Just as they were taking the last bites of their dessert, Antonio came bursting through the back door, his face shining bright with happiness. “I’m getting married!”
For a moment, they all sat motionless at the table, apparently stunned by the news. Then, as realization dawned, everyone began talking at once.
“Congratulations!”
“When’s the wedding?”
“How’d you pull that off, son?”
“Dios, Antonio. You give your mother a shock.”
“Hey! One at a time,” Antonio pleaded happily.
Antonio shook Cash’s hand. His father gave him a big manly hug and Rosalinda’s eyes misted with tears.
Jenna kissed his cheek. “I’m happy for you. Sit down and tell us all about it. Would you like a piece of cobbler?”
“No, no. I couldn’t eat. I’m too excited.” Antonio took a seat at the table. “I don’t know where to begin. I have been in love with Marcie for a long time. I think I fell in love with her when she threw a rock at me in school. I chased her all around the schoolyard that day and haven’t stopped.”
“Oh, how sweet,” Jenna said, but when she glanced at Rosalinda, the woman had tears flowing down her cheeks. Jenna took her hand. “He’s in love, Rosa.”
“Sí, sí. I know. Can’t a mother be happy for her boy?”
Always pragmatic, Ben took a different approach. “How’d you get old man Bender to come around? He does know about this, doesn’t he, Antonio?”
“Yes, Papa. He wasn’t too happy about allowing Marcie to see me. He’s protective of her. But Marcie had been wearing him down and then, well, thanks to Mr. Callahan and that bet he made, Bender couldn’t go back on his word.” Antonio turned to Cash. “I’ll never forget what you did. Marcie and I, we might name our first child after you.”
“Dios! A child? Are you to be a father so soon?” Rosalinda asked, the news obviously too much for her.
“Mama, no! Of course not. But we would like to have a family one day.”
Jenna squeezed Rosalinda’s hand. “They are young, but they will manage. Don’t worry and when it is time, they will make you and Ben grandparents.”
Antonio laughed. “We need a place first.”
“Will you live on the Bender farm?” Ben asked and Jenna sensed him trying to keep his voice steady. Bender had all the hands he needed, whereas Antonio was an integral part of the success of Twin Oaks.
“No! My place is here. I would like to build a small house, if you will allow me.”
Obviously relieved, Ben smiled. “I’ll help you build it.”
“So will I,” Cash added. “Just tell me where and when. The three of us will have that house up real quick. When’s the wedding?”
“Marcie wants to have the wedding soon. She’s afraid her father will try to change our minds. He is going along with our wishes, but I think he would like to keep his daughter all to himself. He wouldn’t mind if she became an old maid, as long as she lived on the farm.”
Jenna’s heart sank. She was three years older than Marcie. She wondered as time went on, if people would think of her as an unwanted old maid.
Cash caught her in his gaze and narrowed his eyes, questioning her. Jenna couldn’t bear to look at him. She couldn’t bear for him to know how distressed she felt. This should be a happy occasion and Jenna wouldn’t bring everyone’s joy down because of the sorrow she’d experienced. For Antonio’s sake, she plastered on a big smile and glanced at Cash, but he didn’t smile back.
Darn him. Maybe it was time for him to leave Twin Oaks. He was too much a reminder of all that she had lost, of the life she would never have.
And worst of all, he was too good at reading her most private thoughts.
Jenna bid farewell to her guests and as she stood in the yard waving, she sensed Cash watching her from a short distance away. She turned to go back inside the house.
“Jenna, wait.”
She paused, then turned to him with a smile. “It’s such good news about Antonio. I think he will be very happy.”
Cash strode over to her until he was so close their boots nearly touched. He gazed into her eyes. “Don’t, Jenna. Don’t pretend. Not with me.”
“I’m not pretending. I’m happy for Antonio.”
He reached out to touch her cheek. The gentle caress left her wanting more, so much more. “Happiness is not what I see on your face.”
Cash had good instincts. She knew he couldn’t be fooled, but she had little to say to him. She let out a weary sigh. “I’m tired, Cash.”
Anger sparked in his eyes like a cold flash of metal, yet he spoke with tenderness. “Something upset you tonight. Tell me what it was.”
