by Fifi Flowers
Dressed in a pair of tan patterned walking shorts, minus a shirt, I went to find Saffron.
Seeing her moving around the kitchen from one professional stainless steel appliance to another prepping food, I put my queries on the back burner. “You were supposed to let me cater to you,” I said, moving up right behind her wielding a knife, chopping away at vegetables.
“I couldn’t wait...” Saffron said and then immediately stopped cutting, set the knife down and turned around to face me, running her fingers over one of my tatted pecs without looking me in the face. “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have gone through your kitchen and—”
My finger to her lips halted her apology.
“This is your kitchen to use any way you want. What’s mine is yours.” Those words were truthful and totally sincere. Nothing cheesy about them. I would happily move all of her stuff into my house the next day...that evening even. Instead of saying those words out loud and scaring her, I crushed my lips to hers.
Breaking apart, Saffron twisted out of my grip and continued to prep food along with telling me what to do—I liked it. I was happy to follow directions and eat all that we had cooked up while sitting across from her.
If only I had kept my mouth shut.
If only I hadn’t asked her about her wedding planning business.
If only I hadn’t told her about my work with the Hayes Hotel chain.
We should’ve stuck to talking about our childhoods and growing up on two different coasts. The past seemed a safe subject filled with memories and laughs. Even recapping my friends’ wedding and how I knew them was safe territory. I liked hearing how she found me equally attractive when we saw each other in the hotel lobby. I liked hearing that she had never gotten personally involved at any of the weddings she had planned. Knowing that she only ran out on me to avoid ruining her business reputation was a big plus to my ego—it wasn’t me she was running from.
From the past few months of thinking about each other to the present, the subject of finding each other in the meeting earlier was an inevitable subject. That was where our day...evening took a wrong turn.
I couldn’t help myself when Saffron spoke about being surprised to see my father go and more surprised that he hadn’t told her before in private. It was obvious by her tone and words that there was a bit more between them. Not coming right out and asking, I beat around the bush and questioned what she did for the hotel and how she had started there. My questions were completely innocent in nature but they were definitely probing and digging for more.
“I think I should maybe tell you something,” Saffron said with a strange look on her face. I was quick to notice the way she was closing up my robe—nervously it seemed—tucking one side into the other covering up like she was cold. “Ellis and I dated...sort of...for a while...” I didn’t want to hear anymore but I needed to hear. “It was never anything. It ended just before I met you at the wedding... He never mentioned your name... I...we maybe shouldn’t have…you know...before we talked.”
“You’re pregnant!” I blurted out with disgust in my voice.
“I’m... What? Why do you think that...or say it like that?” Saffron looked shocked and I felt thoroughly sick.
“It’s true. Bigger boobs...your hips...and the slight roundness to your belly.”
She huffed, stood up, and walked in the direction of my room without a word. I thought to walk after her, but stayed put.
What the hell? Why did she sleep with me after standing between us in the conference room? What kind of woman was she? Playing games with me? She didn’t seem like the type of woman to hop from bed to bed or man to man...or father to son. I felt like I had been missing something early and I felt that even more so at that moment. I needed to know and yet I wanted all of my suspicions to be wrong.
Walk back in the room and tell me that I’m wrong.
That wasn’t what happened.
Saffron did return to the front room but she was no longer sporting my robe but instead fully dressed with her purse slung over her shoulder. It appeared that she had reapplied makeup to her face and was ready to leave with her phone in her hand.
“A car will be here any minute to take me to my car. Thank you for showing me your home. It’s lovely.” She was using a professional tone as if she had just completed a job interview—not spent the last few hours fucking around with me.
For some reason her attitude and stance made me snap and lose my fucking mind. I was so angry. “Is that my new brother or sister? I take it that you’re the tart that has my father moving back to Florida to rub his love child in my brothers and their families’ faces?”
“Tart?!” Saffron actually laughed instead of telling me to fuck off. “Do people really use that word for more than good pastry?”
That was a shitty way to accuse her but I was not thinking. I was mad and hurt. I shouldn’t have attacked her. I should’ve apologized or said something rather than just stand there and stare at her about to walk out my front door.
It was Saffron who uttered the last words from her perfectly painted lips.
“Oh...and by the way, it’s your son or daughter. I never slept with Ellis, ever.”
My mouth gaped and my eyes widened and it felt like heavy weights had dropped on me, causing me to freeze on the spot as I watched Saffron disappear out of sight.
Chapter Seventeen
Saffron
Laughing and acting cool as a cucumber. My prominent role of wedding planner in the midst of a crisis had taught me well. Makeup in place, clothes back on—in record time, I had never gotten dressed so fast in my life—I managed to order a hired car. Ready to get the hell out of there, I returned to the big open living area, grabbed my purse and was hit with words that caused me to throw my shoulders back proudly.
Always prepared for the unexpected, I delivered my reply as if Laird’s words didn’t hurt me at all and headed toward the front glass door. A normal person may have said fuck you and slammed the door behind them. Trained to respond calmly to keep brides from freaking out, I tuned into my “everything’s going to work out perfectly” voice. Stopped with my hand on the doorknob, I turned and addressed him one last time before disappearing out into the heat of the night to a waiting car.
