by Ally Adams
*****
When I took a break for lunch, I looked over my shoulder, checked there was no one around, and did a quick online search on Nik. There were heaps of press clippings, great photos, awards, wonder boy stories and pics of him with beautiful women in Berlin—so glad I saw those. I could only read the articles that were in English but there was no mention of his family. I found a long interview he did just before he came to the States where he talked about his first coach being his inspiration. I read through it; at thirteen he had moved in with the coach and his wife when signed in the junior league and they managed his early career. Interesting. Not one mention of his family in that article either or where he had grown up. There were a couple of social shots with Anton in them along with a handful with women. Hmm.
What’s your story Nik? I want to be very careful not to accidentally break you.
Chapter 16
I needn’t have worried about being the one to break Nik because it appears it was The Russian’s turn this time, the universe had let me off the hook. I only heard about it second-hand but Alice came rushing in after lunch and dragged me to the office window overlooking our playing grounds. Up near the training rooms was an ambulance, and all the players along with Doc and coach Johan were milling around.
“What the hell is going on?” I asked.
“I just pulled into the parking lot and Tomás saw me and came over because I was worried. Johan was holding a game review meeting just before lunch...”
“I know, Nik said it would go for about two hours and then they had a compulsory lunch for team bonding as he called it.”
Alice nodded and we watched as the ambulance drove out of the grounds. The players started heading to their cars except for The Russian and Buzz who went back into the building with Shayne and Johan. Alice turned to me.
“Well Russian and Buzz got into a fight. I don’t know what it was about but they went at each other,” Alice said.
“Wow, must have been major because it takes a lot to rile Russian, he doesn’t get worked up about anything,” I said. I shook my head.
Alice agreed. “Buzz is nuts to annoy The Russian, you don’t want to stir a sleeping giant. Anyway, they went at it. Unfortunately Harry and Nik entered as The Russian and Buzz slammed each other against the wall. You know Harry kind of hero worships Nik a bit and Lucas too. I think they’re both very supportive of him, helping him along,” Alice said getting off subject.
“Are Nik and Harry okay?” I pushed her.
“Sort of. Nik was rammed into the wall and got a mild concussion. Tomás said something about low blood pressure too, but he was out cold for a few minutes and Harry might have a broken arm,” she finished.
I gasped. “That was Nik and Harry going off in the ambulance?”
She nodded. “Nik’s okay though, he’s woken up; they’re just going to run some checks on him.”
I shook my head. “That’s crazy and what if Harry’s season is over because of in-club fighting? Wait until I see The Russian.” I looked to the oval and saw him, Ed and Shayne walking back towards our office admin area. Several of the club physios followed them.
Alice continued like a good gossiper. “Tomás said Russian feels really bad about it, but Buzz is totally flippant,” Alice added.
“Hmm, this could be big trouble for Buzz,” I said, lowering my voice. “Before you came to the club, he’s had warnings for in-club fighting, missing training, drinking when he shouldn’t.” I exhaled. “Johan will be beside himself.”
We heard The Russian coming and he must have heard my last comment.
“Johan is fucking furious,” The Russian growled, “and so am I. Bad enough we get injuries on the field but from each other, it’s not on.”
“Lot of money in this game, careers at stake, and we can’t afford to have players out,” Ed, his business partner said, coming up behind him and moving past to return to their Saints’ Security office.
The Russian breathed out. “I’m sorry Sash about your man, it was never about him, just bad timing. Buzz is a dickhead.”
I nodded. “Where have they taken Nik and Harry?”
“St. Andrews hospital, I’m going up now. Want a lift?” he asked.
“No, I’ll go straight after work if you are sure he’s okay?” I said, knowing they’d run tests on Nik for a while first and I might not get access to him immediately. I didn’t even have Anton’s number to let him know but I guess they would have contacted him or Nik’s manager who might contact Anton.
