
Of course, she has no clue to just what Damien is becoming to me because she’s still away. I can’t even explain what he means to me. But the thought of being in another country, away from his dad and my mom, sounds like heaven. Perhaps we’ll be able to find our solace there.
Hope springs in my chest, but I tamp it down immediately. I can’t think about the future with him when I don’t know what he’s thinking.
We haven’t had time alone since that night, but I need to sit him down and talk about feelings. Emotions. The exact things I’ve noticed he doesn’t like talking about.
“I’d like that,” I finally answer, realizing my mother’s probably waiting for me to respond. “I mean, yes, I’ll look at Oxford. Thanks, Mom.”
“Of course.” She’s silent for a moment and for the first time in a long while, I realize she’s being nice. She’s showing affection, even though it’s over the phone. And that’s new.
“I hope you’re having fun.”
“I am. Listen, when I get back, there’s something I need to tell you,” she says, in a hushed whisper. “It’s important, and now that you’re old enough, I think it’s best you know.”
“What is it?”
“You’ll have to wait until we get back,” she says. “I hope you enjoy your time with the boys. And behave yourself, don’t give them too much trouble.” Her admonishment comes after her affection, and if I had to be honest, it hurts.
For once, I’d just like my mother to tell me she’s proud of me. Or that she loves me. But that’s not who Marcia Ellington is. And a new last name clearly hasn’t changed the cold, aloof woman who’s my mother.
The line dies, and I blink back the tears. I’m old enough to know that people don’t change. They grow up in a certain way and allow whatever happens to them to mold who they become.
And my mother is nothing but a cold-hearted woman who never wanted a child. I know this because I heard her and my dad fighting one night before he died.
And I realize nothing is going to change her.
Not now.
Not ever.
Having Cass and Finn around yesterday was nice, but I miss Damien. I’ve thought about him non-stop since my mother’s call. Even though I’m anxious about what she wants to tell me, I’m focusing on going to Oxford. I need to get my application in and read up on the university, but I’m excited.
Sitting at my desk, I open my laptop and log in. Opening the browser, I pull up the websites I need and scroll through the information. I open another tab and check the travel time between London and Oxford.
Not bad.
If he agrees to allow me to travel with him, I don’t know what that would mean for us, but as soon as he gets back, I’m going to try to talk to him about it. I don’t want to come across as needy, but this is my future.
If that doesn’t involve him, I’d want to know sooner, rather than later.
Damien is different than any of the other guys I knew back home, and he’s vastly different from his brothers. I know he’s hiding his own pain, and even though he told me about the fight between him and Creed, I have a feeling there’s more that he’s hiding.
A knock on my door startles me. Pushing off the chair, I pad over to the door and pull it open to find Damien leaning against the opposite wall. He could’ve easily pushed his way into my bedroom, but he didn’t.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he greets with his dark brow arched and those dimples peeking at me playfully. “Busy?” His blue eyes trail over me, from my messy bun all the way down to my black painted toenails. When he locks those baby blues on me and gifts me his sinful smirk, heat trickles its way over me like warmth from a blazing fire on a cold day.
“Not really.”
“Are you feeling better after the run?”
“Yeah, I… I enjoyed it.” I look at him, really look at him, and take note of every inch of him. His teeth bite down on his lower lip when he nods.
“Meet me in the greenhouse tonight.” He pushes off the wall and saunters toward the staircase. I watch him walk away; his back covered in a black tee that’s a little too tight. His ass is hugged in a pair of jeans that make me lick my lips at the sight. He’s too beautiful. My time with him, this month of not having our folks around will soon be over, and we’ll have to face the truth. We may not be able to be together when they’re back.
When our parents return from their honeymoon, Damien and I are going to need to talk. And just the thought of it has me worried.
It’s still a few hours before tonight, and now that I know he wants to meet, I can’t sit still. Pulling on a pair of sneakers, I head out of my room and make my way down the steps and toward the living room. The patio doors are open, and Finn is sitting on one of the chairs, smoking. The joint hangs from his full lips, his hair hanging over his forehead, as he looks down at his phone screen.
I can’t tell what he’s doing, but the moment I appear, he shoves it into his pocket and looks up at me. “Hey, little sis,” he grins, with a playful expression making him look younger than his twenty-four years.
“What are you up to?” I ask, allowing my gaze to sweep across the garden, then I bring it back to Finn.
“Not much, just getting high and enjoying the sunshine before tonight.”
