by Katie Reus
“You can hang out with her if you want. Just because she’s—”
“No.” He couldn’t even let Sophie finish that thought when he could hear the pain in her voice. He shifted their bodies so she had to look up at him. She stared at him with big eyes and he forgot to breathe. What he wouldn’t give to kiss her. Just once. He swallowed hard. “You think I’m that shallow?” He didn’t expand because he didn’t need to.
Smiling shyly, she shook her head and tucked it back against his shoulder. “I’m glad you don’t want to hang out with her,” she said after a few minutes of silence.
• • •
Jack hated the memory that played through his head, but he couldn’t slow it down or stop it as he tried to lift Sophie’s head without waking her. He slipped a pillow under her head, but she opened her eyes immediately. Instead of the fear he expected, her espresso-colored eyes were confused.
“What are you doing?” she mumbled.
“You fell asleep out here and I don’t want you to get a crick in your neck.” His hand hovered under her head. For a moment he stared at her parted lips. She wasn’t quite awake, still in between that dream state and awareness. What he wouldn’t give to taste her again. The soft sighs she’d been making in her sleep made him wonder what she’d been dreaming about.
“What time is it?” Her voice was quiet.
Slowly he withdrew his hand and sat on the floor even though moving away from her was the last thing he wanted to do. “A few minutes before midnight.”
She rolled over on the couch and faced him. Jack had pushed the coffee table out of the way and laid out a blanket and pillow on the floor next to the couch. In the quiet living room, slivers of moonlight peeking through the long blinds covering the sliding glass door were their only illumination. It was still light enough for her to see that he’d fashioned a makeshift bed next to her.
“Why are you out here?” There was a slight trace of panic in her whispered question.
“I’m sleeping next to you.” Occasionally he opted for boxers, but he normally slept naked. He knew that even boxers would freak her out, so he’d stayed in his jeans and T-shirt. Not exactly comfortable, but he’d dealt with a lot worse.
“Why?”
“If something happens, we need to be able to move together and quickly.”
“Oh.” She pulled the blanket up higher on her chest.
“Try to get some sleep. In the morning we have some decisions to make.” He closed his eyes and tucked one hand under his head. Sleeping next to Sophie again like this wasn’t exactly the way he’d imagined it. Once he joined the NSA he’d kept tabs on her. From afar he’d watched her develop into a beautiful woman. But beautiful women were a dime a dozen. There was something else about Sophie that called to him.
Always had.
From before they’d even spoken to each other. Jack didn’t know what it was about her that got under his skin. Maybe it was the fact that she understood where he came from. They’d both had similar upbringings. Both had grown up in foster care because of shitty drug-addicted mothers who’d abandoned them to the system. Neither knew who their fathers were. They’d both been unwanted. They were both survivors.
Of course she’d survived a lot worse than him. He’d dealt with the occasional beating from asshole foster parents, but she’d been terrorized by a sick bastard when she was seventeen. And Jack hadn’t protected her.
“Jack?” Her quiet voice cut through the even quieter night air.
“Yeah?”
“Please talk to me.” The pleading note in her voice surprised him.
It was dark, but he could make out the delicate lines of her face. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything.”
“Can’t sleep?”
Her hair rustled softly against the pillow as she shook her head.
“For what it’s worth, you’re handling this better than most civilians would.”
She chuckled and in the dark he couldn’t tell, but he thought she smiled. At least it sounded like it when she spoke. “Civilian. I guess you’ve been doing . . . whatever it is you do for a while?”
Wesley would probably be pissed if he found out, but it wasn’t as if Jack was spilling state secrets. “I’ve been working for Wesley for five years.”
“Sorry if it’s rude, but how old are you?”
“Almost thirty-one.”
“Oh.”
“What?”
She shifted again, this time onto her back. “Nothing. You just remind me of someone and he would have been the same age.”
Jack knew that he should keep his mouth shut. He should try to get some much-needed sleep. Unfortunately he didn’t give a damn about what he should do. Thoughts of Sophie had been torturing him for years. Shut your fucking mouth, he tried to tell himself again but lost the battle. “Do I remind you in a bad way or a good way?”
“Both.” Her answer was soft and immediate.
“Who was he?”
She was silent for a moment, but finally spoke. “You’ve obviously read my file, so you know I was in the foster system.”
He remained completely still against the pillow. “Yes.”
“You remind me of one of my foster brothers. His name was Sam.”
“You two were close?”
“Very . . . He meant everything to me.” The last part was almost a whisper. The honesty and grief in her words hit him square in the chest with the intensity of a fifty-cal sniper rifle. Why the hell did she have to admit that to him?
He rolled back over and stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t the best distraction, especially since her exotic, earthy scent was teasing him, but it was better than staring at her profile. When he did that it was hard to concentrate on even speaking. “What happened to him?” Jack felt like an asshole even asking since he knew the answer, but a long-buried part of him wanted to hear what she truly thought about Sam. About him.
“Life.” The word came out bitter, strangled. She cleared her throat and continued, quickly changing topics. “Do you like what you do?”
