Eventually, I look in the mirror and conclude I don’t look half bad. I expected red eyes and runny mascara. After a couple of deep breaths, I pull my hands through my hair and decide it’s safe to leave the bathroom.
“I’m sorry,” he says, looking at me seriously.
Eh? For what? It’s not his fault I’m drunk, nor that I can’t find my room. What does he mean? Am I really that drunk? Fortunately, he explains himself straight away.
“That I couldn’t be there on the dance floor with you.”
Oh. So, he did want to dance with me?
He crosses his arms in front of his chest and pauses, as if to give me time to let his words sink in. He walks up to me slowly. Like a panther approaching his prey.
“I couldn’t keep my eyes off you all night, Nina. There’s nothing I would have loved more than to dance with you, just like you were dancing with Peter. But I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
Okay... Now wait a minute. Let’s put this one on hold and do a quick analysis:
He knows my name. How does he know? We just met today.
He knows the other man I was dancing with. That one’s not hard to figure out, he was also American, so probably it’s one of his colleagues from the States.
He likes me and wanted to dance with me. See? My charms did have effect on him!
Finally, what the hell doesn’t he want me to take the wrong way?
I don’t understand a thing. This keeps getting weirder and weirder. Nonetheless, I’m intrigued.
“Did you really think that show you were putting on was necessary to get my attention? You had my attention from the moment I first saw you.”
Nasty noodles ... is this a dream? Finally, this sex god is speaking the words I’ve been wanting to hear all night. Wow.
His words suddenly pull me out of my drunken state of mind. The haze dissolves and makes room for euphoria. All of a sudden, I’m wide awake. It must be the adrenaline.
“So, why didn’t you dance with me? Why didn’t you respond in any way?” I find myself whispering, in an attempt to make this moment less intense.
After a long pause and a deep sigh, he says, “Fuck it. Let’s dance, Nina.” I see him swipe his Smartphone a couple of times and then my favorite song comes on. The song I wanted so desperately to dance to with him.
He presses his body against mine and takes my breath away as he starts to move slowly. We slow-dance and I feel him. His strong arms around my waist. The hard muscles of his chest through his shirt. I smell him. His fresh minty breath with a whiff of alcohol. He presses his face against my shoulder. He breathes me in and sighs.
His cheek brushes my hair. “You smell delicious and I think your dress is absolutely stunning.” His hand is in the small of my back, his thumb seductively caressing my spine. “You are gorgeous.”
His words and the way he speaks them gives me goose bumps. His beautiful lips have all kinds of fantasies going through my mind.
I’m completely flabbergasted by the emotions he unleashes inside of me. My fingertips trace his chest on their own and I tremble. He takes my hand and raises it to his lips. I hear him whisper, “Don’t be afraid. I would never hurt you.”
Hushed. I’m completely hushed by this man. He stirs things inside of me I didn’t even know existed and that I’ve never felt before. What are these feelings? I can’t say. They come from deep inside of me. It’s like I know this man and he knows me. Really knows me. Not the Nina I show to the world, the confident Nina who never doubts herself. The real Nina. The scared Nina. The Nina that feels so fucking alone.
“I know who you are, Nina.” The words leave his lips slowly. They are full of emotion. He doesn’t say anything more, as if he wants to give me time to adjust to all of this.
“What was that stunt you pulled with the toilet paper?” Why am I asking him this? What I really wanted to ask was what the hell he’s talking about. What does he mean I know who you are and what is that wrong impression he doesn’t want me to get? I think my brain is officially broken.
“That toilet paper was a special message to you. That you’ve made an impression on me. That I was indeed looking at you in the crowd and at nobody else. That you had my undivided attention.” He speaks these words very slowly, mere whispers in my ear. We are still moving to the rhythm of the music. It feels like a dream. This cannot be real, can it?
“As much as I would love to be closer to you, I will not. No, I cannot become just one of your little random adventures. That will never be enough for me.”
