by M. A. Innes
“I’d just feel more confident about this if I knew what he wanted…what part of everything that he liked. I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
“Have you asked?” Maddy said it like it was obvious. The unsaid duh in her voice clear.
He felt stupid. “No.”
“And why not? He’s not going to think it’s stupid. At the very least, he might say that he didn’t like that part but what about this. I don’t really like the idea of spankings, how about we…insert any kinky word you want, but the idea is the same. From everything that you’ve said, he’s already made up his mind.”
“He mentioned discipline.”
“I know, you’ve mentioned it a few times already.”
Okay, maybe he’d mentioned that part a few times, but it was his favorite. He could still picture Edward saying it, the look on his face and the sound of his voice. Damn, it was hot.
“I’m going to say this again. TALK TO THE MAN.” He pulled the phone away from his ear as she yelled at him.
“It’s not that easy.”
“Why? You talk to me just fine. And let’s face it, you’ve had plenty of opportunities this week.”
“It’s not the same. I’ve had time to get used to sharing weird stuff with you. I really want Edward to like me.” She was right, unfortunately. They’d talked on the phone several times since Saturday and neither one of them had brought up the age play again since their date. He’d had fun talking to Edward about his newest projects and hearing about Edward’s work but they’d both stayed away from anything kinky.
“And you really want a daddy. Let’s face it, you’re ready for a dirty old man to bend you over, spank your ass and tell you what a naughty boy you are.” She said it with such a deadpan voice that he didn’t know what to say.
“MADDY!”
“Well it’s true and we both know it. He just needs to get you a little bit drunk. Then you’ll fess up to everything that turns you on.” She was laughing at him now but unfortunately, she was right. He could have a couple of beers and be just fine but get him drunk and he would tell you anything you wanted to know.
“Because that’s part of the problem. If you don’t tell him what you want, he can’t give it to you. Everybody tells this to girls all the time but it works for everybody. Tell him what you want. He’s not a mind reader.”
Mason sighed.
“I’m right and you know it.” She sighed this time. “You’ve been waiting for the right guy for so long that I don’t want you to let him walk away just because you’re afraid to tell him what you need.”
“I’ll try.” He would. Even if it was uncomfortable, he’d try. Giving himself one more glance in the mirror, he walked out of the bathroom. “Okay, got to go. I need to head out the door.”
“Go for it Mase and remember what I said.”
“Trust me, I won’t be able to forget.”
“Good. Now go have fun with your daddy.” Laughter filled her voice but he knew she was happy for him.
“Oh, I’m going to try.” He laughed and disconnected the call.
Walking toward the front of his apartment, he grabbed his keys and wallet. Thinking about what she’d said, he knew Maddy was right. Edward had asked what he wanted in a daddy the other night at dinner. Mason just needed to man up and tell him. Ha, that was kind of ironic.
Then he was going to ask what Edward wanted in a little. Get specifics on what he thought of as discipline and what kind of control he wanted. Mason’s imagination could fill in all sorts of ideas that he thought were crazy hot but he needed to know what Edward wanted as well. That was the only way this was going to work.
CHAPTER 7
Chinese food ordered, documentary picked out, everything was picked up and clean, but not too sterile and not too fancy. Just the way the therapist said. Well maybe his interpretation of what the therapist had said, but still.
Edward had been skeptical when the doctor had suggested he make tonight casual. Edward hadn’t ever had anyone over for a dinner quite like this. At least not since he was in college, perhaps.
The therapist had been quite clear when he was describing the evening. He thought that the date would proceed best if it were relaxed and informal. When Dr. Sheppard had asked how Edward would normally spend a night alone if he wasn’t working, he hadn’t even had to think about it.
Edward was a creature of habit and he didn’t really cook. So Wednesday was normally Chinese delivered from a local restaurant while he watched a documentary. A British comedy if he didn’t feel like a documentary was as exciting as he got most evenings he was alone.
Dr. Sheppard had thought that would be the perfect setting for Edward and Mason to get to know one another better. Without the stress of a more formal setting, Dr. Sheppard felt they would be in a better frame of mind to discuss the age play and their preferences.
Edward thought Mason deserved more time and effort put into the dinner but he was willing to defer to the expert in this situation. The therapist would get an earful from Edward at their next meeting if he were wrong, however.
He was also advised to share things as they came up naturally but not try to direct the conversation to one particular topic. That was going to be frustrating. He wanted to get to know Mason on a variety of levels but he was not going to be satisfied until he understood exactly what Mason needed.
Dr. Sheppard said it was a common reaction for those who identified as a daddy in the age-play community, but that he had to be willing to be patient and let things progress at a natural pace.
Questioning Dr. Sheppard on what others in the community liked would have been useless because Edward had quickly realized how different each person was. He’d spent quite a bit of time in his meeting on Monday questioning Dr. Sheppard on the different types of relationships and forms of play in the lifestyle.
