Jake shook his head and glanced at his watch.
“We didn’t protect you from our obsession.” Her voice shook and Jake felt an anger burning in his stomach. He didn’t want her words to touch him, to reawaken a yearning he’d put behind him years ago. “We missed your childhood and I know that you’d rather be anywhere but here with us, but don’t shut us out. We love you.”
“Love?” Jake recoiled from the word. “Love is for people who have nothing better to believe in. I don’t need love. I need to know if you can fix the server and then disappear back to that northern farm you think you’ll change the world from.”
A gasp from the doorway echoed through the painful silence that had followed Jake’s harsh words.
“Lil!” he said and took a few steps toward her.
She held up a hand to stop his advance. “No, don’t say anything else. I had almost convinced myself that you actually cared about me and Colby, but now I see that you’re not capable of caring for anyone, are you?”
A man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties, dressed in a brown checkered dinner jacket that didn’t look like it quite fit him—too long at the sleeves a bit loose around the waist. With zero dress sense and even less survival skills, the man chose that moment to walk over to Jake’s parents and say, “Hey, aren’t you the Waltons? This is so cool.”
Jake grabbed one of Lil’s arms as she was turning to leave. “You misunderstood what you heard.”
She gave her arm a yank, but he didn’t let it go. “Oh, I understood perfectly. You really mean all that trash you say.”
“This was not about you.” Regardless of what happened between him and Lil, chances were good that she would never see his parents again, anyway.
Lil shook her head violently. “I disagree. I feel sorry for whatever happened to you that left a black hole where your heart should be, but I can’t be with a man who thinks love is something you outgrow believing in like Santa Claus.”
“Don’t do this, Lil,” he warned.
His tone seemed to enrage her. Instead of pulling away, she went nose to nose with him and spat, “Don’t do what? Don’t expect better from you? Get your hand off of me.”
Jake didn’t. He couldn’t. He had to make her see. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
His words didn’t have the soothing effect he’d hoped for.
“That’s because I just realized that what we have is exactly that . . . nothing.” She closed her eyes as if the thought hurt her. “I can’t believe I was willing to put my friends in jeopardy for you. I’m such an idiot.”
“What are you talking about?”
Lil opened her eyes, hurt turning to anger. She tore her arm out of Jake’s grasp. “Ask Jeremy. But understand that I’m only helping you now for Abby and Dominic’s sake.”
With that she ran out of the room.
Jake’s loyalty was torn. You can only fix one problem at a time. He turned his attention to the man who was already deep in conversation with his parents. “Will someone explain to me what the hell is going on?”
Jeremy took a bite out of a crab cake and said, “Man, women will make you nuts, won’t they? First I’m asked to hack into your computer like it’s no big deal. Then I’m told I could meet two programming icons as long as I take that secret with me to the grave. Now I’m supposed to save your company by spilling what I know about the backdoor I found to your mainframe . . .”
“You found a backdoor access point?”
The young man held up a hand. “Only if it means you’re not going to prosecute me for admitting any of this. Not that you could prove it, anyway. I cover my tracks well.” He smiled at Jake’s mother, looking quite pleased with himself.
Jim interjected, “Knowing what we are dealing with is going to make all the difference. We should be able to have the server debugged in plenty of time now.”
The news didn’t bring Jake the sense of relief he thought it would.
What did this mean in terms of Lil?
He looked at Jeremy more closely, “Who are you?”
“I’m a friend of Lil’s. Well, Alethea, really. I’ve had a crush on that woman since high school.” Jeremy’s eyes widened at the audible growl Jake emitted. He quickly clarified, “Alethea, not Lil.”
“You hacked into my computer for them. That was you?”
“Yes.”
“Lil wanted to keep me away from my computer that day.”
Jeremy nodded.
The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. It had all been a lie. The date. The fake outrage that he didn’t love her. Everything. What he couldn’t understand, though, was why Lil had wanted to access his files at all? Was she working for someone? He usually had a good idea of what was happening in most situations, but this one had his head spinning and grasping at theories. “What were you looking for?”
Jeremy wiped his greasy fingers on the hem of his checkered jacket. “I knew you were paying off programmers around the country. I know you gave them hush money, but for a rich man, you are way too cheap with your bribes. Anyway, Alethea thought Abby might be in danger. Lil said she needed proof before she’d say anything to Abby.” Jeremy shrugged. “I probably shouldn’t have accessed your computer, but I have a hard time saying no to Alethea. However, I got in by piggybacking on a backdoor code that I stumbled on. It was surprisingly easy so I went deeper than your email. The hacker community is not all that big. I took a guess that someone had been there before me and I was right.” He smirked. “It was that West Coast weasel, Sliver. He’s pathetically predictable when it comes to his attack codes and, luckily, his passwords, too. He had complete access to your mainframe. I changed his password just to piss him off. He thinks he’s big-time because he’s caused some crashes that have made the news.” He rolled his eyes. “He’s an idiot.”