Tears threatened, but Jenna held them back. They never helped and she wasn’t one to give in to self-pity. “No, it’s nothing.”
“Jenna,” Cash laced his tone with impatience, “it’s something.”
Irritation gave way to anger, something Jenna rarely allowed. But this time, perhaps she had a right. “Yes, darn you. It’s something. Okay? Happy to know I’m upset?”
“No, I’m not happy about it. I just want to help.”
Her fury building, spurred by a situation out of her control, Jenna planted her hands on her hips. Wry amusement elevated her voice. “You, of all people, can’t help me.”
“Why not?” he asked, nearly shouting.
“Because…because I want what Marcie and Antonio have, that’s why not! I want someone to share my life with, my farm. I want a family. I’ve prayed and prayed for a family of my own. Don’t you see? I’ll be that old maid Antonio spoke about, an unwanted and unloved woman, who’ll never have a child, never know the joy of being a mother.”
Well, that sure dumbfounded him. Cash opened his mouth to speak, blinked his eyes then clamped his mouth closed. He looked away, off in the distance, a tick working at his jaw. When he turned back to respond, Jenna stormed off, heading for the house. She didn’t want to hear anything Cash Callahan had to say.
It was too hard, feeling as she did. One minute she was hoping for his kisses, the next hoping he would leave the farm. She reminded herself over and over that he wasn’t for her. She knew as soon as he could, he’d go back to gambling. That’s who Cash Callahan was, after all. A gambler.
Jenna wouldn’t forget that again.
Three days later, Cash lay in his makeshift bed up in the loft staring at the ceiling. He tossed and turned in a futile attempt to fall asleep. When that didn’t work, he let out an oath, picked up his boot and tossed it. It landed near two sleepy kittens, barely missing them. With bewildered expressions, they jumped high in the air, the hair on their backs raised. “Ah, hell,” he muttered, reaching over to console the frightened kittens. They went willingly into his arms. “Sorry about that.”
The kittens purred and rubbed their small bodies into him. They’d grown some, Cash noted, marking the time that he had been here.
He’d overstayed his welcome. Yet he couldn’t leave the farm until Ben felt better. Cash knew Ben wouldn’t be of much help building Antonio a small house, but understandably the man wanted to help his son. Cash’s offer to help had been sincere. He’d been happy for Antonio and wanted to help the boy and Ben with the building.
Besides, the danger might still be present. If the Wendells were still in the area searching for him, he had no choice but to stay on at Twin Oaks. He’d weighed his options again, knowing full well it would be better for Jenna if he left. She might have a chance at that future she’d talked about, without him here, stirring up emotions, leaving them both frustrated and confused.
She might find someone to love.
Hell, Cash thought, one thing he knew for sure, he didn’t want to be around to watch that happen. Seeing Jenna smitten with another man would tear his gut in two.
Cash set the kittens aside. He reached for his boots and threw his arms into his shirt. He wasn’t going to get much sleep tonight. Climbing down the loft, he headed for Queen’s stall. �
��Want to go for a fast ride?” he asked, grabbing for Queen’s tack.
She hadn’t been exercised today and Cash was too darn restless to sleep. The ride would do them both good. After saddling her up, he led her out of the barn.
He mounted quietly and lifted his head toward Jenna’s bedroom. The lights were out. She’d never know he was gone. “We’ll make it a short ride,” he said to his mare. Although all indications were that Jenna was safe, he didn’t like chancing leaving her alone at night.
He rode his horse hard, out the gates, past the fields, circling around Turner’s Pond and back. Wind wiped at him, nearly blowing his hat from his head. He bent low, was one with the animal, gliding, racing, pushing Queen faster and faster. The excitement, the exhilaration helped clear his head.
He’d been right. It had been what both needed, a good hard ride.
Jenna had only been asleep a short time when noises from the yard had her snapping her eyes open. She listened carefully. Sounds of commotion, of animals shuffling and anguished cries, seemed to be coming from outside, somewhere.