Wow. Okay. Obviously, I’m flattered and it’s a huge boost for my ego that this god of a man wants to be closer to me. But on the other hand, I feel offended. He talks about me as if I’m some slut, fucking one guy after the other. I’m not, am I? I don’t know whether to be angry or thrilled.
Apparently, I’m angry. Before I can stop myself, the words come flying out. “Thanks for giving me your honest opinion on the matter.”
Resolutely, I turn around and head for the door. I should get out of here. I have to get to bed. Maybe this is a dream. Or a nightmare. He gives me so many mixed signals, I don’t understand half of what’s coming out of his mouth. One moment, I think he likes me, the other moment, he talks as if I’m a whore. Maybe, in the morning, when my head is clear again, I’ll finally understand what’s going on here.
He grabs hold of my elbow and roughly turns me around. “God, Nina.” He holds my face in his big hands. “Do you have any idea how much I want you?”
What happens next is a kiss that is unprecedented. Our mouths clash together. Everything inside of me accelerates up to the speed of light, while I let myself get dragged along by a deep passion. It’s more than lust and I want him so badly, it scares me a little.
Our mouths investigate each other in a desperate kind of way. Any rational thoughts are wiped out completely. My hands fly up to his hair. When he pulls me entirely against his body, there’s not an inch left between us. My head’s spinning. His lips slide to my ear, my throat, my shoulder. His hands, those wonderful hands, slide from my back further down and grab my ass tightly.
In the meantime, I’m happy and relieved. What appeared to turn into a complete fiasco, seems to have skyrocketed to a huge success after all. Mission accomplished! I’m heading for the most amazing one-night stand of my life. In my head, a small party is taking place. Go Nina, it’s your birthday!
That’s not the only thought rushing through my mind. So many thoughts and feelings grab hold of me. Happiness. Pleasure. Fear. But also doubt. I don’t understand how we ended up here.
Then I feel his hands on the back of my thighs as he lifts me up quickly. Wow, he’s strong! I wrap my legs around him and God almighty, my mind goes totally blank. I am completely and utterly lost in this moment. I’ve never experienced such passion, such intensity, and such an insane chemistry ever before.
And then something happens. Well, actually, nothing happens! He simply stops. He puts me down gently and lets go of me. My stomach tightens as he takes a step back and looks into my eyes. I recognize the trouble he’s having trying to pull himself out of this situation. He’s out of breath and I can almost see his heart beating wildly in his throat. His jaws are clenched together firmly, and he swallows hard. For a moment, he looks nervous.
Then, I hear longest monologue in the history of my life. Some sort of declaration of love.
“When we make love, Nina, I will be the only one whom you will want to make love with for the rest of your life. There will be no more random adventures. You will not want them anymore. Your head and your heart will be mine and no one else’s. You will want me like you’ve never wanted anyone, and I will be the first and the last man you will ever feel that way about. That moment will come when you will realize that you deserve better than all those meaningless flings. That you deserve someone who worships you. Who loves you with all of his soul and who wants only the best for you.
“I am that person. I will be there for y
ou when you realize that you’re worth it, and that that is worth changing for. When you let go of your fears and really dare to live. Without holding back. Without fear of being yourself. I will help you get there, I will help you realize, no, believe that it’s possible and that the Nina who dares to give her heart away really exists. I will chase you like no man has ever chased you before. I want you. All of you. Not just one wild night, but all of your nights and I won’t accept any less, Nina.”
I’m so utterly flabbergasted by this unexpected turn of events, I need a minute to take in all he said.
“You’re in room thirty-four. I’ll walk with you.” He turns around and starts walking away from me. He gestures over his shoulder for me to follow him.
“You’ll walk with me? What do you mean?” I ask him, stunned. Is he really sending me to my room now? After all that ferocious kissing and touching? After that romantic love declaration? And what about my room number? I though he said we would figure that out! What the hell?
