Proving rather clearly that my instincts are correct and he doesn’t have feelings for me. He is probably counting the minutes until he boots me out of this limo and drives off—probably never to see me again.
Which is fine.
At least then I have my answer and I can go back to focusing on the real reason I came to the United States in the first place. For me.
I don’t need a man to make me happy or successful. I may not be a good office clerk, but I’ll find my way.
Her dream job at WIT was now interwoven with too many memories of Jeremy. But it’s not the only university working on a humanitarian grant. I’m good with politicians and mingling with corporate giants. I could be a professional fund-raiser anywhere.
There are a lot of things I can do.
I haven’t given myself enough time to find where I belong.
She studied Jeremy’s profile as he read over another document on his tablet.
Just where I don’t.
The limo pulled up at the front of her apartment building and the driver opened the door for her. She hesitated. This may be the last thing I ever say to Jeremy. I don’t want it to end on this sour note.
He put down his tablet. “I’ll pick you up around ten on Thursday morning. The Andrades have requested everyone be there by two.”
Jeisa’s eyes flew to his, trying to read him but finding nothing there but cold determination. “I told you that I’m not going.”
“And I told you that you are.”
“It’s not like you can threaten to fire me. I already quit. I’m not working under contract, so legally you can’t force me to go.”
“Be ready at ten.”
“Or what?” Jeisa asked, confused with how she could be both angry and excited by his refusal to accept her answer.
He leaned over, slid a hand beneath her hair, and pulled her face to his. He tasted her hungrily, pulling her out of her seat, and Jeisa lost the battle against her own restraint. She was kneeling between his legs, drowning in the heat of his kiss, trying to remember all the reasons she didn’t belong there. He kissed her jaw and whispered into her ear, “Or I will close that door and make love to you right here until you say yes.”
Jeisa could barely hear him over her own ragged breathing. He means it.
And I want it.
She shook herself mentally.
Saying yes would only prolong the pain of uncertainty.
Saying no would gain her an immediate pleasure that wouldn’t prove anything more than what she already knew—she was hopelessly, helplessly in love with him.
She sat back on her heels and implored, “Just let me go, Jeremy.”
His jaw tightened and his eyes darkened with emotion. “No. You promised me you would go with me and you will, even if I have to track you down and drag you there.” He ran a thumb over her lips. “Although we may both enjoy that option, too.”
Jeisa stood on shaky legs and stepped out of the limo, temporarily too stunned to reply.
“See you Thursday,” Jeremy said and joined her on the curb, taking her overnight bag away from the driver and handing it to her doorman himself.
Jeisa grabbed her bag from the doorman. “I no longer work for Mr. Kater, Tim. I’d appreciate it if you don’t let him in anymore.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Tim said.
In a steel tone, Jeremy said, “No one will stop me from taking you with me on Thursday.”
“There is nothing attractive about a domineering man,” Jeisa snapped.
He leaned down and whispered in her ear, “Then why do you look like you’d love to invite me upstairs?”
Her head jerked back in denial. “I do not.”
He traced her jaw with his thumb, moving on to part her eager lips. Her breath came in short, excited breaths against his hand. “Yes, you do.”
She slapped his hand away. “A man with more experience would understand the difference between anger and desire.”
The corners of his eyes wrinkled with humor. “Then it sounds like I need more experience.”
With a stream of choice Portuguese phrases, Jeisa turned away from him and headed into her apartment building.
Tim beat her to the door and opened it for her, then returned to Jeremy’s side and asked, “Tough trip?”
“Best of my life,” Jeremy answered with a smile, then whistled as he reentered the limo.
Chapter Nine
The next day, Jeremy did answer Alethea’s phone call. “Jeremy, thank God. I started to worry when you weren’t picking up.”
Jeremy sat back in his office chair at the Corisi building and propped his feet on his desk. “I was busy.”
“Well, get unbusy and back to Tenin because we have a problem.”
“What is it?”
“You know how I get feelings about stuff, right? Well, my instincts tell me that something is seriously wrong here.”
Was it possible that she’d heard about Jeisa and was jealous?
The answer mattered as little to Jeremy as the project out there did.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not this week, anyway.”
“Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“I heard you. Did you hear me?”
Alethea sighed angrily. “What the hell is wrong with you, Jeremy? This is your project. Don’t you care if it falls apart?”
Not when he was fighting for something much more important. “Call me if you find something concrete. Otherwise, I’ll fly over next week and check everything out myself. Deal?”
“No, that’s not acceptable. What if—”
“Bye, Alethea. We’ll talk next week.”
“Do not hang up on me, Jeremy.”
He did. Alethea thrived on drama. In the past he would have let her drag him into whatever crazy scheme she was hatching—one to combat a crisis that, chances were, didn’t actually exist. Not this time.
He finally had something to lose.
And he was damned if he was going to.
He picked up the office phone and called the downstairs desk at Jeisa’s apartment building. “Tim, do you have a minute to talk?”
“Mr. Kater?”
“Yes, it’s me, Tim. I need some help and you’re the only person I can think of to ask. Can I send a car to pick you up?”
