Wishing for Us

by Sydney Landon

  As a burst of surprised laughter flew from Lydia, Joe slapped Jacob on the back. “You’ll learn, son. The secret to a happy life is always saying you’re sorry even if you have no idea what you’ve done. She’s always right and you’re wrong. Bring flowers home in the evening just because you might have hurt her feelings in some way that you don’t realize and never get too old to call her honey, baby, or sweetheart. You’re already parents, and someday, you’ll add more to the mix. It’s important that you remember who you are as a couple along with being someone’s mother and father. The moment you lose sight of that is the moment you’ve lost your way.”

  Complete and utter silence filled the room as everyone seemed moved by Joe’s insight. Ada walked right up to him and laid a kiss on her husband’s lips that had both Lydia and Jake averting their eyes. After that, both of Jake’s parents hugged Lydia and officially welcomed her to the family. Ada had fixed pork chops, mashed potatoes, and fresh green beans for dinner so instead of using the bar as they normally did for their meals, Ada insisted they have dinner in the dining room.

  Lydia was surprised at how comfortable she was with Ada and Joe and how much their acceptance meant to her. Considering she didn’t have a close relationship with her own parents, it was wonderful to already feel like a member of the Hay family in more than name only. With a pang, she realized that she still hadn’t told Brett’s parents that she’d gotten married. She felt horrible that she’d waited this long. She would go see them over the weekend and pray that they understood. They’d always been so good to her, and to lose them would be like losing that last piece of Brett. She’d e-mailed Connie to apologize for rushing off when she’d seen her at the office, making up some excuse about a missed appointment. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to admit that she’d forgotten Brett’s birthday.

  “You all right, sweetheart?” Jake asked, apparently having picked up on her emotional upheaval.

  She put a hand under the table and lightly squeezed his leg in reassurance. “I’m fine, honey. Just thinking of a few things I need to take care of.” When he gave her a smile filled with love, she knew that no matter what happened with the Morgans, she’d be okay because Jake would be here to offer comfort and support should she need it. She had a husband who loved her—and she had to think that Brett was happy for her.

  * * *

  His parents had taken pity on them and left shortly after dinner. They’d already reserved a hotel room and planned to stay in town overnight so they could see Casey tomorrow before they went home. Lydia had scolded him after they left because he’d damn near pushed them out the door. The look on their faces had said that they knew damn well why he wanted them gone. He loved them, but damn, cock-block much.

  “God, baby, you feel so good!” Jacob groaned as Lydia moved under him.

  “Mmm, Jake, you’re driving me crazy,” she moaned in response as she tried to get him to speed up. Even though it was taking everything he had to go slow, he planned to see it through. His body completely covered hers except for her legs, which were wrapped around his hips. His thrusts were shallow as he ground against her wet heat. He tangled his tongue with hers again and again as sweat began to run down his body.

  Whether she knew it or not, emotions had always been involved when they’d been together intimately in the past. No matter how he’d try to pretend that it was just sex, it was more. He’d been making love to her from the very first time—but tonight was different. He’d never discussed feelings during the act, and it was unexpectedly heady and exciting. Moving his lips to the skin below her ear, he whispered, “Love you so much, baby.”

  Her body shuddered in response as her legs tightened around him, pushing him deeper. “Love you too, Jake,” she cried out. Those words from her had him dangerously close to blowing his load before she found her release. He tried his best to disconnect the feelings in the big head from the little one while he thrust inside his wife, taking them both higher until he felt her clenching and releasing around him. “Yes, oh yes!” she moaned as she climaxed around his hard length.