All this from a man who looked like he’d dressed himself in a dark closet back in the 1950s. Jake had been around long enough to understand that appearances did not equate to performance. Some of the best code writers on his team looked like they hadn’t seen the light of day in years and to say that their social skills were quirky would have been kind.
Jake said, “You’ve just changed the outcome of the game. Trust me, you’ll be well compensated for whatever information you can give us.”
“I don’t want your money,” Jeremy said.
“What do you want?”
Jeremy rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I’m a smart guy. I may not have your level of wealth, but I’ve made enough selling apps and codes that I’m comfortable. There is one area that I seem to require some assistance in, however.”
“Name it.”
“You need to make me into a man that Alethea would want to date.”
You couldn’t have asked for something easier like world peace or an end to global hunger?
From what Jake had heard about Lil’s friend, this guy was dreaming way out of his league. Alethea would eat him alive. She was a shark and he was a sheep, albeit very intelligent one.
Jake sought help from Victor Andrade. “Are they spiking the drinks with crazy at the party?”
Victor put a supportive hand on Jake’s shoulder and said, “Son, the only one who is crazy is you if you let Lil get away. When you find a woman who is willing to risk everything for family and then for you—you marry that woman. Go tell her that you love her before it’s too late.”
“But I don’t . . .”
The truth hit him in the stomach like a sledgehammer.
Memories of their time together flooded his mind. Lil studying at her kitchen table. Lil naked beneath him. Lil beaming with pride as she held up her daughter’s artwork.
His stomach twisted painfully.
Lil at the top of the stairs, easily the most beautiful woman in the room, and yet still anxiously scanning the room as if she weren’t sure she belonged. And, finally, Lil’s smile when she saw him waiting for her at the bottom of the steps. He wanted to spend the rest of his l
ife with that smile, that woman.
I do.
I do love her.
Victor tightened his hand on his shoulder. “None of this is worth a damn thing if you have no one to share it with. Go find her, Jake. When you do, don’t let your pride speak for you. Pride knows nothing about love. Tell her you love her. Tell her you need her. Don’t leave until she believes you.”
Jake turned to leave and paused. He looked back at his parents. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to say to them, but it was difficult not to be moved by the tears he saw well in his mother’s eyes. She said, “Go on, Jake. We’ll be here when you get back.”
He nodded.
Jeremy said, “Hey, what about me?”
Without hesitation, Jake threw his best friend under the bus. “Dominic is much better at that kind of thing than I am. Tell him that I said he owes you a favor—a huge personal favor. Then tell him what you need.”
Just before exiting the door, Jake stopped and added, “You might not want to mention the part about accessing our mainframe. I’ll explain it to him later.”
A dead Jeremy couldn’t help anyone.
Now, where would Lil go?
Chapter Fifteen
How could I have been such a fool?
Lil fought to hold back the tears that were surging within her. It wasn’t like Jake had ever lied to her. He’d clearly said that he didn’t love her. Why do women try to read emotion into everything a man says when really the translation was much less impressive?
“I want you,” simply meant “I want to have sex with you.”
“Live with me,” meant “I want to have sex with you on a regular basis.”
“Marry me,” meant “I’m willing to share my stuff to have sex with you.”
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
“Lil?” Her sister met her in the hallway, blocking her escape up the stairs.
Oh, great, Abby. Lil tried to stretch her trembling lips into a smile and knew she failed by the concern she saw in her sister’s eyes.
Even worse, Dominic appeared behind Abby.
Lil spoke to their shoes. “I won’t ruin your big night. I just need a few minutes to freshen up.”
Abby took her by the hand and simply held on until she looked up and met her eyes. “Lil, I don’t care about any of this if you’re not happy. What happened? I saw you and Jake earlier and you both looked like you were having a great time.”
Lil sobbed her confession into one hand. “I fell in love with him, but he doesn’t feel the same.”
Dominic crossed his arms. “This is why he has to marry her.”
Abby shook her head. “Not now, Dom.”
“You like seeing your sister like this?”
“No, but you can’t make people work out their issues.” Abby’s reasonable tone was not mirrored by her fiancé.
“Watch me.”
Lil sniffed and saw the love behind the tornado. She’d misjudged Dominic. He wasn’t a fantasy and he did love her sister. That his love for Abby extended to her family was humbling. Lil impatiently wiped away a tear and said, “Dominic, it will be a proud day for me when you marry my sister and I get to call you my brother.”
Dominic puffed up with pride. He smiled down at his fiancé. “See, Lil agrees with me.”
Abby shook her head and hugged her sister. “What are you going to do, Lil?”
Lil lifted her chin up and said, “I’m going to compose myself and then I am going to go back into the party and enjoy hearing you formally announce your engagement.”
Abby pulled back a bit and looked her sister in the eye. “And?”
Lil nodded as she made her inner resolution. “And then I’m going to return to Boston and look for a job.”
Dominic said, “I own several companies in Boston. Name a job and you’ll have it.”
Lil smiled at her new protector, grateful for the millionth time recently that her sister had found happiness. Maybe one day she would find the same for herself. Rebellion was replaced by self-awareness. Her words were simply said and held no anger. “I don’t want your charity, Dominic.”
