Sebastian says it is because I am special. But I believe it is because she likes to be cruel, she wants to see me suffer. Her heart is as black as her soul. This I know for certain.
“Lissa, the bell tolls. Are you feeding this night?” Sebastian whispers as he creeps from the shadows and into the outer rooms of our Queen’s private chambers. I place my finger over my lips and pull him into the hallway, out of earshot.
“You mustn’t sneak in like that. If she were to catch you…” I say, my heart thundering in my chest.
“The Queen never rises before midnight, you know this. Besides, I could charm my way out of any trouble with her,” he says smiling, mischief dancing in his hazel eyes.
“I doubt that.” I roll my eyes at his cockiness. For the briefest of moments, I forget that I am a slave to the Queen and smile. He is my only light in a world filled with nothing but darkness.
“Well, are you coming then? She would expect you to feed. You know how angry she gets when someone refuses the bloodletting.”
“No,” I say, crossing my arms. “You know I will not. I can wait for another cycle. The cow’s blood Sonja keeps in the kitchen will keep me going until then.”
He sighs, a look of concern darkening his cobalt blue eyes. “You are too thin. It is not wise to starve yourself. Cow’s blood will not keep you strong enough.”
“So the alternative is I must drain a person until they are almost dead? What gives me that right, Sebastian? I hate it.”
“We have talked about this Lissa. You have no choice. None of us do. This is the way we must live whether we like it or not. You and I were born into this curse and if we are to survive, we must follow the rules or pay the price. At least we do not kill them.”
“And that makes it alright? Look how sickly most of them are. It is because we take too much. One cycle between the bloodletting is not enough time for them to recover. Besides, you know what it is like Sebastian; it is difficult to stop once the taste passes our lips. I do not enjoy it, I just can’t seem to help myself.”
Sebastian looks at me as though I am sick. I suppose I am in a way. There are some within the clan who revel in the bloodletting, who purposefully drink until their victim’s heart stops beating. I am told Rhain and his brothers-in-arms, Ezra and Devin are the worst. That they thrive on such power over a person. It should come as no surprise really, they have lived with the curse for as long as Queen Adrielle has reigned. They are part of the original Clan Lux and have lived too long in this life to ever remember what it was like to be human, to live in the light. Sometimes, I even think Sebastian thrives on the bloodletting too though he hides it well.
My face must show my disgust because he comes striding over and takes my hand. “Lissa, do not give her reason to punish you. You missed the last bloodletting. You cannot miss this one too. She will find out, that’s if she doesn’t suspect already given how awful you look.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, staring at the floor.
He is right of course, I do look terrible. My image in the mirror is not a pleasant one. My hair is lank and brittle looking, its colour faded from rich chestnut to a sepia brown. My skin is dull and grey, almost as grey as my eyes and I have little to no energy even to complete the simplest of tasks.
“You know I do not mean it like that,” he says, gently cupping my chin and raising my face to his. “I cannot bear to see you suffer so.” A strand of auburn hair falls into his eyes and I have the sudden urge to brush it away. Worry creases his brow and I feel guilty.
“I know you do, and I am sorry for it but I cannot take blood this night…” Just as I say the words I feel a blast of cold air hit the back of my neck. Sebastian’s eyes widen just enough for me to immediately know who is standing behind us both. He steps out from in front of me and bends to his knee, head bowed.
My training kicks in and turning on my heel, eyes downcast, I say, “Good evening, Queen Adrielle, may I get you something?” I stare at her bare ankles, waiting for her response.
“You can tell me, child, why it is you are refusing to take blood this night,” the Queen says, her voice veiled in ice.
Even though I cannot see Sebastian, who is still on bended knee, I know that he is as afraid as I am. He should be. I need to think quickly otherwise this night may well be my last.
“I have much work to do, my Queen, in preparation for your Jubilee celebration. I do not feel able to feed.” I continue to look at her feet, too afraid to look up in case she can see the lie in my eyes.
