Charlene Sands

by Winning Jennas Heart

  Cash had to see to it. He couldn’t abide living, knowing the devastation he’d caused her. And he knew of only one way to earn the money for Jenna. He’d always been a survivor. This time, his life and his heart depended solely on one thing.

  His skills as a gambler.

  Jenna came to him then, as quietly as a spirit, her footsteps no longer careful as she treaded over the land. Tears filled her eyes. Cash could tell she tried not to cry, but he saw the moisture welling up. And as the morning sunshine shed light over the fields, Jenna gazed out to what was once her future.

  Her expression faltered. On her face, Cash read bleakness and loss of all faith. He witnessed her anguish, the pain darkening her golden eyes, and it tore at him as nothing else ever had.

  She took his hand. Cash wondered why she’d even want to touch him, why she’d need him now, when both knew he’d brought this upon her. Yet he held her, because to let go would truly destroy him.

  They stood together in the fields, hands entwined, quiet and somber. Cash made a solemn vow then, to make this right.

  Even if it meant losing Jenna in the end.

  The next day, Jenna stood on the porch, saying goodbye to her brother. “Are you sure, Bobby Joe? You could stay on a while longer.”

  “I’m sure, Jenna. Thanks for fixing me up.”

  Jenna smiled with sadness in her heart. “I should thank you. We all might have died if you hadn’t come to warn me.”

  Bobby Joe shook his head as he looked at the smoke still rising up from the barn. “I was too late for some things.”

  “But not for others,” she said.

  “No, not for others.” Bobby Joe took a wobbly step, his leg still wrapped with bandages. He caught sight of Cash, out by the barn. “You love him, Jen?”

  Jenna turned in the direction of the barn. Cash was shoveling dirt on the low-lying embers still smoldering. “I think I do.”

  “I only hope he doesn’t break your heart.”

  “I don’t believe he will, Bobby Joe,” Jenna said in earnest. Through all the bleakness, the loss of her farm, Jenna had gained perhaps one good thing. Her hope. She believed in Cash Callahan. She loved him. She never thought she’d ever feel hope or love again, but he’d shown her how to live, not merely exist.

  “Bobby Joe, I wish you’d stay on a while,” she said, realizing how much she’d like to get to know her brother again.

  “Jenna, I’m not a farmer. I’m a gambler. There’s no changing that. We don’t stay in one place long. Gambling’s in our blood. It’s all we know, all we want to know.”

  Jenna nodded, trying hard to understand.

  “I’ll try to send you money for the farm. Can’t promise anything, though. All depends on how my luck’s running. I’m sorry, Jen,” he said, his eyes meeting hers. Jenna believed him. Perhaps her brother had learned a thing or two; perhaps he’d grown up a little bit as well. “I’m sorry for everything.”

  “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll write and I might even come back one day, but Jen, I hope you understand why I can’t stay on.”

  “I’m trying to, Bobby Joe.” Jenna curved her lips up, trying for a smile. “You take care of that leg now.”

  “I will.” Bobby Joe kissed her on the cheek, then mounted his horse and rode off Twin Oaks property.

  The following morning, Jenna set out a mug of coffee for Cash. He sat down at the kitchen table, taking a sip, but he didn’t touch his food. He’d been quiet lately, spending his time with Ben, assessing the damages to the farm, hardly speaking to her, though at night, he’d hold her in his arms and try to reassure her with soft words. They’d been through a lot together, but Jenna had never seen him so deep in thought, so completely absorbed before.

  “Cash? Aren’t you hungry?”

  He lifted his head up and sighed deeply. “I’ve got something to say, Jenna. And I’d like you to hear me out.”

  Jenna’s heart nearly stopped from his tone. All she could do was to give him a slight nod of her head.

  “I figure you can’t make it through the winter without the crop.”

  “Maybe, if we—”

  “No, Jenna. I’ve been talking to Ben. I know where you stand. You’re not going to make it. Now, I figure I’ve got the means to make a lot of money. I’m the only one who can set this all to rights.”