While a lot of the preferences and needs made sense to him, some were out of his frame of reference. He kept coming back to the diapers. He’d seen Mason’s face when they were mentioned previously and he realized that at the very least, Mason was intrigued by them. Edward wouldn’t be surprised to find out Mason had experimented with them in great detail.
It was going to be one of the pieces of the lifestyle he would have to investigate in a hands-on way. He would not be able to see how he felt just researching it online. Dr. Sheppard had agreed.
He also advised that there were different ways of incorporating the diapers into their play, and not to be afraid to try a variety of things to see what worked for them. Edward wasn’t afraid to admit that the therapist’s words had his imagination working overtime.
It was one of the topics that he wanted to discuss with Mason tonight. While he didn’t want to rush into the physical part of their relationship, he didn’t want to put if off for too long. Feeding Mason while he was curled up on Edward's lap had been torture. Feeling Mason’s strong body relax into his was a unique experience for Edward. The trust and strength that were required for submission were awe-inspiring.
The buzz from the intercom pulled Edward from his thoughts. Walking through the living room, he couldn’t help but look around and analyze his condominium from Mason’s perspective. Edward thought that it was tasteful and subdued without being cold.
A mix of neutrals and blues, it suited Edward. With a long couch that sat diagonally to the fireplace on one side and the television on the other, he felt like the room was well designed for relaxation.
Walking through to the foyer, he pressed the button on the intercom. “Yes?”
“Mr. Winn, you have a guest, sir.”
“Yes, thank you. Please send him up.”
“Of course, sir.”
He’d been teased in the past about the pretentiousness of having a doorman but Edward found that with his hours it was the only way to have workmen let in or deliveries taken care of. He’d always thought that at some point he’d purchase a house but for right now the condominium fit his needs.
> Within moments, a knock at the door signaled Mason’s arrival. Hopefully, Dr. Sheppard knew what he was talking about because it was too late for a more formal dinner now. Taking one last moment to calm his nerves, Edward hesitated briefly before he opened the door.
Mason stood in the doorway, hands in his pockets, doing his best to look casual but Edward could almost feel his nerves. It seemed they were both apprehensive about this evening. Opening the door wide, Edward stepped aside. “Come in, please. I’ve been looking forward to this evening.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it.” Mason’s smile was a bit mischievous as he relaxed. “I’ve been looking forward to tonight, too.”
Mason’s gaze flickered down Edward and then back up. He let Edward see the desire in his eyes, and Edward couldn’t help but appreciate the view as well. Mason looked sexy and innocent, his baby face at odds with his sexy physique.
Edward didn’t fight the desire to touch Mason as he guided him into the living room. Resting his hand on Mason’s lower back, just above his high, tight ass, Edward loved feeling the shiver that raced through Mason.
“It’s not very formal tonight. I ordered Chinese and I thought we could watch the new documentary they’ve been advertising for the past couple of weeks. How does that sound?”
“That sounds great actually. I’ve been looking forward to that and I love Chinese.”
As they stepped into the living room, Edward kept his hand on Mason far longer than necessary but didn’t feel any pressing need to remove his hand. If anything, he would have loved to run his hand up Mason’s back and see if he was as muscular as Edward expected.
Edward knew he was still very attractive and fit for his age but from what he’d felt, Mason’s body was tight and well-defined. With his lean body and incredible ass, Edward couldn’t help but imagine what Mason would look like naked.
“Come sit down. You can sit on the couch or on the floor if you prefer, Boy. Ah, I should ask. Do you have a problem with the nickname? When we first became acquainted, I did not know your name, so you were dubbed Boy. After you mentioned your needs, the nickname took on a different meaning for me.”
Edward looked at Mason, watching as the boy blushed and looked down at the coffee table. He studied the food for a long time before he looked up at Edward. “No, it’s okay. I kind of like it, actually.”
Smiling at his nervous boy, Edward gestured toward the couch. “Look everything over while I get the plates. I wasn’t sure what you would prefer so there is a variety.” He’d gotten too much but he wasn’t sure what Mason would like.
Walking into the kitchen, Edward grabbed the glasses and plates. His was a normal plate from the kitchen, dark blue stoneware. However, after watching Mason’s reactions to the kiddie cup at the restaurant, he’d gone out and purchased several special things to have at his house.
Bringing the sippy cup and plastic cartoon plate into the living room, he paused at the door. His stomach tightened and he hoped he’d made the right choice. The therapist had said to go with his instincts, so that’s what he was doing.
Mason was sitting on the floor sorting through the containers on the coffee table when Edward walked in. Looking up, he opened his mouth to say something but as he watched Edward he froze. His gaze tracked Edward all the way to the table, not making a sound.
Watching his boy’s eyes widen and seeing him shift slightly, Edward knew he’d made the right choice. His boy only did that when he was hard. It was a tell that Edward confirmed as Mason was sitting on his lap the other night at dinner.
He casually set the plates and cups down carefully. Handing Mason the sippy cup and cartoon plate, he did his best to make sure Mason saw Edward was going to treat it as normally as possible. Mason needed to know that this was a place he could just be himself.
