by Ally Adams
“Really? Is that why you’ve lost weight?” I looked at him surprised; I wouldn’t have taken him for a food connoisseur.
He filled two glasses with water and shrugged. “Lucas and I used to hang out a bit before he got a girlfriend, but he just got everything delivered. The Russian’s single now, but he only eats meat…”
I laughed. “Yeah that sounds like The Russian, you’ve got to keep moving around him or he’s sizing you up as a meal,” I agreed.
Nik smiled, and continued. “If it is not spicy, Tomás won’t eat it. Andy, do you know the physio?” he stopped to ask me.
I nodded. “Sure, but not that well.”
“He and his wife have invited me around a few times for dinner,” he clarified. “She can cook; he’s lucky. So did Elizabeth, the coach’s wife, but that’s not the most comfortable meal… a thousand questions.”
I studied Nik as he gave an insight to what his first few months here had been like. I forgot he was probably a bit lonely, but at least now he was living with Alice and her friend, Cassie.
“That wouldn’t be fun,” I agreed, reluctantly.
Nik brightened. “I know, so go out with me?” He looked at me and gave me a smile that would melt any red-blooded girl.
We spread the dishes on the counter and helped ourselves. Nik tried some of my regular dishes and I tried the ones I ordered for him. It was weirdly comfortable, as though we were housemates who would soon be fighting over the remote.
“How do you feel about the remote?” I asked, just out of curiosity.
“I have to have it.”
“Hmm,” I said. “Me too, especially in my house,” I added.
His eyes narrowed as he took that in.
“Buying dinner tonight is not replacing Friday night dinner when you dress up, I pick you up and take you somewhere nice. Right?” he asked.
I delayed my response while we moved to the sofa again and he joined me this time, abandoning the window sill. We sat on opposite sides to each other.
“Is this something you do… if a girl turns you down on a date you pursue her until she changes her mind?” I asked. “Or do you just persist until you understand why you’re not date-material to every woman on the planet?” I wound some delicious noodles around my fork, taking a huge mouthful with no thought of being glamorous.
He shrugged. “I’ve never been turned down before.”
I nearly choked on my noodles, finishing with a charming snort of derision.
“What?” I said, swallowing. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-three,” he said. “And you?”
“The same, twenty-three.”
“See we like our food and we’re the same age, so many things in common,” Nik teased, and I snorted again in a ladylike manner. I could understand why he was completely taken by me.
I continued my research. “So let me clarify this… you’ve never been turned down before? You’ve asked women out though, right?”
Nik rolled his eyes. “What do you think?”
“And you’d have a lot of women who hang around you and want to go out with you right?” I continued.
He shrugged. “Yes, but you’re the only woman I’ve asked out who doesn’t find me attractive and won’t go on a date with me.”
“I didn’t say that… I mean clearly you’re okay in the looks department,” I said. That shouldn’t make his head too big.
“Thanks, wow, big compliment.” He feigned being overwhelmed. “Hold on, any minute we both won’t fit in here as my head expands,” he joked.
I grinned. “Okay, you’re good looking, happy now?”
“Very,” he said. “About what you were saying before Sah-sha, your sister is lovely, but you are gorgeous. I can’t believe you can’t see it,” he said.
I stopped, my fork suspended in mid-air and I looked at him. It wasn’t fair saying stuff like that without any warning. I stuffed the noodles in my mouth and pretended I didn’t hear it; I avoided looking at him but in my peripheral vision I could see him cock his head on the side and study me.
We sat in an awkward silence or maybe it was just me that felt awkward. I swallowed. “Water top up?” I asked.
“Please,” he said. He put his unfinished meal down on the coffee table and waited for me to return before eating. Nice. We ate our way through the meal. It was going well. Maybe we weren’t jinxed after all, and as soon as I thought that, it happened again.
My husband arrived.
Chapter 5
I heard the knock on the door and looked at Nik. I’m very particular about my guests and I wasn’t expecting a client.