Jenna rose quickly and dressed, shoving her boots on. She reached under her mattress, pulling out a gun. As she palmed it in her hand, the weapon felt strange. She hadn’t given that gun much thought lately, since Cash had arrived. But for weeks after that awful man had come to claim ownership of Twin Oaks, Jenna had slept with it under her mattress each night.
She raced down the stairs, but was more wary once she stepped out her front door. She listened again and followed the sounds. They seemed to be coming from the sheep pen. Her hands trembling with fear, Jenna tightened her grip on the gun. She moved with cautious deliberation, listening, wincing at the terrible sounds she heard.
She rounded the corner of the barn and froze. A pair of shocking eyes met her gaze. A wolf. Jenna barely contained a scream upon witnessing the wolf’s heinous actions. One sheep was down already and before she’d caught the wolf’s attention, he’d been stalking another. The animals moaned in their way, pressing their innocent bodies as far from their predator as possible.
“Go! Get away!” Jenna pointed the gun, ready to shoot.
The animal turned to face her, his eyes menacing. Slowly, he came toward her, preying upon her as he would any other animal. Everything inside of her went black with fear. Her heart thumped hard, her breathing sped up. She pulled her finger back on the trigger and took her shot.
Nothing.
She tried again.
Nothing.
The wolf made ready to leap the fence, preparing to attack. Jenna cried out and pulled the trigger a third time. Nothing.
The wolf jumped and Jenna stumbled back.
A shot rang out.
Jenna witnessed the animal’s forward progression stop in midair. The wolf’s piercing yelp of pain echoed in the night. Lifelessly, he fell to the ground.
All of the life went out of her as well. She fell onto the hard cold dirt, shaking.
“Jenna!” Cash’s voice, filled with anger, boomed in her ears, causing her to nearly jump out of her skin. He lifted her up hurriedly and carried her into the house.
Chapter Sixteen
Cash placed Jenna, none too gently, on the sofa in the parlor. Noting her body trembling, he tossed her a quilt. “Cover up,” he commanded, then began to pace in front of her.
“Of all the damn fool things to do, Jenna. Don’t you know better than to argue with a wolf?”
The question required no answer. He didn’t look at her, didn’t want to see the stark fear on her face or admit to himself if he’d been one minute later, Jenna would have met with a horrendous death.
Cash paced some more, splaying his hands through his hair, his mind rushing with images of Jenna on the ground, the wolf ready to attack.
One minute later, and he would have lost her.
“You don’t go running into the night with an unloaded gun.”
He continued to pace, staring straight ahead, shaking his head, attempting without much success to tamp down his anger.
“Why didn’t you check the gun, Jenna? Why? Tell me why?”
Her silence mystified him. Jenna usually spoke her mind. When he turned to her, the look of sheer, unbridled terror on her face did him in. Tears spilled down her cheeks, streaming fast and silently. Her whole body shook, shoulders, arms and legs.
Cash let out a quiet curse. “Wait here,” he said, taking his leave. Moments later he entered the parlor, carrying a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He sat down next to her and poured the amber liquid and handed her the glass. “Drink this.” She gulped it down then sputtered. “Whoa. Not so fast. Sip it slowly, sugar.”
“I d-don’t w-want to.” She shoved it away, pushing at his hand.
He pressed it to her lips one more time. “Sip it slowly. You’ll see. It will calm you.”
Jenna stared into his eyes, hers swollen and reddened from tears.
“Trust me,” he said, asking her to do something she’d never done before. After all this time on the farm, he hadn’t gained Jenna’s trust.
Her gaze on him unwavering, she took the offered glass and sipped slowly. He watched the delicate muscles on her throat work as the liquor flowed down smoothly. “Better?”
Jenna nodded, handing him back the glass.
He leaned back and nudged Jenna into his arms. More than anything else, she needed his comfort. She needed to be held and reassured. But, Cash admitted, he, too, needed reassuring. Holding her in his arms meant she was alive and safe. Thinking of what might have happened, of how close she’d come to losing her life, had Cash covering them both with the quilt and tightening his hold. He held her that way for a long time.
Finally, she said, “I t-thought the gun was loaded.”
“No matter. You shouldn’t have faced down the wolf.”
