It was a while before she slept.
Next morning Charlie was going to the hospital crèche. Toby would take him. But he would have to be fed, bathed, and dressed first. Annie and Toby got up an hour earlier than usual and even so only just had enough time. Toby shook his head as he carried his son to the car. ‘Hard work, this being a parent,’ he said.
They had told very few people but they knew the news would leak out in time. His family knew, of course, and John Bennett, and she’d explained to Calvin, who would say nothing. But they were not going to hide anything. On the third day Toby had to be in hospital earlier than usual. Annie took Charlie to the crèche.
‘Charlie, Toby’s baby?’ said Karen Frost, the nurse in charge.
‘I’m helping look after him,’ said Annie. Exactly the truth.
‘Right,’ said Karen.
It was lunchtime before Eva said, ‘Annie, what’s all this about you and Toby having a baby?’
Annie sighed. So, it was all over the hospital.
‘Bit of a complex story,’ Annie said. ‘I’ll get Toby to come and tell you. But Charlie’s not my baby.’
She found Toby in his room. ‘I suspect the entire department wants to congratulate you on becoming a father,’ she said. ‘And they all wonder why the baby doesn’t look like me. Have you got a story?’
He sighed. ‘We’ll just try the truth. But no one will believe it.’
The next three days followed the same pattern and then they had a couple of days off. Both of them were exhausted. Annie was looking forward to having more time in bed. She’d go in the afternoon if it was necessary.
Charlie had been put to bed; both she and Toby sat in their easy chairs. ‘Tomorrow, even after he’s had his breakfast, I’m going to lie in,’ she told him. ‘Just for a couple of precious hours.’
‘I’m tempted to do the same. Did you say you were going out for the rest of the day?’
‘Driving up to Lancaster to see my parents. Don’t worry, I’ll be back in plenty of time.’ She looked at him and said vaguely, as if it was a careless idea that had just come to her, ‘You wouldn’t like to come with me, would you? Bring Charlie and give him a bit of country air?’
It was an effort, trying to remain apparently casual.
He didn’t answer, was obviously thinking about the idea. Finally, ‘What would your mother say to you arriving with a man and a baby? Wouldn’t she expect an explanation?’
‘My mother would take it in her stride. She likes babies, she works in a school. And I’d explain how we are just friends.’
She could see he was intrigued by the idea and tried to convey by her attitude that she wasn’t much bothered whether he was going to come or not. Though it was hard.
‘I’d like to come,’ he said eventually. ‘It would be nice to meet them. But, Annie, are you sure this isn’t going to make them uncomfortable?’
‘You mean they might think that you are the man in my life? The true one, who will give them grandchildren? No. I’ve told them and I’ll tell them again. We’re just friends.’
‘Then I’d like to come with you.’
‘Good. Now I’m going to bed. Want the usual hot drink?’
It was her turn to have Charlie. She already had him in her bedroom, went to prepare the tray with the things she might need if he woke in the night. But he was getting better. A couple of nights now he had slept right through; she might have an undisturbed sleep. And she did.
They set off late next morning. There were things to do before they went—cleaning the flat, ordering more food, Toby had papers to deal with. And they both had to keep up with their studies.
Eventually they did get away into a day that was chilly but sunny. And Annie was enjoying herself. ‘It’s been too long since I’ve been out in the countryside,’ she said. ‘I’ve forgotten how good it feels.’ She waved at the frost-covered moors to their right. ‘Look at those. They’re glorious.’
‘Certainly are. I’ve not had much chance for walking myself recently, but I do love it. Annie, tell me a bit more about your parents. You know about my family.’
‘Well, they’d both say that they’re ordinary. But I think they’re superb. They love each other and they love me. They always have and they always will.’
‘Doesn’t sound much to ask for, does it?’ His voice was wistful. ‘But it’s not all that common. You say you are an only child?’
‘Afraid so. My fault in a way. When I was being born my mother haemorrhaged and had to have a hysterectomy. But they would have liked to have more children, they would have liked three. Like your family, Toby.’
‘Is that why you decided to specialise in O and G? Because you were an only child and you wanted to deal with children?’