“Are you expecting anyone?” I asked and he laughed.
“Yeah I gave out your address to everyone, told them to find me here,” he said, and continued eating.
I rose and went to the door. I barely had it opened a foot before my husband, photographer-cum-druggy Adam Lattimore stomped in. Just a bit taller than me, thin, hippy, artist, boy-next-door charm—he looked more like a musician in a band than a photographer.
“It’s official, we’re unofficial, babe, miss me yet?” he asked, and threw some paperwork on the kitchen counter.
Make that my ex-husband.
“Yeah, well thanks for bringing around the paperwork and see ya,” I said, still standing with the door open.
“Thought you might want to celebrate,” he smiled, grabbing my hips and pulling me close to him. He had a smile that was like a drug to me… insidious, dangerous, and tempting. He rocked a pair of jeans and a black long sleeve t-shirt, his dark brown hair was shaggy and flopped into his blue eyes and everything about him spelled danger to me. He was a shit husband. Then he spotted Nik.
“Who’s this?” he asked, staring at Nik from the kitchen.
I heard Nik sigh before he rose, as if dealing with dickheads was part of the norm when dating a girl. He came towards us.
“This is a colleague of mine,” I said.
“A colleague?” Adam mocked me. Nik looked equally unimpressed. Adam was always insanely jealous; happy to play the field himself but woe betide me if I glanced at anyone.
“I’m the media officer for the Saints’, Adam, and Nik is a Saint, so to speak,” I said, moving to stand between the two men. Nik was easily a foot or so taller and wider, but Adam was street smart.
I introduced them. “Nik Wagner, Adam Lattimore.” Nik went to extend his hand to shake and Adam folded his arms. I felt Nik bristle beside me.
“Like them pretty now, do you?” Adam asked me.
“Actually I.Qs are in now, buddy,” Nik shot back and I laughed instinctively which was the wrong thing to do. Adam pushed me away to reach Nik and I hit the wall, he swung one good shot at Nik connecting with his eye and as Nik reeled back with the surprise hit, Adam took off. He was gone in seconds.
“Fucking hell.” Nik straightened and reached for me. “Are you okay, Sah-sha?”
“I’m fine.” I straightened my clothes.
“Little punk.” Nik started out the door but I grabbed his arm, my hand barely going around half of the muscles in his arms.
“Nik, leave it, please,” I begged, “please.”
Nik turned back to look at me, took a deep breath and walked back inside, closing the door. I hated to think what damage they might do to each other.
I touched his face and he flinched slightly. He was darkening slightly around one eye and he had a trickle of blood on his cheek from a cut. Adam’s ring must have cut his face.
“I’m really sorry, Nik,” I said, studying his face. “I know he doesn’t deserve to get away with that.”
“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He shrugged.
“I will worry about it, now lean against the bench,” I ordered him. He did what he was told which was refreshing. I opened a drawer in the kitchen where I had some basic first aid stuff and found some antiseptic.
“Stay put for a sec,” I said, and raced to the bathroom to grab tissues and cotton balls. I returned,
dampened the cotton balls in warm water and cleaned the cut. His blue eyes watched me with just a hint of amusement and a bit of lust, well I think it was lust since we’d eaten already. I leaned up on my toes and touched some antiseptic against the cut.
“Ouch, Sah-sha.” He pulled away from me.
“Don’t be such a baby,” I said, returning to pat his face. He closed his eyes and let me. He really was gorgeous, I could just kiss those lips while he leaned there looking so peaceful. “There, that’s done. You won’t be as pretty for a while, but some girls like rugged.”
“That so?” he asked with interest.
“So I’ve heard. I’ll make you another coffee while you sit and hold some ice to your eye. Go relax,” I said.
“Hmm.” He grunted and headed back to the sofa. He began to clean up our plates on the coffee table and I ordered him to leave it. It was good that he followed orders so easily. I must remember that, could come in handy at work too.
