“I do what needs to be done.” Chagrined, she bit out the words defensively.
“Uh-huh,” Cash said, “I’ve noticed.”
“Are you going to hold me like this all day, or put me up on the horse?”
Cash grinned, a quick flash brightening his dark indigo eyes. “Well now, I could carry you all the way to Ben’s. You weigh hardly more than a feather, but it would be faster up on Queen.”
He swung her up onto his horse, then without hesitation, mounted the horse behind her. “Hold on tight.”
She grabbed the saddle horn just as Cash’s hand came around to her middle. “I’ve got you. You ready?” he asked, but didn’t wait for her response. He nudged the mare and she took off at a fast trot.
Jenna braced herself. She hadn’t been this close to Cash, well, since she’d thought he was Blue Montgomery. But she felt him, his presence and the strength of him from behind. She wanted to lean back against him and relinquish all of her burdens in the power of his body. She wanted to let loose her concern over Ben and what possibly could be wrong. She wanted to let Cash take care of things, but she didn’t dare, for all the reasons she summoned up at night when sleep wouldn’t take her.
“I wouldn’t worry too much, Jenna. Antonio didn’t seem overly concerned. I doubt it’s anything serious.”
He’d spoken again as though he’d read her thoughts. She turned to him, her face so close to his, her heart pounding hard inside her chest. “I hope you’re right.”
“Bet on it.”
“Cash!”
He grunted. “Oh, um, count on it,” he said, nodding his head, with a twinkle in his eyes.
Jenna suppressed a smile, but she did lean back and as she allowed herself the comfort of Cash’s body, his hold on her tightened a bit. For just a few minutes, she told herself, she’d indulge in the fantasy that Cash cared for her. That he was a man she could rely on, a man she could trust.
“I’m gonna be dreaming about this,” he whispered into her ear, his breath a warm caress along her throat, “all night long.”
She almost replied back, “Me, too.”
Instead, Jenna leaned more heavily into him and was gratified when Cash brought her fully up against his chest with a deep guttural groan. Jenna knew she played with fire now, but the indulgence was too tempting, the solid feel of Cash too appealing.
They were close to Ben’s house and Jenna understood these precious moments would be lost forever, so she didn’t berate herself. She relished this strange, beautiful time with Cash Callahan, gambler, because soon he would be gone.
Chapter Eleven
“It’s my birthday?” Jenna appeared stunned as she stood just inside Ben and Rosalinda’s home.
“Sí, querida. We did not forget.” Rosalinda grasped Jenna’s hands. “Today you are twenty-one.”
A look of pure joy passed between them as Jenna faced both Ben and Rosalinda. There was no mistaking it—the glow of happiness beamed on all their faces.
“Happy birthday, Miss Jenna,” Antonio said, his black eyes gleaming with tenderness. He approached and placed a kiss on her cheek. Dark and bronzed, Antonio resembled his mother more than he did Ben. “We will celebrate. Mama has made you a feast.”
Jenna took in the scene, her eyes misting up with tears as she glanced at the table filled with all of her favorite foods. “Oh, this is so…so—”
“We’re having a party, Miss Jenna, and you’re the guest of honor tonight.” Ben sat on a chair with his leg bandaged and propped up on a wooden crate.
Three farmhands entered, taking off their hats and smiling, their eyes wandering over to the platters of food Rosalinda had set out.
“Thank you all. I… I didn’t know. I didn’t remember.” She turned to him with suspicious eyes.
Cash shook his head. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t know, either.” Cash sent Rosalinda and Ben a look. “Seems like they kept both of us in the dark.”
“Well now, Cash. We, uh, know that Miss Jenna’s got a way about her. If we’d have told you about it, then she would’ve gotten real suspicious,” Ben said in earnest. “Might have spoiled the surprise.”
Jenna hugged both Ben and Rosalinda. “This is so thoughtful. I don’t know what to say.”
“You are like my very own daughter, mi corazon. It is a joy to have this celebration for you. Come, let’s eat,” Rosalinda offered, gesturing with a wave of her hand. “We will take our food outside. It is very hot, no? Let’s sit under the shade of the trees.”
