A picture of Nick thrashing about in her arms flashed into her mind, haunting her with its clarity and poignancy. That spot on her jaw was still tender, but a little makeup had concealed the worst of the bruise.
“Rosie. I asked you a question.”
Her head came up sharply. “I know. Of course we can hold each other at night. I was just thinking I should go home before you do—to prepare Cody.”
He studied her through shuttered lids. “That’s probably the best idea. I need to get a few things together and lock up here. But before I do anything else, there’s something I want to give you.”
He pulled the engagement ring from his pocket. “Hold up your left hand, sweetheart. I’m putting this back on your finger where it belongs.”
She stared at the exquisite two-carat, princess-cut diamond. She simply couldn’t hurt him again. If she showed any hesitation, any at all, Nick would notice it immediately. He’d—
No. Not Nick. Zach!
“Until the divorce is final, I can’t legally wear your ring,” she began in a low voice. “But if you want to give it to me when we get home, I’ll wear it on a chain around my neck.”
A satisfied gleam entered his eyes. He repocketed the ring and reached for her again. “Tonight, Rosie, you’ve made me the happiest man alive.”
THE NEXT AFTERNOON, Nick was just getting ready to leave his hotel room and drive over to the house to get Cody when he heard his son knocking on the door, calling out to him in an urgent voice.
He crossed the room in a few swift strides and let him in, then gave him a bear hug. “Where’s Jeff?”
“He had to go cut his grandma’s lawn.”
“So how come you didn’t wait for me at home?”
“Because there’s been a change in plans.”
His spirits plummeted. Rosie had probably decided not to go with them.
“That’s okay. Your mom can join us another time.”
“She and Zach are going to meet us at the Wagon Wheel around six.”
Zach?
Nick gazed at his son. “You must have done a great job of patching things up with your mom where Zach is concerned.”
“Yeah. Everything’s fine. He even slept over last night.”
Nick felt as if a grenade had just blown up his gut.
“Excuse me a minute, Cody. I think I left my wallet in the other room. Why don’t you go out and wait for me in the car? It’s not locked.”
“Okay, Dad.”
Nick raced to the bathroom in time to lose his lunch. R.T. had warned him about precipitating events too quickly.
“Dad?” Cody murmured cautiously, opening the bathroom door a crack.
“I thought I told you to go outside.”
“You looked sick. I didn’t want to leave you. It’s ’cause of what I said, huh? About Zach. ’Cause you love mom.”
His son was too astute for his own good. “Don’t worry about it.” He put the cap back on the toothpaste and left the bathroom, his arm around Cody. “Thanks for always being there for me, bud. I love you.”
“Love you, too, Dad.”
Nick suddenly needed to get away. On impulse he asked, “How would you like to sleep under the stars tonight?”
“Could we?”
“I don’t see why not. The people selling the ranch told me I can have the run of the place. There’s a beautiful meadow over by the stream. We can put our sleeping bags there. First thing in the morning, I’ll get you back down in time for school.”
“That’ll be awesome. But, Dad, you don’t have a sleeping bag, and mine’s kind of wimpy.”
“On the way out of town we’ll stop at a sporting-goods store and pick up a couple. In fact, we’ll buy a bunch of camping things while we’re at it.”
“Oh, man, I need a lot of stuff. Can we get one of those flashlight lanterns?”
“Sure,” Nick replied, eager to grant his son his slightest wish. Especially after what he’d learned tonight. It was going to be just the two of them….
Forty-five minutes later, they were loading gear into the Rover. “Wow! Dad, I think we bought out the whole store.”
“Looks that way, doesn’t it? When you camp with me, you do it right. Let’s head over to the grocery store and load the cooler. Then we’ll take off for the canyon.”
With Cody discussing the instructions for their new Coleman lantern and stove, time passed quickly, and they arrived at the Wagon Wheel before Rosie.
“Heck. Mom’s not here yet.”