“I didn’t know there was a wolf out there. I heard noises.”
“It’s not for you to go into the night, investigating.”
“Yes,” Jenna said with sadness, “it is my responsibility. This is my farm now. The animals—”
“Wouldn’t survive with you dead. You shouldn’t take such chances with your life.”
“The gambler advising me not to take a chance?”
“That’s different, Jenna. No one would expect you to confront a wolf. Your life is worth more than that.”
“My life doesn’t seem to be worth all that much,” she said.
Cash had never heard her speak with such disillusionment before. Her admission rattled his bones. “Your life is worth everything.”
Jenna snuggled deeper in, seeking his warmth and comfort, it seemed. “Thank you for saying that and for saving my life. You think we’re even now?”
“I still owe you.” He said this without explanation, but he meant it with his whole heart. Jenna had saved his life, but she’d also given him more in the short time he’d known her than she could ever imagine. Cash stroked her head, letting his fingers trail through the softness of her long blond hair. “I faced a wolf once,” he confided.
Jenna lifted her head up slightly, to look into his eyes. He nodded. “I did. I was just a boy.”
“Tell me.”
Cash would offer up the story to Jenna, giving to her a part of himself, a part of his life that he’d never shared with another person. Not only did Cash find the experience cleansing but also he found it more intimate and heartwarming than any sexual favor Jenna might grant him. In Jenna, he’d found a woman he’d wanted in his bed, yes, but he’d also found a friend, someone in whom he could confide and trust with his most personal experiences.
And after he shared his wolf story, Jenna whispered in a voice filled with awe. “You’ve had the most amazing adventures.”
He chuckled and the movement tossed her off his chest. He reclaimed her quickly, pressing her head back to where it had been. Where he wanted her. She snuggled in. “Adventures? Sugar, it’s called survival.”
“I know, but I mean, you have so many stories. Tell me
more, Cash. Tell me all about your childhood.”
Cash let out a breath. He had dead animals outside to tend as well as other chores to do, but nothing on heaven or earth could have torn him away from Jenna at the moment. He adjusted his hold on her and began sharing stories of his youth. And in the telling he found the only real healing of his childhood, Cash had ever known.
The next weeks flew by for Jenna as preparations were made for Antonio and Marcie’s wedding. Elias Bender had finally come around, agreeing to have the marriage take place on his farm. It was to be the biggest shindig the town of Goodwill had ever seen.
Cash and Ben spent most of their free time with Antonio, helping him build a small cabin on a plot of land not too far from Ben’s house. Jenna saw little of any of them. Her time was spent doing daily chores: milking Larabeth, mucking out the barn, collecting eggs from the henhouse and slopping the hogs.
On occasion, she’d make up a lunchtime meal and deliver her baskets to the men working on Antonio’s house. They ate heartily, but their minds were on their work and Jenna didn’t want to intrude. It warmed her heart to see Cash getting along so well with Ben. The two men seemed to have struck up a friendship and Antonio just plain thought the sun rose and set on Cash’s shoulders.
Jenna understood her young friend’s fascination with Cash. What she didn’t fathom was her own. She’d convinced herself that Cash Callahan, gambler, wasn’t worth the time of day. She’d thought him a callous, calculating man who had used her in a terrible way. He ruined her life. He took away her future. At one time, she’d hated him.
But no longer.
Her feelings for him ran deep, so much so that the stirrings in her heart frightened her. She’d tried to deny them, tried to will them away, yet feelings so strong weren’t easy to ignore.
But Jenna had to try. So rather than think about all that Cash had been through in his life, all the heart-wrenching stories he’d confided in her in the name of survival, she’d set her concentration on the wedding. The excitement had become contagious. Jenna poured her efforts into helping Rosalinda with some surprises for Antonio and his new wife. Today after completing her chores, she’d spent time helping Rosalinda make a mattress for the newlyweds. Once the fabric was sewn, they took dried corn husks, cut them up into smaller pieces, then soaked them. When they had dried and were a bit softer she and Rosalinda stuffed the mattress. “A good strong bed and two loving souls is what makes a marriage,” Rosalinda had said.
Charlene Sands Page 17