  A moment later, he reached his own peak as waves of bliss washed over him. After what was very likely the best sexual experience of his life, Jacob figured some men would curse themselves for missing out for this long by playing the field. But as he pulled Lydia’s sated body closer, he knew that he’d been waiting for her all this time, even if he hadn’t realized it back then.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Lydia had spent her first girls’ only day on Saturday with Casey at the aquarium. She’d come to think of it as their place now. Jake had taken a short overnight trip out of town on Friday, and Lydia had been shocked when Chris had called her on Saturday morning to ask if she could watch Casey for the day. Jake had texted to warn her. Apparently, he’d told Chris that he refused to speak for her, and if she needed Lydia, then she would have to ask herself.

  She had to admit she had an evil moment when she really wanted to make Chris squirm, but that would make her no better and she wasn’t willing to drop to that level. So she’d had a rather strained phone conversation and had readily agreed to spend the day with the little munchkin. When she’d arrived to drop Casey off, Chris had looked as if she’d swallowed something particularly foul when Lydia bent down to pick up the little girl. The little girl had hurled herself into her arms. “Hey, baba,” she laughed as she called Casey by Jake’s nickname for her. One that Chris absolutely hated. “We’re going to have so much fun today!” Chris had thanked her stiffly before leaving to meet some friends.

  Lydia and Casey had spent hours at the aquarium before meeting Jake for dinner that evening. To the outside world, they looked exactly like what they were: a happy family.

  Sunday, though, was a day that she’d both looked forward to and dreaded. She’d phoned Connie Morgan on Friday and asked if they could have lunch together on Sunday. Jake had offered to come with her, but Lydia hadn’t felt that it would be right. She had no idea how Brett’s parents would react to the fact she was married now and hadn’t told them. It seemed cruel to parade Jake in front of them before they’d had time to come to terms with the news.

  Lydia arrived about fifteen minutes early and sat in the quiet corner of the bistro nervously twisting her hands. She almost jumped out of her skin when her phone chimed with a text. She smiled softly when she saw that it was from Jake. Thinking of you, sweetheart. Love you. Everything will work out. It still amazed her how Jake had gone from denying his feelings to embracing them fully without missing a beat. He made her feel so cherished any time he showed his thoughtful side. Her hands were hovering over the screen to text him back when she heard footsteps pause in front of her. Connie stood there looking down at her affectionately. As much as Lydia cared for Brett’s father, Mike, she was relieved to see that he hadn’t come along. She needed this time with Connie. Lydia got to her feet and embraced the woman she’d once thought would be her mother-in-law.

  “I’m so happy you called,” Connie said warmly as they took their seats. They made small talk until after they’d both ordered their food.

  When the server dropped off their drinks, Lydia took a sip of hers nervously before saying, “I’ve got some news to share. And I want to apologize for not letting you know sooner. It just—happened so fast.” Lydia had no plans to tell the other woman that she’d gotten married in Vegas under questionable circumstances.

  Connie took her completely by surprise as she laid a hand over hers and said, “You’ve met someone, haven’t you? You’re in love. I recognize that look in your eyes. I haven’t seen it there since Brett died.” No censure was noted in the other woman’s voice, just a sad acceptance that was almost worse.

  Lydia took her napkin from her lap and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. This was going to be even harder than she’d imagined. In a way, it would have almost been easier had Connie been angry. “I do have someone in my life now,” Lydia agreed. Spit it o
ut! “Er, I got married a few months ago.” When Connie’s mouth dropped open, Lydia hurried on. “It was really sudden. We didn’t have a formal wedding. Then I didn’t know how to tell you.” Because I was so wrapped up in my drama, I forgot everything else. Lydia felt like the worst kind of person as she watched the woman who’d been like a mother to her try to process what she’d just heard. She’d dumped a margarita over Jake’s head for being an insensitive asshole, and she certainly deserved the same treatment from Connie now. Heck, she’d even hand her the glass of tea to use.

  “Wow,” Connie murmured, “that’s a lot to take in.” Pointing across the table at Lydia, she added, “I don’t need to ask if you’re happy because it’s there, even though you’re nervous about my reaction.”

