A Cut so Deep (Thornes & Roses Book 1)

by Dani René

  Glancing up from between her thighs, I meet her stare and smile, before my mouth lands on her pussy and my tongue darts between her slick folds. Her taste is like a drug. Like pure fucking heroin shot right into my veins.

  I use my thumbs to open her to my gaze before I feast on her pussy. Glistening and wet, she’s writhing with every kiss and suck. My tongue dips into her, deep inside the tightness that my cock is throbbing to enter.

  “Damien, please, I’m so close,” Nesrin pleads with me, and I glance up to find her needy gaze on mine.

  I shake my head and move up her body until our faces are inches apart. I reach to the floor, finding my slacks and pulling out my wallet. The foil wrapper is torn, and I’m sheathed without another word.

  I nestle between her thighs, my cock nudging her entrance. The heat from her is taunting me, and I can’t think about anything other than feeling her.

  “It’s…” Nesrin’s gaze locks on mine, and I have a feeling I know what she’s going to say. But I wait for it. “It’s my first time.”

  “I’ll be gentle,” I promise something I’m not sure I can keep. She nods, and I inch myself into her tightness. The heat sears me, causing my eyes to roll back in my head.

  “Oh,” her whimper seems to echo through me. With every nudge of my hips, her nails dig farther into my shoulders. Her slickness accepting me, but her tightness practically choking me. I still for a moment, as soon as I hit the barrier of her innocence. “Move, Damien. Just do it,” Nesrin grits, through clenched teeth. And I obey her. My hips thrust, my cock sinks into her, breaking through, claiming her as mine.

  Nesrin’s body arches into mine, her tits against my chest, her nipples hard, her mouth parted on a moan, as her head falls back. Leaning in, my mouth captures her neck, sucking the smooth flesh, tasting her as if I’m starved, and she’s my only sustenance.

  I’ve never been with a virgin before. I’ve never taken purity from a girl, but with Nesrin, it feels as if I was meant to. Her legs wrap around my waist, and her gaze snaps to mine.

  “Fuck me,” she pleads, before lifting herself against me, taking me without my permission. I can’t help but smile at her strength and bravery, at her claiming me, instead of the other way around.

  Pulling out, I watch her face, as I sink back in, thrusting deep. My hips move quickly. With Nesrin’s soft sighs taking precedence over my desire, I watch, as she winces, each time I slide into her. But she doesn’t ask me to stop; instead, she digs her nails in and pulls me closer. Her lips part, her eyes lock on mine, and a slow smile curves on her face.

  “You’re beautiful,” I tell her, honestly. My voice is husky. The words are raw with emotion that wrap themselves around my throat, tightening with each movement.

  “I’ve wanted this since I first saw you,” she whispers, as our bodies move. Even though I can see she’s still in pain with every movement, she allows me to fuck her harshly.

  I reach between us, circling her clit, teasing her with my fingers. Her body pulses around mine. I’m sure she won’t find her release since it’s her first time, but I slow my movements with every taunt of my thumb.

  “Fuck, Damien,” she begs when I pinch the hardened nub between my fingers. Her body clamps down on my shaft, sucking me into her heat.

  “I can’t hold out.”

  “Come,” she orders me, but I don’t think she realizes just what she’s saying. “I want you. I want all of you.”

  I pull out suddenly, sitting back on my heels, I jerk the condom from my dick and fist myself. Nesrin’s eyes widen at my movements before she locks her gaze on my cock. I stroke my shaft, back and forth—once, twice—on the third stroke, I shoot my release over her mound, coating her stomach and thighs.

  I wanted to come inside her. To find pleasure in her body, but I couldn’t do it when she was in pain. It’s going to take her time to get used to my size, and I’ll gladly practice with her every day until she finds her own release when I’m inside her.

  But, for now, that was everything I ever wanted and more. Looking up, I stare at her expression, trying to make out what she’s feeling, but Nesrin hides her emotions right when I need to read her.