“There is no such thing as charity when it comes to family,” Dominic countered.
“I don’t even know what I want to do, Dom. I might take an office job for now and sign up for some art classes. I have so much I need to figure out.”
“How about an entry-level position in a graphic design department? I’ll tell people I don’t even like you. You could sink or swim on your own,” Dominic said.
“You would do that?” Lil asked, grateful that he understood.
Abby wrapped an arm around her future husband’s waist and laughed up at him. “You are so full of it, Dom. I bet you couldn’t go a week without calling her department head and threatening to fire him if he wasn’t nice to her.”
“Woman, you sorely underestimate me.”
Watching the banter between the two of them removed the last of Lil’s resistance. People found jobs every day by using their connections. Lil held out her hand to Dominic. “I accept your job offer.”
A wide smile spread across his face as he shook her hand.
Lil added, “But I don’t need your help with Jake. If we ever work it out, it will be on our terms, not yours.”
Dominic started to say something and Lil cut him off. “I mean it. Promise to stay out of it.”
Dominic promised nothing, but he did say, “You and Abby are so much alike.”
The two sisters smiled at that.
Abby hugged her husband-to-be again. “Lil, that means that he’s going to try, but he doesn’t know if he can help himself.”
“Do you translate everything I say because I’m not speaking English?” Dominic asked with some amusement.
“Exactly, you speak some dialect of barbarian dictator most of the time,” Lil teased.
Dominic bent down and growled playfully at Abby, “Barbarian, huh? I know how much you like that.”
“Okay,” Lil interrupted with a laugh. “I’m heading back into the party. You two just follow when you’re ready.”
She walked halfway down the hallway before turning slighting to check if they were following.
They weren’t.
And it didn’t look like they would be for quite a while.
Lil turned away with resolve.
I want to love and be loved like that.
I want the fairy tale.
Jake spotted Lil the instant she walked through the door. He cut through diplomats and royalty with neither subtlety nor etiquette. He had to get to her side before she disappeared again.
“Lil,” he said, “we need to talk.”
She nodded calmly and allowed him to guide her into a room across the hall. He closed the door and his concern grew when she didn’t fly at him with accusations.
She surprised him again with softly spoken words. “Jake, I am so sorry for everything I’ve put you through. I was looking for answers in the wrong places.” He went to take her in his arms, but she moved away from him and continued. “No, I need to say this. I shouldn’t have said what I did in front of your parents. I’m the last one who should judge anyone for how they deal with their family. I can’t believe mine is still intact after what I’ve put it through. I—”
“It’s okay, Lil.”
“No, it’s not. Words hurt and you didn’t deserve my anger. You never lied—which is more than I can say about myself.”
“I understand why you did it.” He did. The more he’d thought about what she’d done, the more his anger had been replaced by admiration. That same fierce love that he knew she had for her daughter had driven her to protect her sister . . . and then, unbelievably, him.
He couldn’t remember the last person who had risked anything for him, and Lil had risked everything. He needed to make her see that they belonged together.
“Do you? Do you really—because I’m still trying to figure out if I did it to protect Abby or because I wanted something to be wrong with her h
appy ending. I’ve wasted so much time falsely thinking we were in some sort of competition. I finally see that her happiness doesn’t threaten mine. I’ll find my own way. I believe that now.”
Something about her tone warned him that this was goodbye and he refused to accept that possibility. “I love you, Lil.”
She looked up at him from beneath her long, beautiful lashes, her amber eyes brimming with emotion. “Don’t. Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
He took her arms in his hands and held her before him. “I love you.”
When he’d imagined her reaction to his declaration, he pictured her throwing her arms around him and the passion that would follow. Her steady stare was disappointing and disconcerting.
“You don’t believe in love. You’ve said that more than once.”
“I was wrong.”
She studied him quietly, then shook her head. “No, you were honest and I appreciate that. You’re a good man, Jake.”
Then why does this still sound like goodbye?
“What do you want, Lil?” He heard the emotion in his own voice and didn’t care. She couldn’t leave like this.
“I’m not sure yet, but I know what I don’t want. I don’t want to continue our casual beginnings, I don’t want to ever lie to you again, and I don’t want to settle for less than everything.”
“Everything?” What more was there? “I’ve told you that I’ll marry you.”
One tear rolled down her cheek silently. “It’s not enough, Jake. I want the lover, the best friend, the hero.”
“You think I can’t be that?” Hell, Dominic’s fist had hurt less.
Lil shrugged sadly and looked away. “Dominic offered me a job in Boston and I’m going to take it. It’ll be a creative job and I’ll take an art class or two. I have to find my footing.”
“So, that’s it?” He strove for calm. “You want to end this?”
“I don’t know.”
“I do.” He kissed her with everything he was feeling. He kissed her until she was shaking with passion against him. “Stay,” he whispered. “We’ll figure the rest out.”
The Legacy Collection Box Set Page 33