  Sighing, Lydia nodded. “I am very happy. It’s been a bit of an adjustment because I never thought I’d feel this way again. He has a six-year-old daughter as well whom I adore. She lives with her mother, but we still see her a great deal.”

  “So he has been married before?” Connie asked without any sign of judgment.

  Lydia shifted uncomfortably. “No, he and Chris were never involved in that way. It was—”

  “A hookup kind of thing,” Connie supplied helpfully. When Lydia gaped at her, Connie laughed. “I might be old, but I know how things are.” After taking a sip of her own drink, she asked, “Do you get along well with this other woman?”

  Shrugging, Lydia admitted, “It’s been a bit strained. She had hopes of one day marrying Jake even though there was no real bond between them, and I think it’s been hard for her to accept that it’s not going to happen. She was angry when she found out we were married. But truthfully, I believe she is beginning to begrudgingly understand that even if I weren’t around, they wouldn’t have ended up together anyway. I have no doubt that she’ll continue to be a pain in my butt at every turn, but for now, things are calmer. We’ll never be best friends and I can live with that. We just have to find a way to coexist peacefully for Casey’s sake.”

  Just when she’d begun to relax, Connie pulled the rug out from under her by saying, “That day I approached you at work, you’d forgotten Brett’s birthday, hadn’t you? You looked like you’d seen a ghost when I mentioned it.”

  Lydia lowered her head into her hands as she confessed, “I thought I would be sick. It was the first time in three years that I hadn’t been obsessed by that date for weeks in advance. I was stunned to have missed it. I went straight to the cemetery and stayed for hours talking to him about everything that had been happening in my life.”

  There was a squeak as a chair moved, and then Lydia felt an arm around her shoulders. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad by bringing it up. Actually, it just proves to me that you’ve moved on, and that’s exactly how it should be, Lydia. Brett would want that and so do Mike and I. It’s hard, God, I know that’s true. I still see him in small ways every day.” Clearing her throat, she admitted huskily, “For so long, I clung to you because it felt as if we still had a piece of him. I’m ashamed that I didn’t encourage you to start living your life again earlier. I wasn’t ready to lose you as well, though,” she admitted in a rush.

  Lydia looked at the other woman in amazement, “Connie—I . . . don’t know what to say. I never felt like that. We both needed each other to survive. I don’t know what I would have done without you and Mike, and I can only hope that I gave you a small piece of the comfort that you gave to me.”

  In the end, the lunch that she had been dreading turned out to be more freeing than she could have ever imagined. Even though Lydia knew it was hard in a way for the other woman to see her make a life with someone other than her son, she also was genuinely happy for Lydia and wished her nothing but the best. She’d promised to call her in the next week to make plans for them to meet Jake.

  It would take time and some baby steps, but she was hopeful that they would become as fond of him as they were of her. Lydia certainly hadn’t been able to resist Jake, and she didn’t think the Morgans would be able to either. She would never forget Brett, but she had learned in these last months that she had room in her heart for more than one person and she planned to embrace that each and every day.

  Chapter Seventeen

  It seemed as if it had been months since the ladies of Danvers had gotten together for a meal. Claire had organized a dinner outing to celebrate Suzy’s return from maternity leave. She’d actually been back for almost a month now, but this was the first date on which everyone’s schedules meshed. Lydia walked the few blocks to the Mexican restaurant with Mia and Crystal. Claire, Suzy, and Beth were a few steps in front of them, and Ella, Emma, Gwen, and Ava were bringing up the rear. If the laughter floating through the air was any indication, all the women were in good spirits and ready to blow off some steam.

  After they had been seated, Emma rubbed her hands together and said, “Brant and Mac are running a taxi service for us tonight, girls, so everyone is getting the fishbowl margarita. If any of you have a bun in the oven, speak up now. Otherwise, you’re drinking some alcohol!”

  She’d already placed the order for everyone’s drinks when Suzy put both elbows on the table and said, “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but no booze for me. I’m almost four months pregnant.”