Thirty minutes later, after filling his belly with a variety of foods from Rosalinda’s famous tamales to Ben’s favorite, potato pudding, Cash stood and stretched, then walked over to sit beside Ben on a bench. One of the farmhands had taken up a fiddle and the dancing had begun.
Cash peered at Jenna moving with fluid grace and agility as she and Antonio twirled around the yard, her face rosy from exhilaration, filled with joy.
Cash lit a cheroot and glanced out to the newly cultivated open field that waited patiently for the seeds it would nourish, for the climb of grain to reach heavenward and flourish. He couldn’t watch Jenna another second. He couldn’t see the woman who had almost been his, but for a dreadful twist of fate. He had to leave and sooner rather than later. If only he could ensure her safety.
Then he’d leave her.
And both could go back to their own way of life.
When the music stopped, he glanced at Ben. “How’s the leg?”
“Coming along. I gotta thank you again, for taking care with me the other day. The doc in Goose Creek said you did a good job. He patched me up and said I’ll be good as new, but looks like I’m gonna need a cane for a time. No plowing up the fields just yet, he said.”
“Jenna’s been fretting over you for days.”
Ben smiled. “I know it. She’s always been a special one. We’d like to see her happy again.”
Cash nodded, tossing his cheroot down, then making sure to stomp on the flame. He had nothing to do with Jenna’s happiness. Nothing. Even if he knew how to make her happy, she’d never allow it.
“You enjoying yourself?” Ben asked, shifting his weight in the chair. The movement seemed awkward and Cash noted a slash of pain cross his face.
“What’s not to enjoy? Good food, good music.”
“I ain’t seen you dance with the birthday gal.”
“I’m not one for dancing, Ben.”
“Not even with Miss Jenna?”
Especially with Jenna, Cash thought. If Ben only knew the notions filling his head about what else he’d like to do with her, he wouldn’t be encouraging Cash to take her into his arms.
Riding double with her on Queen tested his limits of willpower. But at least one good thing came from that ride. Cash had held Jenna around the middle and as far as he could tell, her body hadn’t changed. He should feel more relieved that Jenna wasn’t with child, but oddly, he wasn’t.
“Not even with Jenna,” he replied hastily. “Besides, Antonio seems to be dominating her time.”
Ben arched a brow. “She’s like a sister to him, Cash. I recall them two forever getting lost in the wheat way back, when they were so small the grain could cover them up. They surely enjoyed hiding from me. Thought it was real funny.”
Cash laughed, picturing it in his mind. Little blond Jenna let loose in the stalks of grain, giggling and hiding, playing silly games. She belonged here on her farm. It was the only life she had ever known. And who better to share a life with than her childhood friend? “You think one day he’ll stop thinking of her as a big sister?”
Ben shook his head. “No, I don’t. Although Rosie and me, we’d pray for it if we thought it possible.”
“Why not?”
“Antonio has a gal. Well, at least my boy has a gal in mind. Marcie Bender. Only old man Bender won’t allow him to court her.”
“Got any idea why that is?”
Ben rubbed his whiskers. “He says she’s too young to go courting, but my guess is, he
doesn’t want his gal hooking up with a dirt-poor farmer. Bender owns the most prosperous farm around these parts. He’s got five times the land and all the workers he needs to make a good profit.”
“What about the girl? She feel the same way Antonio does?”
Ben nodded, glancing at his son, who was sipping lemonade with Jenna. “He says the father is all that’s stopping them. Antonio is real upset. Hell, it burns me that Bender is keeping him from his happiness.”
Cash took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Doesn’t seem fair, does it?”
“Nope.”
They stood in silence for a time then Ben asked, “What about you? You hear anything about the men after you?”
Cash shook his head. “Not one thing.”
“Do you think Miss Jenna is still in danger?”
Cash rubbed tension from his neck. It was all he had been thinking about lately. “I don’t rightly know. I’ve got a friend I can wire to find out. It’s time I do. I’m heading into Goose Creek tomorrow. I’ve got to know if the Wendells have moved on. Think you can send Antonio over to Jenna’s to check in on her while I’m gone?”