“He’ll be fine. We won’t though,” The Russian glanced out to the oval. “With the bye this weekend we had no training tomorrow, but Johan has just called a session. We’re going to be whipped.” He sighed and walked to his office.
I looked to Alice. “At least I didn’t injure Nik this time,” I said.
“Yeah, but be careful at the hospital,” she said, in all seriousness. I gave her a special look.
*****
Just after five-thirty, I arrived at the hospital and found Nik asleep, in pale blue hospital-issued pajamas in a private room—so cute. He was propped up, had a drip in his arm and his usually tanned faced looked a little whiter than usual. Anton was sitting reading the newspaper in the corner and grinned on seeing me. He rose. He was in a suit but his jacket hung over the back of the chair.
“Hello Sah-sha,” he whispered and kissed me on the cheek, his German accent as strong as Nik’s inflections.
“Hi Anton, how is he?” I said in a quiet voice glancing at the patient.
“He’ll be fine, so will Harry—not a break, just a sprain. Wrong place, wrong time,” Anton said.
“What a relief they are both okay—they don’t call Russian the wall for nothing.” I sighed. “It’s good to see you again,” I smiled at him, “I didn’t know how to reach you to let you know about Nik and I wasn’t sure when you go back to New York.”
“Thanks, his manager called me. I leave tomorrow,” he said. He pulled the two visitors’ chairs together near the door, a little farther away from Nik so we wouldn’t disturb him. We sat down and I gave him a surprised look.
“I thought you might be staying for his bye weekend to catch up.”
“Ah no, just for a few days. I believe he has plans for the weekend since he has it off,” Anton said, giving me a mysterious look like I should know that—maybe Nik was going away for the weekend and I just thought we’d spend it together. I felt a wave of disappointment and anger at myself for expecting too much from men, I always do that. I should learn to expect nothing, then I’d never be disappointed. I made a note to talk with myself about that later.
I glanced over on hearing Nik stir but he didn’t wake up. He looked so vulnerable lying in the bed and very kissable, I just wanted to lift up the sheet and get in beside him.
“He’s a bit high, something in that drip is making him happy,” Anton said, looking to Nik.
“Oh good, I might get some home truths.”
Anton studied me.
“Maybe we can talk,” I said to him and he nodded. I leaned back in the chair. “I’m guessing your trip here is to check up on me.”
Anton looked surprised and then he smiled. “Nik said you were as direct as he was, a good thing I think.”
I nodded and smiled, but didn’t speak waiting for his answer.
“I did have some business here, but yes, I guess I do take on the responsibility of looking after Nik. I am a few months older than him after all,” he said, with a small smile. “I thought I could do the business and meet you at the same time.”
“Oh I think it goes deeper than that,” I teased him, but I really wanted the truth without being authoritative. Come on Anton, spill it. “You grew up together?”
Anton nodded. “Nik didn’t have the happiest of childhoods and when he could, he spent a lot of time at my house when we were growing up. We were both skinny kids. Nik didn’t shoot up until he was about fourteen and then he grew about a foot a week.”
I
smiled at the thought.
“He could defend himself then, but before that well... anyway he had a real talent for soccer, it was noticed early and he was a school champion and district champion. He got signed up as a rookie for the major leagues—he was one of the youngest ever recruits.”
We glanced at Nik again as he groaned but didn’t wake up.
Anton continued. “The coach of the State squad and his wife billeted him, you know let him stay and he spent half his day at school and half at training. Sebastian and Britta—they were very good to him, treated him like a son, still do. He went on to college on a scholarship and earned more before he finished college than most of us will see in our working lives.”
I listened intently and finished for him. “So when everyone wanted a piece of him, you were one of the few that wanted nothing more than friendship, and he trusts you?”
“And I trust him,” he said. “So when he says he’s fallen in... has he said...?”
“No,” I nipped Anton’s love comment in the bud.
“Well, I assure you, he’s on the trip and when he told me that, I just wanted to check that you were sincere I guess.”
“Did I pass?” I asked Anton.