“Look at me when you speak,” she says, as though reading my thoughts. Slowly I raise my eyes and I feel my face flush as my gaze passes over her naked body. She is stunning, her skin unmarked, her breasts full, and her legs long and slim. She is as beautiful as the rarest bird of prey. For that is what she is, a hunter. Yet, my cheeks are not red because I am in awe of such beauty; they are red because Sebastian is able to see it.
Queen Adrielle raises a perfectly arched eyebrow once my gaze finally meets her own, and I feel the sharpness of her stare. “The bloodletting is sacred, Lissandra, you know this. Regardless of what work you have to do, that is a given. Lest you do not want to feed? Is that it child?”
I feel my mouth go dry and find I cannot answer. She looks at me knowingly, a wicked glint in her obsidian eyes.
“Of course not, my Queen,” I eventually stammer.
She smiles at me slowly, showing a row of perfect white teeth. She is frighteningly beautiful, with long black hair like a raven’s wing and skin as pale as the moon. But, this face, the one she shows us now, I know it is not who she truly is. When the doors are closed to her most private sanctum she reveals her true self, and it is every bit as old and decrepit as her one thousand or so years. This is why she keeps me close; this is why I am ‘special’, because I know her secret. I am her most trusted chambermaid and I have seen her true form when no other living soul has.
“Good. Then you will go with this man,” she says, flicking her hand in Sebastian’s direction. “And you will feed.”
I bow my head in subservience. “Yes, my Queen.”
Her attention strays from me to Sebastian who is still kneeling on the ground behind me.
“Stand,” she demands, and I can hear him shuffle to his feet. I’m too afraid to look at him for fear that I might acknowledge how much he means to me.
“What is your name?”
“Sebastian, my Queen.”
“And why do you find yourself in my living quarters? Do you come to visit Lissandra?”
I bite on my lip so hard that I can taste the metal tang of blood. I hope he does not tell her the truth that we are friends. That kind of information should never be revealed, not to her. She will use it against me if I ever disappoint her in any way.
“No, my Queen. I came to inform your maid that your dress is almost ready for the Jubilee Ball. I am one of the castle’s messengers,” Sebastian says easily. Maid? He has never referred to me as such, but I suppose it is better this way. It is easier to keep the distance between us.
I let out a slow breath. At least what he’s saying is the truth. Sebastian is a messenger, one of thirty that passes through the hallways of the castle daily. I hear the calmness in his voice and cannot help but sneak a look at him. Is he smiling? I almost want to nudge him, to dig an elbow into his ribs but I don’t. I remain rigid. What is he doing?
“I see, Sebastian,” the Queen says, the sound of his name rolling off her tongue. “How have we never met? Such a handsome young man, what are you, twenty years past?” She doesn’t wait for a response, instead, she takes a step closer to him so that her body is within his reach. “Hmm, I think perhaps you are slightly older. By the look in your eyes, I can tell you are far worldlier than your years portray.”
By now, I am staring at them both, unable to peel my eyes away. Sebastian is utterly enthralled and I want to scream at him, remind him that this woman, our Queen, sentenced his parents to death, but I don’t, I just stand there and try
not to call out.
“I have experience, yes, my Queen.” He smiles a smile that I thought he only saved for me. I feel something close to rage erupt within my chest.
“I can see that,” Queen Adrielle says as she leisurely strokes a hand down his broad chest. Sebastian seems to lean closer. It’s as though I am no longer in the room.
The Queen turns to me then, her head whipping around. “I think you need to find another escort to take you to the flatlands this night, Sebastian will be… busy.”
I feel my heart thundering in my ears as I look at the Queen’s face and then Sebastian’s. He still has his eyes firmly fixed on her face.
“You may leave,” she says again, and this time her mouth carves into a cruel smile.
It is then that I realise this is my punishment. I back out of the room, a deep well of sadness filling my chest knowing that Sebastian is under her spell and there is nothing I can do about it.