“Sure thing. We’ll take care of Miss Jenna.” Ben pursed his lips, then slanted him a look. “You that anxious to move off the farm?”
Cash stared straight at Jenna. She’d stopped talking and stared back, her face flushed, her tawny eyes so bright and beautiful. “Yeah, I’m that anxious to move on.”
Jenna helped Rosalinda put the food away when all the commotion had died down. The men were out by the barn talking and having a smoke. “It was a lovely surprise, Rosa,” she said. “Thank you again.”
Rosalinda smiled as she wrapped a dish of leftover tamales for Jenna. “I am glad you are pleased. Here, have these for tomorrow. You only have to heat them.”
“Oh, heavens. I can’t think about eating again. I’m just about stuffed. But tomorrow is another day. I don’t doubt that Cash and I will finish these all up.”
“That is good. You are too thin, I think. So, how is it for you, querida, having him so close?”
Jenna shrugged and slumped into the kitchen chair. “Cash? It’s working out, I suppose. He’ll be leaving soon, I’m sure.”
“How do you know?”
“I see it in his eyes, Rosa. He’s restless, like all gamblers. He can’t wait to leave.”
“Hmmm, maybe what you see in his eyes is not what you think.”
“I try not to think about him at all,” Jenna said firmly, but the words rang false. Cash had managed to take up space in her mind since the moment he’d arrived, asking to help out on the farm. “He’s not staying and…and… I don’t want him to.”
Rosalinda patted her hand. “I see. Sit here, I have something for you.” And when Rosalinda returned offering up a delicately crocheted mantilla, Jenna had no words. “This is for your birthday.”
Tears stung Jenna’s eyes. She examined the shiny black shawl, designed in an intricate pattern, with fingers that trembled. “Oh, my.”
“It is not to make you cry.”
Jenna giggled, wiping moisture from her eyes. “They are tears of happiness. This is so beautiful. And you made this?”
“Sí, I have been secretly working on it.”
Jenna stood and wrapped her arms around Rosalinda’s shoulders. “Thank you so much.”
“You will make use of it?” Rosalinda asked.
“I hope to, one day.”
“Perhaps you may use it to warm a baby?” Rosalinda’s dark eyebrows lifted in expectation.
Jenna’s hand flew to her belly. At one point Jenna had thought it possible, but no longer. She would never have the family she’d wanted so desperately. “No, Rosa. I’m not with child.”
“No? Are you certain?”
“Yes, pretty much. I will share a secret with you. I wished it so for a time. I want someone to love, and a child’s love is a great thing to have. I’ve always dreamed of having a family. But it is not to be.”
“Jenna, you do not know that. One day, perhaps.”
Jenna’s heart took a steep tumble. “No, I think not.”
Rosa kissed her cheek. “It is in God’s hands now. Have faith. You will see. It will all work out.”
The ride home was uneventful. Cash spoke little and Jenna was content to enjoy the quiet of the evening. The heat of the day brought a balmy night filled with many stars. Jenna gazed up from time to time, finding shapes in the sparkling lights above.
It was a good way to pass the time; relishing the sense of peace Jenna felt tonight. The tension from earlier with Cash was all but gone. He held her loosely now and there were no endearments, no words that made her heart trip over itself.
Once they reached Twin Oaks, Cash said a cordial good-night to Jenna and she made her way into the house, hugging to her breast the lovely mantilla Rosalinda had crocheted for her. Jenna climbed the stairs and entered her dark bedroom. She lit a lantern quickly and the room took on a soft glow. Jenna sighed with delight as she placed the lovely mantilla over the golden dress and both now adorned the mirror.
I want to see it on you. Just once.
Jenna hesitated, taking a step back and thinking hard as Cash’s words came back to torment her. Had she been unfair in not abiding his wishes? She could try on the dress and show him, then be done with it. But Jenna couldn’t bring herself to do it.