“While we’re waiting, let’s sit on the grass over there and I’ll show you how to play cards. We’ll start with twenty-one.”
“Mom doesn’t like card games.”
“I suspect your mom doesn’t want you to know how good she used to be at twenty-one and five-card stud. Of course, she could never beat me, but she came close a couple of times.”
“Mom?”
“Your mom was one exciting woman, Cody.”
He’d loved their midnight poker games after the baby was down for the night. She’d lose her concentration and he’d wipe her out of all her money. Then she’d have to divvy up whatever she was wearing. And then…
On a sharp intake of breath, Nick pulled the pack of cards he’d bought out of his shirt pocket. After placing one of the lantern boxes between them for a table, he started shuffling.
“Cool, Dad. How’d you learn to do that with one hand?”
“Have you ever heard the expression ‘Necessity is the mother of invention’?”
“Yeah.” They grinned at each other.
“All right. I’m going to deal each of us a card facedown, and one faceup. You want both cards to add up to twenty-one, or as close to it as possible, but you don’t want to go over. Take a peek at your bottom card and decide if you want another card, or if you want to stay as is. If you want a card, say, ‘Hit me.’”
Cody had a quick mind. It didn’t take him long to catch on and start trying to outsmart his old man. They must have played at least fifteen hands before a shadow fell over them. It was Rosie. He’d know her perfume anywhere.
“What are you two doing?” Her voice sounded half-amused, half-exasperated.
He turned his head, taking in the gold-and-blue vision that blinded him to everything else. “Nothing you and I haven’t done on innumerable occasions. Of course the stakes were a little different then,” Nick added before he could catch himself.
A becoming flush filled her cheeks. She remembers.
Cody was still figuring his numbers and could hardly stop long enough to greet his mother.
“D-do you want to eat first?” She seemed to have trouble meeting his gaze.
Rosie, sweetheart…you’re acting just like you did when we first met. All breathless and nervous. Why?
“It’s getting darker. Maybe you’d better follow me and Cody to the property while we can still see.”
She nodded jerkily, then walked back to the Passat parked three cars down. Nick couldn’t stop staring at her. That was when he unexpectedly met Zach Wilde’s cool gray eyes. The other man had been watching him, sizing him up.
Nick nodded in acknowledgment. Zach reciprocated.
Because of blindfolds and the darkness of the underground bunkers, he never saw his enemy in Iraq.
Coming face-to-face with the enemy in Heber, Utah—as benign a setting as anywhere in the world—was a whole new experience.
“We’ll continue our game before bed, Cody,” he announced, then turned on the ignition.
“Okay, but let’s hurry. This is a lot more fun than video games.”
“Now you’re showing some real maturity.”
Five minutes later they’d left the small town and were driving along a country lane toward the snow-capped mountains to the west. Reaching elevations of eleven thousand feet, they towered majestically over the Swiss-like landscape of the lower hillsides.
“Ah, Cody, this is the life. Everything in this valley is so green and fresh. Smell that air.”
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His son made a face. “Yeah. Manure. Someone’s been fertilizing.”
Nick threw back his head and laughed.
Every now and then he glanced at the rearview mirror. Zach maintained several car lengths’ distance.
“We’re here!”
“We are.”
Pulling to the side of the road, he turned off the engine and jumped out of the Rover. He had decided to wear the black T-shirt and Levi’s jacket Rosie had picked out for him the other day to let her know he appreciated her doing some shopping for him.
Not pausing in his stride, he headed for the Passat and walked right up to the driver’s side as Zach levered himself from the car. Cody had joined Rosie, who stood nearby, looking anxious.
Nick could tell at a glance that he and Zach were the same height. This close, he was forced to admit Rosie had found herself a good-looking man.
“Hello, Zach. I’ve wanted to meet you for some time. From all I’ve heard, you’ve been wonderful to Cody. I appreciate everything you’ve done for him.” He extended his right hand.