2
Not willing to take blood anytime soon, I take the longest route down onto the flatlands through the staff quarters. Most of the staff would be feeding by now, so the hallways are quieter than usual. The castle is divided into sections; the West is for the staff, the East for Queen Adrielle’s most trusted clan men and women of Clan Lux. The northern portion of the castle is where Queen Adrielle resides and the South is for her prisoners, of which there are many. I’ve never entered that section of the castle; the screams I hear daily are enough to put me off ever setting foot in the southern tower.
Even as I walk through the western wing, I can still hear the high-pitched peel of Queen Adrielle laughter and Sebastian’s low chuckle. The sound of their amusement ricochets off the stone hallways, torturing my every step. A sob leaves my mouth before I am able to contain it. It should come as no surprise the extent of the Queen’s cruelty. She is smart, surviving this long with many enemies, she has to be. I disobeyed her last month and did not take blood and I allowed a servant of the house into her private quarters. I am lucky she did not see fit to return me to the light though right now that would be a welcome alternative to the way I am feeling.
The thought of what she and Sebastian are doing within the privacy of her rooms turns my blood cold. Perhaps if I had told him what she truly looked like he wouldn’t have succumbed to her so easily. It doesn’t matter now, he’s within her grasp and once there he cannot get out of it unless she releases him. She never releases them. I should know, her lovers are many and frequent her rooms daily, sometimes more than one at a time.
Sighing, I take the forest path to the flatlands, adding an extra few miles to my journey. It is still early, the stars and moon not yet at their brightest. It will be a long night, longer if I didn’t take blood soon. Despite my disgust, I feel the calling vibrate through my bones. I need to feed. Sebastian is right; I am weak, in more ways than one.
“Out alone are we this night? You’re usually with that messenger boy, Sebastian. Fallen out have we?”
I jump at the sound of the voice. My skin turns cold when I realise who’s speaking to me. “We do not live in each other’s pockets,” I say, the wobble in my voice betraying me.
“But, I suspect you’d like to?” Rhain says as he walks out from behind the tree he was lurking behind. He dabs at his mouth with his kerchief, tiny spots of blood marring the white. His eyes follow mine. “Don’t worry, she isn’t dead, yet,” he says noticing how my hands shake at the sight of the poor woman he was feeding off.
“You want to finish the job? You look like you could do with a good feed.” He laughs at the hunger he sees in my eyes.
“No,” I stammer, even though my feet are walking towards the woman as though they have a will of their own. A droplet of blood dribbles down her neck from the puncture wounds he has made and I can feel my mouth salivating.
“You refuse to feed? It is a wonder Queen Adrielle has not returned you to the light.”
“I am out here, am I not? I do not wish to feed off your left-overs,” I say, hoping Rhain will accept my right to choose who I take blood from as is the custom with our people.
“Suit yourself,” he says shrugging his shoulders. “I was done anyway.” He shoots a look at the woman, who has now slid to the forest floor, and I swear a look of concern flashes over his face, but it is gone before I am certain.
“Are you just going to leave her there?” I ask. “Someone else may come along, and they may not be so choosy.”
“So be it,” he says, walking off in front of me. Yet, I am certain by the way he holds his shoulders tense that he is not as composed about it as he is trying to portray. “Where to then, Lissandra? That is your name, is it not?”
“Yes, it is. How come you know who I am? I didn’t think any clan originals cared to note those born of the curse. We are just servants, not worthy of your presence. Underlings, isn’t that what you call us?” I say, unable to help myself. An unreasonable anger explodes in my chest. I do not know this man, I only know the rumours, and if they are true, I will be seeing the light tomorrow as sure as my name is Lissandra but not before he has used me first.
“Easy child that anger can get you into all sorts of trouble.” He turns, staring me down, but I refuse to look away too angry at him, my Queen, the curse, everything frankly, to care about my pathetic life. You see, he represents everything I despise. He is within Queen Adrielle’s inner circle, one of her Knights of Darkness, as they are called. His brothers-in-arms Ezra and Devin also hold this title. Like them he is dangerous and I know I should be wary but find I no longer care. I have already lost everything, my parents, my freedom, and now my best friend. What would it matter if I lose my life? It is worth nothing now.