“No. I don’t dare,” she whispered. The dress represented all that Jenna abhorred. Maybe it wasn’t fair of her to place such a burden on something so lovely, but Jenna just couldn’t bear the thought of wearing it. To do so perhaps meant that she would be giving up more than she would be gaining.
How had her life gotten so complicated?
She thought to dress for bed, but with the excitement of the day, she realized she just wasn’t tired. She picked up her cat from atop the bed and cradled her in her arms. “Come on, Button. Let’s go count us some more stars.”
Once outside, Jenna sat on the porch chair, stroking Button’s fine coat. “It’s much cooler out here.”
Button purred, enjoying the attention, the peace. Suddenly, Scrappy burst out from the barn, traveling fast and barreling over to her, his tail wagging, begging for the same such attention. Button screeched and flew out of Jenna’s arms.
“Scrappy!” Cash called for the dog, then cursed quietly when he spotted him nearly on top of Jenna. Button had had enough. She jumped up on the porch rail and watched from her safe perch.
Cash was on the porch instantly. “Tarnation, dog. Get off of her.”
Jenna scratched the dog’s head, not minding his affection. “I don’t mind. He’s a good boy. He just wanted to give me a birthday kiss, right, Scrappy?”
Cash pursed his lips. “Is that what he’s doing?”
“Yep.”
Cash sat down in a chair next to her. Stroking the dog’s coat, he replied, “Well then, can’t say as I blame him.”
Jenna smiled. Cash had charm, she was beginning to discover, and he was good with the animals except, of course, for Larabeth. She still didn’t trust him.
“Can’t sleep?” he asked.
“Didn’t want to, yet. It’s a beautiful night.”
“It’s cooler outside, that’s for darn sure.”
Jenna agreed.
Cash reached deep into his shirt pocket. “I was going to leave these for you in the morning, but since you’re out here,” he said, bringing forth half a dozen yellow and pink ribbons, “Happy birthday.” He placed them into her hand. Soft satin caressed her skin.
“Oh, they’re lovely.”
“You going to keep them?” he asked, his voice bordering on defensive.
Jenna nodded. She couldn’t deny a birthday present from Cash. The insult would hurt him and she’d never set out to do that. “I didn’t think you’d give them to me. I thought you’d changed your mind, or maybe, had someone else to give them to.”
Cash frowned. “There’s no one else, Jenna. I bought the ribbons for yo
u. It’s just that I wasn’t too sure you’d accept them.”
“I made you angry that day, didn’t I?”
Cash stared out into the night sky. “I don’t know any other way to earn a living, Jenna.”
“I think you believe that.”
“I know it, for a fact.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I’ve tried, when I was younger. People took advantage of me.”
“So now you take advantage of them?”
“No. Never. I play fair. I don’t need to cheat anyone. I only bet when the odds are in my favor. That’s the mark of a smart gambler.”
Jenna sensed that Cash needed to say more. He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes after making that pronouncement.
“Who took advantage of you?”
“Lots of people, Jenna. But I can start with Beau Raley. He’s the rancher I told you about.”
“You worked for him?” Jenna asked softly, surprised that she wanted to hear this, surprised that she wanted to help with this heavy burden.
“Not exactly. He adopted me, sort of. You see, when I was a boy, I didn’t always have a place to live, but I tried to always attend school. I fed myself by betting for my schoolmates’ lunches and sometimes I actually won money. But it wouldn’t be too long before the authorities got wind of what I was doing, or someone’s parent complained. I’d run off, going from one small town to another. It was always the same. I lied about having folks and a home to get into school. One day, my luck ran out. I got caught and instead of hauling me off to jail, they found me a place to live. They made it seem as though I was being adopted, but that was far from the truth.
“I lived on that ranch as long as I could take it. I worked hard, but it was never enough. Beau Raley, the man who took me in, was the meanest son-of-a-bitch you’d ever want to know. He beat me on a regular basis.”
Jenna flinched, the cruelty too hard to bear. “He whipped you? But you were just a boy.”
“He didn’t care. If you messed up on his ranch, and sometimes, even if you didn’t, you paid the price.”
“Oh, Cash.”
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