  “I’m sticky,” she mumbles, gently swiping my arousal from her stomach, and doing something that only makes my cock jolt in appreciation. She presses her wet fingers to her tongue and licks my seed from both digits.

  “Fuck.”

  “I like the taste of you,” she whispers, with a shy smile on her face.

  “I like watching you taste me,” I tell her, with a grin that’s not normally something I offer anyone. I haven’t felt happy or at peace for a long time. Years have come and passed, and the heartbreak of seeing my family fall apart stole my teenage years from me. But as I settle beside Nesrin, pulling the comforter over us, I watch her nestle in the crook of my arm, and I’m not sure I can ever let her go now.

  My father won’t be happy. I know he’ll lose his shit the moment he gets back, and I tell him what my plans are, but he’ll have to live with it because she’s mine.

  And after tonight, I’m never letting her go.

  “Thank you,” Nesrin says softly, dragging me from the thoughts that have taken hold of me. “I like this.”

  “I told you, wild rose, you’re mine.” I want to tell her more, something so much more than just the words I’ve uttered previously, but it’s not the right time. “Thank you for waiting for me.”

  She giggles, the sound melodic and heartwarming. “I didn’t wait for you,” she tells me confidently. “I was waiting for the right man.”

  “Are you trying to tell me I’m not the right man?”

  Nesrin rolls her eyes in indignation, but the smile on her face makes everything right. I know we’re meant to be. I can see it in the way we find our happiness with each other. She silences my demons when she needs to, but she also plays with them when they seek her out.

  “Can I sleep now?” she sasses me. “Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” She’s right. I nod, pulling her into me, as we settle on the bed and look up at the stars. They twinkle down at us, reminding me just how insignificant we are. But our folks arrive home in a couple of days, so I need to make the most of the time I have with her before they return.

  In the darkness, we find solace. She’s my ocean—deep and endless—and I want to drown in her. Nothing compares to being beside her. And I know if she walks away, I’ll break.

  33

  Nesrin

  When I roll over, I find myself in my own bed. Last night, I distinctly remember falling asleep beside Damien on the roof. The discomfort between my thighs is no longer the cause of my stupidity from using a blade, but because I’ve leaped over the edge from girl to woman. I was honest with Damien last night; I never once found someone I wanted to give that part of me to. Yes, I almost lost it, almost gave it away to someone who didn’t matter, but when he walked out with disgust on his face, I knew I needed my first time to be special.

  And it was.

  Reaching for the pillow beside me, I pull it to my nose and inhale. Damien’s cologne still saturates the material, and I enjoy it for a short while, before my door swings open.

  “You’re awake,” Damien says, drawing my attention to him. Last night was filled with strange occurrences. My aunt disappeared after the hide and seek game, and I asked Damien if I could talk to her. He promised today would be the day, but when he settles on the bed, he offers me a guilty smile.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, before scooting up in bed. My back is flush with the headboard, and I tug the sheet to cover my naked body.

  Blue eyes drink me in slowly as if he’s attempting to caress me with merely a glance.

  “My father just called,” he says, “they’re arriving back tonight.”

  “What?” Shock laces my tone as my heartbeat kicks into overdrive. They can’t be back so soon. I have so many questions for my aunt before my mother returns. “They… I need to speak to Mallory before my mother gets here.”


  Damien nods. “I know. I called, and she said we can come by today. I was going to come and wake you, so you can put some clothes on.”

  “Is that it?” I quip, as my chest tightens. After last night, I thought he’d be more affectionate. But Damien is cold this morning, different in the light of day.

  He pushes to his feet, his eyes narrowing on me, and I’m sure he’s going to walk out, but he turns to face me fully, pulling something from his back pocket.

  “That wasn’t it,” he tells me, with an arch in his dark brow. “I want you to wear this.” He hands me a small box. Without thinking, I shift toward him, causing the comforter to fall from my grip and those deep blue depths darken with need. “You’re going to have to behave while our folks are around.”

  “Oh?” I take the box, flicking it open, ignoring his desire-filled stare on my naked breasts. “Damien.” His name is a whisper that tumbles from my lips. “This is exquisite.”