Rhain’s indigo-blue eyes rest on my face. He is unreasonably beautiful, with a head full of chin length, brown hair and a face chiselled out of stone. He is not overly tall, but tall enough to tower over my small frame. He has a fine figure, not too muscly, not skinny, just right in fact. I swallow my growing desire, disgusted at myself and my body that seems to want to betray me this night.
He smiles at me, a slow, suggestive smile and I feel my body react to him even though my mind is screaming at it to stop.
“You’re certainly full of spice,” he says, tracing a finger over my cheek. “But alas, you are not my type.” He laughs and I feel myself redden at his rejection.
He continues to walk, heading deeper into the forest and further away from the village where the common-folk reside. I wonder why I am following him, why I don’t take my own path and realise it is probably because of his gift. That is the other rumour I have heard, that Rhain and his brothers have the ability to turn any woman’s head. They have many partners, both within the castle walls and the flatlands. I find myself wondering whether they have ever lain with the Queen, but push those thoughts aside. I don’t want to think about her and her lovers, past or present.
“Where are we going?” I find myself asking a few minutes later.
“I am going to visit with an old friend,” Rhain replies. “It would appear that you are following me.”
I laugh, a hysterical kind of laugh. “I don’t have anywhere else to go. I have no-one left.”
“Yes, I know. Your father, he was a good man.”
My head snaps up. “You knew my father?”
He looks as though he regretted revealing such a connection. He quickly covers his reaction with an off-hand remark. “He was good with the horses. They responded well to him. Many that we use now are the ones he broke-in. Not many warm bloodied creatures take to the likes of us. Aside from that, I knew him very little.”
“Oh, I see.”
“So, tell me, why are you alone? It is custom to attend the bloodletting with an escort, particularly as you are a woman. There are dangers beyond the walls of the castle, you must know that.”
I don’t answer immediately and concentrate instead on climbing over a fallen tree. The trunk is rough beneath my hands and I find the skirt of my dress catching on the branches. I
can hear Rhain sigh. “Here, let me help you,” he says, and before I can protest he has lifted me up onto the trunk as though I weigh nothing more than a feather.
“Thank you,” I mutter, refusing his help as I clamber down the other side.
“So, you were saying.”
“My friend, Sebastian, was supposed to be in attendance. He is with the Queen now.” I stumble over the words; they taste like bile in my mouth.
“Ah, I understand.” He looks me over, and I can’t help but notice the pity in his eyes.
I glance away. “He’s my friend. It is an honour to be chosen by the Queen. I am pleased for him.” I say the words automatically, even though they cost me.
Rhain starts laughing. “I know a lie when I hear one. You are not the first to have their lover stolen from them.”
“He is not my lover,” I say, heat rising up my chest.
“Perhaps not now, but you wanted him to be, yes?”
I turn away from him, not willing to admit to the truth, that I love Sebastian. That I thought he loved me.
“I understand what it is you feel. She has taken something of yours that does not belong to her. You need not hide your disgust from me.”
I stop walking, shocked by his words. “But you’re…”
“Yes, I am one of her knights, but it does not mean to say I agree with what she has done. I am one of the first remember, one of the original Clan Lux. I have not forgotten what it was like to love freely, to walk in the sun, to be a free man, despite what you may have heard.”
“Oh,” I say, not really knowing how to respond to that. “And you’re telling me this because you feel sorry for me?”
“No, child,” Rhain says. He stops walking just as the forest opens up into a large glade filled with numerous houses. There are even a few people milling around going about their business. One man looks at me and smiles, tipping his head in greeting. My mouth pops open in shock and I turn to Rhain. “I’ve walked through this forest many times and I have never come across this hamlet before. What is this place?”
12 Days of Christmas: A Christmas Collection Page 14