“No, he likes the way things are.”
“You can’t be with two guys this way. I mean, if you were just dating, it would okay, but you’re having sex with both of them. That’s wrong.”
“I know, Wendy! It’s just…he is so…. Oh, Lord.”
“Who? Toby?”
“No, the other one. The way he uses his—”
I held up my hands. “Stop right there! I don’t want details. You need to take a few days and really think things over. Toby’s going to find out, and when he does, he’s going to flip out and want to kill this guy.”
“I’ve thought about this. It’s just…Toby is so safe. I love him to pieces. But with…I feel so alive. The things we do, um….” She drank her hot chocolate.
“You can trust me, Pamela. I won’t tell anyone. Not even Pete.” I wasn’t sure if I could keep that promise when it came to him, but I would try.
“That means a lot. I wish I could tell Susie, but she has such a big mouth. I can’t tell the other girls. They’re all gossips.”
“Why don’t you take the long weekend to think things over? You should stay away from Toby and your mystery lover.” It killed me not knowing who she was screwing around with.
“I’ll try. But he calls me all the time and begs to see me. I go running to him each and every time.”
“Pam—”
The front door opened, interrupting us. The rest of the Collins’ clan had returned.
She wiped her eyes and left the kitchen.
The sounds of greetings and embracing reached my ears. I sat there, tapping my fingers on the tabletop. I felt horrible for Pam, even though she was in the wrong. All I could think about was myself and what if I’d let Dylan pull me into the janitor’s closet like he’d wanted to. I would’ve been in the same situation as Pam. I’m so happy I didn’t.
Pete was all I needed and not some random guy who could give me a thrill like Pam had with this secret man of hers. But still, the main question remained. Who could it be?
***
I kept my promise and didn’t say anything to Pete. I guess it was a good thing he was gone for those four days because it ate me up inside not being able to tell anyone what I knew. I called Pam over the next few days. Again she wouldn’t return my calls. I think she was ashamed. If I were in her shoes, I’d feel the same way.
There was one person I could talk to who was very aware of the current situation. I tried to talk myself out of it, but that little voice inside my head that made me do stupid things sometimes whispered in my ear. Since I couldn’t tell Pete, and anyone else was out of the question, Dylan was the only one left.
I had to be careful. Because Dylan was mister popularity, it had become harder to catch him alone. But, I didn’t think he would mind having me to himself. I had to make sure I didn’t fall for those seductive techniques he had up his sleeve.
When the bell rang, announcing our cue to leave for the day, I caught Dylan in the staircase. He was typing something on his iPhone, and he didn’t notice I’d come up behind him.
“Hey, are you busy?” I was beyond nervous and covered my gurgling stomach.
“Talking to me again, Wonder Woman?” He’d started calling me that more. I held back, wanting to tell him to go to hell, but I would be nice.
“I need to talk to you about Toby. It’s something serious regarding him. If he finds out, he could really get hurt.”
He took one last glance at his phone and put it away. “Sounds important. What’s up?”
“Can we go someplace else, where no one can see us talking? I don’t want anyone to overhear.”
“You want to be alone with me? What about Petey Boy?” He bumped his shoulder against mine.
I pushed him away. “He has to work. Can you stop fooling around for once?” I rolled my eyes, showing I wasn’t in the mood for his silliness.
“I’m game. But I have rules. We’ll take my car and park by the lake.”
“Why don’t we go someplace warmer like.…”
“We can always go to my house.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I bit my lip. His house was a good idea. We couldn’t go to mine for obvious reasons—a nosy mother.
“Or we could go to yours? Oh, wait, this is a secret. You don’t want Preiss to find out about us.”
“Listen, it’s not like that—”
“I think it’s exactly like that. I changed my mind. My house is out. Toby’s coming over later to work on a school project. You only have me for the next two hours. I would say Starbucks or Bump N’ Grind, but you don’t want anyone to see us together.”
Shoot. He had me cornered. It would have to be the lake. At least it wasn’t as cold as it had been the past few days. I’d worn enough layers to keep warm if we sat in his car or stood outside.
“All right, we’ll go there, but no funny business. I know the perfect place where we can park.” I slapped my forehead. Again, I’d spoken without thinking.
He looked amused. “Meet me in the back parking lot in fifteen minutes. I’ll drive by and pick you up.”
I nodded. “See you then.” I sauntered away.
“Wendy, don’t keep me waiting,” he called out.
I grumbled under my breath. His tone meant no refusal.
***
“Warm enough?” Dylan turned off the car. It was pretty toasty inside since I still wore my wool cap, matching mittens, and a black scarf as well as my puffy winter coat over my pink sweater and jeans.
“Yup.” I took a sip of my hot chocolate. Dylan had gone through the McDonalds drive-thru and bought a coffee for him and a hot chocolate for me.
“Want to sit outside?”
“I’d rather sit here. It’s a nice view of the lake.” I stared out the window, took off my mittens, and untied my scarf. We were near Pete’s boathouse. This was my favorite spot by the lake. Not sharing it with Pete, but with Dylan, felt odd.