He grinned. “You are lovely Sah-sha, direct, sincere, not after anything more than his returned affection from what I can tell. I couldn’t ask for more for him.”
I smiled my thanks, not that I needed Anton’s endorsement and I kind of resented being checked out just a bit, but I appreciated his concern for Nik.
Anton cleared his throat quietly. “He’s a bit insecure with you if you don’t mind me saying. He said you are not sure of your feelings for him.”
I nodded. “I’m recently divorced and I’ve learned a few lessons,” I explained. “I know how I feel about Nik, I just wish that he wasn’t a player and I wish I met him maybe in a year or two. I’m finding my feet again.”
“I understand,” Anton said. “Odd though. Most women would love that he’s a player.”
“I work there fulltime; I don’t really want to date a player... makes it messy.” I frowned.
“He won’t always be a player and you won’t always work there,” Anton said. “In a few years you could both be on very different journeys, together.”
“That’s true.” I brightened at the thought.
“Plus, given you’ve been through a bit, maybe you both deserve a bit of happiness. But let me ask you, Sah-sha... what do you know of Nik?” Anton said, with a quick glance to the bed.
I looked over at Nik and returned my gaze to Anton. “I know what he has told me, I know he is very black and white. I wouldn’t have put us together, but Nik has no doubts. And... I’ve seen the scars.”
Anton nodded.
“Is there anything I should know now or about his past?” I asked, my eyes narrowing on Anton as I tried to read him.
He shook his head. “His past is... well his story to tell. But Sah-sha, you appear to be surrounded by love, grew up in a loving family. Nik has me, Sebastian and Britta. He is looking for that relationship that will fill him and I’m not sure if he knows how to trust or love; maybe he will rush in because he wants it so much... but you can work through that with him.” He inhaled and then tapped my knee with his webbed fingers. “I guess if I could ask one thing of you?”
I nodded, inviting him to ask me.
“Be patient. What you take for granted could scare the hell out of him.”
“Don’t worry,” I promised him with a smile, “I think that is mutual.”
We heard Nik move and we turned to look at him. He lay watching us, his eyes open and focusing on me, his eyes lit up.
“Sah-sha, you’re here,” he said in a groggy voice. Anton and I rose and went to his bedside. I reached for his hand.
“This time you can’t blame me,” I teased him. “Can’t stay out of a fight huh?”
“I think the fight came to me,” he said. “I was standing and then I wasn’t. It was like Russian was a bowling ball hurtling towards me.”
“How are you feeling now, Nik?” Anton asked.
“Very relaxed. This is a good space to be in,” he said, glancing to the intravenous line in his arm. “We should come here more, you should come here with me Sah-sha.”
Anton smiled. “Well I’m going to go back to the hotel and shower. It’s been a long day. I’ll drop in and see you tomorrow morning Nik.”
“Okay Ant, thanks for being here.” He drifted off for a minute while Anton gathered his coat, and then he came back, his eyes falling on Anton. “Is it safe?” he asked.
Anton’s eyes flicked to mine and back to Nik. “It’s safe here,” he said and patted Nik’s arm.
“Good,” Nik said. He said something in German and Anton moved closer to the bed again. He tried to get Nik to look at him and focus. They were speaking in German and I stood back to give them some privacy even though I didn’t understand them, then Nik drifted off again.
“I’m sorry about that Sah-sha,” Anton said, looking uncomfortable.
“Where do the scars come from, Anton?” I asked him directly.
“The scars...” Anton looked to Nik, debating whether to tell me.
“Ethan—you met my brother, is a counselor. He recognized them and Nik wouldn’t let me see them when we were last together. He tried to hide them. Did his foster parents do that?” I asked.
Anton still wouldn’t meet my eyes. He was watching Nik as though waiting for him to wake and answer the question. “He was fostered for a number of years. When he was seven, eight maybe, well one of his foster fathers... they removed Nik once they realized.”