  Dread crept in, an overwhelming sensation, attacking her insides, creating fear and doubt. “What do you plan to do?” she asked, her voice raspy.

  “The only thing I know to do, Jenna. I’m going back to Texas. I’m going to make you enough money to get this farm going again.”

  Jenna bolted out of her chair. “No!”

  Cash stood, too, bracing his hands on the table, leaning in. “My mind is made up. I’m leaving.”

  Jenna laughed, an eerie sound of wry amusement. “Just a few nights ago, you said you’d never leave me, Cash. Is that all your word’s good for?”

  Cash inhaled sharply, his body rigid. “Jenna, that was before your farm was destroyed. I can’t live with that. I can’t let you lose everything you worked for, because of me. I’m responsible and I’m going to make it right.”

  “You’re going off to gamble, Cash. That’s what got you in trouble first off. No good comes from gambling.”

  “It’s all I know how to do, Jenna.”

  “That’s not true. You know how to farm this land, Cash. I’ve watched you. And you’re good with the animals. Larabeth favors you over me now. You do know more than gambling.”

  “You need money for the farm. None of those things are going to make a difference if you can’t make it through the winter,” he argued, his voice as determined as ever.

  “What if I won’t accept the money?”

  Cash cursed. “Dammit, Jenna. You’d let your stubborn pride get in the way of rebuilding your farm? What about Rosalinda and Ben? It’s their farm, too. I owe this to all of you. You won’t change my mind.”

  Cash was right. She couldn’t allow her stubborn notions to ruin Ben and Rosalinda’s life. Winter would be cold and hard if they didn’t do something, but gambling still wasn’t the answer. “There are other ways,” she said.

  “What other ways, Jenna? Tell me.”

  She couldn’t think, her mind sifting through thoughts rushing in, but nothing came to her. “There must be other ways. I know there must be.”

  “This is one time your faith fails you, Jenna. I have to be practical minded. I can make enough money to see you through the winter.”

  Jenna swallowed, her arguments futile. Cash really would leave her. “How long will you be gone?”

  He let out his breath slowly, perhaps as a sign that she’d conceded. “A month, maybe two.”

  Jenna turned away from him, her eyes misting up with tears. Bobby Joe’s words came back to torment her, a haunting reminder of what Jenna had known all along.

  We don’t stay in one place long. Gambling’s in our blood.

  Bobby Joe had also claimed that once a gambler, always a gambler. “There’s no changing that,” he’d said.

  Jenna knew that truth from the beginning. Foolishly, she’d thought Cash had changed and now she knew differently. Hope had come back into her life, for just a short time, but now Jenna felt empty inside.

  Jenna knew Cash wouldn’t come back. She had no doubt he’d send money. He’d do the responsible thing. But he thought of himself as a gambler, not a farmer, just like Bobby Joe. He’d return to the only way of life he’d known, the farm and the time they shared together being only a shallow memory in Cash’s mind.

  He came close to stand behind her. Gently, he grabbed her shoulders and whispered in her ear as though he could read her thoughts. “I’ll be back, Jenna. I swear. And you’ll have your farm.”

  Jenna closed her eyes. Cash had been right about one other thing. Her faith had failed her. She didn’t know if she could trust his word. With Cash gone, she’d have nothing left, no hope and no dreams for the future. “When will you le
ave?”

  “Later this morning. I’ve spoken to Ben. He knows. He’s going to watch out for you, like always, sweetheart, but the danger has passed. You’ll do fine.”

  Jenna turned to look him in the eyes, her stomach churning and her mind filled with grief. “You think you’re doing the right thing, Cash. But I know there are other ways. You just won’t see it. And yes, I’ll do fine. I guess I’m a survivor, just like you, Cash Callahan.”

  Cash blinked hard, staring into her eyes. When he bent his head, Jenna knew she couldn’t deny herself his kiss. His lips took hers, the familiar taste and feel of him a bleak reminder of all that she had lost. “I’ll be back,” he vowed, then took his leave.