Despite my confusion, I’m still turned on. It’s physically and mentally arousing. But at the same time, I’ve been kicked off cloud nine very unkindly and my tired mind is trying to comprehend what’s happening. He’s saying all this stuff no one’s ever said to me before and it makes me feel very flattered, but at the same time, I simply can’t believe any of it. This man can’t possibly know me, can he? How can he be so convinced about wanting to spend his life with me?
“What the heck were we doing just now then?” I feel my eyes bulging out of my head, my eyebrows raised so high they almost reach my hairline, while the question flies out of my mouth that apparently has a will of its own.
His explanation is nothing short of confusing. “This is us. A taste of how things could be between us. If you want them to.”
Is that a rejection or an invitation? Okay, Nina, turn on your brain. You’ve got this.
I was under the impression this man would be interested in a sexcapade. But as it turns out, he wants more. He wants a relationship. My plan, my mission, was to have a sexcapade with him, not a relationship! Maybe I should give him the impression that I too want something serious, that way I could get my one-night stand and walk away. But the problem is ... I can’t. I can’t lie to this man. I don’t understand everything that he just said to me, but I do get that he’s being completely honest with me. I believe he means every word he says to me. I can feel it. I can see it in his eyes.
If my life were a highway, I would be driving around in desperate circles now.
Chapter 10 - Stellina
NINA
I’m lying on my side, watching him sleep in his giant king-sized bed. His chest rises and falls with his steady breathing and I suck in a deep breath, his delicious scent overtaking me, rendering me unable to keep my eyes off him. He looks so peaceful, it gives me a sense of peace as well. It feels familiar, like I belong here. Like there’s no other place in this world I should be. I could lie here forever.
His breath caresses my face and a sense of contentment washes over me. I feel at home, which is ridiculous, because I really don’t know him, and he doesn’t know me. What are we doing here? What the heck am I doing?
The shock of my alarm going off pushes me up on my elbows and I grab my cell, quickly silencing it. What a horrible sound! Is it that late already? Or is it still early? And why the hell is my alarm going off on a Saturday?
Snails on Snickers... I suddenly realize something. Did he watch me while I was asleep as well? If so, he probably witnessed me drooling all over his sheets, with my terrible morning breath. How on earth did he manage to fall asleep with me snoring right next to his ear anyway?
Wow ... I feel dreadful. Like Penny Dreadful. Slowly but powerfully, my brain starts pounding and a stinging pain starts to emerge. I think I only slept for a couple of hours because I’ve been watching him for some time now.
“Good morning,” I hear him say in a hoarse, sleepy voice. He opens his beautiful eyes, looks at me, and gives me that incredible smile of his, the one with the dimples. I could drown in that smile. He should do it more often. It seems he’s not troubled by the same fog that’s clouding my head, but come to think of it, that’s not so weird—I’m the one who wanted to get drunk. More till we hit the floor ...
“Sorry, that was my phone alarm.” My wasted brain makes it very hard for me to get a proper sentence out in English. In my head, I turn Google Translate on. Otherwise, I won’t get far today with this mysterious American God.
He grabs me by the waist with both of his arms and pulls me towards him. Softly, he kisses the spot right below my ear and lets out a deep sigh. We are both lying on our sides now, facing each other. I try to breathe on him as little as possible. I wouldn’t want to nauseate him with my alcohol-filled breath.
“No worries. I’m glad you stayed. Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to your room?” Clear, honey-colored eyes hold my gaze, and appear to see right through me.
“I am,” I reply, as casually as I can manage, yet I’m anything but confident at the moment. I actually have no idea what I’m doing. Normally, at this point. I would start gathering my things in a hurry, and run. So why I am not doing just that right now? Despite my insecurity, I feel relaxed and at ease. “This a completely new situation for me. I have no clue how this works.”
Am I giggling like a little girl now? Come on, Nina!
“It’s been a while since I woke up next to a man,” I quickly try to explain. “By this time, one of us has usually already left the building and it’s never happened to me before, that we both ended up still having our clothes on the next morning.”