I came over with a tea towel laden with ice cubes—déjà vu from his last visit—and handed them to him. Instead of taking the ice, he took my hips.
“You put it on,” he said, and pulled me closer. I guess it was the least I could do and he did look like he needed some tender lovin’ care. I bit my lip and hesitated just a moment knowing where this might lead. He took the decision away from me, and pulled me down onto his lap to straddle him, all the time he kept his hands around my hips. He leaned his head back on the sofa seat and closed his eyes. I applied the ice to his bruised socket and he winced slightly at the sting of cold.
“I’m really sorry, Nik,” I whispered. “I told you we were jinxed.”
“We’re not jinxed, Sah-sha,” he growled. “You’ve just got a dickhead…”
“Ex-husband,” I said, finishing for him. It was the first time I had said ex-husband out loud and I felt a tinge of pain. I had loved Adam once, maybe still loved the Adam I remembered. Now it was officially over. I was a divorcee at twenty-three—my first real life failure.
“How long were you married?” he asked.
“Four years. We met when I was studying journalism; I was nineteen, he was twenty-four. He’s a photographer, works for The Daily. We met on a job—there was this artist getting great reviews for his avant-garde work. So, the college magazine sent me to cover it and he was there for the paper. I guess we just clicked. We were married three months later—my folks hated him.”
“Yeah, well I can imagine them not being too excited,” Nik said. “They have this clever girl at college with a bright future and she runs off and marries a photographer she’s known for a minute who is older and more advanced than she is.”
“Yeah, thanks Dad for summing that up,” I said. Nothing I hadn’t heard before.
Nik chuckled and repositioned himself slightly under me—great we could both feel it now, his huge erection pressing through his training pants against my jeans. Apologies if I’m squashing it.
“It’s not like I gave up college or anything just because we got hitched,” I told him, “but it was a pretty wild ride. Anyway Saffron’s the reliable one, I’m sure they expected nothing less from me.” I continued to defend myself which is strange because I never really gave a fuck what people thought and probably still don’t. Why did I need to make myself look better in Nik’s eyes?
“So you’re impulsive, Sah-sha, umm, I must remember that,” he said, momentarily opening the one eye that was ice free to study me before closing it again.
“No, just not very sensible when it comes to love, I think. It was new to me… that sort of insane passion… it doesn’t matter. It crashed and burned. His photographic talent was best fueled by drugs and you need money to buy drugs and you know the story.” My voice tapered off, I’m tired of talking about it now… enough.
I felt Nik’s hands squeeze my hips. “It gets easier,” he said.
“Got some experience in this?” I asked.
“Never been divorced, but we’ve all got our skeletons,” he said. “You’re special, Sah-sha.”
I laughed.
“But you can’t take compliments,” he said and he pulled my hand and the ice away from his eye, he blinked open both eyes and looked at me.
“I think you’re amazing,” he said. “Shh…” he stopped me from interrupting him again. “No denying it, no shrugging me off. I want you to say thank you, Niklas, you are right, I am amazing,” he teased me.
I bit my tongue between my teeth and made a face at him. “That’s not going to happen,” I said, “and not because I’m insecure or have low self-esteem, I know exactly my strengths and weaknesses.”
“I know some of them too,” he said.
“Already? I doubt it,” I said, impatiently. Yeah I’m so transparent that Nik can sum me up in a minute.
“You’re beautiful and trusting but you’ve had your wings clipped so now you’re cautious and licking your wounds. You trust your family and close friends but you’re not going to make the same mistakes again,” he said, watching me and not stopping for breath. “You’re ambitious and creative, you need very little company. You’re a bit hyper and if you didn’t design, work, exercise and do flips down your catwalk you would probably be clawing the roof. You want to make your own mark, you dress how you want to dress regardless of what people think, and you like me,” he finished with a grin to make it all less serious.
I smiled then bit my lip while I studied him and thought about what he said; he read me pretty well, I had to give him more credit for insight than I realized.