It took Mason a full minute of just holding the plate and cup before he could put it down. Edward wasn’t quite sure what was going through his mind, but Mason didn’t look upset. He had to trust Mason would tell him if something he did was not the right choice for his boy.
Walking around the coffee table, Edward sat down and proceeded to fill his plate and turn on the movie. Mason stayed seated on the floor to eat and Edward thought it was cute. He could easily picture Mason in nothing but a T-shirt and the cartoon underwear he’d seen online.
Mason would be sitting on the floor, his T-shirt tight, showing off his sexy body. His training underwear would be tight over his straining erection because Edward had no doubt his boy would be hard as a rock.
Pushing his fantasy away before it could get out of hand, Edward leaned back on the couch and tried to finish his dinner. Mason looked up at Edward, his eyes heating as he noticed the bulge in Edward’s pants. Edward made no move to hide his erection. He wanted his boy to know just how sexy he was.
They managed to finish dinner, talking about the movie and their work, but the tension had started to grow as the evening went on. They were both ready for something more but Edward didn’t want to push Boy too fast.
Once dinner was done, he stood up and started taking the plates and leftovers back to the kitchen. Mason started to stand. “No, Boy. Stay where you are. This won’t take long.”
“Okay…”
Edward could see that they were back to that awkward phase where Mason wasn’t sure what to call him. It was definitely time to see if Dr. Sheppard’s other suggestions were as on track as the casual dinner idea had been.
It took several trips to get everything back into the kitchen but Edward didn’t want to leave anything on the coffee table. That could prove to be problematic. After refilling Mason’s sippy cup, Edward came back to the living room and set it on the side table beside the couch.
Taking one last careful look at the room. Edward turned on the lamp he’d placed on the side table earlier that evening. Walking over to the wall by the kitchen, Edward turned off the overhead light leaving the room lit only by the glow of the television and the soft light of the lamp.
He started walking towards the couch and could see the curious look on Mason’s face. “The therapist I’ve been speaking with suggested something that might—”
Mason interrupted. “Wait. Therapist?”
“Yes. After our first discussion where you mentioned the desire for a daddy, I wanted to get more information on the lifestyle. I found a therapist who specializes in the fetish and alternative lifestyle communities.” Edward paused; he didn’t like the look on Mason’s face.
Mason’s body stiffened. He frowned at Edward and started to stand. “I’m not crazy.”
Edward frowned back in confusion. “Of course you’re not. The therapist is a little in an age-play relationship. Why would he think you’re crazy?”
“Then why would you talk to a therapist?” Edward could see Mason was getting even more upset. He wasn’t sure what to do to fix things. He normally read people very well but Mason seemed to be the only person in the world he just couldn’t figure out sometimes.
“I needed more information and the internet is not a reliable source of information on fetishes. Do you know what kind of crazy comes up when you search daddy fetish online?”
Mason sat back down and looked at Edward in shock.
“What? It was a reasonable thing to research.” He didn’t know why Mason looked so surprised but kept talking, trying to fix things. “After I started working things out in my head, I realized I needed an expert. I would never go into court unprepared and face something completely unknown. Why would I go into this relationship that way?”
Settling back down, Mason nodded at Edward. Taking it as a cue to keep explaining, Edward continued to talk as he cautiously made his way over to the couch. “The regular psychologist the firm keeps on retainer didn’t have the right background to answer my questions. So he referred me to a colleague of his who, as I said, works in the alternative lifestyle communities. He’s been very helpful to discuss ideas with.”
“You went to a therapist to understa
nd what I wanted when I told you I wanted a daddy?” His tone was more reasonable and the tension was leaving his body, but Mason still looked at Edward as if he were crazy.
“Of course. I wanted to make sure I understood what you needed.” He still couldn’t see why Mason was looking at him like that. “It’s a reasonable course of action.”
“Of course, it is, Daddy.” Mason was smiling at Edward now but he wasn’t sure that the change in mood made sense.
Deciding that questioning the change of mood might not be the wisest course of action, Edward went back to his original explanation as he sat down. “The therapist had several suggestions that may help us communicate better.”
Mason opened his mouth, and this time, Edward could predict what his boy was going to say. “Yes, we communicate just fine about everything else. But when it comes to what you want, you shut down and I wasn’t sure how to press the conversation. This should help us.”
This time, Mason didn’t try to interrupt. He simply waited to see what Edward would say next. “Come up here to the couch and sit with me.”
As Mason stood, he stretched a little and started walking to the couch. Once Mason was within arm’s length, Edward reached out and took his hand. Pulling his boy down to his lap, he arranged Mason so that he was sitting across the couch, cuddled in his arms just as they’d been sitting at the restaurant.
Mason relaxed into Edward’s arms and they sat in silence for a moment. Reaching out, Edward grabbed the television remote and turned off the TV. Then he reached out and turned off the lamp.
The room wasn’t quite as dark as it had been at the restaurant but he thought it would do. Besides, the therapist said that it wasn’t so much the darkness as the reminder of how it felt to share the secret the first time.