Last night went in a completely different direction than I had originally and so carefully planned. After he ordered me to my room, I refused to go. I felt like a child that was being sent to her room for being naughty. Who does he think he is? I’m not a child! That must have been the reason why I threw a fit and my body on his bed. There, try getting rid of me now, I thought. I might even have said that out loud ... So. Utterly. Embarrassing.
He remained calm though, and such a gentleman. He settled down on the bed next to me, resting his head on his hand, and we talked for a long time. I would never admit this to anyone, not even to myself, but not having sex for once was nice. He was truly interested in me as a person, and not just as some hot chick.
A sigh escapes his lips. “And how does it feel, Nina? When you’re all alone in your bed again, after one of your flings. Does it make you feel good about yourself?”
His questions were very deep. Questions I would not even dare ask myself. He made me wonder. Lying there, whispering, he finally fell asleep. So did I, sometime later.
Before that, however, I did my best to seduce him. Seductive poses on the bed, crossing my arms so my cleavage was accentuated. I crept close to him and gently kissed his neck. It was obvious he had a hard time maintaining his self-control.
But nothing worked, so I tried a different tactic. I thought, maybe my funny side would do the trick. A sense of humor can also be very sexy, you know?
“Don’t be so selfish. You will have that body for the rest of your life. I just want it for tonight.” It makes him laugh. It’s an infectious laugh, with shaking shoulders and all.
“If it were up to me, I would have you all the nights for the rest of my life, because one night would never be enough,” he says.
“I realize that sex is not the answer. Sex is the question and yes is your answer.” That makes him laugh again. I don’t give him time to react. I’m on a roll. “People say kissing is the language of love. Care to have a discussion with me?” I wink at him and lick my lips.
Of course, I know all of this wouldn’t lead to any sex but because it’s so obvious he’s having fun, I keep going. I really have him cranked up.
“You are just one big opening line. More, please!” he encourages me.
So I continue. I could go on for hours, but somewhere deep down inside, I start wondering, when a guy thinks you’re hi
larious, would he still want to fuck you?
“My name is Nina. So you know what to scream out.” I try to give him a serious look while I say this, batting my eyelashes a couple of times. In the meantime, he’s rolling around on the bed, laughing. “I hope you have first aid skills, because you are breathtaking,” I add.
All of a sudden, he stops laughing. The chemistry that had been lingering all along in the background takes hold of us at that moment as he grabs my upper arms and pulls me into him. I just can’t resist caressing the stubble on his cheeks with my thumbs and then his slightly parted lips, while he looks me in the eyes.
“Kiss me,” I demand. He kisses me hard, our tongues engaging in a fierce dance. I could have eaten him whole. He takes possession of me, kissing me with so much passion. My hands travel up into his hair, tugging it gently. He moans and leans in even deeper. When he puts his hand on the small of my back, I can feel his hardness against my belly.
We breathe the same air, and I can’t get close enough. I want to crawl inside of him. For him to crawl inside of me. I push against his chest so he rolls onto his back, and I crawl on top of him. Grinding my hips against him, I feel every inch of his deliciously long, hard dick. He’s ready.
Our breathing becomes heavier, while his tongue tries to force its way even deeper into my mouth. In an effort to possess and claim him, I bite and suck on it ferociously.
I’m mad with desire. A feeling so intense, it feels out of this world. For a man I hardly know. But that’s not what it feels like. It feels as if it’s never been different. As if there has never been anyone else. As if all other sexual experiences were some sort of meaningless exercises, preparing me for this moment.
I have to get his clothes off. And mine. I can’t have any obstacles. No boundaries. I can’t let anything get in the way. Desperately, I start tugging at the upper button of his shirt. He grabs my butt cheeks with both hands, as if his life depended on the contact. First, one hand travels under my panties and then the other. The bare skin of his warm, big hands is now on my cold, naked behind and it feels fantastic.
Chasing the CEO (The CEO Duet, #1) Page 6