Zach gave it a firm shake. “Nick. It’s an honor to meet you. Congratulations on surviving an ordeal few men will ever have to go through. Welcome home.”
He nodded. “It’s good to be home.” His gaze switched to Rosie. “If you’ll look to the west over here—” he gestured “—that Swiss-style chalet and barn, all the property going to the foothills, is going to be my ranch in a month or so, but only if you like it and approve of the whole idea.”
Her voice sounded faraway when she said, “It’s beautiful, Nick. There isn’t anything not to like. How about you, Cody?”
“I love it up here, Mom, and it’s not that far from home.”
“No, you’re right. Of course I approve.”
“I’m glad.” Nick managed to find the words, then once again addressed Zach. “The property due south, with the ranchstyle house is still for sale. My friend, R.T., and his wife, would like to move up here, too. We plan to ranch the land together, and I think we can make a go of it.”
“I don’t doubt it,” Zach replied. “I’ve lived near the ocean most of my life and it’s a part of me, but I have to admit it’s beautiful up here. If I’d been in prison as long as you, I’d head for the mountains, too. Being in the outdoors makes all the difference.”
“Cody told me you’re quite the cyclist, which means you’re outdoors a lot.”
“I’m not the nine-to-five office type, either.”
Nick nodded, then looked around at the pink-frosted peaks. “I dreamed about retiring to this place long before I went to war. If I do live here, Cody will be spending a lot of time with me.
“As I told Rosie, since you’re going to be the other man in my son’s life, I want us to be able to communicate so that we all get along and do what’s best for him.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
The man’s sincere. I can’t fault your choice, Rosie.
“You’ll be joining us for dinner at the Wagon Wheel, Nick?”
“Thanks, but no. Maybe another time.”
“Yeah,” Cody piped up. “Dad and I decided to camp out tonight.”
Rosie seemed astounded. “Where?”
“Here, on the property.”
“But, Cody, you have school in the morning.”
“It’s all right, Rosie,” Nick intervened. “I’ll have him down in time. Tonight we’re going to count stars and tell Big Foot stories.”
“Do you have anything to eat?” she blurted, her troubled gaze passing from Cody to Nick. Worried about me, sweetheart? Won’t the mother in you let go?
“We’ve got everything, Mom. T-bone steaks, hash browns, alligator jaws.”
“Alligator jaws? Those pastries with the whipped cream inside? I didn’t think anyone made them anymore. Nick, those were your very favorite snacks after school. I can remember the filling getting all over your—” She stopped abruptly.
Another memory, Rosie. We share so many it’s going to be hard not to be haunted by them.
“Are you going to be warm enough?” She recovered in time to ask a question on a completely different subject.
“We bought all new gear,” Cody said. “Do you want to see it?”
“I think Zach and your mom are anxious to go back to town for dinner. As for us, bud, we’ve got a camp to set up before we get lost in our own cow pasture.”
Cody seemed to find the remark funny and laughed. Rosie’s expression remained unaccountably sober.
“Are you all right about this, Rosie? If you’d prefer that I take Cody home, I will.”
“N-no,” she stammered. “It’s fine.” Her gaze fused with his. “Just take good care of yourselves.”
Are you worried about my having another nightmare? Afraid Cody will see it?
“Cody and I will watch over each other,” he reassured her. “Zach, it was nice meeting you.”
“My pleasure.” They shook hands.
“Let’s go, son. See you two later.” He nodded to Rosie, then turned and headed for the Rover.
Cody followed suit and jumped into the car. Nick started the engine and drove past the chalet, forcing himself not to look through the rearview mirror.
Don’t think about them. Just don’t think.
He gave two brief honks to let the Olsons know they were there. The houselights blinked twice in response.
“Hey, is that the secret code you worked out with them?”
“That’s right.”
“I want to learn Morse code.”
“I’ll give you a couple of lessons tonight, and you can practice.”