That had not gone the way I had always expected to tell my husband that we had created an amazing gift together. However, there was a big portion missing: I had no husband or engagement or wedding. I hadn’t been granted the ability to be the first one to wear the gorgeous magical dress. I hadn’t been afforded the perfect waiting period, like say, our first wedding anniversary. There was a dream house but not one selected by us together. My best laid plans had fizzled and disappeared the minute I broke my own rules at the Santa Barbara wedding.
Sitting in the backseat of the hired car speeding through adjacent cities, my mind replayed the beginning and fast forwarded to the last moments of an almost wonderful day. It started shockingly great and escalated quickly without too many words in favor of actions. In hindsight, I wouldn’t change anything except for one minor detail that didn’t need to be such a major ordeal: Ellis.
Ellis was having a baby with someone?
How did that happen?
When did that happen?
Not that I really could object. I wasn’t pleasing Ellis in that way. In fact, I’m not even sure we were ever in an actual relationship. We started spending time together working, then lunching...followed by dinners and outings. But we had never really had a talk about us or labeling us as anything. So I could not really keep him from dating or doing anything else with someone in our downtime—which wasn’t that often for a time. Maybe their relationship was new...and fast to be having a baby... Hmmm... I thought he had mentioned that he wasn’t capable of fathering a child?
“None of your business, Saffron,” I murmured to myself, heading toward the valet parking attendant once we arrived at the hotel and I had slipped out of the car after confirming my payment.
I need
ed to focus on raising Ellis’ grandchild and figuring out how I was going to continue to work with his son—the new CEO of the hotels where I used to plan the most amazing weddings. My mind was reeling on overload while I drove home and the next day when I got up to fulfill my usual rituals. My tablet was going to explode or run out of memory as my lists grew in volumes. Everything I had scheduled and organized from the beginning of time—maybe a little overblown—needed a new direction.
“What are you so serious about?” London walked up to me with a cup of decaf coffee topped with a healthy dollop of whipped cream. That topping was a dangerous craving I was indulging.
I wasn’t sure about airing my dirty laundry, but I really needed to get it off my chest. Maybe my partners would have suggestions or promising words to cheer me on when I had to work on two upcoming wedding events.
“Laird is Ellis’ son,” quickly escaped my lips before I took a yummy sip of my hot treat and licked the whipped cream.
“What the hell? How do you know?” Savannah heard my words with her sonar ears. Not wanting to be left out, she rushed over and plopped herself down at the table we had in the occasion-dress section in the back of the shop. “Do tell!” Her arms were instantly propped up on the table, under her chin, as she stared at me while London laughed and shook her head.
It was better to get through my story all at once.
Gaping mouths and gasps nearly had me laughing. It seemed comical when the words flowed freely, not leaving anything out... Well, maybe the part that involved me rolling in the sheets with Laird. For that portion they got a PG—bordering on R—rated version. I couldn’t leave out all of the spice because Savannah would’ve probed for a bit more. It was when I got to the exit that I nearly left out his words in fear of them disliking Laird before ever meeting him.
I remembered when I told them about a boy in high school doing me wrong and they never let me forget his actions and made me promise to never speak to him again. When he had come to my house begging my forgiveness, I accepted his apology and took him back. Things were never good between us because one, my friends hated him and secondly, I was forever judging him. I couldn’t handle the uneasiness I felt with him and broke things off before he could hurt me again. My friends were thrilled.
Laird was the father of my unborn child. I couldn’t have them hating him forever. Whether he and I worked things out between us on an intimate level, we had a responsibility to our baby forever. Forever was a very long time to be hearing my friends rake Laird over the coals.
“Hold that thought,” London stopped me to open the backdoor, allowing a delivery man inside. “Not sure what is coming today... I already got a shipment yesterday...” Her voice was fading as she walked away.
“I’m guessing that is an apology gift for you.” I looked up to see London returning with a box and two plush stuffed animals: A fluffy white bunny wearing a big pink bow tied around its neck and a light brown bear wearing a blue bow tie. “Tell us! How bad did you leave things? Should we be expecting daily gifts?” Savannah was lifting an eyebrow, waiting.
“Oh, hold on,” London announced with excitement in her voice as she set the animals on the table and looked through the see-through lid of a white box. “He must’ve been really bad. There’s a box of beautiful mini fruit tarts.”
I burst into a fit of laughter as the box was quickly opened and hands were extracting the sweet treats out. The stuffed toys were adorable and cuddling...but the French tarts were classic...and looked amazingly delicious. No reason to turn away such yummy pastry.
“Explain!” trickled from between Savannah’s lips after a bite and moan of appreciation.
“He called me a tart thinking the baby was his new sibling. I laughed at him and said something about only good pastry should be called a tart.”
“I like him.” London was looking at the furry toys while wolfing down a second tart. “Sorry that he called you an unwarranted name.”
“We like his apologies.” Savannah was taking a break to wash down the rich goodness with a latte. “Could you get him to call you something like...hmmm...taco next time?”