  The thin golden choker has a rose hanging off it. But the gemstone in the center is a deep blue.

  “Nothing can be as devastatingly beautiful as you are,” he responds in a low murmur. “Let me put it on.” I watch his slender fingers lift the delicate necklace from its velvet cushion. Within seconds, it’s unclasped, and I’m kneeling before him with my hair pinned up. Once the cool pendant touches my skin, I can’t stop the shiver that trickles through me.

  His lips find my neck, pressing a heated kiss to the skin, leaving goosebumps in the wake of his warmth. “When they get back,” Damien whispers. “We need to be careful. You’re mine, always and forever, and I need you not to doubt me.”

  Twisting on the bed, I look up at him. His hands reach for my shoulders, massaging them gently, as he lowers his touch to my nipples, which peak at the feather-light whisper of his fingertips.

  “Because we’re forbidden,” I say, my gaze locked on his.

  “Yes. But I want to talk with my father,” he tells me. “If he can understand my feelings, perhaps he’ll allow me to make my own choices.”

  “What about me?”

  “I’m not walking away from you. I’m not leaving here without you,” he affirms. “When I get on that plane to London, you’ll be by my side.”

  “As your sister.”

  “As my girlfriend,” Damien says, shocking me silent. “Last night wasn’t just sex for me, Nesrin. I haven’t felt connected to anyone before. I’ve always been alone, not physically, but mentally, emotionally.”

  “And now?” I ask, unsure of where he’s going. Even though Damien’s given me strength in ways I have never imagined one person could do for another, I’m still scared. He could have any girl out there.

  “Now,” Damien whispers, as his hand reaches for my face, holding it gently, while his thumb swipes over my lips. His gaze burns with desire, regarding me thoughtfully. “Now I’m lost in you.”

  “And if our parents fight us on this?” It’s a question I’ve been wanting to ask for days, since the first time he kissed me. Even though I didn’t think it would go this far, I know I can’t go back now. And I’m sure he can’t either.

  “We will have to cross that bridge when we come to it,” he tells me. “Right now, I need you to get dressed. Mallory wants to see us before the folks get back.” Damien settles on my bed, lying back, with his hands crossed behind his head.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Watching you get dressed,” he informs me as if it’s the most natural thing for him to do. “Once they’re back, our time together will be limited. And I’m not passing up the chance to see your beautiful body naked, as you put your clothes on.”

  “And what makes you think I’d be willing to let you watch me get dressed?” I sass him as I cross my arms over my chest.

  The hungry gaze of the predator burns me, as he takes in my body. “Because you enjoy taunting me, and you can’t deny it, because I know the moment I look at you like this,” he waves his hand toward his expression, “that pretty pussy gets soaking wet.”

  Rolling my eyes, I point at the door. “If you’re not going to be quiet, then you can leave.” A chuckle rumbles in his chest and the smirk he offers me does things to me, but we need to leave. I turn to focus on my clothing choices, instead of Damien’s hungry stare.

  I grab a pair of baby pink tights, along with my denim skirt. A long-sleeved top that matches the color of my leggings, and some underwear, which I hide from Damien’s gaze.

  I rush into the bathroom to get ready. After a quick shower, I moisturize my skin, taking extra care of the scars with some tissue oil, which has helped keep the redness at bay. When I first started doing it, I had spent time researching how to hide my mistakes. I never had anyone to talk to.

  Now I wonder if Damien would be someone who I could confide in. He’s made it clear he wants me, especially after last night. Also, he accepted me for who I am, what I’ve done. He didn’t see my scars as me being a freak, like Xavier did.

  Damien saw my inner turmoil, and he cared for me. He took me gently, giving me the affection I’ve craved for so long. But it’s not only the physical part of it, it’s the emotional freedom he’s offered.

  By the time I reach the bedroom again, Damien is standing at the window, looking out over the garden. He turns his head, his eyes sweeping over me appreciatively, as he takes in my outfit.