“Agree I’ve drawn you pretty well?” he asked.
“Maybe,” I told him. “You on the other hand… you’re a closed book. I know virtually nothing about you, your family or friends or what you want or why you decided to come here to the Saints.”
He shrugged. “You’ll have to spend some time with me then.”
I wriggled to a more comfortable position on his lap, where his erection wasn’t going to set my clit on fire.
“Keep moving like that Sah-sha and I’ll have to take matters into hand.”
“Huh,” I scoffed. He wouldn’t dare. “I still believe what I said to you before; if you want to survive this season with the Saints’ you’d do best to avoid me.”
He leaned forward to kiss me but didn’t account for my own superfast reflexes; I got that bag of ice in between us so fast he dropped back with a groan as the cold pressure touched his eye.
“You’re killing me Sah-sha.”
“I know, I’ve been saying that all along.” I rolled my eyes.
*****
I had spent the last hour or so reading in bed, trying to relax my mind for sleep. I put my book down, slid under the sheets and turned off the bedside light.
I couldn’t believe Adam would just arrive like that—seeing him always set me back, dropping me in all the pain again and I had to sort and re-file everything in my head. I sent Nik home empty-handed, the gun in his pants loaded and with a black eye. Not a great night for him, but hey, I didn’t invite him over and I didn’t want to celebrate my divorce night shagging some other guy; that’s one memory I didn’t need.
I had to stop thinking of Nik as a potential new guy on the scene, I seriously wasn’t ready yet, I had other plans and I didn’t need a relationship pulling me off course. It had taken a while, but Adam was out of my system—sure I slipped every now and then, but I knew what I needed and what the pain would be like if I relapsed into Adam’s arms. There was no better deterrent than remembering that pain. Add to this I had a great job, I had my design business, good friends, and my wonderful apartment—hell, I was the poster girl for on track.
Then my phone beeped. It was nearly midnight. Who was texting at this hour? I reached for it and the room lit with the soft glow of the screen. Nik! Really?
NIK: Can’t sleep, black eye. R U OK?
ME: Not playing Nik. Go find some nice safe girl. Over & out
NIK: Found girl, not interested in safe
ME: Gir
l worried for U & her
NIK: How bout our Friday date? One step @ a time
ME: I’ve got some friends I can set U up with
Then there was nothing. Well, that might have worked. Seriously, what was Nik’s game? I knew he had plenty of girlfriends, so, was it just the challenge of getting one across the line that turned him down? Men, they are so—my phone beeped again—persistent.
NIK: Sasha, if U really don’t like me, say so now & I’ll go away
So there is an end point. A bloody nose and a hit to the eye didn’t do it, but now if I said so Nik would go away. Excellent.
ME: Go away
NIK: U didn’t say U didn’t like me
ME: FUCK
NIK: Now?
ME: Goodnight, don’t be L8 for media call 2morrow
NIK: Yes Ma’am.
I just put the phone down and settled back in my sheets when it binged again. For the love of technology, shut up already. I reached out and grabbed the phone. It wasn’t Nik this time, it was ex-hubby, Adam.
ADAM: U looked good 2night
ME: Thanks U 2
ADAM: Miss U
ME: Only cause U saw me 2night
ADAM: No. Often think of U
ME: Not doing this
ADAM: Can I come round?
ME: No. U R single, go spread your seed
ADAM: Fuck U, Sash, same as always
ME: U loved that once.
There was another quiet break. Maybe he was gone now too. I was on a roll tonight. I’m bound to end up alone and living with the offspring of Prada—actually I’m okay with that. I yawned. Maybe I should turn my phone off. Nope, there it was another text.
ADAM: Nite, Sash. I love U
An arrow hit my heart. I wish we could be like every other divorced couple and just hate each other.
ME: Nite Ad. I love U 2. U R my favorite ex-hubby
And then I put the phone on silent and dropped back into bed. Six hours until morning.