  Silence. You could have heard a pin drop as everyone stared at her as if waiting for the punchline. Then Claire turned to her best friend and asked, “Really? You’re pregnant?” When Suzy nodded, Claire snapped, “Well, you know I’m happy for you, but damn, what happened to the whole telling your BFF everything? I just thought you were stress eating.”

  As Suzy glared daggers at Claire over the “stress eating” comment, Beth elbowed Claire. “What are you pouting about? I’m her freaking sister and this is the first I’ve heard of it.” Then her expression softened as she asked, “Four months? You made it out of the first trimester.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake,” Suzy groaned as she looked at the teary-eyed group before her. “Can we please not make a big deal out of this? No, we haven’t told anyone yet. With all of the miscarriages we’ve had, we didn’t want to jinx anything. We have plenty of time tomorrow to talk about it, but tonight, let’s just do what we all do best. Talk dirty and insult each other. I’ve spent months covered in puke, poop, and piss. Tonight, I want to be an adult.” Giving Claire a pointed look, she added, “I’m not going to forget that comment about me being a pig.”

  “Whoops.” Claire giggled. “I was just a tad surprised at the way you inhaled your donut this morning and then grabbed the half-eaten one from my hand and finished it off too.” Holding her hands up defensively, she added, “No judgment here. I gained fifty pounds when I was pregnant with Chrissy. I have no room to talk.”

  “My ass was the size of a freaking tanker truck,” Gwen piped in.

  “Oh, it was not,” Ella muttered.

  “Really?” Gwen looked at her friend. “Dominic picked me up to carry me over the threshold and had to see a chiropractor for a flipping month after that. He could barely get out of bed the next morning, and we all know the man is in shape.”

  “Excuse me!” Mia waved a hand. “Hold it right there.” Staring Gwen down, she asked, “And why would Dominic be carrying you over the threshold? Unless I’m mistaken, that happens after you get married. But to my knowledge, you haven’t made an honest man out of your baby daddy yet.”

  Once again, silence descended. Lydia found herself munching on the chips in front of her as if they were popcorn at a movie. This was better than anything she’d seen in the theater lately. “Holy crap,” Crystal whispered from beside her. She noticed her friend was also eating while watching the action.

  Gwen’s mouth opened and closed a few times before she released an audible breath. “All right, Dominic and I are married. There—cat’s out of the bag. We went to city hall, so don’t be offended. We didn’t invite anyone.”

  “And wh
en was this?” Crystal asked, sounding more curious than offended that she hadn’t known.

  “Afewmonthsbeforethebabywasborn,” Gwen mumbled quickly before taking a big drink of her margarita.

  As Lydia was trying to decipher what she’d said, Ava blurted out, “You’ve been married since before Cameron was born? That was months ago! Does Mac know?”

  Shaking her head, Gwen said sheepishly, “No. I know those guys tell each other most everything, but we agreed to keep it to ourselves for now.”

  “But why?” Emma asked, sounding puzzled. “You have a baby together and you’re crazy about each other. Why the secret wedding?”

  “It didn’t really start out that way,” Gwen replied. “I’ve felt married to Dom since the day we told each other how we felt. We had so much going on trying to get a bigger place before the baby was born and preparing for his arrival that I couldn’t take on anything else. Then Dom told me one evening that he really wanted for us to be married before Cameron was born. I had no idea that it bothered him. So we got our marriage license the next day and went to the courthouse to make it official. We planned to have a big party and announce it then, but um . . . we’re still planning that party.”

  “That’s a little whacked,” Emma inserted but softened the sting by laughing. “You ladies can rest assured, when I marry my stud, you’ll all know well ahead of time and you better damn well be there. I’m going to pick out some of the ugliest bridesmaids dresses you’ve ever seen and you’re all wearing them.” Pointing at Ava, she added, “You’ll be getting the bubblegum pink one with all the lace as my matron of honor.”