‘Perhaps. My parents both love children, they’d really like me to get married and present them with grandchildren. My cousin had a baby and she’s gorgeous, but they would like a grandchild of their own.’ Then she turned pink. She was looking forward to seeing her parents again, perhaps that made her a little careless about what she was saying. Would Toby take it as a hint?
Apparently not. ‘I think that’s great. ‘I’m all in favour of three-generation families. Grandparents have a very important part to play.’
So she told him more. ‘They’ve promised—or threatened—that when I do get married and have children, they’ll move and live quite near me. There’ll be constant babysitters.’
He smiled. ‘So do you see it as a threat or a promise?’
‘A promise. You know you’re going to have to rely on Jack, Miranda, and Carly a lot when I’ve gone. Then you’ll know what I mean.’
‘Of course,’ he said neutrally.
They arrived just in time for lunch and Toby and her family seemed to get along at once. After lunch her mother insisted on feeding Charlie. Then they all sat in the living room, and the idea was that they would chat. But Annie couldn’t help it. Her eyelids were going to close. And as she looked across at Toby, she saw he was in the same state. Then she looked at her mother and saw her laughing.
‘I remember what having a baby was like.’ Her mother smiled. ‘I remember being tired all the time. Now, why don’t your father and I take Charlie for a walk, and you and Toby just sit here and sleep?’
‘But I came here to see you and—’
‘We just couldn’t do that,’ Toby agreed. Agreed sleepily
‘I suspect you don’t have an option,’ her mother said. ‘You’re both falling asleep. We’ll be back in an hour.’ And they were gone.
‘If giving a guest what he really wants is true hospitality,’ Toby suggested, ‘then your mother is hospitable. I’m going to doze, I suggest you do the same.’
‘Right,’ Annie said after a moment.
Some time later she found herself in the kitchen with her mother, preparing a light tea, while Toby talked to her father in the living room. ‘I like Toby,’ her mother said. ‘I always knew that you’d pick a nice man. Just as I did.’
‘Ma, I haven’t picked him. We’re just friends and I’m helping him through an awkward time.’ She looked at her mother thoughtfully. ‘You haven’t asked about him, have you? I’d have thought you were curious. Me turning up with a man whom I’ve no expectation of marrying.’
‘Of course I’m curious, dear. But I’ve seen the two of you together, and seen the way you look at each other when you think the other isn’t looking and I know—’
‘Ma! You don’t know.’
Her mother smiled. ‘How many times have you told me that? And been proved wrong?’
CHAPTER EIGHT
Annie and Toby had a baby. No, it wasn’t quite like that, they were sharing a baby. For a while. But although the baby took up many of their waking hours and most of their thoughts, they both still had jobs. And enjoyed them.
Four days later Annie was running a postnatal clinic, seeing a collection of babies and mothers who had been referred by health visitors, GPs or midwives, as needing perhaps
more care than could be given by these professionals.
Her first case was quite serious, a baby with a recurrent chest infection. Why was it recurring? Annie arranged a referral for tests and an interview with the registrar.
Then something a bit more delicate. Mrs Thomas had asked to see a doctor, but specifically a woman doctor. Well, that wasn’t too uncommon. When Annie asked how she could help her, Mrs Thomas blushed. She explained this was her first baby, it was all a bit of a shock, her husband was very good, but it was a bit of a shock to him too. And carefully, tactfully, Annie managed to draw out what was really the matter.
‘It’s our sex life, Doctor. I don’t seem to enjoy it as much as I used to. That is, we don’t seem to enjoy it so much. I wondered if I’d changed at all…’ Mrs Thomas went a deeper pink. ‘Changed down there, that is. And I know he loves me, but if he’s not enjoying it and I’m…’
Annie smiled reassuringly. ‘Mrs Thomas, you won’t have changed and what you describe is quite normal. You’ve got a new baby, you’re both getting used to the idea. There’s so much work, you’re always tired. Both of you. Isn’t that the truth?’
‘Well, yes, I suppose it is.’