I settle across from him before asking, “What’s happening tonight?”
“Bonfire,” he tells me. “The Black Knights and the Thornes always have a bonfire before the big dance in a week.”
“The big dance?”
“You’r
e going with me,” Damien says, appearing at the door. “Finn, don’t you have something to do?” He asks his brother, his eyes glowering down at the youngest Thorne.
“Nah,” Finn winks at him, and I can feel the animosity in the air. I’m not sure what they’re hiding, but I’ll find out. “I’ve just been chatting to Gen.”
“Leave her the fuck alone. She’s bad news. You know she runs with the Havens.” There’s poison in Damien’s words when he spits the last word. He told me briefly about them, but I don’t know the full story. And I have a feeling it’s quite a story.
“Are you going to the bonfire tonight?” I ask Damien, trying to calm the brothers down and to eliminate some of the animosity that seems to be brewing between them.
“No. And neither are you.”
I shoot to my feet, crossing my arms over my chest, and question him, “What? Why?”
One thing I’ve come to learn about Damien Thorne over the past week, he doesn’t say something because he wants a reaction. He tells me, Cass, and Finn something, so we can obey, but this time, I’m fighting back.
“Because I fucking said so,” he tells me, with those flame-blue eyes boring through me. I expect him to close the distance between us, but I can also feel Finn’s intrigued stare on me. Damien shakes his head before turning to leave. I’m starting to get used to watching Damien walk away from me.
“Just ignore him, he’ll get over himself,” Finn tells me. “Damien is the eldest, so he takes it upon himself to exert his power, but Cass will talk to him and get him to back down. You have to be at the bonfire, it’s one of the most epic events, besides the actual dance.”
“I’m not great in crowds,” I tell Finn honestly. “I have anxiety. It starts slowly, taking hold of my muscles and twists in my stomach.”
“You’ll be fine. You’ll have me, Cass, and the asshole to look after you. And if Damien tells you he’s your date, I know he won’t leave your side.”
My heart stutters at Finn’s words, but I don’t reply, because I don’t know how to tell him that I’ve done things with his brother. Granted, it was just intense making out, but I’m meant to be their family now. Even if we’re not related.
“And I know my big brother wants to see if those petals of yours will wilt under his thorny exterior,” Finn whispers when he walks away, chuckling at his unamusing comment.
Time to talk to Damien.
I may be young, but I’m not his property. He can’t just tell me what to do and expect me to obey.
22
Damien
Finn is pissing me off. The fact that he’s got Gen on his radar has me extra cautious. She’s trying to wiggle her way into our lives again. She’s one mistake I’m not making again, and my brothers should steer clear as well.
Nesrin’s face was a picture when I told her she’s not going to the bonfire tonight. I knew she’d have something to say about it, especially with my brother acting like a teenager vying for attention.
I know she’s angry. And I don’t blame her, she should be. I’m an asshole who’s not worthy of her, and my father’s suggestion that she travels to England with me is preposterous.
She should be running away from me, not away with me. But I’ve not been forthcoming with her. I’ve only offered her the bare minimum, and she deserves more than that. I don’t know why I give a shit, but I do.
Shaking my head, I run my fingers through my hair. Bradford is going to return in a couple of weeks, and he will more than likely find me balls deep in my stepsister because, each time I’m near her, I can’t fight this need to have her.
Chuckling, I picture his face at the sight.
My father’s been absent more times than I can count, and I wonder if seeing me with Nesrin will actually get him to see us. Finn, Cass, and I grew up with each other. I took the lead because I was older, but I never felt like I was a good role model.
When I realized they would be looking up to me, I walked away from The Black Knights. I never wanted my brothers to do the shit I did. Even though Cass was part of the group, for a short while, he didn’t go through with initiation. And Finn has never shown interest in following that path. Which I’m thankful for.
It’s almost time. This will be our second night in the greenhouse, the second meeting between us, and I can’t stop thinking about what I want to propose. The bullshit I’ve witnessed over the years is nothing compared to Nesrin hurting herself. I know that the distractions I’ve given her won’t last.
I know she’ll want to go to the fucking bonfire tonight, which only sets the unease coiling in my gut. Having her around Creed is not what I planned for us tonight, but if she asks, I may indulge her.
But there will be rules.
And if she doesn’t obey them, I’ll punish her. The thought of having her on her knees in my bedroom has my zipper tightening. I make my way down the stairs, finding the house silent. Finn and Cass must’ve left already, so I head toward the patio. Time to find my wild rose.
