Shadows of Our Past

by Tanya Jean Russell

  As Holly talked, Jackson slid down the wall and dragged his hands down his face, trying to escape from the horror she was describing. The images that flooded his mind were more horrific than he wanted to contemplate. Nausea churned his stomach and bile rose in his throat.

  Terror flooded him, leaving him paralyzed. He thought he’d understood what was going on, but nothing, not even his experience in prison, could have prepared him for just how dangerous this all was. Nothing could have prepared him for how badly this could all go wrong, except maybe if he’d been able to pull his head out of his ass long enough to really listen to Amory. Then Holly banged the final nail in his coffin.

  “Maybe if you’d actually spoken to her you’d know what was going on. Just like you’d know that she’s been in love with you for ten years. She’s been killing herself over lying to you, but you, you decided to stew in how that made you feel instead of accepting that she’d done the right thing when you chose to break the law!”

  “Fuck,” Jackson muttered.

  Holly was right. It had been far easier to be angry and hurt than to face the fact he wasn’t innocent in all of this. He’d spent the last ten years believing he couldn’t be trusted, that he was weak and when he’d discovered the truth about Amory he’d simply proved it by grabbing the opportunity to absolve himself and focus all of that on her actions.

  The reality was that it was so much more complicated. While he had a right to be upset at her lack of openness, it had never been about him. There was so much at stake here that she’d never had an alternative to deceiving him. He had to let go of the anger and regret he felt about his own actions all those years ago. If he didn’t, he was going to keep hurting, not just himself, but those around him.

  He couldn’t be that person anymore. That person had allowed Amory to be placed in danger.

  “Okay. It’s been thirty-two minutes since we registered Sargent Parker’s bug as stationary. Rodgers and Walker have searched the house and she’s not here. We need the roadblocks to go live for a thirty-mile radius. Peterson, air traffic control are already on standby, alert them that all private aircraft is to be grounded. Someone get me the DCI on the phone.”

  Holly continued to issue a flurry of orders to the team around her as additional people came in and rounded up the party guests.

  “Use the drugs as grounds to hold them for now,” she ordered as the men were led from the room in a mixture of defiance and deflation.

  Jackson ran his hands through his hair. He was a damned fool for not going to Amory the moment he’d overheard her by the lake and he’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her. He’d let his pride stop him from holding her and never letting go, and now she was in real danger. He’d felt betrayed and pushed aside by her determination to do her job, but now he understood. Now he knew what haunted her dreams at night and pushed her to keep going. The regret gnawed at him as he slumped ever further down the wall. Of course she had to finish the job, she would never have been able to live with letting those women down. What the hell was he going to do?

  If Marek had so much as touched a hair on her head, so help him he’d kill him with his bare hands. Unfortunately, he had to find them first.

  Realization that he could help stunned him out of his despair. This was his family estate, he knew every inch of this place. If anyone had a chance of figuring this out it was him. Adrenaline washed through him, and he jumped to his feet.

  Racking his brain for a clue to where Marek would have taken her, he paced up and down, tuning out the chatter and activity in the room. They couldn’t have gone far. Rerunning the last few days in his head, Jackson suddenly stopped in his tracks. Could he be right? Did Marek’s sudden decision not to follow the stag mean something was out at that old airfield? Could he have had a reason beyond his clearly feigned boredom?

  “We have to check out the airfield,” he said, interrupting Holly mid-briefing.

  She looked at him questioningly for a second before nodding.

  “Mark it as a location to check,” she said to the man sticking pins in the map, before turning her attention back to the map and continuing to discuss other locations.

  “You have to go now,” Jackson shouted, frustration growing that she wasn’t acting.

  Amory was in danger and every second counted. The longer it took them to get her, the longer she was with that animal and his sidekick. He looked at William who was sitting, white-faced, on one of the couches for support but his brother was staring blankly into space.

  Holly’s response was quiet and tightly controlled. “Going off half-cocked is more likely to get her killed than save her. Let us concentrate. I don’t have time to deal with your temper.”

  He stalked out of the room as she continued with her briefing. He wasn’t going to just stand there while they formulated lists and plans. Amory had loved him, she’d kept secrets but what they’d had had been real. His chest clenched at the realization of what he’d thrown away. He loved her, and while he couldn’t undo the damage he’d wrought, he would make sure it stopped now. He was going to do whatever it took to make sure she got through this so she could have the kind of future she deserved.

  Any love Amory might have felt for him would now be crushed by his selfish behavior. He’d refused to talk to her, to take the time to understand, instead doing nothing but proving he was still the same thoughtless idiot he’d been all those years ago. That wasn’t important though. He was going to do the right thing and prove he could be the kind of man she could respect, no matter what it cost him.

  Running up the stairs to his room he pushed the door open, ignoring the bang as the heavy wood smashed against his bedroom wall with the force of his effort. All his attention was on the desk where he grabbed his keys, and pivoting on his heel ran back downstairs and out to the front of the property. Cutting through the woods out the back might be shorter in terms of distance, but he wanted fast.