“This is so awesome. I wish Mom—” He stopped himself, embarrassed.
“So do I, son. But I’m afraid it’s going to be just you and me from here on out.”
ROSIE GOT BACK in the Passat, trying not to stare at the Land Rover driving off through the meadow.
“I’ve hated his guts since the day you first told me you had a husband named Nick who died in the war. When you phoned me and said he was coming home, I prayed his transport plane would crash. Now I wish to God I’d never met him.”
She shivered at the vehemence in his tone. “I’m sorry, Zach.”
“Rosie, let’s go back to Salt Lake for dinner.”
“I—I was just going to suggest it.”
“Why don’t we pick up some Chinese and a video? We’ll spend a relaxing, low-key evening, since we’ve got the house to ourselves.”
“That sounds lovely.”
He reached for her hand. She clung to his, even when he had to shift gears, and tried hard not to think about anything. What she really wanted was to attain that glorious state of oblivion where there was no hurt, no pain, no guilt. Just nothing.
“Hey, sleepyhead. We’re home.”
“So fast?” Rosie lifted her head to look around. “I can’t believe I passed out on you like that.”
“I can. You’ve been under a lot of stress.”
He leaned over to caress her hair. “You go on in and I’ll run over to Charlie Chow’s. Any movie preferences?”
“Something happy.”
He came around to her side of the car and helped her out. “I’ll see what I can come up with.” After giving her a swift hard kiss on the mouth, he left.
Rosie hurried into the house and locked the door, relieved that he hadn’t insisted she go with him. This was one time she couldn’t burden Zach. Her emotions were in such a chaotic state that she couldn’t explain them to herself, let alone to him.
Why wasn’t she jumping up and down with excitement at finding herself truly alone with Zach—her husband-to-be? It didn’t make sense. They’d been given a whole night of privacy, to talk without interruption, to hold each other, to make definite plans for the future.
Shaking her head as if to ward off the guilt, she made her way to the bathroom to freshen up and replace the clothes she’d worn to work with her quilted robe and slippers.
As she walked towar
d the living room, it struck her as odd that the house felt so empty. Heavens, she’d been alone many times. Cody often slept over with friends or spent a few nights in St. George with his grandparents.
Why did the emptiness seem different tonight?
You know why, Rosie. Because you’re feeling lonely. Because Cody’s not in any of his usual places. He’s in paradise. He’s with Nick.
She could see them now, the lanterns lit, fierce looks of concentration on their faces as they tried to beat each other at poker and outdo each other with scary stories. When the lights went out, they’d place their sleeping bags side by side, then climb in and gaze up at the heavens.
They’d philosophize a little, chat about nonessentials. Eventually Cody would ask questions about the war. How did Nick keep himself alive in prison? What did he think about? What frightened him? What did it feel like not to have a hand anymore?
Nick would answer some of Cody’s questions with a watered-down version of his experiences, then change the subject to something more on Cody’s level, like friends, sports, girls. They’d talk about all kinds of things, all kinds of people—except one. Cody’s mother, Nick’s wife.
A sharp pain pierced Rosie’s heart. She cried out in the oppressive stillness of her empty home.
Face it, Rosie. You wish you were there with them. You feel left out.
Terrified at the direction of her thoughts, she rushed over to the couch and began rearranging the pillows. She tried not to think about Nick using it as a bed. She fought the memory of his hunched body, fallen to the floor as he relived his imprisonment.
When the divorce was final, what lucky woman would have the privilege of holding him at night, of sharing his future? Who else knew how to scratch his back in just the right way, rub the ache out of his legs when the muscles tightened up?
Who else knew he was his most amorous at four o’clock in the morning? Who else knew how ticklish he was behind his knees? That if you kissed him there, he was putty in your hands? Your slave for the night?
What woman would be the recipient of that secret smile of his that said, I’ve got you where I want you. There’s no one to save you. You’re all mine. Come here, little girl. You know when your number is up.
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