I should’ve recommended another place…. “Here we are. I’m all ears.” He draped his arm along the back of my seat behind the headrest and waited for me to speak.
After drinking more of my chocolate, I set it down in the cup holder. “I’m going to regret bringing this up, but remember at the Halloween dance you told me about Pam being involved with two guys? Apparently it’s true. She told me so.”
He cursed under his breath. “At the time, I said it because I was angry. I had a feeling things between those two weren’t the best, but I didn’t think she would…. Who do you think it is?”
“I guess it’s not you, unless you’re a good liar?” I joked.
He didn’t crack a smile.
“Oookay then. I don’t have a future in stand-up.” I shook my head. “I don’t have a clue. She won’t tell me. This could really blow up. She’s not the best liar, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but she’s been really distracted. She barely eats and doesn’t really talk all that much at lunch. I think she’s been avoiding me. Toby looks tired as if—”
“He’s not getting laid?”
I hit his arm. “Do you have to be so crude?”
He shrugged and finished his coffee. “I’m a guy. When a dude like Toby has a girlfriend and has a crappy attitude all the time, it’s because his girl is not giving him any.”
“I thought.…”
“You thought what?”
“This is going to sound so horrible. But the way Pam made it sound is she’s…erm…doing them both.” I cringed.
He rubbed his chin. “Well, shit. What do you want me to do?’
I tapped my thumbs against one another. “Can you talk to Toby and find out if he thinks Pam’s cheating on him? Maybe you can, I don’t know, find out who she’s fooling around with. Crap. I’m so not into this drama.”
He put his hands on top of mine. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. She made the mistake. Whatever happens, she has to live with the consequences.”
I nodded. My sight became blurry, and I blinked.
“I…I don’t know. Lately I’ve been a mess because of what Pam’s going through. I can’t deal. It…you.” I turned my head to stare out my window.
“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around me. I was more confused than ever before. One minute he acted like such a jerk, the next he was nice and someone I thought I could trust.
“Don’t get mad at me. But why can’t you talk to Pete about this?”
Taking off my cap, he set his chin on top of my head, and I closed my eyes.
“I promised I wouldn’t. You’re the only one I can trust with this. I don’t know why, but I can.”
He pulled back and placed his hands on my shoulders. “I won’t break your confidence. You can trust me. I’m sorry I was such a jerk at Halloween. I really like you. If you’d give me a chance, we could have something special together.”
I focused on the buttons on his coat. “I can’t be like Pam and juggle two guys. You know how important Pete is to me.”
My lips trembled as Dylan lifted my chin. “I’m not talking sex, Wendy. I’d be pissed off if you ended up being like Pam.”
I started to blush. “I-I’m not having…I’m not ready for that.”
He tapped my lips. “I didn’t think you were. There’s nothing wrong with kissing. Haven’t you heard you need to kiss a few frogs in order to find your prince?”
His face moved in closer to mine. I knew this was wrong because every part of me wanted Pete. But here was Dylan, acting so understanding, smelling so manly, and looking incredible.
I was weak. My eyes fluttered and Dylan’s mouth came over mine. He tasted like the coffee he’d drunk. For once, I didn’t mind the taste. I moaned and settled deeper into his embrace. By the time I came up gasping for air, he had unbuttoned my coat and his hands were under my shirt and touching my skin.
His hands went higher…higher…perfect. Oh yes, touch me right there….
When we finally drove away from the lake, he was late for meeting Toby.
I was warm enough I didn’t wear my hat, scarf, gloves, or coat.
At least I still left my sweater on.
Chapter Eighteen
I tried ignoring the guilt eating away at me. Even though I didn’t go as far as Pam did, what I was doing was still wrong. Dylan didn’t press me to be honest with Pete, but if a rumor started about us, he wouldn’t have minded. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he started one, and if he did, what could I do? What Dylan wanted, he got. For that alone I should’ve stayed away from him, but after our time together at the lake, I couldn’t. I wanted to test things out, live on the edge for a while, and stop being such a good girl.
Christmas was a week away, and I lacked major holiday spirit. Pete celebrated Hanukkah and didn’t sleep over, which I guess was a blessing in disguise. I would’ve broken down and told him everything. It was bad enough that when we weren’t together, I was with Dylan. He usually made an appearance at my work or we’d talk in his car or on the phone. Well, there was that one time we went to the movies. I’d ended up sitting on his lap. I couldn’t remember half the movie because of our heavy make-out session.
Surprisingly, dating two guys wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. But that would all end on New Year’s Eve. Both my guys expected me to be with one of them that night. Worse, Dylan’s mom would be visiting. They both would be at the same New Year’s Eve party my family and Pete and his parents planned on attending to celebrate the big night.
The sounds of Christmas music from one of the local radio stations played on my stereo in my bedroom while I finished reading an assignment for my English Lit class. The night was blustery with heavy snow falling. I really wanted to sleep in tomorrow and hoped there would be enough snow on the ground for school to close. My window remained unlocked as always.