  Turning the key, he swung his leg over his bike and pushed forward.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  A flicker of relief filled Amory as the thick cover of trees began to thin. The insipid light that began to build as they moved further into the open was casting light on the shapes of buildings. She knew where they were, and she knew someone would be searching the area before long. Crossing over a dirt road overgrown with weeds, they approached the buildings. Berishka and Novak were silent and just as she’d begun to wonder if they were simply going to pass the whole place and keep going, they stopped.

  Berishka pulled on a metal door, the strain of movement on the ancient hinges echoing through the night, the grind of rusted iron against concrete setting her teeth on edge. As he dragged her into the building, the musty smell of disuse replaced the fresh scents of the woods.

  She forced herself not to shudder as he stopped beside her and stroked her cheek. They needed to think she wasn’t going to fight back, they needed to relax. If she’d been thinking tactically she wouldn’t have gone with them in the first place, but she hadn’t been thinking tactically, she’d been thinking about protecting Jackson. She couldn’t afford to do that again, she had to keep focused if she was going to get out of there. Someone had to know about his identity switch.

  “Tie her up there,” ordered the man she now knew was not Novak but was in fact Berishka as he walked toward an internal door, gesturing with his hand to the metal beams which spanned the hangar floor to ceiling.

  Novak nodded and shoved her toward the wall.

  That was good, she could use metal beams. Making herself stumble, she forced out a sob as Novak dragged her to the side. She was going to give them exactly what they expected from all women, someone weak and incapable.

  She didn’t fight as Novak secured her. Instead she kept her head flopped forward as he pushed her down until she was sitting, and focused on keeping her hands slightly spread so she’d have a little room to maneuver. Once he’d pulled another zip tie through the first one and secured her to the beam,
he gave her a kick before walking away without a word. She watched him walk away through her peripheral vision, waiting until he disappeared through the door Berishka had headed to. She figured it was some sort of office but the small glow of light that came from the room wasn’t strong enough for her to make anything out.

  When he entered and pushed the door behind him, she lifted her head and ran her hands up and down the metal beam. Damn, it was smooth. She shifted her body, using the post to take some of her weight as she lifted herself slightly. She could break the plastic on smooth metal but it would probably take more time than she had. She needed to find a flaw. Surely something this old had ragged edges somewhere? Protecting Jackson didn’t mean she was stupid enough not to look for a way out of here. Besides which, she might not know what she wanted to do with her life but she wanted to live, she wanted a chance to find out who she really was, a chance to live as herself.

  Sensing movement, she slid back down the post and let her head fall again. She’d been in tough spots before, granted not as tough as this, but she’d made it through each and every one of them. She was going to get through this, too.

  Berishka grabbed under her arm and pulled her upward. She moved awkwardly, trying to stand even though she couldn’t shift her weight properly to make the transition. Once she was standing he leaned closer, his breath hot on her cheek as he ran his tongue down her face. She swallowed the rising nausea and without conscious thought firmly raised her knee, feeling a small glimmer of satisfaction at the howl her action elicited as she connected.

  “Bitch, you will pay for that,” he said, the words coming out as a hiss as he backed away from her and clutched at his groin.

  She held herself still. Well, so much for getting them to underestimate her. She shouldn’t have reacted like that, but there were limits. Once he’d caught his breath he straightened slightly, and keeping his distance, he backhanded her across her already swollen cheek, his ring adding to the impact. She winced at the sharp pain that let her know he’d drawn blood.

  “You are coming home with me. We will have plenty of time to enjoy each other. Then I will send you home piece by piece. A message to any other bitch that decides to try coming after me.”

  She met his gaze—now that she’d blown her chance of him slipping up with her again, she might as well hold her own, well, as much as anyone who was tied up could do. Instead of replying she simply spat at him. He was too far away for her to reach but the raw anger on his face at her disrespect was satisfying. Her reward was a backhand across her other cheek, causing her whole face to feel like it was on fire.

  “You think you are clever, thinking I did not know who you were all along. Thinking I did not know all the details of your little plans. Oh yes, how do you think we got Katja back? I always know what is going on, there are plenty of people who want to be my friend, even people on your team. I am very generous to my friends.”

  “If you knew all about our plans, why would you bother arranging tonight?” she asked. Surely his actions showed he was lying. Someone as successful as Berishka wouldn’t knowingly put himself in harm’s way like that.

  “I had a few associates who had outlived their usefulness and needed to be dealt with. I do appreciate your team for saving me the effort.”

  What? He’d wanted to get his guests arrested to save him the effort of dealing with them?

  “Liar,” she said, but the words came out weakly. A sinking dread dropped her stomach—had they been betrayed? Surely there was no one on their team who would do such a vile thing. He had to be lying, but the little voice whispering in the back of her head wouldn’t shut up. If it wasn’t true, how did he know her name? How did he know where the bugs would be?

  “Why would I lie? Tim Roberts has been my friend for many years, before he even joined your team. All your efforts, and there will be nothing to show for it. Except your broken body of course.”