  Jenna slumped into the kitchen chair, her body limp, her heart aching. Losing the wheat crop she could deal with, but losing Cash was more painful than she could ever have imagined.

  Cash reached the town of Blackwater in three days. Familiar surroundings and a friendly face, just the balm he needed now. He’d pushed Queen to her limit, each mile that took him off the farm harder and harder to handle. His thoughts were of Jenna and only Jenna. He’d never forget the look on her face when he’d ridden off. She wasn’t one to hide her emotions, and what he read on her face spoke of doubt and fear. Jenna doubted him. She didn’t trust him. She didn’t believe he’d return. He’d seen all of that on her face, and so much more. He’d seen disappointment. He’d seen her hopes shattered. Cash had been so bent on getting her the money she needed to rebuild her farm, he’d ignored what Jenna truly wanted.

  What she’d always wanted.

  She hadn’t asked for much, just someone to love, a partner to help raise a family, work the farm and share her dreams. That’s what she really needed.

  Cash’s words to Jenna silently screamed inside his head, hitting him hard with the truth.

  All of life is a gamble with the choices we make.

  Cash reined in his mount with those thoughts close at hand. He tied Queen to the post and entered The Palace saloon, taking off his hat.

  Louella greeted him with her usual coy smile. “Hello, handsome. Glad to see you back again. There’s a game just starting. You’re in as soon as you take everything off.”

  Cash stood there, his mind reeling as notions entered his head. Ideas that stuck with him and wouldn’t let go. He realized then that Jenna had been right. There were other ways. Grinning at Louella, he unfastened his gun belt and handed it to her. As he sat down at the table, dawning knowledge gripped him tight, a clear vivid picture of what he was going to do. He lifted his gaze to meet hers. “Just a meal, Louella. That’s all I came for.”

  With eyebrows raised, Louella nodded. “Guess that tells all, Cash.”

  “Yep, it sure does,” he said, unable to keep a big smile from his face.

  And right then, Cash Callahan knew he’d made the right choice.

  Jenna sat in the kitchen, staring at the bowl of stew before her. She wasn’t a bit hungry, but lifted the spoon to her mouth because she knew she had to eat. In the week that Cash had been gone, mealtime had become real lonely. She missed Cash, plain and simple. There was no use denying it.

  Ben and Rosalinda had been so sweet, worrying over her, asking her to supper. Jenna had to get used to being alone again, so she didn’t accept their offers. Still, Ben paid her a visit every day, frowning at her when she refused his help.

  Jenna had always made do. Just like Cash, she’d always found a way to survive. Only, this time, pure loneliness ate at her, sapping her will. She had only Cash’s word to bank on that he’d return. Did she have enough faith in him? The man she loved was a gambler. He hadn’t changed and she could never hope to have him love farming the way she did.

  When trouble settled on the farm, he’d turned to gambling, as he always had in the past. He wouldn’t even consider another option. Cash knew only one way of dealing with life and that was by gambling.

  She had no doubt Cash would bring the money they needed to the farm. He was a man of talent and determination. But what then? Dare she hope he would stay on? When would he tire of the farm and of her?

  “Stop driving yourself crazy, Jenna,” she said, taking her plate to the washbasin. She glanced out the window, watching Scrappy bark and jump at Button. Her confident feline just stared at the dog, before lifting her head in regal fashion, then sauntering away. Scrappy flopped onto the ground, his black face in a pout, resting on his paws. But instantly, he lifted his head, tail wagging, bounding up and raced down the path.

  Jenna spotted a man, making his way under the twin oaks, heading toward the house. “Cash!”

  She untied her apron, flinging it and racing out the door. He was on foot, and Jenna’s mind muddled with worrisome thoughts. Had something happened to him? Was he injured? Where was Queen?

  Scrappy reached him first. He bent to scratch his dog’s head, then lifted up when she approached.

  “Cash,” she said breathlessly.

  “Damn, Jenna. You get more beautiful every time I see you.” He walked over to her and took her hands in his. “Come here and kiss me. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for the last five miles.”