“I’m working, Mr. Kater.”
“When does your shift end?”
After a short pause, Tim answered, “Two hours.”
“Great. I’ll send my driver then.”
“Mr. Kater, I have a wife and kids. I can’t do anything illegal.”
That stopped Jeremy short. “Tim, I want to go pick out a ring for Jeisa and I need a second opinion. What did you think I was asking you to do?”
Tim laughed with apparent relief. “I don’t know.”
Jeremy continued, “I just figured that you’re married so you chose correctly once. I can pay you for the time if you want.”
Tim answered in a slightly offended tone. “You don’t have to pay me.”
Jeremy dropped the arrogant tone he caught himself using more now. “Tim, I’m sorry. Let me start over. I really want to pick the right ring for Jeisa and I value your opinion. Do you mind meeting me when you get off work? I want to buy the ring today. And don’t call me, Mr. Kater. I’m Jeremy.”
“Okay, Jeremy. I’ll go, but I don’t know about rings. My wife picked her own.”
Hmm. “Do you think she’d come with us?”
Tim laughed. “Are you serious?”
“Never more so.”
Tim said slowly, “We’d have to get a babysitter.”
Money might not solve all problems, but it certainly made many easier to deal with. “I can pay for that. It’s the least I could do. Hey, and after we pick a ring I’ll lend you the limo and driver for the night. You could take your wife out for a nice dinner or something.”
“She’d love that,” Tim said, and then added with more enthusiasm, “She’d probably love everything about this.” He laug
hed. “I’ll call her and have her meet me here. She can have her sister watch the kids.”
Inspiration hit Jeremy. “Better than that, I’ll have a limo pick her up and bring her to get you. You can both meet me at the jeweler’s.” He smiled into the phone and added, “I’ll have my secretary book a room for you at the Ritz-Carlton in case she really loves it. Don’t worry about paying. This is on me.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, unless you don’t want me to.”
Without hesitation Tim said, “No, I’m in. I can’t remember the last date I had with my wife. If I’m lucky I’ll have to call in sick tomorrow.”
Jeremy shook his head. Tim was honest and funny, and beginning to feel like something his years of isolation had cheated him of—a friend.
“Here’s hoping you do, Tim. See you in two hours.”
“Thanks, Jeremy. And, uh, sorry I thought you were asking me to assist in a kidnapping.”
Jeremy chuckled. I bet Dominic gets those comments all the time. This is so awesome.
He forced himself to sound serious. “No problem. See you at the jeweler’s.”
“Yes,” Tim said, “see you then.”
Jeremy was still chuckling ten minutes later when he walked into Dominic’s office to drop off a report. Dominic looked up from his desk and scowled at Jeremy. “What the hell is so funny?”
Jeremy shook his head and bit back a laugh. “You wouldn’t get it.”
Which only deepened the scowl. Jeremy burst out laughing. He knew he should stop, but he couldn’t help himself. He retreated from the room before Dominic lost his temper and jumped his desk to get him.
Someday they might be in a place where he could tell Dominic the whole story, but they weren’t there yet.
Two days later, Jeisa still hadn’t left her house. She didn’t bother to change out of the shorts and T-shirt she’d worn to bed the first night, since she didn’t have a job to report to. She threw her hair back in a ponytail, grabbed an aptly named carton of Chocolate Therapy ice cream and a cup of black coffee, and dragged a thick blanket from the closet to make a comforting nest on her couch.
Day two of the pity party.
She opened the carton and flipped on the TV.
News? No, too depressing.
Daytime talk show? Too happy.
Documentary? Too much trouble to find a good one.
She considered calling her friends in Santo Amaro, but they hadn’t understood her desire to move to the United States in the first place. Why work when you don’t have to? Why leave a life where everything is given to you? Because I’m tired of the rules. Be good. Be quiet. Be beautiful. Just don’t be yourself.
She chose a station that played soft music without words. The last thing she needed was to hear someone singing about loving and losing. She put the half-eaten ice cream on the coffee table in front of her couch and tucked herself beneath the blanket.
What am I doing?
Hiding.
Wallowing.
Hating myself for caring that Jeremy hasn’t called me.
It didn’t matter that she’d rehearsed exactly what to say when he did call, or that each version included telling him it was over. Over almost as soon as it began. Memories of the two of them, enjoying each other intimately and wondrously, kept sneaking in and threatening what was otherwise an anti-Jeremy self-pep talk. Okay, I’m awful at relationships. I panic and run. Does admitting it bring me closer to recovery?
A light rap on her door echoed through her apartment. She flipped off the music channel. She threw back the blanket and thought, I’m not ready to see anyone. Usually Tim called upstairs for guests. The only one he’d ever let through unannounced was Jeremy. Used to let through, she stressed to herself. I told Tim not to admit him.
Jeisa rushed to the mirror and groaned. Oh, my God, I look awful. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and the shadows beneath her eyes were prominent. And her hair was taking the elastic as a suggestion rather than a restraint, defiantly sticking out here and there. She looked hastily around the room. There was still a pile of tissues on the kitchen counter left from when she’d broken into tears while looking for a midnight snack. Two days of dirty dishes were stacked on the counter.