  Amory felt her jaw slacken at the mention of Tim’s name. She’d found him difficult but had never dreamed he’d do a thing like this. He was the reason she was trussed up here. He was the reason Katja was dead. Shock ran through her.

  “If you think they are coming to get you. I can promise you they are not.”

  Her eyes widened at the surety in his voice. She didn’t want to believe it, but he knew too much. If Roberts really was helping him then there was a very good chance she was on her own. For the first time in years she felt fear, pure bone-deep fear. Sucking in a breath, she shoved the emotion down. She’d get herself out of this or she wouldn’t. Either way she had made her choice and she’d be damned if she’d let Berishka know how frightened she was. She’d endure whatever she needed to endure. That doing so would protect Jackson only made the decision easier. If she was going to have to live through this, however long that might be for, she’d do it with the life she’d bought him in her mind.

  “Finally she understands,” Berishka said to Novak who had joined them. “I don’t have time for this, she can serve her purpose once we are in the air.”

  Unless she escaped, there would be no chance of stopping Berishka. There was no chance he’d have said anything incriminating in the house when he’d known all about their plans. Almost worse, they would keep trusting Tim. Years he’d worked with them and no one had ever suspected. Berishka had been a step ahead of them the whole time.

  Alone again, she remained standing and ran her hands up and down the metal pole—nothing. Shifting so she was in a crouch, she started again. Her breath whooshed out as she felt a slight bump. Testing it with her fingertips she realized it was absolutely tiny, but it was better than nothing. Twisting her hands again, she angled so the zip tie was against the bump and rubbed back and forth. Her movements were so slow and awkward it was going to take forever. Logically she knew she didn’t have a chance in hell of breaking through the plastic holding her to the post in time, never mind the one around her wrists as well, but it didn’t stop her trying.

  Hands trembling, she rubbed the binding up and down and realized she’d reached the limit of her terror. It wasn’t possible to feel more frightened and vulnerable than this. No matter what she’d been through before, she had never felt helpless. Her training had always given her the confidence that she’d get through, but not this time. There was no solution to being tied up in an old building before most likely being flown to Serbia to die. Sucking in a breath, she ignored the voice of doom in her head and kept going. Her wrists hurt from the angle, but she knew that was nothing to the pain she’d feel if she didn’t make it out of there before Marek got her on a plane. She pushed her fear down—she had to keep trying, and if she failed, well, at least they would be away from Jackson. The thought that whatever happened to her, Jackson would be safe, was her only consolation.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Skidding to a stop on the dirt track that ran to the back of the airfield, Jackson dumped the bike in the gravel and ran to the cluster of buildings that made up the abandoned site. Heart pounding, he headed to the nearest building and peered through the broken pane. There was nothing, just barren darkness. He shifted, the ground crunching under his feet as he started to move toward the next building, before stopping. He had to be quieter. Forcing himself to slow his pace he crept forward, mentally mapping the layout of the buildings. The pulse in his neck pounded and he fought the urge to run. He needed to be smart if he had any chance of getting Amory out safely, and he had no illusions that he’d be able to do that if Marek, Pavol, or any other asshole with them heard him coming. He wasn’t going to be able to take down more than one of them and he’d be no use to her dead.

  Methodically checking the buildings, he breathed deeply, trying to control his rising panic, but he couldn’t help the dread that he was wrong from rising like bile in his throat. If he was wrong, she wasn’t here, and he was wasting precious time. He needed to find her now. There was no time to waste while she was in the hands of that monster. Images of her injured pushed into his mind, nearly crippli
ng him as the horror of that possibility reasserted itself.

  He couldn’t let anything happen to her. If it did it would be his fault, as much for not talking to her to understand the depth of the danger involved in the evening, as for failing to raise the alarm. He was a fool for not seeing what should have been obvious all along—he loved Amory, loved her with every fiber of his being. No, she hadn’t been honest with him, but he finally understood and accepted it.

  Her willingness to sacrifice her own happiness for the greater good was a huge part of who she was. He vowed that if he could get her out of this safely he’d spend the rest of his life trying to earn back her respect, even if her love was lost to him forever.

  At the sight of a dim light, barely visible through the crack in a boarded window, he moved cautiously across the open space toward it, crouching to try and stay unseen. He cursed the crunch of his steps as they echoed through the silence of the night despite his efforts to stay quiet.

  Unable to see anything through the window, he edged to the open doorway. Cautiously peering inside, he noted that the light was barely visible in the dark space, only the slightest glow visible from behind a closed door that didn’t quite fit its frame. The moon was peeking through the broken windows and the gaping hole in the ceiling giving just enough illumination that, heart lurching, he spotted Amory sitting alone in a dingy corner.

  Creeping into the building he moved quietly, sticking to the shadowy walls, his eyes flitting between the woman he had to save and the closed door.

  She didn’t react as he eased closer. Taking in her slumped shoulders and head dropped forward, he hoped she was conscious and had to force himself to keep looking away from her. He needed to stay vigilant, but every cell in his body was willing him to run straight to her side. God, he really needed her to be conscious. It would be hard enough getting them both away from here, he wasn’t sure how he was going to pull it off on his own.