‘And worrying over things like this only makes them worse. So that’s the first thing. Don’t worry. And then, when you’re less tired and you feel like making love, make an occasion of it. Give yourself time, look forward to it. It’ll all sort itself out in the end.’
They talked for another five minutes. And then Mrs Thomas went away looking a lot happier.
Annie fetched herself a glass of cold water, rubbed her tired eyes. She hadn’t slept at all well last night, tormented by dreams of Toby. I sorted that woman’s problem out, she thought glumly to herself. Pity I can’t sort out my own problem; it’s just the opposite. Like Mrs Thomas, I’m tired all the time. But being near Toby all the time… the urge to touch him, kiss him, is almost more than I can bear.
There was an intimacy living together, completely different from how it had been living with Calvin. Just yesterday she had just come home to Toby’s flat, had been getting changed. She had been alone. She had needed to check something in her diary which she had left in her briefcase in the living room. So she had quickly darted into the living room, dressed only in her underwear. And Toby had walked in. They had just looked at each other. Each had seen the flare of passion in the other’s eyes, had wanted to give way to it. But they hadn’t. Both had stood poised, knowing that if he moved towards her, put his arms round her, kissed her, they’d be in her bedroom, in her bed, in seconds.
But he hadn’t moved. Instead, he had defused the situation. A tiny, pointless joke. ‘Surely the central heating isn’t up that high?’ And she’d managed to walk back to her bedroom with her dignity intact.
Who was the next patient? Annie looked at the list. Jenny Parsons. She’d seen the woman once before. Mrs Parsons was very chatty, had all the time in the world. She had a well-to-do but busy husband, a pleasant house, she didn’t have to work.
Before Annie could even look at the baby, his mother took five minutes to detail what was wrong, what her worries were. She was a member of a new babies club, the other babies seemed to be doing so much better than little Joseph here, why wasn’t he as big as the others?
Annie felt like telling her that it wasn’t a competition. Joseph might be a little smaller than the norm but he was well within the parameters of what was acceptable.
Mrs Parsons sniffed. But she had been reassured, she was happy now. ‘He’s a lovely little boy,’ she said. ‘I don’t know much about boys, of course. I suppose this bulge in his thigh is something to do with his… well, how boys are.’
‘Bulge?’ Annie asked. ‘Let me see.’ She looked, felt, and she winced. Joseph should have been brought in much sooner.
‘Right,’ she said. ‘I’m going to ask my colleague to look at this, if you don’t mind.’
Mrs Parsons was instantly worried. ‘Is he all right? Is there anything seriously wrong? Shall I phone his father?’
‘I’m sure everything will be fine. Now, if you’ll excuse me.’ She reached for the phone. ‘Dr Sinclair? If you’ve a minute I’d like your opinion. A lump in a little boy’s groin.’ She knew Toby had no patients at the moment.
Toby was there at once. He treated Mrs Parson to his comforting smile and she instantly calmed a little under his charm. He stroked the baby’s face and said, ‘You’re a gorgeous little boy, aren’t you? Now, what’s this here?’
He looked at the lump, then felt the other side of the groin. He raised his eyebrows to Annie. ‘I thought an inguinal hernia.’ Annie said.
‘I agree.’
‘A hernia?’ Mrs Parsons spluttered. ‘Joseph can’t have a hernia! Hernias are what old men get!’
Toby was good at explaining things. His voice calmed people, made them confident that he knew what he was doing. ‘All a hernia means is that some of the tissues in one part of the body have slipped to another part. In this case we think that some of the contents of the abdomen have slipped out of place Nearly ten per cent of boy babies have this situation. It’s not serious—in fact, we can often gently massage the contents back into place.’ Toby showed her how he was doing it.
‘So do I have to do that?’
‘I think not. The situation isn’t dangerous but it needs correcting. We would recommend a very minor operation, and we’d recommend it soon.’ Toby lifted the phone. ‘Now, shall I arrange an interview with a more senior doctor? One of our registrars?’
That idea obviously pleased Mrs Parson. ‘If you would,’ she said.
After Mrs Parsons had gone, Toby looked at Annie and noted how tired she looked. ‘You look like you might need a rest. Are you overdoing it, looking after Charlie?’