I guess I don’t have to look good when I tell him for the final time that I don’t want to see him again.
Jeisa opened the door slowly and almost slammed it again when she saw who was there.
Marie, in all her perfectly groomed glory, smiled politely at her as if she were meeting Jeisa for their weekly lunch rather than visiting her apartment for the first time. “Jeisa! I’m so glad you’re home. I tried to call you but you weren’t answering your phone, so I thought I’d drop by and check to make sure you’re okay. I hope you don’t mind.”
Which reminded Jeisa that she’d turned her phone off during the tour of the university. Shit! How could I have forgotten to turn it back on?
Because you had other things on your mind, she mocked herself.
Maybe Jeremy did call.
I don’t care, she declared to herself.
“May I come in?” Marie inquired.
Jeisa shook her head to clear it. “Of course, Marie. I’m sorry. Come in.” She stepped back to allow the older woman entry.
Marie walked past her, looked around, then turned her attention back to Jeisa, who was squirming with embarrassment. Jeisa rushed to put some dishes in the sink. “Don’t mind the mess.” She took the blanket off the couch and threw it in the bedroom, closing the door quickly behind her. “Would you like to sit?” Jeisa asked, then groaned when Marie picked the spot next to the melting carton of ice cream.
“Are you ill? I have a fabulous doctor who actually does house calls. No one does that anymore, but I’m old-fashioned like that,” Marie said with concern.
Jeisa sat across from her on a chair and hugged a pillow to her stomach. “No. No. I’m fine. Would you like something to drink?”
Marie took another quick look around the room and shook her head. “Jeisa, I came to apologize.”
Jeisa’s grip on the pillow tightened as she waited.
“I shouldn’t have encouraged Jeremy to take you to San Francisco. I shouldn’t have pushed, but from the moment I met you, I thought you’d be perfect for him. You’re sophisticated, well educated, and kind—exactly what Jeremy needed. And, to some extent, I was right. The difference between him before he met you and now is indescribable. You didn’t just give him a makeover, you gave him confidence.”
I gave him more than that, Jeisa thought wryly.
“Thank you,” Jeisa said thickly, her mouth dry from nerves.
“He’s a good man.”
“I know he is.”
“But he hasn’t had a lot of experience with dating.”
I’m intimately aware of that also, Jeisa thought, but said nothing.
“A man like that may not know how to express himself well. He may be shy about things that another man wouldn’t be.”
Any less shy and I wouldn’t have been able to walk off the plane, Jeisa thought and stifled a giggle that stemmed more from nervousness than real humor.
Marie continued, “I thought for sure the two of you would come back from your trip as a couple. You can tell me that it’s none of my business, but was it awful?”
Jeisa laid her hands over both of her flushed cheeks and said, “It was wonderful. He was wonderful.” She closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her strength. When she opened them, Marie was looking at her with so much sympathy that Jeisa nearly broke down into tears.
“Then why do you look so miserable, dear?”
One tear escaped down Jeisa’s cheek and she hastily wiped it away. “It’s over.”
“Because it’s easier to end it now than risk losing him to Alethea?”
She hated that Marie knew exactly what she’d spent the last two days trying to deny to herself. Jeisa nodded and another tear spilled forth. “Does that make me weak?”
“No, swe
etie, it makes you human. Love is terrifying sometimes. To experience it fully, you have to give yourself to it and trust that it won’t trample your offering. Did you take my advice and give him a little encouragement?”
Jeisa blushed. More than a little. “Yes.”
“And?”
Hugging the pillow to her again, Jeisa confessed, “He said he loves me.”
“But you don’t believe him.”
“No.”
“You’ve put him in an interesting position—one in which a man either decides to prove himself or walks away.”
With her throat thick with emotion, Jeisa asked, “Did he talk to you about the trip?”
“He wouldn’t say a word about it so I knew something went wrong. What did he do?”
“It wasn’t him, it was me,” Jeisa admitted. “I panicked. I told him that I don’t want to see him again and that I won’t go to Thanksgiving.”
“And what did he have to say about that?”
Jeisa smiled at the memory. “He said he’d drag me there if necessary.”
Marie looked pleased with Jeremy’s threat. “Good for him. It’s nice to see him going after what he wants.”
Jeisa blushed a deeper red. Her mouth opened to say something and then snapped shut when nothing came to mind. Finally she said, “It’s not that simple, Marie.” Taking a shaky breath, Jeisa asked, “How do I compete with someone he has spent his whole life wanting?”
“You don’t. You trust him to make the right decision, and you go with him to Thanksgiving. What’s the alternative? Sitting here and finishing that carton alone?”
Jeisa imagined the weekend gathering: the Andrades, the Corisis, possibly even Jeremy’s mother. “I don’t know if I can do it. I don’t have a great track record with men. I tend to believe them even when evidence for why I shouldn’t piles up, and then I end up in a worse situation. How many times do I have to be wrong before I learn to trust my head instead of my heart?”
Marie stood. “I hope you never learn that. I certainly haven’t.”
The Legacy Collection Box Set Page 65