Tap, tap, tap.
Pete sat outside with his head covered in wet flakes. My stomach flipped in happiness, and I opened the window to let him in. He wore a black sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, and carried his much beloved backpack.
“You were able to get away?”
“Mom and Dad are out like a light. Too much wine.” His cool lips met mine. Hmm, someone had wine, too.
“You’re freezing.” I broke the kiss and rubbed his arms.
“You’ll warm me up?” He gave me a hug.
“Always.”
I drew him over to my bed and sat in the middle while he breathed into his hands. He dropped his backpack on the floor and sat down across from me to hold my hands. Outside, the wind howled, and the snow came down harder.
“Do you think we’ll have a snow day tomorrow?”
“That would be nice. I have to catch up on homework. This killer ten-page paper I have due for history before the beginning of the year is driving me crazy.”
Pete seemed exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes told me all I needed to know. He’d been working longer hours to save up and buy his own car.
“Do you need help with anything?” I volunteered, but then again I was just as busy with school, work, and dealing with a certain other person.
He shook his head and rubbed his face. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes.
“Is there something on your mind?” This time the fluttering in my stomach was from nerves. I didn’t like the withdrawn expression on his face.
“Actually, there is. I need to know something, and I promise I won’t get upset or fly off the handle like I did that time at the lake back in September.”
Uh oh. I licked my lips and began to lie down, but he stopped me.
“No. Stay the way you are.” He got off the bed and stood by the window. He was distancing himself from me. This was not good.
I stared at my lap and waited for the accusations.
“Someone told me you and Dylan are more than just friends.”
“Who’s this someone?” I whispered.
“Wendy, look at me.”
I did what he wanted. The shadows in the room surrounded him, and the snow pouring down behind him gave off a misty glaze.
“Why are you standing over there and not sitting next to me?”
Pete tugged on his ear. He needed a haircut. His hair had grown too long and messy.
“If I sit down, then I’ll end up doing certain things with you. I’ll forget everything I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
That gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which ended too soon because of the question I had to ask. “You want to know if Dylan and I’ve been fooling around?”
He shrugged. “I’ve heard some interesting things.”
“So what if the Brookeside High gossips are saying things about me and Dylan? Why do you listen to them?”
“You have a habit of lying sometimes, but please don’t do that now. I’m not stupid. It’s not all gossip.”
I swallowed uncomfortably. “You saw something.”
He gave me a slight nod. “First tell me the truth. Are you two seeing each other?”
When I was caught in a lie or a fib, I couldn’t look someone in the face. Pete knew this.
“From the way you can’t look at me, I guess it’s true.”
I could barely stop the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. “Please don’t be mad with me. Can you sit here?” I patted the bed.
He appeared torn, but he did sit near the end of the bed, as if he couldn’t bear to be near me. At least he was closer than before.
“Dylan and I have been testing things out. We’ve hung out and talked. Nothing too serious like us.”
“What about kissing?”
I tucked my hair behind my ears and played with a stray piece of thread from my pillow. I swallowed again. “We’ve kissed. That’s all.” One small fib.
He stared past my shoulder. I turned to see what he was staring at. Sitting on top of my dresser stood a picture of us both when we were around ten. We had our arms around one another in front of a sand castle
we’d made at the beach.
“I don’t think things can ever go back to the way they were between us,” he whispered.
I reached over to touch him, but he moved his arm away. I wiped a tear away from my cheek.
“I’m so sorry, Pete. It’s just that.…”
“You’re young. It’s understandable. But I can’t stand by and watch you with another guy. You can’t expect me to be the substitute if things go wrong for you and Dylan.”
“I would never do that to you! You’re young just like me. Shouldn’t we see if there are other people we might be interested in?”
He let out a harsh laugh. “Wendy, what you don’t realize is that you’re it for me. The moment I met you I wanted to be with you forever.”
This was some heavy stuff he was admitting. I did care—no—loved Pete deeply, but to think of forever with him was just too much to handle right that second.
I burst into tears. He drew me into his embrace. I sobbed against his chest, and he lay back on the bed while I cried like a baby in his arms.
“What did you see between me and Dylan?” I asked through my tears.
“After school last week you two were in the gym. The door wasn’t shut all the way. You were hidden behind the bleachers and leaning against the wall. His arm was above your head, and he played with your hair. Then he leaned down and kissed you. You both giggled, and when you started kissing each other again, I left. I wanted to throw him against the wall and punch him in the face, but I didn’t.”
“How can you be here holding me if what I did makes furious?” I asked into his shirt.
He rubbed his chin against the top of my head. “I love you. I can understand why you would be interested in Dylan. He’s a handsome guy while I’m ugly as hell.”
I glared at him. I was so angry I started shaking. “Don’t say that!” I said in a harsh whisper. “It has nothing to do with looks. You’re beautiful to me both inside and out.”
He tilted his mouth up. “Even with my broken nose and red acne-covered face?”
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