Talk about a loaded question. “Sometimes yes. Other times I wonder how different my life would have turned out if I’d made another choice.”
She snorted. “I actually understand that. The boy, well, man, I was in love with died. We weren’t even talking or friends at the time, but I’m pretty sure he’d planned to propose to me before my life turned to hell.”
Jack struggled to draw in a breath. There were some things he’d known as a young man, like the fact that she’d loved him. Sophie had never said the words, but he’d known how she felt. But she’d known he planned to propose? Don’t ask the question, he ordered himself. But there was no force on earth that could stop him. “Would you have said yes if he proposed?”
“Yes.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck. He did not need to know that. He shifted against the floor, his attempt at getting comfortable pointless. Raw energy hummed through him and he fought his growing agitation. Why the hell had she admitted that?
“You probably can’t even tell me, but do you have family?”
He scrubbed a hand over his face and shut his eyes tight. She wasn’t holding anything back. No one who got into his line of work had family. “No.”
“I guess we have that in common. We’re both alone.” Her whispered words wrapped themselves around his chest and squeezed with startling intensity.
You have me. You’ve always had me. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but of course he didn’t voice them. They wouldn’t make sense and they’d probably scare the hell out of her. He might not have been in her life, and with the exception of the last two years when he’d been deep undercover, he’d always watched out for her, wishing things could be different. It was the only way he’d been able to keep a link to her. Something that had always pissed off his boss, but it had been one of his contingencies when he was recruited.
“Jack . . . why did you kiss me in Miami?”
“
You were in shock. It was the only way to get you to calm down.” Liar.
Silence descended on the room.
He stared at the ceiling for a long moment, telling himself to stay quiet, but his mouth wouldn’t listen to his brain. Being around Sophie had completely upended all his training. She wouldn’t even have to torture him to get information out of him. “I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it, Sophie.”
She sucked in a quiet breath. “Oh—”
He didn’t know what she was going to say, but he didn’t want to hear whatever it was, so he cut her off. “It can’t happen again.” Because it would only torture him, remind him of what he could never have.
She didn’t speak after that. Instead she curled up on the couch so that her back faced him.
Why the hell couldn’t it happen again? he kept asking himself even though he knew damn well why it couldn’t. The closer he got to her, the more he let her into his life, the harder it would be when he walked away. Even the thought of walking away from her was excruciating. Actually doing it after having had another taste—he wasn’t a masochist. If he took things further, it wouldn’t just be torture, it would be impossible.
The floor beneath him dug into his back. He rolled onto his side, but that didn’t help either. Years ago while still a sniper in the Marine Corps, he’d slept sitting straight up in cramped caves in Afghanistan with no problem. Tonight, visions of Sophie’s perfect mouth swam in front of him, rendering sleep impossible. And his fantasies didn’t stop at her mouth. He kept envisioning what the rest of her looked like. It might have been years, but he knew exactly what she was hiding under those clothes. And he desperately wanted to see, touch, and stroke all of her with his mouth and hands.
Sighing, he got up, folded the blanket, and threw the pillow back onto his bed. Out of habit he rechecked the windows and doors and headed back to the living room. Sophie hadn’t stirred once since he’d gotten up. Good, maybe she’d get some rest. At least one of them should, and he’d rather it be her.
He walked to the sliding glass door and shifted one of the floor-length blinds to the side. Most of the people who stayed in the building were snowbirds, so the place was empty half the year. One of the main reasons he’d purchased it. The building was unassuming and the tenants were quiet. More often than not, hiding out wasn’t necessarily about the best security. It was about being untraceable.
Hiding in plain sight.
The intracoastal water glistened under the pale moonlight and stars. It was unlikely anyone would be out this late, but he wanted privacy if he decided to work on his laptop on the porch.
Jack started to let go of the blind when two large, dark shadows moved from behind a palm tree. The movement had been slight, but he wasn’t taking any chances. Not with Sophie’s safety.
Without making his movements overt, he let the blind slip back into place, then went to wake Sophie. Using one hand he covered her mouth. Immediately her dark eyes opened in a wide-eyed panic, but when she saw that he had one finger over his mouth, she simply nodded.
Jack removed his hand and motioned that she should follow him. It was too late to get out. If someone was outside, they’d have the entire place surrounded. He grabbed his laptop and phone and headed to his room. He also picked up her pillow and shoved it into the hallway closet. The place needed to look as if they’d left a while ago.
He opened the sliding closet door in his room and shut it behind them. It was damn near pitch–black, but he was thankful Sophie wasn’t outwardly reacting. Her breathing was slightly erratic, but that was it. Reaching up, he felt along the top shelf until his hand landed on a flashlight. Jack flipped it on and handed the computer to her. This place was off the radar, but experience had taught him to always have a contingency plan. Always.
He’d brought only one trusted friend here years ago during a long weekend of fishing: Levi Lazaro. They’d rarely gotten downtime and it was right before his buddy had tied the knot. Sort of an impromptu bachelor getaway. Even then, he still hadn’t told his friend about this. There’d been no reason to. Jack put the small flashlight in his mouth, then felt along the wall until his hand ran over the almost invisible seam. Seconds could mean their survival, so he tried to block out Sophie’s presence. Normally he wouldn’t break a sweat, but knowing that her life depended on him had changed everything. Perspiration trickled down his face and neck.