  “Cute,” he says, with the corner of his mouth ticking up. “Like the pink on you, makes you look sweet and innocent.”

  “I am sweet and innocent,” I bite out, causing him to chuckle at my retort. But all he does is shake his head in response. “Can we go?” I pick up my purse and spin on my heel, heading for the door.

  34

  Nesrin

  The drive to the Haven manor is silent. I’m not sure why I’m nervous, but I am. Although my mind is on my mother returning from her month-long honeymoon, my fear is that Damien is going to break things off.

  The anxiety is winding in my stomach, and my breath comes out in short spurts as I try to calm myself. It’s at times like this, I feel young. Like a stupid teenager with a crush on a man far too old for her.

  He kills the engine, then turns to me. “Hey.” Damien takes my hand, brings it to his lips, and presses a kiss to my knuckles. “It’s all going to work out,” he tells me, and as much as I want to believe him, I’m still fearful.

  Nodding, I offer him a weak smile, and we both exit his Camaro. He doesn’t take my hand as we walk up to the door, and I know he’s trying to play the big brother role.

  The moment it swings open, we’re met with the maid who gives us a smile and steps aside to allow us in.

  “There’s my girl,” Mallory coos, as she glides through the entrance foyer from where the kitchen and back of the house are hidden. Dressed in a long, flowery gown, I can’t help but wonder who this woman is.

  Most of my life, she’s been the only person I could talk to when she was around. Flakey at best, my aunt wasn’t always responsible, and I know that’s why mom and her would fight non-stop when she visited.

  “Mallory,” I respond, as she pulls me into her arms. The scent of her perfume invades my senses. She’s like a stranger to me. I don’t know why on earth she’d be so different to how she normally is, but it’s clear that living in a castle has taken hold of her and changed her.

  “Come, let’s sit down and catch up.” She lifts her gaze behind me. “You too, Damien. It’s nice to have you here.”

  We follow her through the house, and I notice just how different it looks in the light of day. When I was last here, it felt eerie, haunted, but now that the sun is streaming through, it’s exquisite.

  Seating ourselves in the dining room, I settle beside Damien, as Mallory sits opposite us. She’s had coffee put out as well as a plate with sweet treats, which I really want to try, but I don’t reach for them; instead, I focus on her.

  “Why didn’t you tell me about this? When you were at the reception.”

  My question stills her,
for a moment, before she waves her hand in the air as if it’s nothing. “I didn’t want to upstage your mother’s perfect day.” Guilt flashes in her gaze, but it’s gone within a second, and I’m left more confused than ever.

  “But you could have called. This is big news. And it’s exciting.” I try to sound light-hearted, but there’s a hint of heartbreak in my voice when I speak.

  She’s been the one woman who’s always given me every ounce of respect, treating me like an equal. But for her not to share something, as major as this, hurts.

  “Listen to me, Poppet,” she says, but she doesn’t look me in the eye. “There are so many things that I’ve tried to live with, but your mother’s judgement, over the years, has made me wary of sharing anything with her. Or you.”

  “I would never—”

  “I know. I didn’t mean you would judge me. We’ve been so close, but… I just needed something for me.” This time, she does meet my gaze, and I notice the tears that shimmer in those familiar eyes. “You’ll understand when you fall in love,” she tells me, sweeping her gaze over Damien, for an instant, before looking back at me. “Anyway. Tell me how you’re loving Thorne Haven. And let’s have some coffee.” The serious part of the conversation is over. And I know I’m not going to get anything more out of her now.

  So, instead of pushing like my mother would, I smile and nod.

  An hour later, we’re back home, and I’m still not confident that Mallory was being honest about her living here, or even why she didn’t feel the need to tell me.

  Her excuse was weak. But the thought of what’s going to happen tonight has my mind playing out scenarios that aren’t helping my anxiety. My focus is on Damien, the moment we walk into the house. In the entrance foyer, we spy suitcases, shopping bags, and shoes, which seem to have been thrown haphazardly on the expensive marble tiles.