  Jenna flowed into his arms. Warm lips, gentle, yet rooted in passion, took hers in a thorough kiss that nearly buckled her knees. She pulled away a bit, gazing up at him. “Cash, why are you on foot? Are you hurt?” She searched him for signs of injury. “Where’s Queen?”

  Cash laughed, taking her hand and tugging her toward the house. “Come on. Let’s get home. I’ll tell you everything.”

  Once inside the house, Cash emptied his pockets. Bills and silver coins hit the kitchen table. Jenna stared at the money.

  “I made it to Blackwater, Jenna. I stood there, looking at my life at those gaming tables and knew that what I had here with you was worth so much more than that. I didn’t sit down at those tables, Jenna. I couldn’t. I wanted more for you. I wanted your respect…and trust.”

  Jenna’s heart filled with joy, hearing Cash’s admission that he hadn’t gambled. He’d come back to her and hadn’t gambled, but she remained puzzled. “Where did the money come from?”

  Cash rubbed his chin. “Bender. I sold him my horse and saddle.”

  “You sold Queen?” Jenna couldn’t believe he’d done it, but Cash’s firm nod and gleaming eyes told her he’d spoken the truth.

  “Got nearly three hundred dollars and the old guy made me promise I wouldn’t bet him for anything ever again.”

  Jenna chuckled. “Oh, Cash.”

  “This is enough to see us through the bad times, Jenna. But listen, I have an idea. When we were at Antonio’s wedding, I heard talk. There’s a new seed coming from the other side of the world. Winter wheat seed, Jenna, called Turkey Red. Bender’s going to give it a try and I figure we will, too. We’ll plant seeds this fall and harvest in the winter. Bender’s going to let us know how to get our hands on it.”

  Jenna’s heart overflowed with love. Cash had found a way. He’d turned his back on gambling, for her, for them both. He’d come back to her with a plan for the farm. She dared to ask, “Does that mean you’re staying on?”

  Cash took her hand and the look in his dark indigo eyes stole her heart. “Jenna, I’ve never had a real home until I met you. You…you’re my home. I’m asking you to do something for me, sweetheart. I’m asking you to gamble one time only.”

  “You want me to gamble?” she asked, her mind filled so crazily with love that she couldn’t comprehend, didn’t know what he was saying.

  “Yep. I want you to gamble that I’ll stay on here at Twin Oaks. I want you to gamble that I’ll be a good husband, for real this time, and a good father for our children. I love you, Jenna, with everything inside, everything I’ve got to give. I’m asking you to take the biggest gamble of your life. I’m asking you to bet on me.”

  Jenna thought of the boy, orphaned at a young age, having to invent ways to survive. She’d thought of the man whose life she’d saved. The man who’d never left a plate
empty, but garnished it with a flower, a show of gratitude for a meal. She thought of the man, who had worked so diligently in the fields, claiming not to be a farmer, yet displaying those traits each and every day. She thought that she’d known love from words across a page with a man she hadn’t met. But now she knew love differently; by working alongside of a man, toiling until the day becomes night and learning his heart and soul, knowing all his faults and still wanting him desperately. That was the true and full measure of love.

  Jenna smiled, thinking of the bright future ahead. The future she’d always wanted. She had only one word, one reply for the man who held her heart. “Yes.”

  And she knew, it wasn’t a gamble at all.

  But a dream come true.

  Epilogue

  The setting sun cast one last glow across the fields, a beam of light falling onto golden grain, rising up waist-high, as bountiful as it was beautiful. Three children played silly games of hide-and-seek within its boundaries, giggling joyously as a gentle southerly breeze bent the tall stalks ever so slightly. A man and woman stood upon the land, their hands entwined, a mangy dog and regal feline at their feet. Their gazes flowed over the fields then focused together on two oaks, steady and sure, with branches bending, connecting so fiercely that no force of nature would ever part them. And their resilient leaves kissed one another, tenderly, heartily in a caress that would go unequaled.

  Always.

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-0935-3

  WINNING JENNA’S HEART

  Copyright © 2003 by Charlene Swink

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.