We all laughed wildly. I knew I could count on them to make me feel better.
What was next? Did he expect me to call him and thank him for the gifts?
I had a few days before I needed to meet with a new bride at the same property where our meeting had been held. Chances of running into Laird were remote as I rarely saw Ellis unless I checked in with him. I hoped that things weren’t going to be awkward when I did see them. There was no denying that we needed to talk. What did Ellis think about being my child’s grandfather? Hopefully there were no problems between Laird and Ellis before he left things in his son’s hands.
I planned to act as if everything was the same. Go about my business and let Laird or Ellis approach me first and go from there. Playing things by ear was not the usual way I worked but I had been thrown off balance in the last few months. Nothing was as it had ever been.
All of my life I was one person, set in my ways. In only four months I had become a different person. I was going to be a mom. My body was changing daily. Hormones were attacking me and I had to fight them on so many battlegrounds—tears and libido were the top two. Throwing in my wedding planning job and a new adventure with my business partners, I was thoroughly overwhelmed.
Why is this all happening to me?
Mainly because of one charming Laird Hayes.
Chapter Eighteen
Laird
Fatherhood. That wasn’t something that I had figured in my life. I wasn’t even sure I ever wanted to get married again until I met Saffron. The idea of spending the rest of my life with her didn’t sound bad at all. It appealed to me immensely. Living together for a year or so. Getting engaged. Maybe walking down the aisle a year later. I wasn’t sure where having a child fit into the picture? Maybe five or so years down the line after a long and overly enjoyable honeymoon period filled with lots of nakedness.
We had skipped all of the first steps and jumped right into the being parents part.
“How did that happen?” I scratched my head.
“You dipped your stick without thinking. How many times did I tell you to keep a large supply of condoms?” My father had told me and my brothers that repeatedly.
“We did use protection. Ninety-eight percent effective. The two percent affected us.” I had gone to my father with my news and questioned him about his relationship with Saffron. “And what was with you two? She’s kind of young for you.”
“I do like them younger, true. But Saffron was nothing more than an incredible friendly companion... I stole a few kisses.” My father hesitated with his last words.
“Fuck! Not what I wanted to hear. Please never tell that to my child.”
“Relax! No groping ever. Besides I saw her with someone more like...you. That girl is too much for me with all of her laid out plans for everything... She really is a lot like you. Always making lists... This unexpected development must really be unsettling to both of you.” He shook his head while smirking at me.
He was so right I did like to plan for things, big and small. And from what I had witnessed, Saffron always seemed to be plotting on her tablet.
“I was wondering about her wardrobe change... No more of those colorful dresses hugging her amazing curves—”
“Hey!”
My father was chuckling. “She was mine first...” I wasn’t sure how much humor I saw in his comments that were meant to poke fun at me. “Sorry. But truly you’re good for each other. You’ll make terrific parents... But first, you need to smooth things over with her. She’s an amazing girl...and our best outside wedding planner... Don’t mess that up for us!”
He didn’t want me to fuck things up with Saffron so I made sure to make things move smoothly and more efficiently by getting involved. I had never worked so hard or so much in my life and I was happy that my father was still on board. The reins still remained mainly in his h
ands while I learned every aspect about putting together a wedding on the hotel grounds. When she had an event I planned to tag along and help out where I could. Any way for me to spend more time with her until she warmed up to me and let me in, accepting my apologies—I was prepared.
Since Saffron had slapped me with the news of my pending fatherhood, I had been doing more prep behind the scenes. On the down-low I found a baby store registry and bought almost everything on it. Major things included a crib along with everything to deck out a baby’s nursery. I wasn’t sure how that worked or if she looked at the store list to see what had to be snagged up for her. I just brought it all home and set it up in the bedroom closest to the master bedroom. Items that were small and easy for her to pack in a box to move over to my house I had delivered to her work.
The first were stuffed animals as an apology along with pastry that I hoped made her laugh. I knew she had a great sense of humor—surely she took it as a slap to me and my stupid outburst that had her running away. And though she failed to respond in some way, I kept the local delivery boys in business. Diapers stacked and tied with ribbons to look like a wedding cake I thought was appropriate for the shop. I was getting creative thanks to online baby shower sites. Of course, I had no idea how to make the items but there were plenty of people willing to put stuff together. My favorites were a tree filled with teething toys and a bouquet of onesies.
I couldn’t wait to see our little one using everything that was piling up for him or her. The gender of the baby really didn’t matter to me. I just wanted a healthy, happy baby. Would I ever go with Saffron to one of her doctor appointments? Did Saffron know the sex of the baby? Had she picked out names? Did she have ultrasound pictures? I knew that before long, we were going to need to talk. I wanted her home with me. Both of them safe.
Safety was another one of my concerns with my house. Besides installing a state of the art alarm and monitoring system, I hired a baby proofing expert to outfit my house. I selected top of the line products that weren’t ridiculously set up to where I couldn’t open things myself. Someone had told me crazy stories of pissing in the sink or shower since they couldn’t raise the toilet lid. Protecting a child was no laughing matter and involved some high tech shit and a lot of studying.