Jack pulled the wall covering away and turned his flashlight toward Sophie. He motioned for her to get inside. Without pausing she ducked down and crawled in. A muted thud sounded somewhere in the condo. He hurried in after her and pulled the false wall back into place behind him. He’d originally built this crawl space for one person. Hunched over, Sophie wordlessly stared at him, but he could see the questions in her eyes. He sat first and guided her so that she was sitting in his lap before he flipped the light off.
There wasn’t much insulation through the plaster, so it wasn’t too difficult to hear what was going on. The bedroom door creaked as it opened. Sophie tensed in his arms, so he placed what he hoped was a calming hand on her back.
The sound of the closet door sliding open caused his stomach to roil. This was it. He heard the sound of hangers sliding across the pole, a quiet curse, then the door sliding shut. Sophie’s back relaxed slightly against his chest, but he could feel the pounding of her heart.
“They’re not here,” a familiar voice said.
Jack’s entire world shifted when he heard Levi talking. He’d wondered how anyone had found this place, had briefly wondered if there was a leak in the agency—one he’d gladly ferret out—but for a friend to betray him seemed impossible. What the hell was going on?
When his friend—or former friend—continued, Jack assumed he was on the phone since there was no audible response. “No, we’ve swept the place. There are recently washed dishes and food in the kitchen trash can, so they were here earlier, but they’re gone now. . . . Yes, I’m sure. I’m not leaving a man behind. You’re being paranoid. . . . Damn it. Miguel, they’re not here. It’s not my fault you got bad intel. Find a new contact, then. . . . Fine, we’ll head back to Miami. . . . Hannah Young? . . . You’re bringing too much heat on yourself. . . . No, I’m not involving myself with her. . . . She has serious ties to the community. . . . Kidnapping her will serve you no purpose.” He argued for another few moments, then hung up the phone.
Sophie gripped Jack’s arm tightly. Her short fingernails dug into his skin, but he ignored the pricking sensation. He couldn’t tell her now, but he wouldn’t let anything happen to her friend.
Silence descended around them, so he slowly moved his arm up and pressed the backlight on his watch. It was almost one thirty. He brushed back Sophie’s hair and leaned close to her ear. “We’ll leave in one hour. Want to make sure they didn’t leave someone in the condo.”
Her hair tickled his nose as she nodded.
From Levi’s conversation, Jack couldn’t figure out if they’d decided to leave someone behind. If they had, he doubted the person would stick around long. And just what was Levi doing working with Miguel Vargas? It was possible he was undercover, but Jack’s boss hadn’t mentioned anything. Considering that they were trying to bring Vargas down, that was something Wesley would have told him. Hell, if he had an inside man it was unlikely he’d even have needed Jack. Or if he had, they would have been working in conjunction.
The way Levi had spoken to Vargas had been insubordinate, and that surprised Jack, especially if this was an undercover op. He couldn’t dwell on that now. He’d get his answers soon enough.
Sophie shifted slightly in his lap, and his body instantly reacted. Years of training had ensured that he knew how to react under any circumstances. His body was his to control. Having a sexy woman work her charm against him had never been a problem. Unfortunately Sophie wasn’t working anything. She was simply trying to get comfortable. He tried to focus on anything to take his mind off the way her petite body fit perfectly against his, but it was impossibl
e. Jack couldn’t believe he was reacting like the randy teenager he’d once been around her, but there it was. Her backside shifted against his erection, intensifying his pain. It was as if every single memory he had of their time together erupted inside his head at once. All he could think about was how they’d been in this very same position before—with no clothes on. When they were younger, he’d loved getting creative in bed and she’d been up for anything. He bit the inside of his lip, hating his lack of control. It reminded him too much of how he’d felt when he was helpless in certain shitty foster homes. When he first became friends with Sophie, she’d evoked that same feeling, but he hadn’t cared then. Now it was like a warped, out-of-control sensation.
She moved again, jerking him out of those thoughts, and this time she must have realized his reaction because her back went ramrod straight. He wanted to apologize, but there wasn’t anything he could do, so he laid his head against the wall, closed his eyes, and drew on his shittiest memories from the past decade.
Human beings sold for mere hundreds of dollars, women shot in the street for showing their ankles, images of children being forced to work in brothels . . . yep, that did it. As vicious memories assaulted him, his body obeyed. The last thing he needed was for her to think he got his rocks off like some kind of pervert. Not when nothing could happen between them anyway. Her mere presence was shredding all his hard-won control.
When he whispered in her ear that it was time to move, she jerked unsteadily. They were taking a risk exposing themselves, and as much as he enjoyed holding her, they couldn’t hide out forever. Sophie still clutched the laptop, but managed to help him remove the paneling. When they both stepped out, he motioned with his finger to stay quiet. The room was dark, but there was enough light coming in through the blinds that they could see what they were doing.