I swallowed and looked at Nik. I was angry and sad. “What did he mean by safe?”
“He’s just a bit confused about where he is, a flashback you might call it. He’s okay, don’t worry,” Anton assured me. “I’ll go now. It was good to meet you. I’m pleased Nik has you.”
I kissed him on the cheek and thanked him, watching him leave. I turned back to Nik and took his hand. Ten minutes later he opened his eyes again and looked at me with a surprised expression as though he had never seen me.
“You look very beautiful, Sah-sha. I love your hat,” he said, admiring my soft felt brimmed hat.
“I was worried,” I said, stroking his hand. “I’m going to have to kill Russian.”
Nik smiled. “It’s not his fault, just bad timing. I’m really fine, just a concussion. Is Harry okay? Is Johan angry?” he asked after the coach, his words slow and slurred.
I nodded. “Harry has a sprained arm, but at least it is not broken. As for Coach, he’s pissed off and Doc is super angry, but neither of them with you.”
“Can we go now, back to your place?” he asked. “I want to watch you shower behind the glass.”
I smiled and leaned in, placing my cheek next to his.
“Soon,” I agreed.
“I love you Sah-sha,” he said, and I froze. I looked up at him but his eyes were closed and his breathing steady, as he had drifted off again.
“I love you too, Nik,” I whispered. Wow, I was getting brave, even if I was the only one to hear me say that.
Chapter 17
It was awful to see and kind of hot too—The Russian was right, the coach was working their asses into the ground. Alice and I watched from the office window. Instead of enjoying the training break, the whole team was punished for Buzz and The Russian’s in-house fighting—probably because it wasn’t the first time and Johan was trying to establish it would be the last. I could see from afar that Doc and the physio guys were pulling Nik and Harry out of the mix a fair bit to allow for their recovery.
A few journos arrived and after getting the call from reception to announce them, I left Alice and escorted them to the grounds. Johan, Shayne and I agreed earlier on the official line—the in-house fighting was to be denied and we were going with the coach giving them one final workout before letting them have four days off for the bye. I escorted the journos to the field and t
hey took some pics, had a chat with Johan and Shayne, who watered down the injuries as just the usual fallout from a match.
I tried not to look at Nik but it was impossible, what’s a girl to do? He was there training lightly and looking gorgeous, a sweat sheen on his body, and standing out in the pack. Fuck he was hot, and now I was. He glanced up at me and gave me a sexy stare with just the hint of a smile. Best not to smile when training—the coach takes that as evidence that you’re not working hard enough and will double your load.
Lucas was counting down the crunches. I could feel my body clenching in supportive agony... they would need the four days to recover. The Russian at least had the good grace to look humble, Buzz on the other hand just looked defiant—I doubted he would be re-signed at the end of the season on his behavior alone, unless he turned up such a brilliant few games that he made himself indispensable. I gave Shayne a sign that I was returning to the office and leaving the journos in his care which was our normal procedure if the media wanted to stay on for training. I took another quick peek at Nik to get my fill of him and moved on.
*****
Wednesday night I got to pick where we would go out for dinner. I hadn’t broached the subject of the weekend bye yet and if Nik was free to hang out, but I assumed he had already made plans from what Anton said. I was kind of leaving it open in case he hadn’t. God I hated that I did that, but I couldn’t help myself. I really was an all-in or all-out person when it came to relationships, just like I had been with Adam. You would think I would learn.
I took a sip of my green tea and looked at the gorgeous German man opposite me.
“Nik, I know this is only the second restaurant we’ve tried,” I said, “but if we were to keep eating out like this, how long until you go broke and we have to go back to my grilled cheeses and cheap wine for dinner?” It was my turn to choose a restaurant and I had selected Japanese tonight—we had established that we both loved our food and eating out. Trying some of the better places in town was just a bonus that I couldn’t have afforded on my own—we shared fresh sushi for starters and were now onto Teriyaki chicken and Yakizakana or grilled fish.