When I finally reach the greenhouse, I’m tense. But the moment I step over the threshold, I find her waiting for me. She’s dressed in black, a tight pair of pants that seem to be painted on her slender legs. Her hips flare beautifully, and my gaze drinks in the pretty curves of Nesrin Ellington.
She turns when she hears my feet crunch on the ground. Her eyes are shining, and I glance down at her hands to find her with a small, silver blade. She doesn’t appear to be bleeding, but I race to her.
“What have you done?”
“You need to tell me what happened the night you and Creed fought.” Her voice seems barren of emotion. She looks empty, as if she’s lost in a world that I can’t enter.
“Listen to me,” I tell her, pulling her closer, my hands on her shoulders, holding her. “What happened? Why are you holding a blade?” Even though I’m asking her, I have a feeling I know what she’s going to tell me.
“I didn’t do anything, Damien,” she bites out, frustration lacing her tone, but I don’t believe her. I don’t know why.
“Please, tell me.”
“I needed to hold it. It’s a safety net.” Finally, she locks her gaze on mine, as if she’s woken from a dream. “It’s how I feel safe in my own mind.”
“You are safe,” I tell her. “I’m here, you’re safe.”
Even though I’m confident in my words, her next question slams into me like a freight train, trying to take me down. “Like the games you used to play?”
“Those games have nothing to do with you, wild rose,” I tell her. My frustration at Finn is taking on a whole new level. He had no right to tell her anything about my past. That’s my story to tell.
“I want to know you,” she finally says, setting the fucking blade down. “Share something of you with me.” Those eyes, they cut me so deep, right down to my soul. She looks right through me, and I know she sees the darkness I hide inside.
“The way you feel holding a blade is the same way I feel holding my stories close to my chest. It’s a safety net. When I was younger, I felt like I needed those twisted games to survive this shit hole.”
“If you hate it so much here, why do you stay?”
“Why do you want to delve into my mind so much?” I ask her, the pain in my voice is clear, and I know she’ll hear it. I step closer to where she’s standing. We’re inches apart. The scent of her perfume invades my senses, turning my blood hot, my need for her growing at a rapid pace. “Do you like seeing what monsters lurk in the dark?”
“Monsters don’t scare me.” Her voice breaks, her eyes shimmer, and I fight the urge to smile at her glistening emotion. I’m a fucking monster.
I reach for her, swiping my thumb along her plump lower lip before I lean in farther and whisper, “they should.”
“Why?” she challenges, tipping her chin up, her eyes locking on mine. “At least with a monster, he doesn’t hide his true face. It’s the people who show off their angelic nature that should scare you.”
“Fake, poli
shed, and pristine.” I nod in understanding. The moonlight slowly disappears behind a heavy cloud, and soon enough, we’re thrust into darkness. The pinpricks of the stars offer no illumination, and I find it easier to breathe her in.
“What are you doing?” Nesrin whispers when my hand trails up her thigh. I want so badly to open her legs, to lap at her pussy, to taste her sweetness. My cock hardens at the thought of all the things I would love to do to her, but the moment we cross the line, we’ll never be able to go back.
“There are secrets in this town I hope you never learn about,” I tell her. “This house, the darkness that resides here, has infected each and every person.”
“Including you?” Nesrin looks up at me, the moment my fingertips reach her stomach. The top she’s wearing rides up, and I continue my trail up to her breast. A gasp falls free from her mouth, and I’m so hungry to taste it. To once again devour her lips, but I watch her, as I reach her nipple, tugging the hardened bud between my fingers.
Another mewl tumbles free, and I lean in to whisper my lips along hers. “I’m the worst of all, wild rose.” The promise and confession, wrapped in one, feathers over her. Her long, dark lashes flutter at my nearness, and I don’t know how I’m going to quit her.
“I don’t think you’re bad.” Her confidence is apparent in her words. I twist her nipple hard, tugging it until she cries out. “That’s not a sign of you being a bad person, Damien.”
The corner of my mouth kicks up. My other hand reaches for the back of her neck, my fingers tangling in her long dark hair, and I tug her head back, earning myself another dick-hardening moan.
“I never said I was a bad person, wild rose,” I tell her. “I’m the fucking monster under your bed. The creature that will leave you broken and bleeding on the floor. I’ll smile while you ask me for mercy.” With every sentence I utter, I watch her tongue dart out, licking her lips. Even in the dark, I can see how affected she is by me.