‘No, Toby, I am not. Just the opposite. He’s a lovely little boy and I look forward to seeing him every night and every morning. It’s hard work but it calms me.’
Toby pursed his lips. ‘You know, he’ll miss you when you go.’
‘True. And I’ll miss him.’
‘Well, better get on with work.’ And Toby was gone.
Annie shivered. ‘When you go.’ The words were like cold water thrown in her face. But then she remembered how seriously she had told him that she was going after two months. He was only sticking to what she had told him. He was being fair. But she had hoped that he would find that he just couldn’t be without her. It was nothing to do with Charlie; he must want her for herself. Annie felt lost. On impulse she phoned Miranda.
‘Love to have lunch with you,’ Miranda said. ‘Canteen in twenty minutes?’
‘We’ve been together for three weeks now,’ Annie told her friend as they sat down at an empty table. ‘We’re like an old married couple, slipping into each other’s ways. I know what he likes to eat. He knows what I like to watch on TV.’
‘Sounds good. How’re you getting on with Charlie?’
‘He’s great, he’s a lot less work now than he used to be. We know what he likes.’ Annie sighed. ‘Miranda, we’re a good couple together.’
‘Sex?’ Miranda asked bluntly. ‘I’ll believe you if you say none, even though I’m the only one in the hospital who would do so.’
‘No sex. This isn’t a real relationship.’
‘So how do you cope?’
‘With difficulty. Sometimes, when we’re tired, sitting together at the end of a hard day, I think how lovely it would be just to go to bed with him, sleep with his arms round me. And sometimes, when we’re not tired, the tension between us is so strong you can feel it humming in the air. I know what he’s thinking when he looks at me. And he knows that I know, and he knows that I want the same thing.’
Annie ate a mouthful of her salad and went on, ‘Once or twice he’s got up from his chair and I’ve thought that he’s going to come over and grab me and kiss me and to hell with everything. And I’ve been half fearful and half hoping and I know I’m going to give way. And then he goes to look at Charlie or
get a book or something. And I’m disappointed.’
‘And a bit relieved?’
Annie sighed. ‘I suppose I am. But then two minutes later he’ll brush against me, just accidentally, and the touch of him burns like fire.’
‘So why not give way? Make a definite decision that this is something that you want. Go for it, enjoy it, and to hell with the consequences.’
Annie smiled. ‘I have been tempted. But I don’t just want sex with him. I want him to love me. I’m not asking him to marry me, just to love me and carry on seeing me and be aware that perhaps we could develop a relationship that could be permanent. But he’s still terrified of making the same mistake that he made with Gail.’
‘He should have more sense,’ Miranda said bluntly. ‘So what’s your plan?’
‘I’ve got another five weeks and I’m hoping that maybe something might happen. If not, I’m going to cut my losses and go to America.’
‘I don’t want you to go,’ said Miranda. ‘You’re going to be my chief bridesmaid.’ She thought a minute. ‘Do you want…? Do you think…? Should I ask Jack to talk to him? Or even Carly? Carly has a lot of sense and is less combative than Jack.’
Annie shook her head. ‘Don’t ask either of them. You know the Sinclairs. They aren’t easily pushed.’
‘True,’ said Miranda. ‘So there’s not much you can do but hope, is there?’
‘Afraid not.’
‘Like to come with Charlie and me on a mystery tour?’ Toby said two days later.
‘Sounds fun. I like mysteries.’
Right, then, I’ve checked out our shifts. We can both get away at four today. We’ll pick Charlie up from the crèche. He needs to be mystified too.’
‘What sort of mystery tour, Toby?’ She was intrigued.
‘A mysterious mystery tour. I guarantee satisfaction. Be ready at four.’
In fact, he took her to see a flat. And she thought it was wonderful.
They had been to look at a few flats, a few houses. They didn’t have time for serious house hunting, and what they had seen had been—well, one or two places had been all right. But no better than that. ‘Strange how your point of view changes when you’re looking for somewhere more or less permanent, isn’t it?’ Toby had asked.
The Doctor's Baby Surprise - An Accent Amour Medical Romance Page 11